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Dahlia123 03:24 PM 02-08-2016
Hello all, I hope you guys can give me some advice on dealing with a single mom who wants me to watch her child longer than I want to.
I watch her daughter afterschool and am paid by the state. When she started, she would leave at 6:30, which is what I agreed to. The problem is, I become too nice and agree to exceptions too easily. The mother told me she had a month long class in October and would need to pick her up at 8:30, which I agreed to, and she got approval for me to be paid full time (same pay for 5 -10 hrs). Then I agreed to watch her until 8:30 in November so her mother could study (Nursing school). When December came around, and she was still staying until 8:30, and I had had too much, mostly because it was getting in the way of my caring for my family and getting my own kids in bed before 8:30. I spoke with her mother, who was not happy. I told her to pick up her child by 6:30 and I could watch her later 1-2x a week if the clinic where she works had her work late. She complied. Now it's February, she's started a new job, and within the last week, she's asked me to watch her daughter past 7.
She thinks I'm being unreasonable because she's only asking me to watch her 45 extra minutes. Also, she expects that because she made it possible for me to be paid for full time hours, I should take advantage of it by forging the hours (which I won't) and be flexible when she wants me to watch her daughter past the agreed upon times.
I am extra ticked because she doesn't give me her schedule and tells me the day of, that she has to stay late. When her daughter is home from school because of snow, she will sometimes even leave her with me 11 hours.
I have a family and a life. She is the only child I care for. I don't want to be flexible. I want her to be on time. '
What would you do?
I watch her daughter afterschool and am paid by the state. When she started, she would leave at 6:30, which is what I agreed to. The problem is, I become too nice and agree to exceptions too easily. The mother told me she had a month long class in October and would need to pick her up at 8:30, which I agreed to, and she got approval for me to be paid full time (same pay for 5 -10 hrs). Then I agreed to watch her until 8:30 in November so her mother could study (Nursing school). When December came around, and she was still staying until 8:30, and I had had too much, mostly because it was getting in the way of my caring for my family and getting my own kids in bed before 8:30. I spoke with her mother, who was not happy. I told her to pick up her child by 6:30 and I could watch her later 1-2x a week if the clinic where she works had her work late. She complied. Now it's February, she's started a new job, and within the last week, she's asked me to watch her daughter past 7.
She thinks I'm being unreasonable because she's only asking me to watch her 45 extra minutes. Also, she expects that because she made it possible for me to be paid for full time hours, I should take advantage of it by forging the hours (which I won't) and be flexible when she wants me to watch her daughter past the agreed upon times.
I am extra ticked because she doesn't give me her schedule and tells me the day of, that she has to stay late. When her daughter is home from school because of snow, she will sometimes even leave her with me 11 hours.
I have a family and a life. She is the only child I care for. I don't want to be flexible. I want her to be on time. '
What would you do?
Unregistered 03:42 PM 02-08-2016
She's taking advantage of you. What you have to do is hand her a letter and state verbally as well that your hours are now from whatever time in the morning till 630 no later than 630. You cannot do later hours because it does not fit into your schedule. Also tell her you'll understand if this does not work out for her daycare needs. Time to take your business back! You can do this!
LysesKids 03:48 PM 02-08-2016
Originally Posted by Dahlia123:
Hello all, I hope you guys can give me some advice on dealing with a single mom who wants me to watch her child longer than I want to.
I watch her daughter afterschool and am paid by the state. When she started, she would leave at 6:30, which is what I agreed to. The problem is, I become too nice and agree to exceptions too easily. The mother told me she had a month long class in October and would need to pick her up at 8:30, which I agreed to, and she got approval for me to be paid full time (same pay for 5 -10 hrs). Then I agreed to watch her until 8:30 in November so her mother could study (Nursing school). When December came around, and she was still staying until 8:30, and I had had too much, mostly because it was getting in the way of my caring for my family and getting my own kids in bed before 8:30. I spoke with her mother, who was not happy. I told her to pick up her child by 6:30 and I could watch her later 1-2x a week if the clinic where she works had her work late. She complied. Now it's February, she's started a new job, and within the last week, she's asked me to watch her daughter past 7.
She thinks I'm being unreasonable because she's only asking me to watch her 45 extra minutes. Also, she expects that because she made it possible for me to be paid for full time hours, I should take advantage of it by forging the hours (which I won't) and be flexible when she wants me to watch her daughter past the agreed upon times.
I am extra ticked because she doesn't give me her schedule and tells me the day of, that she has to stay late. When her daughter is home from school because of snow, she will sometimes even leave her with me 11 hours.
I have a family and a life. She is the only child I care for. I don't want to be flexible. I want her to be on time. '
What would you do?
A lot of states stop paying subsidy after 10 hrs a day unless otherwise approved... FT is 40-50, after that I think mom is getting a lot of free care. I would check the rules & make sure she is still approved for FT hrs also, since originally it was only suppose to be for a set time period. BTW, I thought providers got a print out of what parents would be approved for, if you didn't I would ask worker - not the momHello all, I hope you guys can give me some advice on dealing with a single mom who wants me to watch her child longer than I want to.
I watch her daughter afterschool and am paid by the state. When she started, she would leave at 6:30, which is what I agreed to. The problem is, I become too nice and agree to exceptions too easily. The mother told me she had a month long class in October and would need to pick her up at 8:30, which I agreed to, and she got approval for me to be paid full time (same pay for 5 -10 hrs). Then I agreed to watch her until 8:30 in November so her mother could study (Nursing school). When December came around, and she was still staying until 8:30, and I had had too much, mostly because it was getting in the way of my caring for my family and getting my own kids in bed before 8:30. I spoke with her mother, who was not happy. I told her to pick up her child by 6:30 and I could watch her later 1-2x a week if the clinic where she works had her work late. She complied. Now it's February, she's started a new job, and within the last week, she's asked me to watch her daughter past 7.
She thinks I'm being unreasonable because she's only asking me to watch her 45 extra minutes. Also, she expects that because she made it possible for me to be paid for full time hours, I should take advantage of it by forging the hours (which I won't) and be flexible when she wants me to watch her daughter past the agreed upon times.
I am extra ticked because she doesn't give me her schedule and tells me the day of, that she has to stay late. When her daughter is home from school because of snow, she will sometimes even leave her with me 11 hours.
I have a family and a life. She is the only child I care for. I don't want to be flexible. I want her to be on time. '
What would you do?
Thriftylady 05:15 PM 02-08-2016
If you can't do it, you can't do it. I would tell her that straight up. Also most states only pay for work and school. If they find out she is doing other than that they can cut her off, and if they find out that you are doing it knowingly you may be in a bind also. I would tell her your hours, and let her know if that isn't going to work she should give notice. She is walking all over you, don't let it continue. She took a new job knowing your hours, that is on her not you.
Ariana 07:40 PM 02-08-2016
Your business, your rules. Explain the new rules to mom and don't even give a reason. The more you try to explain your boundaries the more people see it as a negotiation. Be firm.
MunchkinWrangler 09:02 PM 02-08-2016
Nope, I wouldn't even get into a discussion about why you need that time for your family. That is none of her business, plus, I think we can all agree we need time away from our workday also. You need time to reset and having set in stone operating hours give you that. I would put my foot down and tell her the pickup time, child doesn't have to go home but can't stay at your house. People don't realize that just because you're at home, you still need a break from their kids, otherwise you're always on and that's not healthy.
Unregistered 05:07 AM 02-09-2016
It interferes with caring for your own child--so why are you even questioning it?
Blackcat31 05:14 AM 02-09-2016
Originally Posted by Dahlia123:
Hello all, I hope you guys can give me some advice on dealing with a single mom who wants me to watch her child longer than I want to.
I watch her daughter afterschool and am paid by the state. When she started, she would leave at 6:30, which is what I agreed to. The problem is, I become too nice and agree to exceptions too easily. The mother told me she had a month long class in October and would need to pick her up at 8:30, which I agreed to, and she got approval for me to be paid full time (same pay for 5 -10 hrs). Then I agreed to watch her until 8:30 in November so her mother could study (Nursing school). When December came around, and she was still staying until 8:30, and I had had too much, mostly because it was getting in the way of my caring for my family and getting my own kids in bed before 8:30. I spoke with her mother, who was not happy. I told her to pick up her child by 6:30 and I could watch her later 1-2x a week if the clinic where she works had her work late. She complied. Now it's February, she's started a new job, and within the last week, she's asked me to watch her daughter past 7.
She thinks I'm being unreasonable because she's only asking me to watch her 45 extra minutes. Also, she expects that because she made it possible for me to be paid for full time hours, I should take advantage of it by forging the hours (which I won't) and be flexible when she wants me to watch her daughter past the agreed upon times.
I am extra ticked because she doesn't give me her schedule and tells me the day of, that she has to stay late. When her daughter is home from school because of snow, she will sometimes even leave her with me 11 hours.
I have a family and a life. She is the only child I care for. I don't want to be flexible. I want her to be on time. '
What would you do?
That alone would have had me terminating care. Hello all, I hope you guys can give me some advice on dealing with a single mom who wants me to watch her child longer than I want to.
I watch her daughter afterschool and am paid by the state. When she started, she would leave at 6:30, which is what I agreed to. The problem is, I become too nice and agree to exceptions too easily. The mother told me she had a month long class in October and would need to pick her up at 8:30, which I agreed to, and she got approval for me to be paid full time (same pay for 5 -10 hrs). Then I agreed to watch her until 8:30 in November so her mother could study (Nursing school). When December came around, and she was still staying until 8:30, and I had had too much, mostly because it was getting in the way of my caring for my family and getting my own kids in bed before 8:30. I spoke with her mother, who was not happy. I told her to pick up her child by 6:30 and I could watch her later 1-2x a week if the clinic where she works had her work late. She complied. Now it's February, she's started a new job, and within the last week, she's asked me to watch her daughter past 7.
She thinks I'm being unreasonable because she's only asking me to watch her 45 extra minutes. Also, she expects that because she made it possible for me to be paid for full time hours, I should take advantage of it by forging the hours (which I won't) and be flexible when she wants me to watch her daughter past the agreed upon times.
I am extra ticked because she doesn't give me her schedule and tells me the day of, that she has to stay late. When her daughter is home from school because of snow, she will sometimes even leave her with me 11 hours.
I have a family and a life. She is the only child I care for. I don't want to be flexible. I want her to be on time. '
What would you do?
I can't work with people who choose to scam the system and feel it's okay to encourage others to do so.
Who knows what else she is dishonest about.
Play Care 05:22 AM 02-09-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
That alone would have had me terminating care.
I can't work with people who choose to scam the system and feel it's okay to encourage others to do so.
Who knows what else she is dishonest about.
That alone would have had me terminating care.
I can't work with people who choose to scam the system and feel it's okay to encourage others to do so.
Who knows what else she is dishonest about.
A few years ago there was a sting in my area and providers were caught fudging the paper work. They were arrested and charged with fraud. Names in the paper, etc. Reminds me of the line in a movie "I'm not going to jail for you, or anybody!"
thrivingchildcarecom 12:37 PM 02-10-2016
A couple of years ago I had this family and for some reason they didn't get it, telling me that they really thought the extended day fee was sort of unfair since I was only watching their TWO boys 30 to 45 min longer each day past my closing time. Actually stating that "it was only a little more work." As a matter of fact, because of this family I changed the way I talk to parents.
I first "informed" the father that I worked approximately 11 hours each day and that was mostly with the children. That did not include cleaning or paperwork, etc. I also "informed" him that the state has licensed me for certain hours of operation (just like any other business) and that breaking those hours could potentially get me cited or fined or both. Lastly, I asked him if when he went to work each day did he have the expectation of knowing when he would get off work each day. I continued by informing him that the extra 30-45 min each day added over 2.5 hours to my work week. So it wasn't just "a little more work".
Sometimes I have had to make the suggestion to parents that perhaps somewhere else would be a better fit. Don't get me wrong, I hate to loose a good client. But sometimes if they realize that you have the last say-so in what happens at your business, they might just be a little more respectful.
My advice to you is to either enforce the contracted pick-up & drop-off times you had originally or impose extra fees for the extended time. People are just less empathetic nowadays and tend to only see things from their side.
Finally, in the future stop to consider if making an exception is really the best thing to do for you. Nowadays, I stop to consider whether this is likely to be a one-time exception or if this will wind up snowballing into a usual occurrence. That goes for everything, pick-up times, swapping days, and the list goes on. If I do decide to make an exception, which is very rare, I let the parent know what the usual policy is and that I am making a ONE-TIME exception as a courtesy.
I first "informed" the father that I worked approximately 11 hours each day and that was mostly with the children. That did not include cleaning or paperwork, etc. I also "informed" him that the state has licensed me for certain hours of operation (just like any other business) and that breaking those hours could potentially get me cited or fined or both. Lastly, I asked him if when he went to work each day did he have the expectation of knowing when he would get off work each day. I continued by informing him that the extra 30-45 min each day added over 2.5 hours to my work week. So it wasn't just "a little more work".
Sometimes I have had to make the suggestion to parents that perhaps somewhere else would be a better fit. Don't get me wrong, I hate to loose a good client. But sometimes if they realize that you have the last say-so in what happens at your business, they might just be a little more respectful.
My advice to you is to either enforce the contracted pick-up & drop-off times you had originally or impose extra fees for the extended time. People are just less empathetic nowadays and tend to only see things from their side.
Finally, in the future stop to consider if making an exception is really the best thing to do for you. Nowadays, I stop to consider whether this is likely to be a one-time exception or if this will wind up snowballing into a usual occurrence. That goes for everything, pick-up times, swapping days, and the list goes on. If I do decide to make an exception, which is very rare, I let the parent know what the usual policy is and that I am making a ONE-TIME exception as a courtesy.