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  #1  
Old 06-01-2012, 02:39 PM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
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Default The "Holy Grail" of MY CHILD

I have removed my previous post.
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  #2  
Old 06-01-2012, 02:42 PM
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She needs a nanny or she needs to stay home. Impossible requests in a daycare situation.
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  #3  
Old 06-01-2012, 02:49 PM
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Thank you Mom for sharing this. I will be happy to let you know what works the best in my home for your children. You eldest child will not be neglected in order to give your baby one on one 24/7.
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Old 06-01-2012, 02:56 PM
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Yikes! That isn't a baby that would function well in a daycare setting. That's a lot of special for one child. I CAN'T wrap an infant in a blanket to sleep here(KS). How is sibling getting any attention if mom keeps up that behavior?

I have a baby who should start in October. I'm thinking of talking to the parents while dcm is still pregnant and letting them know my expectations. I do not want an infant who is spoiled from being held all the time.
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  #5  
Old 06-01-2012, 03:03 PM
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Even a nanny would have a hard time doing this. Mom needs to stay at home.
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  #6  
Old 06-01-2012, 03:04 PM
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Deleted for the reasons stated above
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  #7  
Old 06-01-2012, 03:13 PM
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I only have two babies, but I do rock them several times a day. I don't rock them with the intention of putting them to sleep, but if they do, I put them to bed, minus any blankets.

My babies get lots of hugs and kisses throughout the day.
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  #8  
Old 06-01-2012, 03:31 PM
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She obviously doesn't understand what it means to run a daycare. A lot of that is impossible especially the constant holding and putting baby down near the group. The poor thing would get trampled by rowdy toddlers around here! These are things SHE needs not the baby. That being said I've also been on the other side and felt the guilt of having to leaving my baby at a daycare. She's just doing what she can to encourage one on one time for her child. She does acknowledge that you are busy and can only do so much. If she were demanding these things I'd say you have a big problem on your hands. I had a newborn start a month ago and while I give him his bottle I sing whatever children's song is playing at the time and we rock. He loves it and he gets the face time he needs. We also do a lot of the play she describes. He's really not awake that much so it doesn't disrupt our regular schedule much. I wouldn't accept a newborn if I didn't have time for these things.
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  #9  
Old 06-01-2012, 03:31 PM
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From the way it was written, I'd almost assume it was a first time mom. At the same time, I think it is great that she is willing to take the time to share with you the things she does at home with the little one. You are right, he will acclimate to your setting. The way I see it, if he is having a very bad day, maybe now since you know he likes to have his nose "beeped" you can try some of these things.

I had a first time mom who was quite the opposite of this. She was very young, and would just drop him off with very little communication. No indication of what his likes/dislikes were. She hardly ever held him as you could tell from the flat spot on the back of his head. I don't know what level of attention and affection this one got at home, but I made sure he got plenty here. He was always clean and always had food in the bag. He was a healthy baby. He was not a happy baby though. What I wouldn't have given for a sheet like this from her!
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  #10  
Old 06-01-2012, 03:44 PM
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Almost all of my babies come with instructions like this, and I have to say that I really appreciate it. I like knowing how things have been done, and what helps these little peole to be happy. I am always honest with parents and let them know that I may not be able to do everything as they are asking, but that I will try to keep their child as happy and content as possible.

I think I would be shocked if I didn't get such specific, clear instructions. I can't imagine the anxiety a parent must have leaving their babies in an unfamiliar environment when the baby is too small to make requests or let their needs be known. The more detailed, the better.
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  #11  
Old 06-01-2012, 04:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
My discussion with her was very frank. I don't rock, I don't sing, I don't wrap up in a blanket, etc.

I told her that there are other children that are paying just the same if not more than her rate that will receive the same attention as every other child.

I told her not to be surprised if baby is hoarse for a few weeks while he acclimates to our setting, surroundings and how he his cared for.

Crying is a babies natural way of exercising.

While he was here for 2 hours (2 different interviews), I never had any notion that this child NEEDED this type of care. This is the mother's way of keeping the baby a baby forever. She did the same thing almost a year ago when their 3 year old started. "Make sure he gets lots of hugs, he needs them."

This baby is going to have a "come to Jesus" with gravity and belly time.

At least I know what I'm in for and I'm ready to tackle this bull by the horns!

I really don't for one second think this is how the baby NEEDS to be cared for, this is how mom has done it while she's been on maternity leave for the last 3 months.
I do not mean this rudely (as I am not necessarily a "baby person" so I FULLY understand) but seriously?? You don't rock the babies, sing to the babies or wrap them in blankets while you snuggle with them in your care?

I understand that the type of one-to-one care she is requesting of you is not always possible, but isn't that why there are regulations as to the number of adults to infants in a care setting? So the infants can get snuggles, rocked and sang to?

Also, is this baby under 6 months old? If he is, I can't imagine that the CIO method or whatever means he is going become "hoarse" from while at your house is probably not developmentally appropriate.

I think it is fabulous that the mom is sharing with you the exact way she does things so that you will be able to "read" her baby better. It doesn't mean that you HAVE to follow her methods or routine to a tee but I would hope that by "tackling this bull by the horns" you aren't meaning that this child's schedule or routine will be severely interupted or disregarded... if that is the case, the mom should know that and be allowed to exercise her right to find care that does meet her (and her child's) needs.

Babies this young absolutely need close contact with their provider and the "come to Jesus" moment with gravity that you have referred to probably shouldn't happen until the baby has made his adjustment to your environment and secure attachment to his caregiver.

I am sure you probably didn't mean the words as they sound (which come across as kind of harsh) and I am sure you are a very warm and caring provider but your response just sounds like you are mocking this mother and planning to disregard any and/or all of her wishes when it comes to the care of her child.

Like I said, I am not trying to start a debate, war, argument etc etc...but please re-read your words and pretend you are a parent having to leave your most loved and cherished angel with someone else, how would you take the words you wrote. I know my heart would break if I thought you really felt that way about my baby....or me as the whole tone is kind of like you are making fun of her.

I say this, because as a forum board, providers have a need to vent and get things off their chests, but you didn't even think so far as to put this in the Off-Topic section, but right out there on the open forum for any parent to read.....just kind of gives providers a bad image if parents thought we all felt this way.
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  #12  
Old 06-01-2012, 04:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I do not mean this rudely (as I am not necessarily a "baby person" so I FULLY understand) but seriously?? You don't rock the babies, sing to the babies or wrap them in blankets while you snuggle with them in your care?

I understand that the type of one-to-one care she is requesting of you is not always possible, but isn't that why there are regulations as to the number of adults to infants in a care setting? So the infants can get snuggles, rocked and sang to?

Also, is this baby under 6 months old? If he is, I can't imagine that the CIO method or whatever means he is going become "hoarse" from while at your house is probably not developmentally appropriate.

I think it is fabulous that the mom is sharing with you the exact way she does things so that you will be able to "read" her baby better. It doesn't mean that you HAVE to follow her methods or routine to a tee but I would hope that by "tackling this bull by the horns" you aren't meaning that this child's schedule or routine will be severely interupted or disregarded... if that is the case, the mom should know that and be allowed to exercise her right to find care that does meet her (and her child's) needs.

Babies this young absolutely need close contact with their provider and the "come to Jesus" moment with gravity that you have referred to probably shouldn't happen until the baby has made his adjustment to your environment and secure attachment to his caregiver.

I am sure you probably didn't mean the words as they sound (which come across as kind of harsh) and I am sure you are a very warm and caring provider but your response just sounds like you are mocking this mother and planning to disregard any and/or all of her wishes when it comes to the care of her child.

Like I said, I am not trying to start a debate, war, argument etc etc...but please re-read your words and pretend you are a parent having to leave your most loved and cherished angel with someone else, how would you take the words you wrote. I know my heart would break if I thought you really felt that way about my baby....or me as the whole tone is kind of like you are making fun of her.

I say this, because as a forum board, providers have a need to vent and get things off their chests, but you didn't even think so far as to put this in the Off-Topic section, but right out there on the open forum for any parent to read.....just kind of gives providers a bad image if parents thought we all felt this way.
Thank you for saying this.....I really didn't want too
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  #13  
Old 06-01-2012, 05:06 PM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
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And again. Clearly people misconstrue what I write or find my words "harsh" when in fact that was far from the case.
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  #14  
Old 06-01-2012, 05:11 PM
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I don't know she just sounds like she's trying to give you as much info as possible and she's worried. Personally I would appreciate this much information and it doesn't mean she's expecting you to do it all!
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  #15  
Old 06-01-2012, 05:12 PM
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Quote:
Crying is a babies natural way of exercising
I'm sorry but this statement just irritates me to no end! What does this even mean??
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  #16  
Old 06-01-2012, 05:14 PM
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I've honestly never heard that about crying.
Is there research out there that states this?
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  #17  
Old 06-01-2012, 05:49 PM
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Wow just wow!!!
WDMOM you are so right!!
3 to 4 hours sleeping, perfect for a 3 month old! 1 to 1.5 hours being held and fed, right on! Between tummy time and floor time or play time and walk time sounds like the perfect thing for baby.
Mom should be thankful to have you!

And the way you simply told mom about your program is great.
Alot of this snuggle time is what MOM NEEDS, but before much longer it will be what baby demands.

Last edited by MizzCheryl; 06-01-2012 at 06:33 PM. Reason: removed quote
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  #18  
Old 06-01-2012, 06:02 PM
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I would actually do a lot of that stuff anyway. But, the silly specifics would not be happening. It's nice that she wrote them out for you, but I wouldn't even remember 90% of that WITH the written note.

I have a new baby, he doesn't like food in his mouth. He hates having something touch his mouth. So, they have a special "dance" they do to distract him while he eats.

Dad hopes I learn the dance.

I hope dad feels stupid in a few years. I have zero intentions of doing a dance for a child who doesn't want anything to eat. Don't want to eat? Fine... we will try again later. He eats when he's not distracted by the kids.... as soon as they quiet down, he eats everything. He's just nosey.
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  #19  
Old 06-01-2012, 06:09 PM
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momofsix momofsix is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I do not mean this rudely (as I am not necessarily a "baby person" so I FULLY understand) but seriously?? You don't rock the babies, sing to the babies or wrap them in blankets while you snuggle with them in your care?

I understand that the type of one-to-one care she is requesting of you is not always possible, but isn't that why there are regulations as to the number of adults to infants in a care setting? So the infants can get snuggles, rocked and sang to?

Also, is this baby under 6 months old? If he is, I can't imagine that the CIO method or whatever means he is going become "hoarse" from while at your house is probably not developmentally appropriate.

I think it is fabulous that the mom is sharing with you the exact way she does things so that you will be able to "read" her baby better. It doesn't mean that you HAVE to follow her methods or routine to a tee but I would hope that by "tackling this bull by the horns" you aren't meaning that this child's schedule or routine will be severely interupted or disregarded... if that is the case, the mom should know that and be allowed to exercise her right to find care that does meet her (and her child's) needs.

Babies this young absolutely need close contact with their provider and the "come to Jesus" moment with gravity that you have referred to probably shouldn't happen until the baby has made his adjustment to your environment and secure attachment to his caregiver.

I am sure you probably didn't mean the words as they sound (which come across as kind of harsh) and I am sure you are a very warm and caring provider but your response just sounds like you are mocking this mother and planning to disregard any and/or all of her wishes when it comes to the care of her child.

Like I said, I am not trying to start a debate, war, argument etc etc...but please re-read your words and pretend you are a parent having to leave your most loved and cherished angel with someone else, how would you take the words you wrote. I know my heart would break if I thought you really felt that way about my baby....or me as the whole tone is kind of like you are making fun of her.

I say this, because as a forum board, providers have a need to vent and get things off their chests, but you didn't even think so far as to put this in the Off-Topic section, but right out there on the open forum for any parent to read.....just kind of gives providers a bad image if parents thought we all felt this way.
Very well put. Thank you.
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  #20  
Old 06-02-2012, 09:57 AM
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Huh? Why deletions here? Makes for impossible reading. Childish.
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  #21  
Old 06-02-2012, 11:52 AM
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Quote:
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Huh? Why deletions here? Makes for impossible reading. Childish.
Agreed. WTH?
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