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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need Help With First Termination
sahmprovider 11:11 AM 01-10-2013
Hello,
I've been running a daycare out of my home for about a year now, and have experienced normal turnover, but haven't had to terminate any clients until now.
This is a brand new client, has been here two weeks. The child is 7 months old and he's a very sweet boy, but he is constantly crying the entire day. He won't nap, he won't play, he just cries all the time unless he is being fed or held. Parents have taken him to the doctor and have found nothing wrong, and indicated that his past provider also said he was just a fussy baby.
I have to term because he is simply too high maintenance for me at this time. I have four other children that I watch as well as one of my own and I can't provide him the attention he needs to be happy. I believe other parents are starting to grow concerned that I am overwhelmed, and truthfully I probably am. If I don't term I am concerned I will lose some clients I've had for a very long time.
I'm struggling with the idea of terminating though. His parents are great, pay in advance, are easy to work with, never complain, and follow all the rules. I'm a very non-confrontational person by nature, and feel guilty for terminating after I just recently accepted them and told them how excited I am to have him in my care. They also expressed that he's been much happier at home since he started attending my daycare, so there's some added guilt to the equation.
Any more experienced providers have some advice in how to best handle this termination? I want it to be as painless as possible, don't want to insult them, and want them find a provider than can give their son the attention he needs to be happy. I have no bad feelings towards them at all, it's just a matter of not being a good fit at this time. Any drafts of termination letters you've used in the past would also be much appreciated.
I've been running a daycare out of my home for about a year now, and have experienced normal turnover, but haven't had to terminate any clients until now.
This is a brand new client, has been here two weeks. The child is 7 months old and he's a very sweet boy, but he is constantly crying the entire day. He won't nap, he won't play, he just cries all the time unless he is being fed or held. Parents have taken him to the doctor and have found nothing wrong, and indicated that his past provider also said he was just a fussy baby.
I have to term because he is simply too high maintenance for me at this time. I have four other children that I watch as well as one of my own and I can't provide him the attention he needs to be happy. I believe other parents are starting to grow concerned that I am overwhelmed, and truthfully I probably am. If I don't term I am concerned I will lose some clients I've had for a very long time.
I'm struggling with the idea of terminating though. His parents are great, pay in advance, are easy to work with, never complain, and follow all the rules. I'm a very non-confrontational person by nature, and feel guilty for terminating after I just recently accepted them and told them how excited I am to have him in my care. They also expressed that he's been much happier at home since he started attending my daycare, so there's some added guilt to the equation.
Any more experienced providers have some advice in how to best handle this termination? I want it to be as painless as possible, don't want to insult them, and want them find a provider than can give their son the attention he needs to be happy. I have no bad feelings towards them at all, it's just a matter of not being a good fit at this time. Any drafts of termination letters you've used in the past would also be much appreciated.
Blackcat31 11:55 AM 01-10-2013
Welcome to the forum! Your status has been upgraded so you can post without moderation.
As far as terming this little one, I would just be honest and tell the parents he requires more care than you are able to provide him while watching other kids.
I have been there myself and there is nothing wrong with saying that. I would keep it short and sweet. maybe something like:
Dear Parents
This is written notice of my intent to discontinue our child care services agreement.
At this time I feel that I am unable to provide *baby's name* with the level of care he needs. The last day I will be able to provde care is Jan XX, 2013.
I am including the number to the local Child Care Resource & Referal to aid you in your search for more suitable care.
Thank you,
Provider.
Do you have a trial period at all? You could also go that route too.
As far as terming this little one, I would just be honest and tell the parents he requires more care than you are able to provide him while watching other kids.
I have been there myself and there is nothing wrong with saying that. I would keep it short and sweet. maybe something like:
Dear Parents
This is written notice of my intent to discontinue our child care services agreement.
At this time I feel that I am unable to provide *baby's name* with the level of care he needs. The last day I will be able to provde care is Jan XX, 2013.
I am including the number to the local Child Care Resource & Referal to aid you in your search for more suitable care.
Thank you,
Provider.
Do you have a trial period at all? You could also go that route too.
Michael 02:54 PM 01-10-2013
More termination letters: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...ination+letter
daycare 03:35 PM 01-10-2013
sorry the only thing that I could really focus on is that the baby is only 7months old and already on their second provider???
WOW when are some parents going to get it??
I love BC letter.....sweet simple and to the point.
Just out of curiously, is the baby full time or part time??
WOW when are some parents going to get it??
I love BC letter.....sweet simple and to the point.
Just out of curiously, is the baby full time or part time??
sahmprovider 05:03 PM 01-10-2013
Thank you for your help. He is full time. After reading several of the other term letters I've seen on this site, this is what I've put together. Feedback is appreciated.
Dear (Parents),
Over the course of (dcb)'s time in my care I have come to the realization that I cannot provide the level of care that he needs to be happy. He's a very sweet boy, he just needs more one on one attention than I am able to provide at this time due to the ages and number of other children in my care. I believe he would be a better fit in a setting where he can receive more direct attention from a provider. For this reason I will need to discontinue providing care for (dcb.)
Because things didn't work out, I have decided to refund you the amount you provided in payment for watching (dcb) so far. I have enclosed a check for this refund. I will also be happy to provide childcare for (dcb) free of charge for two weeks so that you are able to find a suitable replacement childcare provider. I can highly recommend contacting the local childcare referral agency, (agency name), at (phone number.) They will be able to provide you with a comprehensive list of licensed providers in the area.
I have enjoyed getting to know you and your family. Please understand that I think (dcb) is a great child and that you are both amazing parents. This is simply a matter of my inability to provide (dcb) with the care that I feel he needs and deserves at this time. I wish you all the best going forward.
Sincerely,
(Provider)
Dear (Parents),
Over the course of (dcb)'s time in my care I have come to the realization that I cannot provide the level of care that he needs to be happy. He's a very sweet boy, he just needs more one on one attention than I am able to provide at this time due to the ages and number of other children in my care. I believe he would be a better fit in a setting where he can receive more direct attention from a provider. For this reason I will need to discontinue providing care for (dcb.)
Because things didn't work out, I have decided to refund you the amount you provided in payment for watching (dcb) so far. I have enclosed a check for this refund. I will also be happy to provide childcare for (dcb) free of charge for two weeks so that you are able to find a suitable replacement childcare provider. I can highly recommend contacting the local childcare referral agency, (agency name), at (phone number.) They will be able to provide you with a comprehensive list of licensed providers in the area.
I have enjoyed getting to know you and your family. Please understand that I think (dcb) is a great child and that you are both amazing parents. This is simply a matter of my inability to provide (dcb) with the care that I feel he needs and deserves at this time. I wish you all the best going forward.
Sincerely,
(Provider)
daycare 05:19 PM 01-10-2013
Originally Posted by sahmprovider:
Thank you for your help. He is full time. After reading several of the other term letters I've seen on this site, this is what I've put together. Feedback is appreciated.
Dear (Parents),
Over the course of (dcb)'s time in my care I have come to the realization that I cannot provide the level of care that he needs to be happy. He's a very sweet boy, he just needs more one on one attention than I am able to provide at this time due to the ages and number of other children in my care. I believe he would be a better fit in a setting where he can receive more direct attention from a provider. For this reason I will need to discontinue providing care for (dcb.)
Because things didn't work out, I have decided to refund you the amount you provided in payment for watching (dcb) so far. I have enclosed a check for this refund. I will also be happy to provide childcare for (dcb) free of charge for two weeks so that you are able to find a suitable replacement childcare provider. I can highly recommend contacting the local childcare referral agency, (agency name), at (phone number.) They will be able to provide you with a comprehensive list of licensed providers in the area.
I have enjoyed getting to know you and your family. Please understand that I think (dcb) is a great child and that you are both amazing parents. This is simply a matter of my inability to provide (dcb) with the care that I feel he needs and deserves at this time. I wish you all the best going forward.
Sincerely,
(Provider)
OMG woman....Nooooooo. I won't let you provide two weeks of free care.Thank you for your help. He is full time. After reading several of the other term letters I've seen on this site, this is what I've put together. Feedback is appreciated.
Dear (Parents),
Over the course of (dcb)'s time in my care I have come to the realization that I cannot provide the level of care that he needs to be happy. He's a very sweet boy, he just needs more one on one attention than I am able to provide at this time due to the ages and number of other children in my care. I believe he would be a better fit in a setting where he can receive more direct attention from a provider. For this reason I will need to discontinue providing care for (dcb.)
Because things didn't work out, I have decided to refund you the amount you provided in payment for watching (dcb) so far. I have enclosed a check for this refund. I will also be happy to provide childcare for (dcb) free of charge for two weeks so that you are able to find a suitable replacement childcare provider. I can highly recommend contacting the local childcare referral agency, (agency name), at (phone number.) They will be able to provide you with a comprehensive list of licensed providers in the area.
I have enjoyed getting to know you and your family. Please understand that I think (dcb) is a great child and that you are both amazing parents. This is simply a matter of my inability to provide (dcb) with the care that I feel he needs and deserves at this time. I wish you all the best going forward.
Sincerely,
(Provider)
I would omit that part....Perhaps you can say that you are going to give them two weeks notice, inwhich you will continue to care for DCB until they find another provider... NOT FREE.......
they are not setting their child up to be cared for in a group daycare setting. Its not your fault, don't let it cost you your time or money....
everything else looked great
wdmmom 06:32 PM 01-10-2013
Originally Posted by sahmprovider:
Thank you for your help. He is full time. After reading several of the other term letters I've seen on this site, this is what I've put together. Feedback is appreciated.
Dear (Parents),
Over the course of (dcb)'s time in my care I have come to the realization that I cannot provide the level of care that he needs to be happy. He's a very sweet boy, he just needs more one on one attention than I am able to provide at this time due to the ages and number of other children in my care. I believe he would be a better fit in a setting where he can receive more direct attention from a provider. For this reason I will need to discontinue providing care for (dcb.)
Because things didn't work out, I have decided to refund you the amount 6 you provided in payment for watching (dcb) so far. I have enclosed a check for this refund. I will also be happy to provide childcare for (dcb) free of charge for two weeks so that you are able to find a suitable replacement childcare provider. I can highly recommend contacting the local childcare referral agency, (agency name), at (phone number.) They will be able to provide you with a comprehensive list of licensed providers in the area.
I have enjoyed getting to know you and your family. Please understand that I think (dcb) is a great child and that you are both amazing parents. This is simply a matter of my inability to provide (dcb) with the care that I feel he needs and deserves at this time. I wish you all the best going forward.
Sincerely,
(Provider)
Thank you for your help. He is full time. After reading several of the other term letters I've seen on this site, this is what I've put together. Feedback is appreciated.
Dear (Parents),
Over the course of (dcb)'s time in my care I have come to the realization that I cannot provide the level of care that he needs to be happy. He's a very sweet boy, he just needs more one on one attention than I am able to provide at this time due to the ages and number of other children in my care. I believe he would be a better fit in a setting where he can receive more direct attention from a provider. For this reason I will need to discontinue providing care for (dcb.)
Because things didn't work out, I have decided to refund you the amount 6 you provided in payment for watching (dcb) so far. I have enclosed a check for this refund. I will also be happy to provide childcare for (dcb) free of charge for two weeks so that you are able to find a suitable replacement childcare provider. I can highly recommend contacting the local childcare referral agency, (agency name), at (phone number.) They will be able to provide you with a comprehensive list of licensed providers in the area.
I have enjoyed getting to know you and your family. Please understand that I think (dcb) is a great child and that you are both amazing parents. This is simply a matter of my inability to provide (dcb) with the care that I feel he needs and deserves at this time. I wish you all the best going forward.
Sincerely,
(Provider)
Oh noooooo!!!
Never in a million years would I tell them I couldn't provide the care he requires nor would I ever offer free care.
Here's the problem: If you open the door and say you can't do it, theyre going to question what youve been doing for the past 2 weeks.
And
If you offer a free 2 weeks of care for them to find someone else, chances are, theyre going to want the last 2 weeks refunded too.
cheerfuldom 07:44 PM 01-10-2013
NOOOOOOO! PLEASE do not feel guilted into providing free care. What are you thinking, woman? dont give a refund, you have already done the work and there is nothing wrong with being compensated. dont offer free care in the future. Also let them know that if they find care within two weeks, that they can move on to the new provider before the two weeks is up.
I think babies need longer to adjust than two weeks BUT he is on his second provider and obviously had issues at the past one. Some babies just really do need that extra attention for the first year and he sounds like one of them. Did they say they had gotten termed from the last one for constant crying?
but if you are feeling overwhelmed and that is showing to the other parents, you need to keep your business running and terming the problem child will be in the best interest of everyone.....including this little guy. Its the right thing to do to let the family move on toward a childcare situation that is a better fit for him.
I think babies need longer to adjust than two weeks BUT he is on his second provider and obviously had issues at the past one. Some babies just really do need that extra attention for the first year and he sounds like one of them. Did they say they had gotten termed from the last one for constant crying?
but if you are feeling overwhelmed and that is showing to the other parents, you need to keep your business running and terming the problem child will be in the best interest of everyone.....including this little guy. Its the right thing to do to let the family move on toward a childcare situation that is a better fit for him.
EchoMom 08:13 PM 01-10-2013
Have you seen any progress over the 2 weeks in DCBs crying? IMO 2 weeks is not long enough, especially if this isn't his first rodeo, lol. He needs more time to adjust. But if you have seen NO progress and consistently have felt this way (not just one bad day) and you really don't see it improving then I totally understand. That's a really tough choice.
HOWEVER, are you saying you want to give them an entire month of free care???? You're going to RETURN the money they already paid you for the past 2 weeks PLUS continue to let them come for 2 more weeks without paying????
WHAT?!!! Why would you refund their money for the care you already provided??? Did you take care of him for that 2 weeks? Keep him safe? Feed him??? Hold him??? Nap him??? Change his diaper????? You WORKED so you should be PAID. Don't feel guilty just because it didn't work out. Returning their money is totally unecessary (although it's nice you are so generous) but to me it would imply that you don't deserve the money I've paid you and I'd wonder OMG how bad was it really?!
And if it's as bad as you say it is, how could you continue to care for the baby for 2 more weeks for free? If he's such a huge drain and handful then OF COURSE you deserve every penny and NOT to give your care away for free. No way no way! And then if what in the next 2 weeks things turn around and he starts to improve, then you have to take it back and say oh actually he's okay now, could you please give me back the money I gave you for the past month????
They sound like a good family, and 2 weeks isn't very long of a transition time. Although, I've never had any difficult DCbabies, only by own DS. So I don't know how I would feel if I were in your situation, it hasn't happened to me yet.
Maybe instead, you can say something to the DCfamily like I am concerned about DCBs transition here. Despite my best efforts he is still stressed and unhappy. You are a wonderful family to work with and I really want to provide excellent care for your son/daughter. Please consider this next 2 weeks a time of decision. Let's talk again in 1 week/2 weeks and decide together if we see improvement and if this is a situation we can continue.
Just an idea.
HOWEVER, are you saying you want to give them an entire month of free care???? You're going to RETURN the money they already paid you for the past 2 weeks PLUS continue to let them come for 2 more weeks without paying????
WHAT?!!! Why would you refund their money for the care you already provided??? Did you take care of him for that 2 weeks? Keep him safe? Feed him??? Hold him??? Nap him??? Change his diaper????? You WORKED so you should be PAID. Don't feel guilty just because it didn't work out. Returning their money is totally unecessary (although it's nice you are so generous) but to me it would imply that you don't deserve the money I've paid you and I'd wonder OMG how bad was it really?!
And if it's as bad as you say it is, how could you continue to care for the baby for 2 more weeks for free? If he's such a huge drain and handful then OF COURSE you deserve every penny and NOT to give your care away for free. No way no way! And then if what in the next 2 weeks things turn around and he starts to improve, then you have to take it back and say oh actually he's okay now, could you please give me back the money I gave you for the past month????
They sound like a good family, and 2 weeks isn't very long of a transition time. Although, I've never had any difficult DCbabies, only by own DS. So I don't know how I would feel if I were in your situation, it hasn't happened to me yet.
Maybe instead, you can say something to the DCfamily like I am concerned about DCBs transition here. Despite my best efforts he is still stressed and unhappy. You are a wonderful family to work with and I really want to provide excellent care for your son/daughter. Please consider this next 2 weeks a time of decision. Let's talk again in 1 week/2 weeks and decide together if we see improvement and if this is a situation we can continue.
Just an idea.
Play Care 03:18 AM 01-11-2013
I would stick to Blackcat's letter word for word. I think sometimes we fall in to the trap of thinking if we explain more the parent will be more understanding/not upset, etc. And the result is usually the opposite. Not only are they upset anyway, but now they will take your own words to use against you. Less is always more here.
I just can't see offering free care for a child whose needs are already causing you a lot of stress. I would think you would wind up being even more stressed and resentful to boot.
I prefer not to take infants under one year because I think it takes at least one month for them to acclimate to dc, which is stressful on everyone!
I just can't see offering free care for a child whose needs are already causing you a lot of stress. I would think you would wind up being even more stressed and resentful to boot.
I prefer not to take infants under one year because I think it takes at least one month for them to acclimate to dc, which is stressful on everyone!
AfterSchoolMom 05:03 AM 01-11-2013
Please, please, PLEASE do not refund money, and DO NOT provide free care. Regardless of this baby's crying, you still deserve to be paid for the service that you have provided.
I'd use BC's letter, and if you feel you want to provide more explanation, do it in person.
Good luck! Terming is hard, but just because a situation doesn't work out, doesn't mean that it's your fault and you shouldn't feel guilty.
I'd use BC's letter, and if you feel you want to provide more explanation, do it in person.
Good luck! Terming is hard, but just because a situation doesn't work out, doesn't mean that it's your fault and you shouldn't feel guilty.
cheerfuldom 09:16 AM 01-11-2013
it helps if you go into this knowing the parents will be upset when they are termed. there is nothing you can do that will make them happy that their provider is no longer going to provide care. at this point, it is not about the parents being happy.....its about you and your other kids being happy!