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Unregistered 08:40 AM 02-02-2016
long time member here in a bit of a situation that I have never been in before and don't know what to do next. feeling very sad at the moment.

I have a family that is somewhat new, here a few months, child is newly 2yrs. very sweet little child, quite and spends their days here with tons of giggles and seems to always have a great time.

to make a really long story short, dcm is saying the child said I hit her. Which clearly did not happen. I talked to the parent for a short time on the phone but got interrupted by the rest of the kids here so requested that they call back. nothing was resolved.

parent never called back as she said she would on her lunch. I sent an email, parents never emailed back. I called later that night, parents never called back.

this morning, I get a text that said child will not be attending today. i call to check in, no answer. I send text to ask if everything is ok with the child, no answer.

did I tell you that I didn't sleep at all last night after a 17 hour day of work and class. when I talked to the parent she said oh we are not accusing you???? um you are. it's not like I forgot to give this child her milk at breakfast or something, what they are saying I did could end my career, shut down my DC and put me behind bars, so I am not taking this lightly. I have never been accused of anything like this at all ever.

so now I sit here with this unresolved and I don't know what to do. I don't want to keep calling the parent. what should I do next?

any help to ease my mind so I can go on with my day would be great.
thanks
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Thriftylady 08:47 AM 02-02-2016
The first thing I would do is give licensing a heads up. The second thing I would do is consider terming. I say that because it sounds like they are accusing you. Our relationship with our families is built on trust. If it isn't there, I can't work with them.
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midaycare 08:54 AM 02-02-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
The first thing I would do is give licensing a heads up. The second thing I would do is consider terming. I say that because it sounds like they are accusing you. Our relationship with our families is built on trust. If it isn't there, I can't work with them.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm always very upfront about the kinds of silly things that comes from kids' mouths. I always tell dcf's, "Just so you know, Sally said such-and-such today." Then they are usually appalled. Then if Sally ever says something fabricated about me, they understand more.

So far the worst that has happened is a dcb told his parents all Ifeed him is cheez wiz and hot dogs.
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Unregistered 09:02 AM 02-02-2016
I would get all your ducks in a row and prepare for a visit from child protective services.
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daycarediva 09:10 AM 02-02-2016
I live in fear of an unfounded allegation!

I would clean my house (mainly because I always do when I'm upset), get my paperwork in order, email my licensar about the situation (self reporting ahead of time looks better) and then unfortunately sit and wait.

How verbal is the 2yo? When did the parent accuse you? At drop off (then left the kid?) At pick up (when they had known all day and left the kid anyway?

Document the details (emotion free) of what you recall from that conversation.

I would send the parent an email and say that you would like to discuss their concerns and would be available at X time on X day for a phone conference to discuss the situation at X number and that you looked forward to hearing from them. If they fail to contact you, I would send them a termination notice.

(((((((HUGS))))))
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MunchkinWrangler 09:15 AM 02-02-2016
Call licensing, term, and stand your ground. Kids say the craziest things sometimes. Did you have to correct a behavior? I find sometimes kids get mad and say things they know people could get in trouble for.
I would just leave an honest message with the parents stating that this is a serious accusation and let them know what you have to do on your end to protect your business.
I don't think parents realize the seriousness and I would too be concerned since you are not getting any communication back. Prepare for a visit. Honestly, unless the accusation has merit, you'll be fine, but it doesn't help with having to work long hours and dealing with the anxiety.
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Ariana 09:20 AM 02-02-2016
Lots of great advice already. Just wanted to say you did nothing wrong so stand firm in that knowledge. Be confident with these parents that nothing happened. The fact that they are believing their two yr old says quite a bit about this family.
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MissAnn 11:10 AM 02-02-2016
I've been through it..accused of something far worse. My parents...previous and current wrote letters to my DHS lady. I was told they received about 100. My kids were interviewed and eventually it was unfounded. I'm,sorry you are having to experience this. It is unfair. Hold your head high. And yes...contact your DHS lady.
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laundrymom 12:05 PM 02-02-2016
I had a similar text this week. Out of the blue it comes and says::
Joey said you beat a kid today.
I of course didn't. My immediate response was
Well. No.
And then I thought over the day. Sure enough, one of the kids choked on a banana at lunch. I did whomp on his back real fast, hard, immediate.
Then he cried.
I did beat him. But I didn't.
I explained the situation and mom understood.
Could something similar have happened? Could he think something you did in play or accident was a hit?
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NoMoreJuice! 12:11 PM 02-02-2016
Honestly, I've been through the "my child said..." chat with so many parents I've lost count. The more you call, the more desperate and guilty you seem. If you smile, shrug, and say "You should hear what she says goes on at YOUR house!" they drop it.

Only you know this family, but I wouldn't expect them to call licensing because a 2 year old said something. If there were a mark on the child or something to make the comment believable, that's different.
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Snowmom 12:39 PM 02-02-2016
I don't have much beyond what's already suggested, but try to stay calm and positive.
I can't imagine the stress something like that would cause, so the more you can do for yourself (yoga, deep breaths, chocolate ice cream covered in caramel) the better!

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Unregistered 01:44 PM 02-02-2016
You should take the rest of the week off.
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Unregistered 04:02 PM 02-02-2016
thank you for all of your responses.

I did call my LIC and they said that there was really nothing that I could do or they could do until a parent actually filed a complaint.

they just suggest I follow my policies and do what i feel that i need to. they said there would be no investigation unless again a file was made.

they also just suggested that I not continue to contact them and just leave them be.

I don't want to term because I don't want to seem like I am hiding something, but I also don't want to continue on with a family that has suggested that this occurred.

ugh
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MissAnn 04:10 PM 02-02-2016
One time a grandma picked up and asked me how her granddaughter got a blackeye. Black eye? What black eye? I looked and sure enough she had a blackeye. I was so paranoid about it. I had taken an up close picture of her early in the day and there was no blackeye. The mom started calling me about it and we had a lot of back-and-forth conversations. Come to find out, she was afraid I was going to accuse her while at the same time I was afraid she was going to accuse me! A few weeks later I said something to the grandma about it and she said… Oh I didn't tell you? It came off in the bath! This is such a hard business to be in. When parents make little statements like that it makes us feel like we are being accused. I hate that feeling.
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hope 05:30 AM 02-03-2016
I would term for lack of communication. If they truly thought this happened then they could discuss it with you or the authorities. They could have returned your call, text or email explaining that they are not comfortable coming back.
Do not worry about what terming looks like. You know the truth. It would be difficult for them to prove something happened that never did. If you keep them on they will always be looking to prove this did happen. Everything you do will be questioned.
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DaveA 05:52 AM 02-03-2016
Originally Posted by hope:
I would term for lack of communication. If they truly thought this happened then they could discuss it with you or the authorities. They could have returned your call, text or email explaining that they are not comfortable coming back.
Do not worry about what terming looks like. You know the truth. It would be difficult for them to prove something happened that never did. If you keep them on they will always be looking to prove this did happen. Everything you do will be questioned.
This x10. Time to move on immediately.
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MissAnn 10:06 AM 02-03-2016
Any updates?
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midaycare 10:34 AM 02-03-2016
Originally Posted by hope:
I would term for lack of communication. If they truly thought this happened then they could discuss it with you or the authorities. They could have returned your call, text or email explaining that they are not comfortable coming back.
Do not worry about what terming looks like. You know the truth. It would be difficult for them to prove something happened that never did. If you keep them on they will always be looking to prove this did happen. Everything you do will be questioned.
I don't think it's wise to keep this family.
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Baby Beluga 11:44 AM 02-05-2016
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
Any updates?
I was wondering this as well. Hope all is okay OP
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