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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Would You Be Upset?
Patches 02:54 PM 04-22-2013
So my ds comes home from school (5 yo) and says, "Mom! Come look!" He was VERY excited. So I walked over to the front steps and there was a caterpilllar on the steps right outside the door. I asked him lots of questions about it and his eyes lit up while he was telling me all about it turning into a butterfly and how that happens. By this time, I had called the dcks to see. I warned them several times NOT to step on it and be very careful walking around it. So after a few minutes I said, "OK, let's go back inside. Make sure you DON'T step on the caterpil..." Right then my 2 1/2 yo dcb goes, "ARRRG!" And stomps on the caterpillar. DS burst into tears and said,"Now he can't turn into a butterfly!!" It broke his little heart and that, of course, broke my heart. I didn't get onto dcb really. I just said, "Oh no, DCB, we don't hurt little critters here. Please don't do that again" But inside I was very upset.
I know little boys like to squish bugs and I know I am a big cry baby, but would this have upset you?
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dEHmom 03:06 PM 04-22-2013
Aw that's so sad.

I would've been upset, but there isn't a whole lot you could do in a situation like that.
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Play Care 03:22 PM 04-22-2013
Honestly I would never have called my young group over to look in the first place, because they would have done the same thing
But this is a wonderful opportunity to teach children to be GENTLE to bugs/animals.
I'm sorry for your son
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Cradle2crayons 03:27 PM 04-22-2013
Gosh yes I'd have cried inside too!! It's unfortunate but also a great opportunity to talk to your son about loss and discuss sadness and feelings. Feelings are great because remember a child's lack of ability to talk feelings is what can lead to tantrums and a whole lotta problems....

Oh a brighter note, we have had an onslaught of caterpillars here in the last few weeks... And what do my kids and dck do?? We feed them to the baby chickens who just moved out into the pen lol.... Oh the circle of life... Wait until our kids realize we're eating one of their pets!!! Oh life!!

But seriously, you did the right thing, kids that age are learning cause and effect... He did what most his age would do...
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JoseyJo 03:43 PM 04-22-2013
We had a 3 yo dcb a couple of years ago who would spend all of outside time hunting for bugs just to smash them all. I spoke to his mom and found out that his mom encouraged it and felt that all bugs are bad and told him to kill any he saw. We dont kill bugs here unless they are biting us, so I explained (lots of times over the course of many weeks) that at our school we don't hurt bugs unless they are hurting us (and that rules at school and rules at home can be different and that's okay!). We adopted crickets and roly polys as pets over that summer and by the end of summer he would protect any bug he saw and make sure it could go on it's way safely without a little one stepping on it
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daycarediva 03:58 PM 04-22-2013


YES! I would have mentioned it to his parents at pickup. In my house we don't hurt or kill ANYTHING. Even bees are trapped and gently put back outside and through their time here, ALL of my kids learn that EVERY life has value.
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bunnyslippers 04:03 PM 04-22-2013
I absolutely would have been upset. That is so sad!
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SilverSabre25 04:10 PM 04-22-2013
I would have been upset and sad, though also understanding that it's the age and he needs taught and guided. a 2.5 yo doesn't bother me NEARLY as much as an older child doing this would have.

Though I probably would have tried to foresee the issue and have bodily control over the little guy--either the caterpillar or the child. I have a rough boy of my own though and am used to anticipating problems.
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Crystal 05:21 PM 04-22-2013
Diva......I love it!!! Thanks for that

Yes, Patches, I would have been upset. However, I think you handled it appropriately and would have done the same, except I probably would have talked with him a bit more about the caterpillar AND about not listening to you.
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Cradle2crayons 05:31 PM 04-22-2013
Lol I have to disagree on the bees and wasps in the house... They must die... Only because I am rarely on the mood to give an epi shot to my son.... The poor healthy as an axe only seen ONE doctor ( other than nurses for shots and well baby) in his life little boy... He's allergic to anything that stings... So those die but I'm the only one allowed to kill them... And only when they are inside the house lol...
But I agree there may be something to it if its something than a one time thing...
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jenn 06:08 PM 04-22-2013
I would have been upset. Kids need to be taught repsect for animals and insects. However, if a bee/wasp/spider/anything that bites is inside my house, I send it as quickly as possible to buggie heaven.
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Cradle2crayons 06:14 PM 04-22-2013
Originally Posted by jenn:
I would have been upset. Kids need to be taught repsect for animals and insects. However, if a bee/wasp/spider/anything that bites is inside my house, I send it as quickly as possible to buggie heaven.
Amen to the heaven thing lol
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AmyKidsCo 08:56 PM 04-22-2013
I would've been sad too. Poor caterpillar.
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Patches 04:42 AM 04-23-2013
I hit the wrong key in the OP. The dcb is 3 1/2 not 2 1/2.
Anyway, thanks for the reassurance that I'm not just a big baby. My DS got over it after a little while(and lots of hugs) but man, I hated seeing him upset like that.

Oh, Crystal,
I know I didn't mention it in the OP, but once we got inside I did elaborate a little on the caterpillar and talked to him about listening ears.

Thank you, ladies! Love this forum!
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Patches 04:43 AM 04-23-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:


YES! I would have mentioned it to his parents at pickup. In my house we don't hurt or kill ANYTHING. Even bees are trapped and gently put back outside and through their time here, ALL of my kids learn that EVERY life has value.
Great picture!! Thanks for that!
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Luna 05:37 AM 04-23-2013
It would bother me too and I think you handled it perfectly. I have had a brother and sister set of dcks here for 3 years and all summer I have to remind both of them to let the insects do their business, if they're not bothering us we don't bother them, look at them with our eyes, hands off... Once we put some bread crumbs on the cement and watched the ants work at carrying them away. After about 10 minutes I stepped back out of arms reach and the boy took the opportunity to squish as many ants as he could before I could reach his hand to stop him. The two of them like to go behind the climber and squish whatever unlucky insects made the bad decision to be there, and they like to get the other kids to join them. I can't take my eyes off of those two all insect season. Drives me nuts.
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countrymom 05:44 AM 04-23-2013
acually I would have been mad. He is old enough to listen and to not to do this. He did it on purpose.
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LittleD 06:33 AM 04-23-2013
I feel your pain! My DS was 6 and his 6 yr old friend did that to him. In the end they were BOTH in tears!
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daycaremum 12:46 PM 04-23-2013
Yes I would have been upset. He did something that made the other kids sad and he disobeyed my instructions. He would be spoken to sternly about what he had done (totally did it on purpose) and he would be sitting on time out!

I don't think I would mention it to the parents. Unless it's something huge, my policy is "what happens at daycare stays at daycare." This is to prevent kids being punished twice for the same small incident.
It also saves me the disappointment if the parent does not care like I think they should.
Now if it something that needs to be reinforced at home, then I definitely share with mum and dad.
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Brooksie 01:00 PM 04-23-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:


YES! I would have mentioned it to his parents at pickup. In my house we don't hurt or kill ANYTHING. Even bees are trapped and gently put back outside and through their time here, ALL of my kids learn that EVERY life has value.
Just stole this for our FB page. LOVE IT

And patches, I'm sorry about your sons loss. That's hard to handle.
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Patches 06:28 AM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
Just stole this for our FB page. LOVE IT

And patches, I'm sorry about your sons loss. That's hard to handle.
Thanks,
also, I shared it from your facebook page to mine
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KnoxMom 06:42 AM 04-24-2013
I learned in my psychology class that the frontal cortex of a child's brain that age is still developing. Actually, it is the last to fully develop. Anyway, this part of the brain controls decision making and regulating social behaviors. The DCK has no idea that what they just did was hurtful (which is why it is so important to teach them). As another poster said, take the opportunity to discuss the feeling associated with hurt or loss to help everyone understand why the action was wrong. Perhaps the next theme can be on 'Crawly Creatures' to explain why we need them and how to be gentle with all living things. I'm blabbing now! HTH
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daycaremum 08:24 AM 05-22-2013
Originally Posted by KnoxMom:
I learned in my psychology class that the frontal cortex of a child's brain that age is still developing. Actually, it is the last to fully develop. Anyway, this part of the brain controls decision making and regulating social behaviors. The DCK has no idea that what they just did was hurtful (which is why it is so important to teach them). As another poster said, take the opportunity to discuss the feeling associated with hurt or loss to help everyone understand why the action was wrong. Perhaps the next theme can be on 'Crawly Creatures' to explain why we need them and how to be gentle with all living things. I'm blabbing now! HTH
I totally agree with him not understanding why what he did was wrong and I would definitely use it as a teachable moment about the feelings of others. But the fact is the DCP told everyone several times NOT to step on the caterpillar. That is what I would discipline him for is not listening to what I told them.
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