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  #1  
Old 05-01-2015, 10:37 AM
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Default Would You Term For This?

Child is 16m old. Came to me at 6m. Always slept very little. As an infant like 15-20 min naps. Figured she would grow out of it. Then she would only nap on my chest (I know, my fault, I just needed a rest from her). Then I decided to be a hard ass and let her figure it out on her own, cold turkey. Took about 2 weeks of her laying down and crying it out for a bit and eventually sh would fall asleep. But, it wasn't long (30-45) but then screaming to wake up. Then she would go in spans of it being ok for a week then crappy. Overall, she's a bad napper and disturbs the other kids. I have tried sitting by her which would work but then shed wake when i walk away and scream. Her parents rock her to sleep. NOW she isn't sleeping AT ALL during nap time. She would scream for 2 hours if it were up to her. Would you keep trying things or term? Her parents are aware of it.
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Old 05-01-2015, 10:41 AM
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Child is 16m old. Came to me at 6m. Always slept very little. As an infant like 15-20 min naps. Figured she would grow out of it. Then she would only nap on my chest (I know, my fault, I just needed a rest from her). Then I decided to be a hard ass and let her figure it out on her own, cold turkey. Took about 2 weeks of her laying down and crying it out for a bit and eventually sh would fall asleep. But, it wasn't long (30-45) but then screaming to wake up. Then she would go in spans of it being ok for a week then crappy. Overall, she's a bad napper and disturbs the other kids. I have tried sitting by her which would work but then shed wake when i walk away and scream. Her parents rock her to sleep. NOW she isn't sleeping AT ALL during nap time. She would scream for 2 hours if it were up to her. Would you keep trying things or term? Her parents are aware of it.
I don't think I would have lasted that long.

I have a little guy here now who screams at rest/nap time. I'm hoping that he adjusts soon but if not, his sister ages out in September and he will be going with her. I am interviewing to replace earlier, just in case.
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Old 05-01-2015, 10:53 AM
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I don't know why I let it go on this long. Just figured I would wait it out, figured that surely with age she would get better. Nope.
Then, she's crabby and attached and needy the rest of the afternoon. It's exhausting. I know I shouldn't have gone this long with it.

Help me figure out what to say to the parents. I adore them, they pay perfectly all the time, they're such nice people, but their kid is an ******* (yeah, whatever, I said it.)
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Old 05-01-2015, 11:12 AM
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I have one I have had a couple weeks now. She is a year and I have nap issues with her. I have been making her CIO at nap time and sometimes she screams the whole nap time. Not crying really, more of a tantrum. I will never take another child who co sleeps or gets rocked to sleep with a bottle I swear. I can't/won't do that here, and I am not sure I am going to get her to ever nap without the screaming. I am looking to replace her also. But I also still have open spots.
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Old 05-01-2015, 11:19 AM
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I think I have put up with it just because it was nice having the money. I will do fine without her spot filled for awhile and may or may not replace her. I just know that she's dragging everyone down, me, the other kids, etc. It's got to end. I just should have done it a long time ago.
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Old 05-01-2015, 11:26 AM
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I usually try to imagine what it would be like without the child in question, from all angles. That usually gives me my answer.
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Old 05-01-2015, 11:28 AM
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I usually try to imagine what it would be like without the child in question, from all angles. That usually gives me my answer.
Rainbows and fairly land.
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Old 05-01-2015, 11:39 AM
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Rainbows and fairly land.
Well I guess that's your answer.
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Old 05-01-2015, 11:45 AM
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Yup, just wanted someone else to tell me it was ok I've had guilt about it for too long.
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Old 05-01-2015, 11:51 AM
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Yup, just wanted someone else to tell me it was ok I've had guilt about it for too long.
No need for guilt. If it isn't working, it isn't working that isn't your fault. It is most likely the parent's fault. They don't want to hear crying so they do whatever it takes to stop it and DCB has learned it works.
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Old 05-01-2015, 12:16 PM
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I don't know why I let it go on this long. Just figured I would wait it out, figured that surely with age she would get better. Nope.
Then, she's crabby and attached and needy the rest of the afternoon. It's exhausting. I know I shouldn't have gone this long with it.

Help me figure out what to say to the parents. I adore them, they pay perfectly all the time, they're such nice people, but their kid is an ******* (yeah, whatever, I said it.)
I swear it never fails....the kids that drive us the most crazy have "the" best parents as clients and call me jaded but I almost wholeheartedly believe its because deep down they KNOW their kid is that kid.

I agree with everyone else....not your monkey, not your circus.
I would NOT have made it that far either.
As far as kids go, napping well and being non-violent/aggressive are MUSTS and areas I will not negotiate.
If a child can't do those two things within a reasonable amount of time, I term.

My sanity is worth FAR MORE than any income coming in from tough kids.

As far as terming, just be honest with the parents and tell them you have tried for this long and it is just too difficult to continue.

You are stressing far more than you aren't so it is probably beyond quitting time. I am sure they will be upset/hurt etc but your days will be GLORIOUS so hurting/upsetting a couple parents because of THEIR child should not be a burden you bear.

You will be so much happier.....
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Old 05-01-2015, 01:08 PM
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hhhahhahah love this saying,

" not your monkey, not your circus" LOve It!

I agree, you have to do what works for you and the group as a whole when it comes to everything, not just naps. If any child is a major distraction, disruption or more work than normal, they are not a good fit for you and your program.

I have had to tell parents as much as I really wanted it to work out, it just seems like DCK is not a good fit for our program. I really think dck would be a much better fit in a smaller group or a Nanny. Unfortunately, it is necessary that we part ways. I will really miss all of you, especially dck. The last day that I will be available to provide services will be June 1. I wish you all the best of luck.


If you think that the family would be willing to work with you and get on the wagon, I will have a very serious sit down and let them know that they will be required to make some big changes at home and it's not going to be a cake walk. Tell them what changes will need to be made so that dck can adapt to your program. Be very detailed about it. Tell them, because their child is not able to nap, no one else is either and it's not healthy for anyone in any way when they can't get their much needed naps in.

Write up a good sleep routine and give it to them. Tell them that they have to get her on that routine at home, which will include no rocking to sleep, consistent bed time every night and so on. Tell them that you will give them 2 weeks to help turn this around, other wise, you will have to let them go. It's not personal but it is what is necessary to keep everyone sane and mentally healthy. NO one deserves to have to listen to screaming for that long and every child deserves a peaceful place to take a nap each and every day.

I would have never made it as far as you have made it.

Good luck and hope you are able to work something out....
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Old 05-01-2015, 01:11 PM
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You could try sending the child home after X amount of time screaming at nap. So many times and you're out! I've had parents get on board real quick if I say I'm sending them home if the problem continues.
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Old 05-01-2015, 01:14 PM
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It's not personal but it is what is necessary to keep everyone sane and mentally healthy. NO one deserves to have to listen to screaming for that long and every child deserves a peaceful place to take a nap each and every day.
SO TRUE! It's not just for you as the provider, it's everyone there. Dcp's can't argue with that!
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Old 05-01-2015, 01:18 PM
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You could try sending the child home after X amount of time screaming at nap. So many times and you're out! I've had parents get on board real quick if I say I'm sending them home if the problem continues.
this too...

BC taught me, put it back on the parents..... If they are not getting on board, putting it back on them and calling for pick up will help them figure out just how bad the issues are. If they can't get on board after seeing it with their own two eyes and all of the disruptions to their day, then they will need to leave. Why should you and the dcks always have to be the ones with the disruptions in their day??? You shouldn't, put it back on the parents....

afterall, they created the issue in the first place.....
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Old 05-01-2015, 01:50 PM
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this too...

BC taught me, put it back on the parents..... If they are not getting on board, putting it back on them and calling for pick up will help them figure out just how bad the issues are. If they can't get on board after seeing it with their own two eyes and all of the disruptions to their day, then they will need to leave. Why should you and the dcks always have to be the ones with the disruptions in their day??? You shouldn't, put it back on the parents....

afterall, they created the issue in the first place.....
This is interesting advice.... may have to start my own thread, lol.
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Old 05-01-2015, 02:41 PM
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This is interesting advice.... may have to start my own thread, lol.
when BC gave me this advice, I didn't think that I could follow through and put it back on the parents. one day I had a dck screaming at drop off for over and hour because they wanted to go to the park before dc. the dad had taken him to the park the day before becuase they were having an early day. Well long story short, the next day they were running late and the kid wanted to go to the park, dad says no, dck screams for over an hour. This happened 2 times and I was almost to tears, the other kids were just distrought due to the crying. on the 3rd time I called and said pick up. the parents were not happy at all.

I tell parents you need a consistent morning routine, they say ok. What does dcd do, he caves the next day and stops at the park...Yup screaming again the next day, I called to pick up again. I called for pick up 3 or 4 times and after that the parents finally got it. They are still here....

Last edited by daycare; 05-01-2015 at 02:44 PM.
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