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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCB Saying He Wants to Kill Himself
Baby Beluga 08:24 AM 03-07-2018
DCB, 4 years, had to sit out today because he was playing rough with a manipulative. Was warned to be gentle - he continued to play rough, so he was excused from the activity. He sat out then said "I want to kill myself."
How in the world do I address this with the parents? Is this normal for a child of his age? This is a first for me. And a bit of a scary one too
How in the world do I address this with the parents? Is this normal for a child of his age? This is a first for me. And a bit of a scary one too
Cat Herder 08:45 AM 03-07-2018
I'd definitely report to parents, immediately. It is a mandatory reporter qualifier in my state (highest risk age 10-18), but not all.
"Suicidal Threats. There are no federal laws that mandate reporting suicidal thoughts or suicide risk. Each state has its own laws with regard to whether reporting is required."
I'd call my CCR&R for a second opinion in a child so young and ask her to join my parent conference. Her training level (PhD) and experience is much higher than my own (wish in one hand) on these issues and she has access to better resources.
"Suicidal Threats. There are no federal laws that mandate reporting suicidal thoughts or suicide risk. Each state has its own laws with regard to whether reporting is required."
I'd call my CCR&R for a second opinion in a child so young and ask her to join my parent conference. Her training level (PhD) and experience is much higher than my own (wish in one hand) on these issues and she has access to better resources.
Cat Herder 08:53 AM 03-07-2018
I ran out of time to edit.
My thinking is that it may not be this young child you help the most, it may be who this young child overhears saying this.
My thinking is that it may not be this young child you help the most, it may be who this young child overhears saying this.
Baby Beluga 09:07 AM 03-07-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I ran out of time to edit.
My thinking is that it may not be this young child you help the most, it may be who this young child overhears saying this.
He had to of heard it from somewhere I ran out of time to edit.
My thinking is that it may not be this young child you help the most, it may be who this young child overhears saying this.
I don't believe a 4 year old just comes up with this on his own.
daycarediva 09:32 AM 03-07-2018
Definitely repeated/learned.
Poor kid.
I once said "Just shoot me already" after a VERY hard day of work to dh. In jest, of course, but my son/5 at the time went to K the following day, missed a spelling word and said that to the teacher.
Got a phone call from the school psychologist and had to agree to have him do 'check in' visits for a couple of months.
Poor kid.
I once said "Just shoot me already" after a VERY hard day of work to dh. In jest, of course, but my son/5 at the time went to K the following day, missed a spelling word and said that to the teacher.
Got a phone call from the school psychologist and had to agree to have him do 'check in' visits for a couple of months.
Ariana 09:35 AM 03-07-2018
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Definitely repeated/learned.
Poor kid.
I once said "Just shoot me already" after a VERY hard day of work to dh. In jest, of course, but my son/5 at the time went to K the following day, missed a spelling word and said that to the teacher.
Got a phone call from the school psychologist and had to agree to have him do 'check in' visits for a couple of months.
Well that sucks Definitely repeated/learned.
Poor kid.
I once said "Just shoot me already" after a VERY hard day of work to dh. In jest, of course, but my son/5 at the time went to K the following day, missed a spelling word and said that to the teacher.
Got a phone call from the school psychologist and had to agree to have him do 'check in' visits for a couple of months.
Instead of swearing I say “stupid” and now everyone says it 
I know this sounds serious but to me he has no clue what he is really saying. Probably heard an adult say it in jest when frustrated.
storybookending 08:55 AM 03-07-2018
This was a big deal the time it happened when I worked school age care. It didn’t happen at my site so I am not all the way sure how it was handled but I recall my director getting involved with the parents as well the the guidance counselor and school psychologist as our SA care was located off site directly in the elementary schools. It needs to be addressed now as threats of this type are taken so seriously when he reaches elementary school (at least in my district) Does the child have older siblings where he may have picked it up from?
Baby Beluga 09:05 AM 03-07-2018
I am drafting an email to the parents now. So far, this is what I have:
Hi parents,
I am sending this email to notify you both of a behavior I witnessed in X today. This morning X and another child were building with pipe builders. X was not being gentle with the manipulative and was warned to be gentle or he would be excused from the activity. X continued to bang the pipe builders so he was temporarily excused from the activity. X respectfully left the activity, however when he went to sit on the rug opposite of the pipe builders, he sat down and said “I want to kill myself.”
This is the first time I have witnessed such behavior from X. Have you heard of or witnessed him saying anything like this before? Overall X has had wonderful days here. His morning arrivals have improved greatly and he is generally a happy and eager child who plays well with the other children; the other children are very excited when X arrives and frequently ask about him when he is not here. Naturally him saying he wanted to harm himself surprised me.
Annnnnnnd, I'm not sure how to close it.
It is a concern of mine that younger kids will pick up on saying this. I have two 2 year olds who are sponges and they pick up on everything the older kids say. But do I address this with the parents now? Or simply notify them of what DCB said and if it is said again address it then.
TBH, I don't think DCB is going to harm himself. At least not here. He is an emotional child who does and says things to his parents (mainly mom) to get attention. This is the child who used to scream and hit his mom at drop off. That has since stopped and his arrivals really have improved. I have a feeling he said this for shock value because he was mad he was removed from an activity.
Yes, this DCB has older siblings, 2. One is 17ish and the other is 14/15 (I believe) and has special needs.
Hi parents,
I am sending this email to notify you both of a behavior I witnessed in X today. This morning X and another child were building with pipe builders. X was not being gentle with the manipulative and was warned to be gentle or he would be excused from the activity. X continued to bang the pipe builders so he was temporarily excused from the activity. X respectfully left the activity, however when he went to sit on the rug opposite of the pipe builders, he sat down and said “I want to kill myself.”
This is the first time I have witnessed such behavior from X. Have you heard of or witnessed him saying anything like this before? Overall X has had wonderful days here. His morning arrivals have improved greatly and he is generally a happy and eager child who plays well with the other children; the other children are very excited when X arrives and frequently ask about him when he is not here. Naturally him saying he wanted to harm himself surprised me.
Annnnnnnd, I'm not sure how to close it.
It is a concern of mine that younger kids will pick up on saying this. I have two 2 year olds who are sponges and they pick up on everything the older kids say. But do I address this with the parents now? Or simply notify them of what DCB said and if it is said again address it then.
TBH, I don't think DCB is going to harm himself. At least not here. He is an emotional child who does and says things to his parents (mainly mom) to get attention. This is the child who used to scream and hit his mom at drop off. That has since stopped and his arrivals really have improved. I have a feeling he said this for shock value because he was mad he was removed from an activity.
Yes, this DCB has older siblings, 2. One is 17ish and the other is 14/15 (I believe) and has special needs.