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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What To Do With Mini Linebacker?
Unregistered 06:57 AM 01-12-2012
I have a 20 month old in group ( (8 kids) 14 months-3 years). He is such a rough guy. He loves his friends but pins them down or puts them in a choke hold to hug them. He walks up to his friends and shoves them over for no reason.

Any ideas on how to teach him to be softer with his friends?
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SilverSabre25 07:08 AM 01-12-2012
"That's too rough! We use gentle touches with friends!" and demonstrate an acceptable gentle touch. You could demonstrate by hugging him gently and telling him, "This is a gentle hug. Friends like gentle hugs." You can make it really over-exaggerated--"Oh, what a nice gentle hug. Oh, I like gentle hugs. Gentle hugs are so nice. This is a gentle hug!"

Some of it will be waiting for him to mature a little, but if my 7 mo old can learn "gentle touch" then a 20 mo surely can.
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LittleD 10:26 AM 01-12-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have a 20 month old in group ( (8 kids) 14 months-3 years). He is such a rough guy. He loves his friends but pins them down or puts them in a choke hold to hug them. He walks up to his friends and shoves them over for no reason.

Any ideas on how to teach him to be softer with his friends?
Wow! He's not even 2 and he's putting kids in choke holds? LOL! Does he have an older brother? If the gentle touch approach doesn't work, IMO I'd seriously consider getting him ready to learn the concept of time outs.
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Unregistered 10:53 AM 01-12-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
"That's too rough! We use gentle touches with friends!" and demonstrate an acceptable gentle touch. You could demonstrate by hugging him gently and telling him, "This is a gentle hug. Friends like gentle hugs." You can make it really over-exaggerated--"Oh, what a nice gentle hug. Oh, I like gentle hugs. Gentle hugs are so nice. This is a gentle hug!"

Some of it will be waiting for him to mature a little, but if my 7 mo old can learn "gentle touch" then a 20 mo surely can.
I have been very consistent in doing this for the last month. I have seen NO change at all. I feel like I cheating the other children because he takes so much of my attention.
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Unregistered 11:21 AM 01-12-2012
ok, this is MY son! My son tackles his friends, hip checks them, wrestles them to the ground all the time. None of this is allowed in my house. After about a week of it I sat down with my son and he revealed he was trying to play football with his friends. He genuinely thouhht thats what you do to play football. Check out this kids intentions and then make a plan. We play football outside and only when invited by others. If my own son cant stick to those rules he gets a break from the other kids or plays in the other room alone to prevent any further issues.
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Sunchimes 01:08 PM 01-12-2012
I have a 16 mo girl that does this. Even before she could walk, she was crawling to the other babies and sitting on them. Or she would lean her head on them to "hug" and push until they all collapsed. She is strong--really really strong. It is hard to pry her grip open when she grabs something. By the time she was 12 mo, she would grab them and body slam them to the ground if I wasn't fast enough. I've pretty much stopped the body slam, but she isn't above grabbing their sleeves and dragging them to where ever she wants to go. It isn't meant to be mean, she wants them to play. And when she hugs, they all end up in the floor and someone cries. She just doesn't realize her own strength. I try to keep her away from the others (who are all the same age) unless I'm sitting in the floor with them. If I thought there was malice involved, I would have had a talk with her mom, but she doesn't have any meanness in her.
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greenhouse 01:13 PM 01-12-2012
this is my son-he's a little peanut but his hugs are intense and he's always zooming around bumping into his day care mate who is intensely over sensitive and bursts into tears.
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SilverSabre25 01:15 PM 01-12-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have been very consistent in doing this for the last month. I have seen NO change at all. I feel like I cheating the other children because he takes so much of my attention.
You might have to wait for some maturity and increased language proficiency then.

Could you get a really big stuffed animal and direct him to go hug the teddy to let him get that out of his system.
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Tags:divide and conquer, injury prevention, rough play, safety issues
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