I have been running my daycare for nearly 5 years now. My son is 6 years old and my main reason for opening a daycare was to be able to stay home with him and raise him myself. While I have been the only person that has raised him it surely did not turn out the way I was hoping for. When I opened my doors I was a single mom so income was a factor as well. I do run a full daycare. In Saskatchewan, Canada that means 2 children under 30 months, 3 children 31 months - school age and 3 before and after school children.

I have had my son complain to me that I don't spend enough time with him. Strange hey...I'm home 24 hours a day and don't have enough time for my own son. But in some aspects it is true. I can not focus all my time and energy on him when I have other children that need my time as well.

I feel he is getting the short end of the stick. It's even worse now that he is older and gone at school all day long. When he gets home he hangs out upstairs...daycare is down, so I hardly see him again until supper time. My son likes his space after school and doesn't always want to be around the little kids and be a part of the daycare rules set when he comes down. He has his own collection of toys upstairs, game systems, art supplies, etc...and would rather be doing these things on his own.

So then I still have all evening for him right? WRONG! It just doesn't seem to work out that way. I run a 10.5 hour day and when I get off work I am usually completely exhausted. Our evening meal time is not the typical family meal time at the table. Most nights we are eating on the go while running errands or ordering in or fending for ourselves (either myself or my husband prepares my son's meals) but it's just not the same as sitting down as a family and having that one on one time.

If we are not out running errands we have friends stop by or family members that need something. Showers that need to be taken, cleaning that needs taken care of, phone calls, emails to answer, letters to write etc... It's just completely rediculous!

I love my daycare and really would not want to do anything but what I do, however, I just wish I could be there for my son more. I miss all of his school events because of the daycare too.

We do have one night a week were we will all cuddle up to a family movie but this just doesn't come often enough.

Do any other's feel this way?

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Yes I do, every day. the first half of school year it was hardest for my boys, they every week asked for me to come have lunch like the other moms (arrow straight to the heart). They too, like your son, don't really like being in the daycare space but lose a lot of my attention if they stay in family space. In the end I have decided to back to school so I really will be there for them and only them next year. As a single mom though, I don't know how I would handle it.

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I only have one in school so far, and I've missed some special lunches and things that I used to be able to go to before the daycare. Luckily, I have my own parents and my husband who can go in my place for those things....it's not Mom, but he seems okay about it.

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I am not so lucky. My husband works a 8-5 job and my mother who lives in the city as well could care less to be involved in 'kid' stuff so to speak so my poor boy has no one to support him with these events. I always feels so bad when he says, "mommy we are having a party tomorrow and all the parents are coming, can you come or do you have to watch the kids?" geeze nothing like feeling like a big pile of crap! It's just so unfortunate I really wish things didn't have to be this way but I don't see any way around it.

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i think everyone who does home daycare feels this way.

its a catch 22.

if i had to work full time, like some of the mom's who come here, it would be the same. they pick up their kids at 6. we live in the sticks, so they're not getting home until 6:30. you know by the time they get in the door and get dinner ready, its at least 7 or even 7:30. they still have to do homework, baths, cleanup, catch up on other tasks they cant do during the day, like laundry and paying bills, and then its off to bed. forget it if they have to add ball or piano practice into the mix. then its up at the crack of dawn to do this rushed schedule all over again. most are out the door by 6:30, to get their kids here and to get to work by 7:30/8.

i think i have chosen the lesser of two evils. both my boys are in school now. they dont really like that i do daycare, but i dont think they'd like it if i worked full time either.

i tell them all the time, we're a family, and we all have to make sacrifices. so they come home to a house full of kids. they could be coming home to no one but a TV.

i do try to attend all of their functions, and take turns doing this w/ my hubby. depending on what it is, sometimes the DC kids tag along. sometimes we miss some. sometimes i'd miss some if i worked too. i have DC parents who never get to go to ANY of the school functions.

weekdays are hectic around here, so i always make sure weekends are strictly for family. even if its playing the wii, or going to the library, or baking cookies. no work, no chores, just family.

its not about the quantity of time, but the quality.

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I feel that way in the summer but if I worked outside the home I wouldn't be here to do all the things I do do for them like baking them cookies or hearing their stories when they get home one of the greatest memory I have has a child is my mother always being home when I got off the bus after school with a treat and her ear to hear how my day went.

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I decided to stay home for many reasons, not just so I could be home with my children, and I don't regret if for one moment.

1. I have two teenagers that come home to a house with a mom in it. Imagine if I worked a regular job? Teenagers home alone = disaster waiting to happen.

2. My older children get to see what it is like to work with toddlers and therfore have a better understanding of their 3yr old sibling.

3. When i really need to go some where I arrange my schedule to get it off, not a boss telling me NO or we will see.

4. I do feel sad that I don't always get to go to their school events, but dad does take the camcorder and I dont miss out on the very important onces, like honor roll awards and so forth.

5. My 3yr old may not always get mommy time and attention during DC, but there is nothing better than getting to pick him up kiss him, hug him and know that he is always going to be ok.

6. Nothing makes my heart melt more than the smile of a child

I know in my heart of hearts this is the right choice for my family.

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I agree.

Plus.......

When you have teenagers, or children who grew up in a house with other children, it's like free birth control

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lmao we share thoughts I sware..... again u wrote what I was thinking...

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Great minds think alike.

Maybe we are long lost twins? lol.

Are you roasting a chicken right now too?

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actually no I am eating garlic bread................lol

i cant cook....lol thats my husband dept. lmao

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My 12 year old told me the other day...babies are hard, why does anyone want them? I told her if any of her friends ever think they want a baby to have them come spend a week with us!

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exactly!!!!! Usually when kids/teens see babies, they are all cute and happy. But if you have to deal with a child, ESPECIALLY at sleeping time (usually daycares do not have them overnight) it's really frustrating.

I had my nephew for a night last weekend, and my goodness, I dreaded bedtime, then when he got fussy before bed (he never fusses ever) I was ready to drive the 45 minutes to take him home! Thank goodness he fussed no more than 10 minutes and passed out for the night. Woke up once, and than slept until 10am.

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I was just going to post this.

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Old thread...but I have trained and hired a young 20 something to run my daycare a few hours a week so that I can take my kids out for quality time. It makes such a difference!! It gives me a break, and it gives my kids their mom for a few hours. Does anyone else do this?

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I've homeschooled my 2 (DD12 and DS13) since they were Preschool age. I started doing daycare 4 years ago. Before this, I did caregiving for Seniors overnight. I have seen posts on here about this issue, so I just talk to my children about it. I explain that, if they were in school and/ or I worked outside of the home, we would see a lot less of each other. That sometimes I'm available to chat and sometimes I'm not, but at least we are near each other. The daycare and nap room are dedicated spaces, so my children have their own space to work in if they don't want to be around the craziness. Other times, they wander in and partake of an episode of Sheriff Callie while I'm preparing lunch or join in building with wooden blocks- everyone goes outside for outdoor time though! They help me and have their lessons and chores all day, so evening time is very casual and laid back. I expect little of them. They each have 1 evening extracurricular and attend Youth on Wednesday nights. Otherwise, we chill out and do our own thing. I'm here if they need me. DH works nights mostly so he takes them on errands or watches a show or movie with them several times a week. He's here for lunch and chats with them about various things. We just make time when we can. We as parents will always have to make concessions somewhere, you just have to decide if these are the right ones for you. They're perfect for us, I couldn't have it better with the home/ work balance.

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