Daycare.com Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-30-2017, 05:52 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default My 4 Year Old Is Hurting Other DCKs And Babies....

This child does things like pushing babies that are just learning to stand, holding on others' arms and pressing hard using fingers, dragging kids around by the hand.... nothing is working that we've tried and this child has severely injured others through pushing....
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-30-2017, 07:27 AM
bklsmum's Avatar
bklsmum bklsmum is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 550
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
This child does things like pushing babies that are just learning to stand, holding on others' arms and pressing hard using fingers, dragging kids around by the hand.... nothing is working that we've tried and this child has severely injured others through pushing....
If the child is a danger then they can't be around other kids in any way that would allow them to hurt other kids. I would term.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-30-2017, 07:44 AM
Pestle's Avatar
Pestle Pestle is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,251
Default

This is your own child? This is unfortunate.

So you have a preschooler of your own inside your family day care with infants?

Did you just open your day care? There's probably a lot of jealousy going on.

I have a strict "Nobody touches the babies but me" rule. NO EXCEPTIONS. Doesn't matter if it's gentle touches or not. Anybody who touches the babies has to go sit in the quiet corner.

The day care area is gated off from the living room, and I allow my 4yo to come and go. If she gets too wild or I'm worried she's getting angry, she HAS to go. She can play quietly in the living room or go to her own room. I don't force her to participate in the day care program.

If your child isn't trustworthy or obedient enough to go play elsewhere, then unfortunately I don't see any way to keep your day care open with babies in it. You can't provide safe care for other people's children so you shouldn't take the children in, knowing that they're in danger of injury.

If your child is able to play separately, you may find that they outgrow this jealous, rough stage and can gradually be re-introduced to the day care. You might also consider switching to preschool-only care--kids those age are hard to come by and you can't charge as much, but at least you could keep making money from home, if your child has better behavior around peers.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-30-2017, 07:51 AM
Pestle's Avatar
Pestle Pestle is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,251
Default

Another thought: Maybe you have a family member or friend who can come over and provide care for your child during day care hours for a few days or weeks, acting as an assistant assigned just to your child, to see if that kind of close attention helps change the behavior.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-30-2017, 11:12 AM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is online now
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 6,610
Default

"Severely injured others through pushing" and "nothing is working" means this child needs to be completely seperated from the group either through termination or physically being barred off from the rest of the group.

Other children deserve to be kept safe in your home. They did not ask to be terrorized by this child and it can do great psychological damage.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-30-2017, 11:24 AM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 11,201
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pestle View Post
This is your own child? This is unfortunate.

So you have a preschooler of your own inside your family day care with infants?

Did you just open your day care? There's probably a lot of jealousy going on.

I have a strict "Nobody touches the babies but me" rule. NO EXCEPTIONS. Doesn't matter if it's gentle touches or not. Anybody who touches the babies has to go sit in the quiet corner.

The day care area is gated off from the living room, and I allow my 4yo to come and go. If she gets too wild or I'm worried she's getting angry, she HAS to go. She can play quietly in the living room or go to her own room. I don't force her to participate in the day care program.

If your child isn't trustworthy or obedient enough to go play elsewhere, then unfortunately I don't see any way to keep your day care open with babies in it. You can't provide safe care for other people's children so you shouldn't take the children in, knowing that they're in danger of injury.

If your child is able to play separately, you may find that they outgrow this jealous, rough stage and can gradually be re-introduced to the day care. You might also consider switching to preschool-only care--kids those age are hard to come by and you can't charge as much, but at least you could keep making money from home, if your child has better behavior around peers.

I agree with this. Your child is TELLING you he cannot handle this. Either keep him separated, or quit caring for other children. It wouldn't take much to seriously injure an infant.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-30-2017, 11:44 AM
Laurie's Avatar
Laurie Laurie is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: California
Posts: 95
Default

"child has severely injured others through pushing"

Firstly, I'm confused about the child. Is this your child or a child in your daycare?

If it's a daycare child, I wouldn't allow the child to be in daycare. Any child harming others after trying to stop the behavior is terminated.

If it's your child, maybe think about putting them into pre-school. A 4yr old needs more stimulation than a daycare fullwith children younger than them. Or... keep them separated as stated above so they have no contact with the other children.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-30-2017, 12:55 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It's my own child. I never thought about having him separate from the daycare kids. He can't go to preschool yet because he's not potty trained. Been trying for like a year with little success or interest. Think he also has ADD/ADHD.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-30-2017, 01:06 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Also we live in a new house (1year) new baby sibling (6 months) and opened my biz 4 months ago...
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-30-2017, 01:17 PM
Pestle's Avatar
Pestle Pestle is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,251
Default

It sounds like he has a LOT of stressors going on right now:

-New sibling
-Other kids in his house, taking his parent's attention and using the stuff and space he thinks of as "his"
-Changed schedule due to the day care
-New house
-Undiagnosed executive function disorder or learning disability without early intervention
-A missed window of sensitivity for potty training (if he's four now and you started a year ago, then you probably started too late for him to easily transition in--kids are ready at very different ages, some as early as just past a year old)

You may have limited resources as far as money, time, family support, and state programs go. However, your son needs intervention. He has nobody else looking out for him, and each delay will make his potential disability more difficult to cope with, while you work to provide for your family through the day care. You're busy right now learning how to care for infants, but your son needs you to learn how to best care for him. It's a challenging situation for all of you.

Please get in touch with a local gov't agency that can help you identify programs your son qualifies for--you may be able to get help with testing and a diagnosis, or find a preschool that will take him. Some care providers find they have to put their own kids in care for everybody's health and sanity.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 05-30-2017, 02:28 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

We got a psych eval referral from the pediatrician. Time to call them....
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-30-2017, 05:24 PM
Pestle's Avatar
Pestle Pestle is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,251
Default

That's great!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 05-31-2017, 12:23 PM
EntropyControlSpecialist's Avatar
EntropyControlSpecialist EntropyControlSpecialist is offline
Embracing the chaos.
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: A toasty environment!
Posts: 7,430
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
It's my own child. I never thought about having him separate from the daycare kids. He can't go to preschool yet because he's not potty trained. Been trying for like a year with little success or interest. Think he also has ADD/ADHD.
I would get him evaluated by the local school district. He might qualify for free, special education preschool.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 06-01-2017, 07:28 AM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 11,201
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pestle View Post
It sounds like he has a LOT of stressors going on right now:

-New sibling
-Other kids in his house, taking his parent's attention and using the stuff and space he thinks of as "his"
-Changed schedule due to the day care
-New house
-Undiagnosed executive function disorder or learning disability without early intervention
-A missed window of sensitivity for potty training (if he's four now and you started a year ago, then you probably started too late for him to easily transition in--kids are ready at very different ages, some as early as just past a year old)

You may have limited resources as far as money, time, family support, and state programs go. However, your son needs intervention. He has nobody else looking out for him, and each delay will make his potential disability more difficult to cope with, while you work to provide for your family through the day care. You're busy right now learning how to care for infants, but your son needs you to learn how to best care for him. It's a challenging situation for all of you.

Please get in touch with a local gov't agency that can help you identify programs your son qualifies for--you may be able to get help with testing and a diagnosis, or find a preschool that will take him. Some care providers find they have to put their own kids in care for everybody's health and sanity.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist View Post
I would get him evaluated by the local school district. He might qualify for free, special education preschool.
ITA with all of this!
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 06-01-2017, 08:40 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

He's enrolled in a free special ed pre-k program but it's only during the school year and is only 3 days a week :/
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
providers own child, violence in child care

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Walking with DCKs mamamanda Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 8 07-24-2015 10:23 AM
Rules for Babies mamamanda Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 10 04-15-2015 07:51 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:59 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming