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Old 10-29-2014, 06:08 AM
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deliberateliterate deliberateliterate is offline
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Default I'm getting really tired of getting hit at by my DCG

This has just been escalating for about 6 months now. At first it was directed at my 4yo son. Now he's at school during the day, so it's directed at my other 2yo DCG, and more recently, it's at me.

They are not hard hits, more like smacks. Her first instinct when something doesn't go her way is to raise her hand and smack at whoever is offending her. When someone tries to steal her toy, or someone is in her way, etc. With me, it's when I take a toy or something inappropriate (remote control, cordless phone, someone's shoe, etc) away, or when I stop her from doing something, she gets this really mad look on her face and tries to hit me.

As I said, it's escalating, and I'm at a loss. She use to do it only when I wasn't looking. In fact, she use to glance at me to see if I was looking and if I was, she'd lower her hand. But now she doesn't care if I'm there or not.

She just turned 2 a couple of weeks ago, and is mostly non-verbal and in my non expert opinion, might have some delays. When I tell her not to hit, or to be nice to her friends, she just looks at me blankly, or smiles. And of course now the other 2 yr old picked up on it, and smacks her right back.
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Old 10-29-2014, 06:17 AM
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Originally Posted by deliberateliterate View Post
This has just been escalating for about 6 months now. At first it was directed at my 4yo son. Now he's at school during the day, so it's directed at my other 2yo DCG, and more recently, it's at me.

They are not hard hits, more like smacks. Her first instinct when something doesn't go her way is to raise her hand and smack at whoever is offending her. When someone tries to steal her toy, or someone is in her way, etc. With me, it's when I take a toy or something inappropriate (remote control, cordless phone, someone's shoe, etc) away, or when I stop her from doing something, she gets this really mad look on her face and tries to hit me.

As I said, it's escalating, and I'm at a loss. She use to do it only when I wasn't looking. In fact, she use to glance at me to see if I was looking and if I was, she'd lower her hand. But now she doesn't care if I'm there or not.

She just turned 2 a couple of weeks ago, and is mostly non-verbal and in my non expert opinion, might have some delays. When I tell her not to hit, or to be nice to her friends, she just looks at me blankly, or smiles. And of course now the other 2 yr old picked up on it, and smacks her right back.
At the risk of being slammed, I would take her hand GENTLY BUT FIRMLY and Hold it down (she shouldn't be able to pull her hand free and smack at you) and say very, VERY sternly "NO HITTING!! HITTING HURTS!!" Keep it simple simple, as she is not understanding the "be nice to friends" messages she's been getting.
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Old 10-29-2014, 06:49 AM
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I would immediately move her to a pack and play. Let her know its unacceptable and every time she does it, she will be removed. I guess that's a time out, and she's a little young ... But she's hitting!
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Old 10-29-2014, 07:08 AM
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I would immediately move her to a pack and play. Let her know its unacceptable and every time she does it, she will be removed. I guess that's a time out, and she's a little young ... But she's hitting!
Yes! I haven't had a problem with my kids or DCKs hitting, but when my DD was biting while nursing (she was maybe 9 months at the time), I'd take her off my lap, sit her on the ground and say "no bite, bite hurts." She didn't like her "time out" on the floor and stopped quickly. I'd think it might work in your situation as well, and I think a short time out is appropriate when it comes to hitting.
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Old 10-29-2014, 07:16 AM
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I'd go with catching her hand and "NO HIT!" it a firm voice. By the time you get her to a pnp half way across the room, she'll have forgotten what she did already.
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Old 10-29-2014, 08:05 AM
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Have you talked to her parents? Seems like she has a lot of issues and is probably special needs. It's also common for special needs children, even older ones/even adults, to look for physical solution to things than other routes. I also say this, because most nonspecial needs children would stop hitting once they get hit back.
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Old 10-29-2014, 09:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Play Care View Post
At the risk of being slammed, I would take her hand GENTLY BUT FIRMLY and Hold it down (she shouldn't be able to pull her hand free and smack at you) and say very, VERY sternly "NO HITTING!! HITTING HURTS!!" Keep it simple simple, as she is not understanding the "be nice to friends" messages she's been getting.
I totally agree.

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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Have you talked to her parents? Seems like she has a lot of issues and is probably special needs. It's also common for special needs children, even older ones/even adults, to look for physical solution to things than other routes. I also say this, because most nonspecial needs children would stop hitting once they get hit back.
It's actually pretty common behavior in the 2's crowd, especially when they're limited verbally.
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Old 11-01-2014, 06:01 PM
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It's actually pretty common behavior in the 2's crowd, especially when they're limited verbally.[/quote]

Exactly. When my 2 year olds were going through a hitting phase, I did a time out either in a chair or in the pnp. They then had to say sorry to whomever they hurt. They didn't like it at first but after a few weeks they have stopped the hitting.
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Old 11-01-2014, 07:50 PM
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There are a series of book we use at my center. Hands are Not for Hitting, and other similar titles. It does help a little, as the stories say things like " when I'm angry and want to hit my friend, I can bang on a drum instead. " Simple messages like that. I think the 2 year old class reads them at circle time.
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Old 11-02-2014, 06:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
I'd go with catching her hand and "NO HIT!" it a firm voice. By the time you get her to a pnp half way across the room, she'll have forgotten what she did already.
I have to disagree with this, when I work with the two year olds I find when I make them sit for doing something they can tell me afterwards why they had to sit. When it is time to get up I always ask what did you do to your friend and they will answer hit him, and then I say it's not nice to hit you hurt dcb now go tell him you are sorry. They will then go over and say sorry and give a hug.
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Old 11-02-2014, 08:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Play Care View Post
At the risk of being slammed, I would take her hand GENTLY BUT FIRMLY and Hold it down (she shouldn't be able to pull her hand free and smack at you) and say very, VERY sternly "NO HITTING!! HITTING HURTS!!" Keep it simple simple, as she is not understanding the "be nice to friends" messages she's been getting.
This is what I would do as well .... for the reason Heidi stated...

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Originally Posted by racemom View Post
I have to disagree with this, when I work with the two year olds I find when I make them sit for doing something they can tell me afterwards why they had to sit. When it is time to get up I always ask what did you do to your friend and they will answer hit him, and then I say it's not nice to hit you hurt dcb now go tell him you are sorry. They will then go over and say sorry and give a hug.
I agree with what you are saying in regards to 2 yr olds being able to reflect about the situation after time out but in instances of aggression or hitting (especially towards an adult) I think immediate reaction is much more effective and beneficial whereas the method you mentioned works great for poor choices and negative behaviors that werent necessarily impulsive and are felated to ideas/rules the child already understands.

I'd be unsure she was comprehending why she is in time out in the first place if she is yet to grasp the concept that hitting an adult is unacceptable. Kwim?

Just my two cents.
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