Ok, im sure some of you will be able to figure out who I am because Im a regular, but,.. not sure if this parents reads this forum so please shhhhhh. =-)

I have a parent who returned a survey for an important event. They didnt seal it good, and the flap came up. I had the envelope upside down on my desk. I was cleaning my desk, saw an open envelope and popped out the page. I really didnt mean to. I folded it up and popped it back in, but in doing so a flash of text caught my eye. "I wish she told us what she was doing with our children"

I didnt read further, popped it in, sealed it, and put it away.

now, I have a daycare fb page, I send monthly newsletters, I send pictures and texts through the day, my entry has schedules, photos, projects that we have done, examples of their masterpieces. I have a digital photo frame that has pics from our days on it. This is a mom I see maybe 3 times a month as her sister, brother in law pick up and hubby drops off. what more can I do?? this is an important evaluation. Im both hurt and confused.

I cant confront her because she did attempt to seal the envelope, it just didnt seal right. However, I dont know what more she wants.

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oh and Ive had her for 4 1/2 years, two children, first has aged out. second is 2 years 1 month

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So if you don't see her much then it's possible that whoever is receiving these newsletters and such aren't making it into the hands of the mom. I understand that confronting her isn't an option, but maybe when you see her, just casually mention, "hey I don't get to see you that much. Are you receiving what I send home with your child?"

If you aren't comfortable with that, then start a daily note. I know a lot of parents just toss it aside but you could always send one home with this family.

I wouldn't worry too much about the evaluation reaching the "powers that be". I'm sure if they asked they would see how much you do for the parents communication-wise.

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Wow...great self control in not reading the rest! I'm proud of you!
Is this a survey that you will eventually get the results of anonymously? Is it to help you with your daycare? If so I'd wait and see what the actual "results" are and deal with them then.
Otherwise just try to keep her as updated as possible verbally when you see her and not worry about it anymore. She must be happy enough with your care to have stayed so long

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I think its pretty safe to say that her possible complaints would hold less water seeing as how she has sent her children there for almost 5 years with nothing like this addressed directly to you and the fact that she does not have regular face time with you. It sounds like you provide a lot to your parents (probably more than the average provider) and its up to her to utilize that or not. I bet she is just feeling guilty that she has so little time with the kids period and is unaware of what they do all day because other people are always taking care of them. Now that you know the possible complaint then just be prepared with a detailed list or explanation of what you do provide so if the complaint is ever addressed, you are prepared to defend yourself. You might type of a list of what is offered as a reminder and put that in your newsletter if there are possibly other parents that are not aware of everything you do (and make sure this mom gets a copy!). If this mom never comes to the daycare and does not check the daycare web pages than of course she doesn't know what is going on.....that doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong though.

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I had all the parents have to do it for my accreditation. I told them per my accrediation lady " you can either seal them in this envelope, or not seal them if there is something you want me to see"

All but one came to me UNsealed and I went crazy thinking why did she seal it! LOL. Good for you for not reading it, I may have just. other then that just do what you have been doing UNLESS you think that you should be telling the parents more.

I personally do not tell the parents step by step what their child did. I will tell if the child did something new, or if they did something funny, or some little tidbit at pick up. Other then that I have a broad schedule, and a website. They can ask questions if they want to know more, and since I dont hear questions, I think that I do enough... same for you!

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thats just the thing, I KNOW she gets these things, We text back and forth talking about them. She responds to my pics, she mentions things in my newsletter, she posts on my fb page. I just am at a loss,... is she expecting a monthly grade card report for a child who turned 2 in july, ?? Is she wanting a dailey hourly breakdown of what we do?

child is not interested in potty training, doesnt eat our food so I cant report on her likes/dislikes of that. I send her pics daily, tell her what she particularily likes or dislikes activity wise, I share song lyrics, playdough recipies, I just am lost.

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Just an idea: I did my own parent survey, using www.surveymonkey.com. Then, after I got the results, which were anonymous, I addressed any complaints or concerns as an e-mail to the entire group. I had a parent say they wished I had a fenced in area for the kids to play in! I DO!!! - had to in order to be licensed!
That allowed me to tell MY side of things! It sounds like she is grasping at straws here! But, I'm like you. I have a Facebook just for daycare parents, a website, send texts, pictures, e-mails all the time, and send out written daily reports and STILL had parents complain about communication. Sometimes you just have to know you're doing all you can do and let it roll off your back!!

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Don't forget, just because a parent complains does not mean that the complaint is legitimate!

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I wouldn't allow my dc parents to be surveyed. I wouldn't willingly host that.

I'm not interested in having outside agencies evaluate my babysitting.

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I can see how this would bother you but in reality it only bothers you because you now know this information. I know you can't un-see it, but imagine all the things that are said about you or thought about you that you don't know about.~(good and bad).

Personally, I would simply be secure in the fact that you do all you can do now in that regard (and other areas I am sure) and if this mom hasn't come directly to you or anyone above you with direct concerns or comments, I would let it go.

IME, people write things on surveys and on blank spaces to simply fill the void. KWIM?

I would leave it alone, stop letting it get under your skin and do the best you can everyday and be proud of that.

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In my state we have a rating system and one requirement of getting a higher rating is to survey parents every other year. Also, for certain accreditations like the CDA, you have to do parent surveys. I think it can be a good tool to find out what you are doing well, what you need to work on, and what issues you may need to address.The survey I did was not done by an outside agency, I just used a website that allowed me to create the survey and have results sent back to me anonymously.

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Do you think she put it in there only half sealed so you could "look and peek", kind of hoping you would look?

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Is there any way that envelope could suddenly "disappear?"

Just kidding.

Kind of.

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Since you didn't read the whole form, you don't know that she may have said a lot of positive things, too.

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I agree with this 100%, if there is a problem I want the parent to address it to me not in a survey, I like to have open communication.

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one of the reasons why I have no plans to be licensed. I know I am not perfect but I manage to stay full and turn away other families so I must be doing something right. Thats good enough for me. Why would I want the parents to be thinking about the kind of questions that are on a survey. sounds like unnecessarily rocking the boat.

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YIKES! In our state not being licensed is illegal!! Even if you are just watching one child on a regular basis (more than 15 hours a week.) We don't have a choice!

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I wouldn't want to participate in that.

There is a liklihood that what parents believe a provider should be working on is actually excellent individual child care and what is best for the group. When you work for clients that have only been parents for a few months or a few years.. IMHO.. it would be hard if not impossible for them to evaluate your work other than from their limited experience with one child or a few children.

To properly evaluate a group child care you really need experience of caring for a group of non related multi level aged group kids and have knowledge of normal growth and develpment. Also, a knowledge base of regulations and the intent behind regulations is necessary.

The average dcp just doesn't have the core elements of knowledge and experience to properly evaluate a child care provider.

No offense to parents. They don't come to the table with experience for the most part. They have to learn the role of their child in a group just like they have to learn about every other aspect of raising their child. That takes TIME.

The OP's situation is a really a perfect example of a provider offering a very high end. time consuming.. detailed communication with parents and the parent viewing it as being insufficient. Exactly what I'm referring to.

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In my state you don't need to be licensed (Ohio). And I am sure there are many more. Not being licensed is not a sin!

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1st of all HUGE Kudos to you for not reading it!! I think I would have being it was already out in the open.

2nd You should be secure in the fact that you know you do so much already! I too do a lot and have found that some parents will never be 100% happy. You provide a FB page I don't even do that! I do send pics and video and print pics for the parents as well as updates and pics in my monthly newsletter. 1 DCM complains because I don't text enough pics to her. She gets at least 1 a day and that's not enough? Then I feel she needs to hire a photographer as he provider. I cut back to a few pics per week after her repeated requests then demands of pics sent to her phone to share with her friends and family.

I think you are doing a great job and my only advise to you at this point is keep up the good work!! Oh and for the record I have no clue who you are so secret safe with me!

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I've been thinking about this and I wonder if she was referring to something specific rather than the daily activities in general. Like maybe w/ regard to naps, or trips to the park, or something along the lines of the Christian Daycare thread (praying/not praying, or whatever). Even something as simple as encouraging kids to clean up, put on their own shoes, etc could get someone's panties in a twist.

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No, definitely not a sin and I'm sure there are lots of great unlicensed providers out there. However, there are also some awful ones. We've all heard the stories of abuse in child care homes. Licensing is a system of checks and balances - to ensure EVERY kid is taken care of. I don't mind it at all! The ratings system in our state is to let parents know which centers/homes are ahdering to higher quality standards like: daily schedules, lesson plans, and certain envorinmental attributes, to name a few. Anyone can SAY they do all those things.

Like I said, plenty of unlicensed providers are awesome! But, this is the law in my state so I don't have a choice and I don't mind at all being checked up on! I appreciate it, actually!

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I don't mind it at all! I'm providing a service to parents and I appreciate seeing things from their point of view - because their point of view is VERY different from our's! It gave me a chance to explain some things that they didn't understand, but that I otherwise would have never known they had misconceptions about! It also allows them to address things they feel uncomfortable addressing in person. They aren't evaluating my program by child development standards. I'm very well versed in that area, and I know where my program stands! But, my families are very important to me and I really enjoyed the surveys! The majority of the responses were incredibly positive and uplifting!

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Thanks everyone for the responses. No it's not a requirement for my license but it is required for a particular program I'm doing. They are required premade surveys and while they are needed, the program is not a condition of my license. I've decided to move past the answer. I figure if what I'm doing isn't enough then she needs a nanny with a camera.

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