Unregistered 11:02 AM 09-17-2009
I generally have a great group of kids ages 3-5 but it seems like lately they don't seem to listen and follow directions well if at all they all seem to feed off of each other, especially 2 of them one is 3 the other is almost 5 , the 3 year old constantly acts like he doesn't get what I'm trying to explain to him then goes right back to doing it, I do the 3 min time outs for him to only go right back doing something he isn't suppose to, not sharing, running, being too rough with someone and I always remind him or any of them upon getting up from time out that what ever they did is not ok. Activities and things go fairly well but as soon as it's play time it just gets so wild and everyone starts arguing, not sharing and I sit them down and talk with all of them for them to only be right back at it in 5 min. How else do others handle these times, I told them we wont have playtime as much if they can't get along and they seem to get so loud and we always have inside voices, what else can I do? they need play time and need to learn how to play together. Any suggestions would be appreciated. It's just been a frustrating week. thanks
kitkat 06:02 PM 09-17-2009
Here are some things that I do if time outs aren't cutting it:
1. Take away the toy they were playing with and give the toy a time out.
2. Limit what toys can be played with.
3. If need be, don't let certain kids play together and explain to them why.
4. Reward the kids that are playing nicely and following the rules. I usually do stamps or stickers. My son's 4K teacher does smellies. She takes a "flavored" chapstick and marks their hand with it for doing something good. The kids LOVE it! It's like a reward that keeps rewarding because they can keep smelling it.
5. My son's preschool teacher gave the kids 2 stamps at the start of class (keep in mind it was only a 2.5 hour class). I think the system was: 1st misstep was a warning, 2nd was the removal of the stamp, 3rd was removal of the other stamp and a time out. I ALWAYS heard about when someone got a stamp removed. It's a big deal to them.
Can you go outside to burn off some energy? If you can't, maybe you could do a big group game that gets out some energy without over stimulating them. Maybe it's a timing issue...my nephew struggles at a certain time during the day. Maybe that's happening to your group. It nothing else works, you could try to change your schedule around a little and have free play at a different time to see if that alleviates the problem.
Good luck and hang in there!
Unregistered 02:27 PM 09-23-2009
thanks for the reply, sorry I couldn't come on in awhile. I do take the toy away if they are fighting over it. I'll have to try the one not letting them play with a child they keep fighting with, the only thing with that I have kind of done it before but not for like the day just while they were playing with something I'd tell him he can't play with him he'll have to find something else to do, but what happens is he hangs around like right by the other person and just loiters, doesnt go find something else to do he just totally wants to follow, he doesn't play but stands around very near. I do reward good behaviour and I change it every week. Going outside, they just do the same thing, follow each other and bicker and argue, it's so frustrating. these kids are 3 & 4 they are here every day all day together so I'm sure they get tired and frustrated of each other at times.
Unregistered 06:23 PM 09-23-2009
I was having the same trouble over the summer only my group was older school children...6,8,10...they just couldn't seem to get along no matter what I switched up. The more games I came up with to keep them busy, the more arguing I got over small things.
One thing that did help short term is to creat a reward chart. If they had a good week..and a good week consisted of at least 4 stars out of the 5 day week...they got a certain prize at the end of the week (I did a gift certificate for a small ice cream one week, make your own sundaes another week, make your own pizza...ect.). A key factor is to make the chart and post it where they can see it so it is a constant reminder.
Oh and because I never expect them to have a complete perfect day, I used the red, yellow, green light system in addition to the reward chart...made a chart with the colors of the stop light and if I had to give them a warning they go on yellow...if they continue to misbehave they go to red and they don't earn a reward sticker for that day.
Not sure how well that system would work on 3 and 4 year olds as their attention span is a lot shorter, but I know my kids loved sticker charts when potty training so young ones like that may love a reward sticker chart.
Good luck..some kids are very challenging and hard to figure out what will work.
I am going to try the "smelly" idea!
Unregistered 08:21 AM 09-24-2009
Thanks I really like the idea of the red, yellow and green light, I think all but the 2 1/2 yr old would understand, but I think he would catch on and understand but my 3 yr old I'm not sure he'd get it, he doesn't seem to understand or comprehend anything I try to talk with him about, but all the others I think would really like it thanks for the tip. Is it normal for 5 kids to be this close in age to bicker all the time? I mean its just everything, can start out as small as my dad is stronger than your dad then it just blows up from there, things like that, I try to say things like all daddy's are strong, it just gets so frustrating.