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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Are You a Hugger?
Baby Beluga 12:06 PM 02-12-2016
Curious - how often (if at all) do you hug your daycare children?
KSDC 12:16 PM 02-12-2016
I get hugs all day long. One of the favorite parts of my job!
Jack Sprat 12:16 PM 02-12-2016
A lot! Some more then others because they are huggers as well. I have two that I hug and kiss on the cheek everyday at pick up.
childcaremom 12:18 PM 02-12-2016
I get hugs all day, too. 
Ariana 12:24 PM 02-12-2016
I reserve hugs for my own kids for the most part. If a child wants a hug of course I will give it and I will usually hug goodbye if they want one or ask them if they want one when they get hurt. I am not a huge hugger!
Rockgirl 12:34 PM 02-12-2016
I get lots, too! These kids are here 9-10 hrs per day--they need hugs. 
When one randomly hugs me I usually say, "Thank you--how did you know I needed a hug?" They love it.
When one randomly hugs me I usually say, "Thank you--how did you know I needed a hug?" They love it.
Indoorvoice 12:39 PM 02-12-2016
I'm not a huge hugger and my daycare kids don't seem to be either. I'll give hugs if they need them, but it never occurs to me to hug.
knoxmomof2 01:12 PM 02-12-2016
It's a routine part of my interactions with them throughout the day. I always hug/ kiss after diaper changes and after they're cleaned up from a meal (as I'm checking them over). Otherwise it's just as it feels right or is requested. I'm not crazy diligent about it or anything, but I try to have those warm interactions as it fits into our day.
Thriftylady 01:14 PM 02-12-2016
I am a hugger, but I let the kids leave it. If they want hugs I am happy to give them. Others seem not to care about them or maybe not want them, so I don't hug them.
lovemydaycare0912 01:19 PM 02-12-2016
I love hugs alllll day long. My kids are 13m to just over 2 years and they love hugs. They hug their friends too.
Blackcat31 01:23 PM 02-12-2016
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I'm not a huge hugger and my daycare kids don't seem to be either. I'll give hugs if they need them, but it never occurs to me to hug.
I'm not a huge hugger and my daycare kids don't seem to be either. I'll give hugs if they need them, but it never occurs to me to hug.
same here. I am NOT a touchy-feely person by nature and have to make a conscious effort to hug sometimes.
If my DCK's want one, I have zero issues providing one but its not something I just naturally do.
If someone makes a movement towards me when greeting me (to hug me, touch my shoulder etc), my natural instinct is to back away.
nannyde 01:59 PM 02-12-2016
Big hugger here. 
laundrymom 02:11 PM 02-12-2016
I'm a hugger. Always. It's just who I am.
Hunni Bee 02:19 PM 02-12-2016
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I'm not a huge hugger and my daycare kids don't seem to be either. I'll give hugs if they need them, but it never occurs to me to hug.
Same here. I get hugs from some at the end of the day.I'm not a huge hugger and my daycare kids don't seem to be either. I'll give hugs if they need them, but it never occurs to me to hug.
Josiegirl 02:44 PM 02-12-2016
Depends on the day.
I'm almost afraid to kneel down cause I become a human jungle gym.
This afternoon I had 3 kids sitting on my lap as I was reading stories and the precocious 2 1/2 yo grabs my toes right where she knows it drives me crazy. I was trapped.
But yeh, between hugs, patting their shoulders or arms to get a message through, patting their backs, chasing them around the house on my hands and knees(which is getting dang hard)to catch them and hear them giggle, there's lots of physical contact, not only hugs.
I'm almost afraid to kneel down cause I become a human jungle gym.
This afternoon I had 3 kids sitting on my lap as I was reading stories and the precocious 2 1/2 yo grabs my toes right where she knows it drives me crazy. I was trapped.
But yeh, between hugs, patting their shoulders or arms to get a message through, patting their backs, chasing them around the house on my hands and knees(which is getting dang hard)to catch them and hear them giggle, there's lots of physical contact, not only hugs.
LysesKids 03:06 PM 02-12-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Depends on the day.
I'm almost afraid to kneel down cause I become a human jungle gym.
This afternoon I had 3 kids sitting on my lap as I was reading stories and the precocious 2 1/2 yo grabs my toes right where she knows it drives me crazy. I was trapped.
But yeh, between hugs, patting their shoulders or arms to get a message through, patting their backs, chasing them around the house on my hands and knees(which is getting dang hard)to catch them and hear them giggle, there's lots of physical contact, not only hugs.
I am always a human jungle gym because all mine are little (all under 24 months)... once they learn to crawl they are all over me once I hit the floor lol. I love their cuddles, but the fact they hug each other, that's just so cool to see when that happens. Lately due to parent illness & moms trying not to infect babies, I'm the official hugger/super cuddler this week. I had one mom tell me "little man" has started being a super snuggler & could I step in so she didn't give him her illness. She felt so bad her 9 month old wasn't getting mom attentionDepends on the day.
I'm almost afraid to kneel down cause I become a human jungle gym.
This afternoon I had 3 kids sitting on my lap as I was reading stories and the precocious 2 1/2 yo grabs my toes right where she knows it drives me crazy. I was trapped.
But yeh, between hugs, patting their shoulders or arms to get a message through, patting their backs, chasing them around the house on my hands and knees(which is getting dang hard)to catch them and hear them giggle, there's lots of physical contact, not only hugs.
Controlled Chaos 03:11 PM 02-12-2016
I make an extra effort to give them hugs, and pats on the backs. I am pretty stressed and quick to be grumpy lately (lots of life stuff going on) so I try to give lots of positive attention and comfort when I think of it. I also have one I don't like right now, so I am trying to give him extra hugs - hoping to trick myself 
NillaWafers 03:26 PM 02-12-2016
I'm definitely not a hugger. I will cuddle my own kids but I feel awkward with others. If a kid hurts themselves or needs comfort I manage, haha - but otherwise, no.
midaycare 03:52 PM 02-12-2016
I'm a hugget, but not all my dck's are. I'm respectful of that. I give kisses on tops of heads, too. I also hug dcf's. Sometimes strangers. Always friends.
BabyMonkeys 04:03 PM 02-12-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
same here.
I am NOT a touchy-feely person by nature and have to make a conscious effort to hug sometimes.
If my DCK's want one, I have zero issues providing one but its not something I just naturally do.
If someone makes a movement towards me when greeting me (to hug me, touch my shoulder etc), my natural instinct is to back away.
This is me exactly! same here. I am NOT a touchy-feely person by nature and have to make a conscious effort to hug sometimes.
If my DCK's want one, I have zero issues providing one but its not something I just naturally do.
If someone makes a movement towards me when greeting me (to hug me, touch my shoulder etc), my natural instinct is to back away.
Josiegirl 04:07 PM 02-12-2016
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
I also have one I don't like right now, so I am trying to give him extra hugs - hoping to trick myself
That's a hard one. I also have one I don't like right now, so I am trying to give him extra hugs - hoping to trick myself
When I'm extremely upset by something one of them has done and and all I want to do is distance myself from that child temporarily but I know a hug is what they need the most at that moment, it's take an act of God to move me.
midaycare 04:42 PM 02-12-2016
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
I make an extra effort to give them hugs, and pats on the backs. I am pretty stressed and quick to be grumpy lately (lots of life stuff going on) so I try to give lots of positive attention and comfort when I think of it. I also have one I don't like right now, so I am trying to give him extra hugs - hoping to trick myself
The extra hug thing has worked for me I make an extra effort to give them hugs, and pats on the backs. I am pretty stressed and quick to be grumpy lately (lots of life stuff going on) so I try to give lots of positive attention and comfort when I think of it. I also have one I don't like right now, so I am trying to give him extra hugs - hoping to trick myself
mamamanda 05:19 PM 02-12-2016
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
I make an extra effort to give them hugs, and pats on the backs. I am pretty stressed and quick to be grumpy lately (lots of life stuff going on) so I try to give lots of positive attention and comfort when I think of it. I also have one I don't like right now, so I am trying to give him extra hugs - hoping to trick myself
This made me laugh so hard...trying to trick yourself. I make an extra effort to give them hugs, and pats on the backs. I am pretty stressed and quick to be grumpy lately (lots of life stuff going on) so I try to give lots of positive attention and comfort when I think of it. I also have one I don't like right now, so I am trying to give him extra hugs - hoping to trick myself
I can totally relate which is why its so funny. I'm not overly comfortable with physical contact so it really depends on who it is for me. I do hug/cuddle with my kids and nieces and nephews a lot. I'm ok with hugging my dcks if they need/want it, but I probably don't initiate it often. Just not my natural thing. Right now I have one that likes to be held and hugged a lot. I struggle b/c she picks on my ds frequently and like today she pushed him, I corrected her, and 2 minutes later she was trying to hug me. Sorry, really not in the mood to hug you right after you hurt my kid.
Febby 05:43 PM 02-12-2016
Hugs? All day everyday.
I also have several who really like to run their fingers through my hair when I'm sitting down. As long as no one touches my face, we're good.
I also have several who really like to run their fingers through my hair when I'm sitting down. As long as no one touches my face, we're good.
Leigh 08:27 PM 02-12-2016
Hugs are great for kids. They raise oxytocin levels, and the effects last nearly 2 hours. They can help with behavior, and really, I think they help with self esteem. Hugs are important to little ones. Some of my kids are big huggers, some not so much. I have one kid who doesn't like me to touch him AT ALL unless he is hurt-then he's all over me wanting comfort. I have a little girl (24 months) who comes up to me and says "huuuug meee" when she is feeling lonesome. It all depends on the kid, but we tend to hug a lot around here.
NoMoreJuice! 09:01 PM 02-12-2016
This has been on my mind the last week. I have a 4 yo guy who needs 15 hugs from mom before she can leave (Dad sets a limit and only gives 2). I get annoyed with his constant neediness for hugs as I myself would rather never ever be touched. I avoid human contact like the plague. The last few months I've noticed myself asking him to stop asking for hugs, we don't have time, we have things we need to do.
Anyway, I am working really hard on building better relationships with all my kids lately, and I have been making myself stop the clock to spend a minute hugging this little guy every so often. It has actually made a world of difference this week, just taking a few minutes to squeeze, acknowledge him, then look into his sweet, trusting eyes. It is absolutely essential to me that I start taking more time for this. It makes me remember why I started this business, and it calms me during the chaos.
Anyway, I am working really hard on building better relationships with all my kids lately, and I have been making myself stop the clock to spend a minute hugging this little guy every so often. It has actually made a world of difference this week, just taking a few minutes to squeeze, acknowledge him, then look into his sweet, trusting eyes. It is absolutely essential to me that I start taking more time for this. It makes me remember why I started this business, and it calms me during the chaos.
Josiegirl 03:43 AM 02-13-2016
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
This has been on my mind the last week. I have a 4 yo guy who needs 15 hugs from mom before she can leave (Dad sets a limit and only gives 2). I get annoyed with his constant neediness for hugs as I myself would rather never ever be touched. I avoid human contact like the plague. The last few months I've noticed myself asking him to stop asking for hugs, we don't have time, we have things we need to do.
Anyway, I am working really hard on building better relationships with all my kids lately, and I have been making myself stop the clock to spend a minute hugging this little guy every so often. It has actually made a world of difference this week, just taking a few minutes to squeeze, acknowledge him, then look into his sweet, trusting eyes. It is absolutely essential to me that I start taking more time for this. It makes me remember why I started this business, and it calms me during the chaos.
I completely agree that it can make a world of difference in their day which, of course, helps us immensely!!This has been on my mind the last week. I have a 4 yo guy who needs 15 hugs from mom before she can leave (Dad sets a limit and only gives 2). I get annoyed with his constant neediness for hugs as I myself would rather never ever be touched. I avoid human contact like the plague. The last few months I've noticed myself asking him to stop asking for hugs, we don't have time, we have things we need to do.
Anyway, I am working really hard on building better relationships with all my kids lately, and I have been making myself stop the clock to spend a minute hugging this little guy every so often. It has actually made a world of difference this week, just taking a few minutes to squeeze, acknowledge him, then look into his sweet, trusting eyes. It is absolutely essential to me that I start taking more time for this. It makes me remember why I started this business, and it calms me during the chaos.
Josiegirl 03:51 AM 02-13-2016
I have to remind myself often that these are not merely pint size people that I get to order around all day (haha) but little children who are placing their trust in me to love them and protect them. And if that's not my first priority during their day here then maybe I need to rethink my job. If I can simply calm myself down for a minute, long enough to look into their trusting eyes and feel the compassion for what they're going through without their moms/dads, having to shareshareshare with several others all day long, then I can give them what they need most; if it's a hug then that's what they'll get.
Thank you for posting this topic, it's now inspired me to stop and think more during their days rather than get this finished, do this, do that, be on schedule, etc., etc.
Ok, on a very side note, this editing within 5 minutes is annoying.
Thank you for posting this topic, it's now inspired me to stop and think more during their days rather than get this finished, do this, do that, be on schedule, etc., etc.
Ok, on a very side note, this editing within 5 minutes is annoying.
Baby Beluga 09:02 PM 02-13-2016
Thank you all so much for your input!
Naturally, I am not a touchy feeling person. I am with DH and DD and that is is. It occurred to me a couple of weeks ago that I don't really hug my daycare children. I love them dearly, but don't show that love with hugs. I give high fives, praises, pats on the back or shoulder, but not hugs. I know how I tend to "relax" after a long hug with DH or DD and wondered if the children would benefit as well...funny how looking back that thought seems like a huge "duh" moment.
I am happy to read that I am not the only one who isn't really touchy feeling. Makes me feel like less of a weirdo
Naturally, I am not a touchy feeling person. I am with DH and DD and that is is. It occurred to me a couple of weeks ago that I don't really hug my daycare children. I love them dearly, but don't show that love with hugs. I give high fives, praises, pats on the back or shoulder, but not hugs. I know how I tend to "relax" after a long hug with DH or DD and wondered if the children would benefit as well...funny how looking back that thought seems like a huge "duh" moment.
I am happy to read that I am not the only one who isn't really touchy feeling. Makes me feel like less of a weirdo
Unregistered 10:42 AM 02-14-2016
I am hugger and a cuddler. If a child wants to sit on my lap, hooray. While it's not an all day thing....if they need/want a hug they get one for sure!
e.j. 05:28 PM 02-14-2016
I hug and kiss the kids all the time. Often, one child will be giving me a hug and before I know it, the rest of the kids are all gathered wanting a "group hug". I get hugs when they come in in the morning and good-bye hugs when they leave for the day. Often, they hug each other as they're leaving, too.
spud912 09:04 PM 02-14-2016
I know some kids especially love hugs and I really struggle with that part of the job. It just feels awkward when I hug people outside of my immediate family, but I do try to make a concerted effort.
I have had some kids who say "I love you" repeatedly within a couple of days of knowing me and I struggle with a response to that too.
I have had some kids who say "I love you" repeatedly within a couple of days of knowing me and I struggle with a response to that too.
DaveA 03:51 AM 02-15-2016
Originally Posted by spud912:
I have had some kids who say "I love you" repeatedly within a couple of days of knowing me and I struggle with a response to that too.
I just say some variation of "Thank You" and "I think you're pretty special too".I have had some kids who say "I love you" repeatedly within a couple of days of knowing me and I struggle with a response to that too.
Jazzii 04:58 AM 02-15-2016
Honestly, depends on the kid. Like there's this one girl that I've known since she was 6 months (she's about to be 4 ��) and I hug her all day long, I hug the babies all day long and others when they ask. A lot of my kids aren't huggers so it's not too often
Miss Suzanne 04:20 AM 02-27-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
same here.
I am NOT a touchy-feely person by nature and have to make a conscious effort to hug sometimes.
If my DCK's want one, I have zero issues providing one but its not something I just naturally do.
If someone makes a movement towards me when greeting me (to hug me, touch my shoulder etc), my natural instinct is to back away.
Thanks for validating my personality! same here. I am NOT a touchy-feely person by nature and have to make a conscious effort to hug sometimes.
If my DCK's want one, I have zero issues providing one but its not something I just naturally do.
If someone makes a movement towards me when greeting me (to hug me, touch my shoulder etc), my natural instinct is to back away.
Silly Songs 09:48 AM 02-27-2016
This is one thing Um going to miss about my class ! They are mostly buffers and so am I. Of course I'll hug the children I will be with in my new job, but they are a bit older. Thinking about it makes me sad.
MsLisa 11:52 AM 02-27-2016
I'm generally not an "affectionate" person. But when I worked at the Y I always welcomed their hugs and often showed "mom-like" affections for them daily. You know, that shoulder touch or a ruffling of hair. I looked forward to their love. They brought it out of me I guess.... I miss them.
When I did my time as an infant assistant teacher I was actually reprimanded for "coddling crying babies". Apparently this made it harder for any floater to come in when it was my break (they would get hysterical when I left the room). Especially specific babies who took to me immediately. That made me hate the place. I knew when to hold them and when to let them cry. I'm a mom and i'm not sorry my instinct told me to the right thing. I wasn't going to stop cause other people are jealous/cold/unmotherly. They were just idiots. Goodbye good riddance.
But yes, kids bring out the love in my usual hard-a*s heart.
I miss them. When I did my time as an infant assistant teacher I was actually reprimanded for "coddling crying babies".
Apparently this made it harder for any floater to come in when it was my break (they would get hysterical when I left the room). Especially specific babies who took to me immediately. That made me hate the place. I knew when to hold them and when to let them cry. I'm a mom and i'm not sorry my instinct told me to the right thing. I wasn't going to stop cause other people are jealous/cold/unmotherly. They were just idiots. Goodbye good riddance. But yes, kids bring out the love in my usual hard-a*s heart.
Unregistered 11:56 AM 02-27-2016
If someone wants a hug I give them one. Some parents try to make their child hug me, but I discourage that. The relationship with each child is slightly different and I try to honor that. It's even true with infants, some are snugglier than others.