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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Child "Forgot" How To Write Name
Unregistered 01:47 PM 07-30-2013
Today at drop off, mom asks me: "don't you work with them on writing?" Huh? XXXXXX forgot how to write his name over the summer-you need to work with him on that before preschool starts (in 2 weeks). REALLY?????!!!!!

I don't run a preschool. I don't teach kids how to read and write. We work on numbers, shapes, colors, letters, but NEVER sit at a table to learn, we learn while doing.

If your child MUST learn to write his or her name, then YOU teach them how. I am not going to sit down for some one-on-one time with your kid who thinks his name is qqqnew. He didn't forget how to write it, he never knew how. He can not spell, he can not write. And that is OK-he is TOO YOUNG. If a 3 year old CAN write his name, great. If he can't, it's NOT a big deal. It's not something I am going to worry about for $3 an hour.

Is it just me? Is Mom asking for too much, or SHOULD I be doing this? I make it clear that I believe that kids are pushed too hard these days in my interviews. I firmly believe that formal learning has no place in preschoolers' lives. I believe in learning through play. Nature walks to learn about the outdoors, cooking to learn about directions and numbers and measuring, etc. But I don't want to sit a bunch of preschoolers around a table for lessons, I believe in letting them be kids.

What would you do? What DO you do?
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SilverSabre25 02:00 PM 07-30-2013
I'm betting, just from your post, that if parents know you do numbers, letters, colors, etc, then they probably assume that writing goes along with it.

I think if you're doing the rest of it, then it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to work a bit on writing. You can do it in really authentic ways--write their name for them on their art papers, have laminated pictures of the kids and laminated name cards as a matching game, etc. If you do any kind of a group time/circle time, add in a daily writing worksheet. There are lots available for free on the internet. Print and laminate sheets that have the "pre writing" tracing-type lines. Have magna doodles around, etc.

How else are they going to learn writing, than by DOING it?
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Angelsj 02:16 PM 07-30-2013
I agree with you Sabre, and we do such things, on an informal basis, but I get where the OP is coming from as well.
Seriously?? If you, AS A PARENT, have identified a problem, fix it!!!

Stop abdicating your job to me. I get so fed up with that attitude. I am thrilled to support the learning your child gets from YOU (parents), but I am not ultimately responsible for that child's education or their life...you are.
Parents are too quick to give over every aspect of their child's life to me, then to the school. Drives me crazy!
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Heidi 02:16 PM 07-30-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I'm betting, just from your post, that if parents know you do numbers, letters, colors, etc, then they probably assume that writing goes along with it.

I think if you're doing the rest of it, then it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to work a bit on writing. You can do it in really authentic ways--write their name for them on their art papers, have laminated pictures of the kids and laminated name cards as a matching game, etc. If you do any kind of a group time/circle time, add in a daily writing worksheet. There are lots available for free on the internet. Print and laminate sheets that have the "pre writing" tracing-type lines. Have magna doodles around, etc.

How else are they going to learn writing, than by DOING it?
I agree to a point (gosh, and you didn't even ask...lol).

But I get what OP is saying, too. DCK is 3. He doesn't need to know how to write his name yet. I have the kids names on their cubbies, and I often spell their name aloud and write it on their artwork, but that's quite enough. At 3, it's all gobbeldy-gook to most kids, and I have other priorities for them.

Now, if I had all 3 and 4's, I'd probably take a more teacher-led approach with the 4's, and the younger ones might get some ******t information.
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Unregistered 02:43 PM 07-30-2013
If he is starting preschool in a few weeks, would preschool not be the place for him to be brushing up on his writing skills. It's the summer. Even school agers have the summer off to be kids.
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Heidi 02:44 PM 07-30-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
If he is starting preschool in a few weeks, would preschool not be the place for him to be brushing up on his writing skills. It's the summer. Even school agers have the summer off to be kids.

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nannyde 02:48 PM 07-30-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Today at drop off, mom asks me: "don't you work with them on writing?" Huh? XXXXXX forgot how to write his name over the summer-you need to work with him on that before preschool starts (in 2 weeks). REALLY?????!!!!!

I don't run a preschool. I don't teach kids how to read and write. We work on numbers, shapes, colors, letters, but NEVER sit at a table to learn, we learn while doing.

If your child MUST learn to write his or her name, then YOU teach them how. I am not going to sit down for some one-on-one time with your kid who thinks his name is qqqnew. He didn't forget how to write it, he never knew how. He can not spell, he can not write. And that is OK-he is TOO YOUNG. If a 3 year old CAN write his name, great. If he can't, it's NOT a big deal. It's not something I am going to worry about for $3 an hour.

Is it just me? Is Mom asking for too much, or SHOULD I be doing this? I make it clear that I believe that kids are pushed too hard these days in my interviews. I firmly believe that formal learning has no place in preschoolers' lives. I believe in learning through play. Nature walks to learn about the outdoors, cooking to learn about directions and numbers and measuring, etc. But I don't want to sit a bunch of preschoolers around a table for lessons, I believe in letting them be kids.

What would you do? What DO you do?
just repeat what said back. Tell her he forgot and he's trying really hard. He can't do it but he's trying. The TRYING is all you need to do. Put a paper and pencil in front of him so he can TRY. Then let her know he tried.
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Familycare71 03:07 PM 07-30-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
just repeat what said back. Tell her he forgot and he's trying really hard. He can't do it but he's trying. The TRYING is all you need to do. Put a paper and pencil in front of him so he can TRY. Then let her know he tried.
Genius!!!
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nanglgrl 03:13 PM 07-30-2013
Any time you give him paper and a crayon he's practicing writing by tuning his fine motor skills. I'm sure you do art, lace things and other fine motor activities so just tell mom you're working with getting him ready to write his name. I have quite a few friend who work as kindergarten or preschool teachers and one thing all of them has told me is that they don't care if a child knows how to write their name, say the abc's, count etc. Every one of them has told me that they would rather the child can follow instruction, take off their own coats, put on their own boots etc. They've all said that to many children they see are learning things out of order and its making it harder for them and their students.
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Unregistered 03:31 PM 07-30-2013
Every one of you makes a point. I try VERY hard to make parents understand that I do not believe in "no book learnin' for young 'uns"

I want these kids to experience the wonder of their surroundings and learn as we do things-picking up leaves at the park, identifying colors on walks, counting the ducklings at the zoo, stuff like that. We even talk about the body and how it makes POOP...they ARE getting educated, just about things they WANT to know about...we let their natural curiosity guide what we learn about. I just think that kids get pushed too hard at too young of an age and I just won't do it at my house.

Maybe I did not do a good enough job of letting Mom know that I am not about a 3 year old reading at a 7th grade level. Not even about a 3 year old writing his name. Heck, I wouldn't send my OWN 3 year old to preschool.

I do work really hard to teach these kids self-care skills, manners and etiquette, and general social skills. We grocery shop for the daycare together, and kids learn about what goes into a recipe. I believe that I am preparing them for life and for school, but I don't want to put pressure on them to learn things they just don't need to know yet.

I will consider maybe a little more "learning" when we're at the table coloring or drawing, and I think I will have to talk with mom again about what I'm willing to do.

I think I was just very offended at the accusatory tone from Mom, and her just assuming that it was my job to do this, when I felt that it was clear that it was not my intention. I'm really getting burned out on parents trying to push ALL of their responsibilities on me. Really, don't parents see the joy in teaching your own child how to do these things? It's why I decided to quit my job and stay home-I WANTED to be the one to potty train, teach ABC's, etc.
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daycare 03:40 PM 07-30-2013
ahh if were in two weeks then I would just humor mom by printing out a few trace your name sheets, give it to him and said hey look he's writing. Even give her a few to take home.

Ugh......... Why is it our job to do everything. She has a computer with internet I am sure....She can also print stuff out..

Maybe you should say oh susie you can just print out some tracing sheets on line, I bet he would love that......
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Familycare71 04:42 PM 07-30-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Every one of you makes a point. I try VERY hard to make parents understand that I do not believe in "no book learnin' for young 'uns" gggvy

I want these kids to experience the wonder of their surroundings and learn as we do things-picking up leaves at the park, identifying colors on walks, counting the ducklings at the zoo, stuff like that. We even talk about the body and how it makes POOP...they ARE getting educated, just about things they WANT to know about...we let their natural curiosity guide what we learn about. I just think that kids get pushed too hard at too young of an age and I just won't do it at my house.

Maybe I did not do a good enough job of letting Mom know that I am not about a 3 year old reading at a 7th grade level. Not even about a 3 year old writing his name. Heck, I wouldn't send my OWN 3 year old to preschool.

I do work really hard to teach these kids self-care skills, manners and etiquette, and general social skills. We grocery shop for the daycare together, and kids learn about what goes into a recipe. I believe that I am preparing them for life and for school, but I don't want to put pressure on them to learn things they just don't need to know yet.

I will consider maybe a little more "learning" when we're at the table coloring or drawing, and I think I will have to talk with mom again about what I'm willing to do.
Why
I think I was just very offended at the accusatory tone from Mom, and her just assuming that it was my job to do this, when I felt that it was clear that it was not my intention. I'm really getting burned out on parents trying to push ALL of their responsibilities on me. Really, don't parents see the joy in teaching your own child how to do these things? It's why I decided to quit my job and stay home-I WANTED to be the one to potty train, teach ABC's, etc.
I agree 100%!!! I do NOT try to teach letter, ghnumbers, etc outside of play before 4... And I do some work sheets and pre-school stuff then because I feel I have to in order to be competitive... I want to let kids be kids and learn like kids!!
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Unregistered 04:46 PM 07-30-2013
Originally Posted by familycare71:
i agree 100%!!! I do not try to teach letter, ghnumbers, etc outside of play before 4... And i do some work sheets and pre-school stuff then because i feel i have to in order to be competitive... I want to let kids be kids and learn like kids!!

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clep 04:49 PM 07-30-2013
I do teach children through preschool workbooks how to write and do phonics. I find it to be an added aspect to my program that children love and parents appreciate. I am not big on formal learning, so if a child wants to, great....if not that's cool too. I find that most do want to as they want to be like the older children who they see go to school.

I would not take kindly to a parent telling me it is my job to teach their child how to write. I would probably let the parent know that I do not provide formal education during the summer months, but if they want to, I would be happy to provide the resources for them to do so.
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SilverSabre25 05:04 PM 07-30-2013
I do see where you're coming from OP I missed that he was 3. Yeah, totally wouldn't be fussed about a 3 yo not writing. Id' probably have said to mom, "He didn't forget...he hasn't learned yet! That's a skill they learn closer to 4!" (Which doesn't have to be accurate, it just appeases her for now).

BUT, for going forward and for the older kids, my other ideas about intro-ing writing gently still stands. You can do it alongside the "learn by doing" that you do
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