With more and more women working full-time, the question of what to do with your children arises. One of the more obvious answers is daycare. But, should you really put your child in daycare? There have been countless stories of children being abused by daycare workers. There have even been deaths of young babies and toddlers due to the negligence of daycare workers. There are many other risks associated with daycare, too, such as your child not having a secure attachment to you, or behavioral problems that arise in the early elementary years. Granted, not every daycare is bad, but the best way to raise your child is at home. What experiences have you all had with daycare/raising your child at home?

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Interesting, but has there not been a study where more children have been hurt at home in the care of their parents, than with childcare providers?

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Are you asking parents to share their negative experiences with daycare providers?

Or are you asking daycare providers to share their experiences?

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I haven't heard about that study, but what I have heard about is all the news stories about horrible things happening to young children in daycare. Here are a few I heard about recently:

• March 2013- a one year old died from falling out of a high chair while he was unsupervised (http://www.wftv.com/news/news/local/...nse-sta/nW5yS/)
• March 2013- an eleven month old baby died suffocating from a car seat chest strap (http://www.burbankleader.com/the818n...0,645385.story)
• March 2013- a daycare worker was found putting a sleeping aide in toddlers’ sippy cups (http://www.gilroydispatch.com/articl...1cce2aeb5.html)
• August 2010- a two year old was left in a hot van all day and died (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq51aRzCZbc)
• May 2012- Fox Files did a segment on daycare, and they found cases of daycare workers hitting and shaking children, calling children names such as “retards” or “drug babies”, putting hot sauce in babies’ mouths for biting, and not changing diapers all day (http://fox2now.com/2012/05/08/fox-fi...ycare-dangers/)

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I am asking for both!

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That's like asking "Should you really put your children in a car?"

There have been countless stories of children being hurt by drivers of cars. There have even been deaths of young babies and toddlers due to the negligence of drivers. There are many other risks associated with driving, too, such as your child not having a secure attachment, or behavioral problems that arise from being in a carseat. Granted, not every driver is bad, but the best way to get your child home would be to walk. What experiences have you all had with driving your child home?

There are good daycares and bad. You have to make an informed decision, look for a reputable daycare, be observant. It is just like everything else, you never hear the stories of countless daycare providers going above and beyond for children. You only hear of the few the are rotten. I am sure I could find tons of articles where the parents have done horrible things to their own children if I looked. Horrible things happen and not just at daycare.

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For every bad story you post about daycare and abuse, there are twice (if not more) as many stories about parental abuse.

• Mom videotapes her 2 yr old smoking pot: http://www.newser.com/story/100719/m...weed-cops.html
  
• Parents lock their 12yr old in closet for 3 months: http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?se...cal&id=9034746
  
• Mom and boyfriend torture toddler http://www.imperfectparent.com/topic...iend-arrested/
  
• Father feeds baby daughter bleach http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?se...rld&id=8998171

The majority (75 percent) of the children were victims of neglect (531,413 children), meaning a parent or guardian failed to provide for the child's basic needs. Forms of neglect include medical neglect (15,074 children), educational neglect, physical neglect, and emotional neglect.

• Just over 1,500 children die each year in the United States from child abuse and neglect
  
• 676,569 children were the victims of child abuse in 2011
  
• 70 percent of child abuse victims are under age three years old
  
• over 80 percent of the abused children were abused by one the child's parent
  
• neglect is the most common form of child abuse, followed by physical abuse, sexual abuse, psychological abuse, and lastly, medical neglect

There are dangers in EVERYTHING you choose to do. Placing your child in child care and working outside the home is a CHOICE not something anyone is forced to do.

Good parents do it every day. Good providers care for children every day.

The trick is to find a daycare provider you are comfortable with and trust. It goes BOTH ways. You can't simply post statistics of how many kids are killed or hurt in child care without viewing the other side of the story too.

Many of the members of this board are child care providers because they made the choice to stay home and raise their own children.

Every parent has a choice to work or not work if they have children.

I don't think it is going to help anyone (parents or providers) to paint child care in a negative light.

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Yes, there are cases of abuse at home, as well as in daycare. It is very important, however, for parents to look up information and choose a good daycare. A lot of the neglect and abuse stories in daycare occur in unlicensed daycares. A better solution would be to use a licensed daycare, which is regulated by the state.

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I'm sorry, but this smacks of a troll.

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There have been studies that show children at home are more likely to have injuries vs daycare. I think unfortunately there are bad daycare providers out there and the media jumps on those stories. However, there are MANY great daycare providers out there. Just like there are bad parents and wonderful, caring, involved parents. It goes both ways...

In a good home daycare kids are supervised, they learn and do all kinds of preschool activities and crafts, they eat healthy well balanced meals. This is not always the case at home. Some of these kids are unsupervised, not taught anything, they eat junk food and soda all day long etc... Sad, but being home isn't always the best. Even the so called "good" parents will bring the kids to daycare even when they have a day off, the kids are in care for the longest time possible, these parents do not want to parent.

This is a topic that could go back and forth all day, what exactly are you trying to get out of this? Kids get abused in daycare, it's awful and those stories are all over the news-there are a TON of great providers that don't get media attention because it's not news. Kids get abused at home as well- a lot...so I just don't see your point?

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To assume a licensed daycare is safer than unlicensed is not true either...

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Uh huh! Sorry but that is NOT the case at all!

A license does NOT guarantee safety and quality any more than a driver's license can guarantee that you are a good driver.

Personally, I'd like to know what your actual point is.

Are you trying to discredit child cares? or parents?

Many states do NOT require providers to be licensed or registered.

Nanny care has no regulations and there are countless stories of nanny abuse/killings too.

I know many unlicensed child care providers that are freakin' fantastic and many licensed providers who make me ashamed to be in this field with them so having license verses not having one has NOTHING to do with abuse, neglect or poor care.

Unless you are looking for something specific for your own research, please do some research before coming to a forum made up of 99% providers and make statements such as you did.

I am not trying to be rude and am actually trying to be helpful but I just don't really understand what it is you are looking for.....

Please elaborate.......

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I would like to ask the OP what her own experiences are and what are her purposes in asking such a question on a home daycare forum? Do you have a real reason for asking, or just trying to stir up trouble?

"Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here."

The above quote is the heading of this section

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A troll or a poorly chosen forum to post this topic on.

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Part of me does believe troll but since the OP is replying back and forth, I figure we atleast owe it to them to ask what the point is.

If there is no point or purpose other than to stir up drama, we will know.

So again, as asked,


OP~ WHAT exactly is your point? What information are you looking for and why?

Please elaborate on your intentions and if you aren't a troll and really are looking for information, you might just hit the jack pot and have a whole lot of providers in tons of different environments, BOTH licensed and unlicensed helping you out.

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Not the OP. I do think in many cases at least in my area, putting children in daycare is a choice parents make, as they wish to have a two income family in order to aford the lifestyle they picked. It's not all black & white though. In many cases I do believe it is best for children to be raised at home with family. In other cases though the children will greatly benifit from being in quality childcare. If a parent decides to place their child in care which I don't believe is a bad thing, then they need to do their due dilegence in selecting a quality provider, which will include not just shopping around for the cheapest rate. Again it is not all black & white - price is not always an indicater of quality, nor is being licenced.

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True, I agree.

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Life itself is dangerous. Does that mean you intend to live in a bubble and never venture outside?

I've been unlicensed and licensed. I don't do things any differently now then I did before.

Like anything else, there's good and there's bad. I've had some amazing parents that did a wonderful job of raising their children. I've had some children that were much better off in my care than that of their parents.

In a perfect world, all mothers would be maternal and stay home and raise their families, put 3 healthy meals on the table every day, and nurture their children with only love. We don't live in a perfect world, never have, never will.

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This topic has been bantered back and forth forever. Not even going there unless there is a clear reason and point by the OP other than to start a debate or try and ridicule providers.

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Unfortunately the "good news" stories don't get near the press coverage.

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The highest risk to a child is mommy's boyfriend not the daycare worker. It's important that mommy look up information and choose a good boyfriend. A better solution would be to use bio daddy as the caregiver when she is away as he is less likely to harm his own child.

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Yes, this is very true!

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Statistics show that boyfriends and step fathers have a higher incidence of committing child abuse than biological fathers.

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I wouldn't be surprised if it was someone from that "daycares don't care" website trying to stir up trouble or get more evidence of why they think daycares are bad. I also found it very odd that they used a smiley face as the thread icon for a subject on dangers in child care; on a website for child care providers.

And to the OP, the reason why you always hear bad stories on the news about daycares is because they only spot light daycares when it stands out from the rest; which means it's either very bad or very good. The news industry realizes just like the rest of the media world that the things that sell the most (or improve ratings) are sex and violence; which are the worst things that can happen in a daycare. The only time they really do good news on daycares is if they are doing something big like having the kids/staff volunteer at a charity event (relay for life) or are being a part of the community (like a kid's parade), and that is usually because 1) it is a very slow news day; 2) they are already covering an event; 3) because the provider or one of the daycare parent's/ community group leaders calls the local newspaper/ news channel to inform them. I mean do you think that the news station cares if someone was in daycare for 5 years with no violations and taught children the basic academics and manners? No, because that is what most daycares teach children under 5. Unless they won an award because of their outstanding child care program (very rare/unlikely) or got major violations/accusations they will most likely not be on the news related to their child care program. This is not a job people do because they think they will get rich and famous, and if some is in this business for those reason they are in the wrong industry.

Plus there are hundreds of thousands of daycares all across the US and all those stories combined probably add up to less than 10% of the daycare population, still too many and of course those are only the reported cases; but nowhere near the majority of decent quality child care homes and centers across the country.

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Crikey! I had no idea this existed!! I guess it makes sense that it does though (as in there is a website for everything). Wow way to make parents the HAVE to work feel terrible.

My brothers and I grew up in daycare. We all have providers that we consider family, my youngest brother loves his aunt Sally and both my other brother and I connect with grandma Berta still (she retired right before our youngest brother was born, 16yr age difference). Both are providers that have no relation to us and are great people. I respect them very much, they were much better influences and role models than our actual parents were.

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Yeah, I came across it about a year or two ago in a search engine when I was looking for information on doing daycare. I am not saying there is anything wrong with being a stay-at-home-mom; but those people are like extremist/fanatics about it.

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I just had a read through their FAQ's...wow!

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And when Mommy's boyfriend is caring for the child and potty training....

http://www.kcci.com/news/central-iow...2/-/index.html

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Oh man, you need to stop! I am licensed, but you don't need to bash unlicensed daycares. There are plenty of fantastic unlicensed providers out there. The license is a piece of paper and does NOT guarantee a wonderful provider. I am not saying licensed providers are bad.....Bottom line:

There are good and bad licensed providers/ daycares
There are good and bad unlicensed providers/ daycares
There ARE good AND bad PARENTS

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Very true

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I am not sure why this is being discussed but whether it is a fact or not the mommy boyfriend thing is pretty discriminatory. I bet daddy's girlfriends can be just as mean/abusive.

As far as putting any credence into the original poster's opinion I don't get why this forum of all things would stir up the troll juice for someone.

Yes there are horrible daycares, daycare providers and horrible parents in this world. Let's just hope that none of the children we are responsible for are living this.

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Also according to WHO, statistically single mothers are the most likely to be physically abusive towards their children (stressed to the breaking point), and do much better when they have a strong support circle and education.

Male caregivers are more likely to be sexually abusive (no specification as to relationship to the child).

These statistics are based on cases reported so it is entirely possible that single mothers get reported more often because they are followed more closely by social services.

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you would loose that bet

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I'd rather lose weight than lose a bet but here are some stats for you. My brain is a numbers one so this is how I make sense of things.

192,321 cases in the data provided by the US govt at aspe.hhs.gov

46% of the perpetrators (89 028) were male
of those 89 028, 26% were non-parents, 13 % (3015) of who were non-relatives.

54% of the perpetrators (103,293) were female
4% of those women (4131) were step mothers, father's girlfriends, adoptive mothers

so yes a higher percentage of male non-relatives commit abuse but since a higher percentage of women are reported abusers the numbers end up higher on the female side.

Maybe women are less likely to report their boyfriends but, in the end the statistics say women abuse more often than men do.

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http://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default...11.pdf#page=80

Look at exhibit Four E on page 59
Parner of parent male to partner of parent female

This is a long paper but it has really great breakdowns if you have the time.

I don't have time to do this research again but this was one easy one to find.

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Unless I am in the wrong section it is 36 fatalities by boyfriends, 3 by girlfriends 27 by childcare providers and 906 by one or both parents (305 by the mom)

Overall abuse stats (yes death is the worst) still show that women are the perpetrators more often than men. This would include emotional and physical abuse.

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To the OP, who is likely just a troll......

Thanks so much for stirring the pot. I'm convinced you didn't post this as a public service announcement, you likely just wanted to feel better about yourself and diss.some hard working, loving, and dedicated professionals.

Look.at the quoted text above.
Daycare providers: 27
Parents: 906

Its like golf, honey, low score wins. Your argument is ridiculous. It doesn't take a statistician to see that more children suffer abuse at home than at daycare.

Sorry to the ladies who took the time to research this topic to prove the troll wrong.

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Ugh...is anyone else tired of trying to explain that, just like everything else in the world, there are good child cares and there are bad child cares. There are good restaurants and there are restaurants I wouldn't eat at. There are good stores and stores I won't shop in. There are good doctors and doctors I won't see. There are good plumbers and plumbers I won't hire. Get the picture?
I am tired of the only examples of home child care people use are the worst possible examples, Tata, etc. There ARE home-based child care providers who treat this as a profession worthy of training and education and put a lot of time and effort into our work and CARE about the children and families we work with.

If you are against child care on principle then you will have to be creative. You have a lot of other choices:
- Job share with someone and trade off work hours and child care.
- Have grandma and grandpa (or Aunt Mary or Uncle Joe) do childcare.
- Work opposite shift as your co-parent so you can trade off child care duties.
- Join or start a parent co-op child care.
- Don't have children.
- Find a job that will allow you to bring your infant with you. I know two people (one a teacher and one a librarian) who do this.
-Work from home.

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I find it incredibly interesting that a thread that had the POTENTIAL for becoming an issue (sister wives) was locked after only a few replies, even though no one was getting out of line, yet this thread is ok, despite the obvious trolling going on here.

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Oh I agree that parents are at the top of the heap. I think we are looking at a couple of different things.

I'm saying that in death and life altering injuries that day care providers aren't as risky as mommy's boyfriend.

I know mommy is a higher risk than her boyfriend.

I'm looking at it once you remove the parents or parent participated....

I'm looking at it from the OP's deal of CHOOSING the right person. She is more likely to choose a boyfriend that will abuse than a day care provider that will abuse. We see SO much about choosing a provider when the public service announcements need to focus on choosing a non related male to care for your kids at any time... with or without money.

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TRUE, TRUE, ALL OF THAT! I would just like to add that applies to centers as well.

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I just took an infant/toddler seminar that focused on secure attachment & actually the research shows that as long as an infant has ONE secure attachment-be it with mom,dad,grandma,grandpa,a caregiver-that they will develop just fine emotionally.sure there are bad day cares but there's a lot of good ones too.i for one take my job very seriously!

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I still haven't figured out why that thread was locked. The thread about gay marriage stayed alive and well for way longer than it should have.

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I actually did not mean to come across as a troll. What I didn't realize was the audience on here, which is completely my fault. I wanted to voice to parents that choosing a good daycare is important because there are so many stories out there of awful things happening to children. I do realize there are good daycares out there, and I encourage parents to find those good daycares.

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If you were to pick a cause to promote the importance of choice why would you choose child care? Why not focus on the segments of the population that really pose a significant risk? Did you KNOW that child care providers are not even close to the greatest risk to children?

I'm all for education but really wonder why child care providers are targeted when statistics show they are a markedly less risk than the childs parents and boyfriends.

Why did you pick child care? Is it because money is exchanged?

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I'm wondering this too. Do you have any experience dealing with individuals in the child care profession or is this just based off a recent story in the news?

I hate sweeping generalizations about the field and providers. I often get rude comments or generalizations that insinuate that I don't care or just sit around all day letting the kids run amuck from people that don't have kids or have no experience with child care (or those few that have had negative experiences).

News/media report the bad, it sells. I could make those same generalizations about organized religion because I hear about kids being abused all the time in the news. Does that mean its really what happens in every place of worship? Umm no

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Then a more appropriate title of your thread would have been "Choosing a Good Daycare"

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