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  #1  
Old 12-28-2010, 11:04 AM
Little People
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Default Newborn Won't Eat & Cries..HELP!!

I have a DCg 6 weeks old that started yesterday. Yesterday was a really bad day for the baby, she just would not eat much and cried a lot. I tried everything from walking to rocking and she cried on and off most the day. I let day know and also sent an infant gram home.

I ask mom this morning was she still breastfeeding and she said yes. I enrolled this baby 2 weeks ago and the mother was supposed to start feeding her from a bottle.
She ate (breast) this morning for mom at 8am and she is so hungry, I am trying to get her to eat but she will suck one or two sucks and then start crying. Mom has her on Enfamil Gentleease.

Any advice??
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:16 AM
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Do you have a medicine dropper? Sometimes it takes time for the babies to get used to bottle. A dropper might help get something in her so she isn't frantic hungry... once she's filled up a bit with the dropper, then try a bottle.
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:16 AM
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This is a big transition for an infant, so she's just going to take time, I'm sure, to adjust to the new environment of daycare. Maybe have mom bring one of her shirts or something with her scent on it so that baby can feel her mother's presence, it may help to calm her. I would also ask the mom if she could pump and store extra breast milk to feed the baby while she's at work, rather than switching back and forth between formula and breast milk. Lots of patience, and she will adjust fairly quickly. Good luck.
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:16 AM
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Oh and mom is BFing but not pumping?? Baby might not like the taste of formula. It is SO different in taste that no wonder she doesn't like the formula!
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:17 AM
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She hasn't been converted to a bottle nipple.

I REQUIRE all breastfed babies to eat a FULL bottle (whatever their ounces are per feeding) in front of me BEFORE I start them in care. The Mother must come and show me that the child can easily eat from a bottle.

I tell Moms this at the interview so there is NO fudging on it. They can't just say the words "she eats from a bottle" because their version of the child eating from it is often different than our version of it.

They can see their baby once take a few teaspoons out of a nipple and be satisfied. I want to see the baby take a WHOLE bottle without fatiguing. I want to see that the child has a good seal on the nipple and is not sucking air with every gulp.

When the Mom arrives have her sit down with a baby bottle and SHOW you how she does the BOTTLE. Do that today.
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
She hasn't been converted to a bottle nipple.

I REQUIRE all breastfed babies to eat a FULL bottle (whatever their ounces are per feeding) in front of me BEFORE I start them in care. The Mother must come and show me that the child can easily eat from a bottle.

I tell Moms this at the interview so there is NO fudging on it. They can't just say the words "she eats from a bottle" because their version of the child eating from it is often different than our version of it.

They can see their baby once take a few teaspoons out of a nipple and be satisfied. I want to see the baby take a WHOLE bottle without fatiguing. I want to see that the child has a good seal on the nipple and is not sucking air with every gulp.

When the Mom arrives have her sit down with a baby bottle and SHOW you how she does the BOTTLE. Do that today.
My only opinion on what you wrote is this: Sometimes a BF baby will NOT take a bottle from the mother. Maybe you can do as nannyde suggests, but you could also feed the baby the bottle instead of mommy. Sometimes a bf baby just expects boob from mommy and refuses a bottle.
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:21 AM
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Oh and mom is BFing but not pumping?? Baby might not like the taste of formula. It is SO different in taste that no wonder she doesn't like the formula!
No, mom is not pumping for me. she brought me formula. In our second interview she was to use formula and a bottle all last week. I do not believe she did. This is so hard on the baby and me.

It is 1pm and she has been crying on and off since 11:30. i will get her quiet for 10 minutes and then she starts crying and we start all over again. I am worn out!!
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
She hasn't been converted to a bottle nipple.

I REQUIRE all breastfed babies to eat a FULL bottle (whatever their ounces are per feeding) in front of me BEFORE I start them in care. The Mother must come and show me that the child can easily eat from a bottle.

I tell Moms this at the interview so there is NO fudging on it. They can't just say the words "she eats from a bottle" because their version of the child eating from it is often different than our version of it.

They can see their baby once take a few teaspoons out of a nipple and be satisfied. I want to see the baby take a WHOLE bottle without fatiguing. I want to see that the child has a good seal on the nipple and is not sucking air with every gulp.

When the Mom arrives have her sit down with a baby bottle and SHOW you how she does the BOTTLE. Do that today.
Mom does not pick up, dad does. Mom said dad called her 6 times last night. He said baby would not quit crying. Mom works till 9pm.
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:30 AM
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If she plans of bfing successfully, she needs to pump. Her supply will not keep up, plain and simple. It sucks to pump, I know, but if she is serious about BFing she needs to. :hugs: poor baby. I'd personally call and tell her to pick up early if she is inconsolable.
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:37 AM
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Originally Posted by KEG123 View Post
If she plans of bfing successfully, she needs to pump. Her supply will not keep up, plain and simple. It sucks to pump, I know, but if she is serious about BFing she needs to. :hugs: poor baby. I'd personally call and tell her to pick up early if she is inconsolable.
thank you, I just called mom, no answer..so I sent her a text. I want her to come here and feed her a bottle.
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  #11  
Old 12-28-2010, 11:38 AM
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I would have mom sleep on a receiving blanket to get moms smell. Then use it as shield so baby smells mom. Then make sure milk is warm. Sending love.....
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:53 AM
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My only opinion on what you wrote is this: Sometimes a BF baby will NOT take a bottle from the mother. Maybe you can do as nannyde suggests, but you could also feed the baby the bottle instead of mommy. Sometimes a bf baby just expects boob from mommy and refuses a bottle.
Yes I've heard of that but I haven't seen that in my population. I don't care who shows me they can do it.. they just need to show me 100 percent ease thru the whole process.

The other thing I do is require three nipples that have already been used by the baby. I do not accept new nipples during the first few months. I can tell by the nipple if it has been used. I can tell by the baby if the baby has had it.

The baby should be 100 percent bottle nipple trained before they start day care. I don't do ANY nipple training. Moms who take it seriously usually have the baby have one bottle per day minimum every day before the baby starts care. If they are given both bottle and breast from the go they usually do pretty well.

I watched this trial YEARS ago when Court TV was new where a day care provider was convicted of murder after snapping and slamming a breast fed baby who came to her not nipple trained despite the Moms assurance that she was. When it all came out the Moms version of her being able to take it was really not a baby drinking out of a bottle... it was more like a few sips at a time over hours of trying to feed her thru the nipple. IOW she wasn't trained at all.

After days of listening to and dealing with a baby in poor condition because of hunger the provider (who was very experienced and had a long standing business) just lost it on the kid. It was horrible.

I learned a lot from that trial with one major take away is not to accept any words but only action. I want a seasoned nipple sucker and I want used nipples so that when I have the kid the only thing new to them is me.
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:53 AM
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I have spoken with mom, she is going to see if employer will let her come here and feed baby. I will let you all know. Thank you all for wondeful advice!!
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:57 AM
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I would have mom sleep on a receiving blanket to get moms smell. Then use it as shield so baby smells mom. Then make sure milk is warm. Sending love.....
Yes I have them bring me a tshirt they have slept in for three days. I keep it for a couple of weeks and pop it on my shoulder under the burp cloth.

smellalicious for the baby
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  #15  
Old 12-28-2010, 11:58 AM
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It is not up to YOU to transition baby from breast to formula - the mother needs to do that. My boys were both breastfed and #2 boy NEVER took a bottle. This is unfair to you and the baby. She should start the introduction to a bottle with breast milk not formula as well. It's too much change all at once for the baby.

I don't understand why on earth someone would breastfeed for 6 weeks and expect the baby to take a bottle from someone else easily. If baby won't take the bottle from Mom who smells like milk, then Dad needs to help transition the baby.

I'd tell them that once baby is fully on bottle you'll take her back. Do not put up with this - it's torture for baby and you!
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:59 AM
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No, mom is not pumping for me. she brought me formula. In our second interview she was to use formula and a bottle all last week. I do not believe she did. This is so hard on the baby and me.

It is 1pm and she has been crying on and off since 11:30. i will get her quiet for 10 minutes and then she starts crying and we start all over again. I am worn out!!

Girl I think you got got.

You could have gotten the double whammy.... not used to formula and not used to the bottle nipple

YIKES

MAKE the Mom come NOW and have her feed the child a formula bottle right in front of you.
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  #17  
Old 12-28-2010, 12:22 PM
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I agree with using a medicine dropper.

Or what you can do is try to feed her BEFORE she is hungry. At 6 wks, she might be going through a growth spurt too.

Check the size of the nipple - breastfed babies do better with the slow flow (they are used to working for their food) and she could be stopping eating because it's coming out too quick.

<<HUGS>> - It gets easier though... And dont feel bad calling the mom. She needs to know that she has to work with you.
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  #18  
Old 12-28-2010, 12:34 PM
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I have spoken with mom, she is going to see if employer will let her come here and feed baby. I will let you all know. Thank you all for wondeful advice!!
Whether she feeds by breast feeding or feeds her a bottle.... either way do NOT allow the kid back until you SEE her eat a full feeding of whatever the Mom is sending to your house for the baby. If she is on formula at your house then she needs to eat a full bottle formula in front of you before she stays at your house.

If you have a deal where the baby has never had formula or never eaten a full bottle you will have the same problem a couple of hours after this mom feeds the baby.

I do not do ANY nipple training and NO dropper feeding. That's one to one private duty care that either needs to be done by the parents or someone who just has the baby and nothing else to do.

When you are dropperful feeding the amount of energy the child is getting from the food doesn't even come close to the amount of energy they are burning from hunger and fussing. You can't keep up no matter what.

If you want the truth ask Dad. Ask him if he has bottle fed the baby formula and how much.

You may find out that the Mom did NOTHING... no formula and no bottle. If that's the case she needs to stay home with the baby until she gets day care ready. There's no amount of money worth one to one care of a hungry infant. You think you are in over your head today... wait till you have a week of this under your belt.
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:44 PM
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I agree with nanny de!! If I receive breastfed babies, they have to be bottle fed, and used to it, before coming to daycare!
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:53 PM
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Sounds like Mom may have decided you were "Base" just like on the playground when we were kids... She only had to make it to 6 weeks and she was SAFE!!! I laughed so hard when I read the "works until 9pm"...she really covered home plate. Not everyone is born maternal...

I have had a few of those..they are the first one to throw out the "I have to work" but seem to forget that all of this was a choice they made. Not your choice or your responsibility, theirs.

I have had luck with the AVENT bottles, but this should be Mom's job like all PP have stated. Sorry you got stuck holding the bag.
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:57 PM
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Why wouldn't a Mom make sure that her baby was ready to go to daycare? Eating is kind of a big deal. I'm bitter today anyway, but I just don't understand some people.

Before I had to go back to work (in a previous life), we transitioned my kids to bottles long before they went to daycare. My husband fed them since I was breastfeeding and I pumped, but still. If my babies had any issues I would have made sure they were resolved, one way or another, before they went to daycare. I don't get it.

Hugs to you. A crying newborn is not fun.
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Old 12-28-2010, 01:55 PM
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Wow this really sucks for you. My infant is 7 weeks and took to the bottle last week no problem. I did it because it was too difficult for me to BF when I was out at the grocery store, errands etc. It also gave me a chance to do housework without being interupted while my fiance takes care of him. Of course I pump however so the baby still gets BM.

My baby does not like the formula regardless of what kind I try. I bought some so that in case I was out and ran out or if we wanted a full day off without the baby and my mom or MIL wanted to care for him they'd have back-up (or if I couldn't pump enough). So far I've tried Enfamil (regular), Enfamil Soy, Similac Advance, Similac Isomil Advance (soy) and he's refused all of them. He just doesn't want it. I've heard of nipple confusion, not knowing how to suck from a bottle and such but I've never experienced it from neither of my 2 kids so far. They both went back and forth from the nipple to a bottle easily. Good luck to you.
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Old 12-28-2010, 02:30 PM
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Ok, here it what happened. Mom came to my house (it took her 1 hour 20 minutes!) when she works 20 minutes away! The baby was screaming, my other kids got woke up and was only asleep for 1 hour..brrrr. She came in and took the baby and went to my couch and BF the baby!! I told her I wanted to see her feed the baby (I had a bottle ready) she said that they were having some trouble getting her to take the bottle!! BURRRR

She said last night Dad could not get her to take the bottle either and baby cried from 4pm to 9pm, she said when she got home she BF the baby and the baby slept all night!! (This was the first time baby slept all night).

She said it took her longer to get to my house because she called the doctor. The doctor wanted to know if baby had wet diapers (well how can baby have wet diapers when she is not eating) I told her I changed 2 diapers and both were a little wet. The doctor told her that there should be no problem with BF & Bottle feeding! I ask her why she was not pumping and sending BM, she said I thought it would be ok to do both!

I told her that I could not continue to do this and it was not fair to the baby and also to me and my other DCK's. I told her I was worn out! And that I felt bad because my other children did not get musc attention yesterday and today!

Baby is off tomorrow and she said she would do bottles all day!! I don't believe she will and Thursday will be the same thing!! I just talked with my hubby and we have decided I am going to call her and tell her that it is not working for me.

Everyone gave me such GREAT advice!! Thank you so very much!! I have taken care of babies before, but never a BF baby. I have learned so much on BF babies. I think I will stick to 16 months and up!!!

Again THANK YOU for such wonderful advice!! All kids are gone and I am going to go flop!!
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Old 12-28-2010, 02:49 PM
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You are doing the correct thing. I would tell the Mother until the baby is bottle ready for weeks and doing very well, on the nipple, I cannot allow her to come back to daycare. How ridiculous!!
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Old 12-28-2010, 02:58 PM
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Sounds like you're making the right decision. I wouldn't write off BF babies as a group though. Both mine were BF and ate like champs at daycare. The difference may have been that I pumped so they never even tried formula. I think it's the parents that are the issue - not the baby so much. Sounds like they were using the "easy button" (do what's easiest for them, not what's best for the child).

Enjoy your day tomorrow!
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Old 12-28-2010, 02:59 PM
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In this family's case I wonder if mixing formula with breast milk in a bottle would help...
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Old 12-28-2010, 03:15 PM
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Sounds like you're making the right decision. I wouldn't write off BF babies as a group though. Both mine were BF and ate like champs at daycare. The difference may have been that I pumped so they never even tried formula. I think it's the parents that are the issue - not the baby so much. Sounds like they were using the "easy button" (do what's easiest for them, not what's best for the child).

Enjoy your day tomorrow!
I've had several BF babies also and not had issues with bottle feeding. Some brought their own breast milk and some did formula in a bottle only. I have never had any issues but I do agree wholeheartedly with what nannnyde said about actually seeing the baby drink a bottle before allowing the baby to stay. I've never had to do that but I think it is a good idea should issues arise. The family/baby may turn out to be a wonderful family and I personally wouldn't term but I would not allow the child to return until eating from a bottle.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:48 PM
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Quote:
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she said that they were having some trouble getting her to take the bottle!! BURRRR
Ya think?

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Originally Posted by Little People View Post
She said last night Dad could not get her to take the bottle either and baby cried from 4pm to 9pm, she said when she got home she BF the baby and the baby slept all night!! (This was the first time baby slept all night).
They don't usually sleep through the night until about 3 months - poor thing was exausted!

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I told her that I could not continue to do this and it was not fair to the baby and also to me and my other DCK's. I told her I was worn out! And that I felt bad because my other children did not get musc attention yesterday and today!

Baby is off tomorrow and she said she would do bottles all day!! I don't believe she will and Thursday will be the same thing!! I just talked with my hubby and we have decided I am going to call her and tell her that it is not working for me.
Good for you! That mother is clueless - she needs to stay home and learn how to care for her child.
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Old 12-29-2010, 10:33 AM
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Wanted to give everyone who helped me with my update. I called babies mom this morning and told her I had prayed last night for the baby. She started off telling me, that when she got home she BF the baby again. Then she said when her hubby got home they fed the baby a bottle with formula. She said it was a struggle and took some time, but they did get her to take about 2oz. Then she said she BF again at 10pm and the baby slept all through the night. She said baby woke up at 5 this morning and she breast feed again and would be tring the bottle again today a couple of times. She still does not get it!!! I told her that I was sorry, but I could not keep the baby because I needed to share my time with ALL my DCK's. I ask her if she remembered us speaking about "her feeding the baby a bottle for 1 week"? She said "yes" but it was hard and I found it easier to BF. I again said I was sorry, and that I felt she needed to take another 2 weeks off from work and get the baby on a bottle. I told her I had all the babies stuff packed and to call me when she wanted to stop by and pick it up. I also told her i would refund her 2 days that she did not use, she said no keep it, since you spent so much money buying stuff for her. That was nice of her, but I am still going to refund her the 2 days. She was very sweet about everything, but I could tell she was crying some when we hung up. I don't feel bad because SHE KNEW she needed to get this baby on a bottle! I do feel bad that the baby had to spend 2 days of non stop crying!

I did get another call last night for a little 18 month girl (full time) and I have an interview set up for 4:30 tonight.

Again THANK YOU EVERYONE who posted and gave me GREAT ADVICE!!
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Old 12-29-2010, 01:54 PM
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Then she said when her hubby got home they fed the baby a bottle with formula. She said it was a struggle and took some time, but they did get her to take about 2oz.

She said "yes" but it was hard and I found it easier to BF.
Parent translations for "get her to take ABOUT 2 oz" means they got about a half ounce in her of drops that she actually swallowed.


You've given them an amazing gift. You have shown them that parenting the "easy" way can backfire in huge ways... like loss of money and loss of jobs.

She may have to go thru another day care or two before she understands that she HAS to make sure that her child can EAT when she's away from her. Sounds like a simple idea but obviously she had some magical thinking that if she just turfed the problem over it would be okay.
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Old 12-29-2010, 04:16 PM
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What I've done before is call Mom while the baby is screaming. They can't take the emotional pressure and it makes them feel really really guilty.

Also, if the baby is used to breast milk, the baby should get breast milk at your house. I've watched 2 siblings from one mom who would freeze them in ice cube trays, then put the cubes in a ziploc with the date on them. I kept a week's supply of the ziplocs in my freezer. Each cube was approx 1 ounce, so I'd just pop in 2, 4, 6, or whatever the baby was currently drinking. We had wide-mouth bottles and a bottle warmer the mom supplied. Worked sooo well, and that's how I'll require it from now on if I take another infant.
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Old 12-29-2010, 04:39 PM
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What I've done before is call Mom while the baby is screaming. They can't take the emotional pressure and it makes them feel really really guilty.

Also, if the baby is used to breast milk, the baby should get breast milk at your house. I've watched 2 siblings from one mom who would freeze them in ice cube trays, then put the cubes in a ziploc with the date on them. I kept a week's supply of the ziplocs in my freezer. Each cube was approx 1 ounce, so I'd just pop in 2, 4, 6, or whatever the baby was currently drinking. We had wide-mouth bottles and a bottle warmer the mom supplied. Worked sooo well, and that's how I'll require it from now on if I take another infant.
I did call mom while the baby was screaming and it took her about 1 hour 20 minutes to get here, and she works no more than 20 minutes away. This morning when i spoke to mom, she had BF the baby 2 times yesterday after picking up and this morning. I did call her and told her i would not take the baby back. I told her i had all her stuff packed up and I would refund the 2 days she would not be using and she said "no I want you to keep it because you bought so much stuff for her" I said no that is ok. She sent me a text at 4:30 and said we are on our way to pick up her things and the money!! When she got here I ask her if she was taking off another week or two to get her adjusted to the bottle, and she said "I have only gave her the bottle since I picked her up from you yesterday" Another lie! And that she was not taking off work and family members would be watching her till they found someone else. She had just told me this morning she BF 2 times yesterday and this morning!! I think this would of been a nightmare of a mom! I am glad I ended it now.
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Old 03-09-2011, 05:55 PM
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Default Unbelievable...

So, I have a 12 week old BF baby who has refused, REFUSED a bottle from me, her grandma, grandpa, and husband, despite our best efforts over the last 3 weeks. I am not going back to work for another month, but was researching "baby refusing bottle" like I do almost EVERY day trying to figure out what I can do- I am desperate.

I am ABSOLUTELY horrified at this forum, site, etc. Do you really believe that this lady hasn't tried? Any really, the only person who can make even a possibility of this claim is the original poster here who was watching the baby.

I have done everything, EVERYTHING in my power to get my child to take a bottle. She just refuses. It's real. It's out there. Many, many babies experience this refusal.

I am SO, SO, SO glad that I have a caring, compassionate daycare provider who keeps her site small so she can actually tend to children who aren't perfect upon delivery. It's a partership, I pay her great money so that we can work together on issues that arise.

I just cannot believe the ugliness on this site. Unbelievable.
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Old 03-09-2011, 07:31 PM
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I think it's pretty stupid for a mother to breastfeed a baby, fully knowing that they are going to put their kid in daycare at 6 weeks of age, and then just assume that the baby will be fine with a bottle and formula...if you want to exclusively breastfeed your child for 6 weeks, not pump, not introduce a bottle, you need to be a SAHM. Period.
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Old 03-09-2011, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
So, I have a 12 week old BF baby who has refused, REFUSED a bottle from me, her grandma, grandpa, and husband, despite our best efforts over the last 3 weeks. I am not going back to work for another month, but was researching "baby refusing bottle" like I do almost EVERY day trying to figure out what I can do- I am desperate.

I am ABSOLUTELY horrified at this forum, site, etc. Do you really believe that this lady hasn't tried? Any really, the only person who can make even a possibility of this claim is the original poster here who was watching the baby.

I have done everything, EVERYTHING in my power to get my child to take a bottle. She just refuses. It's real. It's out there. Many, many babies experience this refusal.

I am SO, SO, SO glad that I have a caring, compassionate daycare provider who keeps her site small so she can actually tend to children who aren't perfect upon delivery. It's a partership, I pay her great money so that we can work together on issues that arise.

I just cannot believe the ugliness on this site. Unbelievable.
who peed in your cheerios this morning? geez! Parents need to get a clue, providers aren't 2nd mommies, if you want your child to have a mommy all day who will coddle your baby and hold them 8 hours straight then stay home with your baby! I'm so sure you have a provider who does not mind at all that YOU haven't done YOUR JOB of preparing YOUR baby for daycare...you might just have a provider who doesn't have a backbone, or who is really desperate for the money and will put up with anything for a paycheck...
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Old 03-09-2011, 07:53 PM
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I can't stop laughing right now because the only vision I have is of my uncle who was so desperate to get his newborn son to stop crying while my aunt went shopping, he actually tried to get the baby to suck on his nipple thinking that he would stop crying. Lmao desperate times call for desperate measures
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Old 03-09-2011, 09:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
So, I have a 12 week old BF baby who has refused, REFUSED a bottle from me, her grandma, grandpa, and husband, despite our best efforts over the last 3 weeks. I am not going back to work for another month, but was researching "baby refusing bottle" like I do almost EVERY day trying to figure out what I can do- I am desperate.

I am ABSOLUTELY horrified at this forum, site, etc. Do you really believe that this lady hasn't tried? Any really, the only person who can make even a possibility of this claim is the original poster here who was watching the baby.

I have done everything, EVERYTHING in my power to get my child to take a bottle. She just refuses. It's real. It's out there. Many, many babies experience this refusal.

I am SO, SO, SO glad that I have a caring, compassionate daycare provider who keeps her site small so she can actually tend to children who aren't perfect upon delivery. It's a partership, I pay her great money so that we can work together on issues that arise.

I just cannot believe the ugliness on this site. Unbelievable.
Well the difference here is that you recognize that you require "something above the norm" that a typical group care situation can offer and "PAY GREAT MONEY" so you will be accommodated. You also choose a provider with less children if I understand correctly. You are much different then the above situation. Most parents just assume the provider will make do or something like that. Almost all the parents expect the level of care you are paying for but THEY DO NOT PAY more. This is not about money but it is about treating a child and provider fairly and preparing for group day care. It is not ugliness. You think a provider that is desparate to get a child to eat and so concerned she is asking what to do, how to do it etc. is ugliness? Ugliness would be conitnuing to take this families money and letting this continue for another day or two days etc., while continuing to ignore the other children in the daycare that are equally as important as this baby! Why are parents so offended by reality. I am not a provider but a parent with 3 young childre. I have stayed home, worked, used home day care and a Nanny at different points in my children's lives. These provider's take care of YOUR CHILDREN and they are telling you what they need to make your child and his daily environment happy . . . and you are calling it ugliness. Think about it . . . .
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Old 03-09-2011, 11:09 PM
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Ditto what everyone else said. This is important: you can not train a breastfed baby to drink from a bottle, (especially formula!) with ease! The mother, or preferably, the father has to do it.

My son would not have taken a bottle if it was formula, and he would not have taken it from me, because he would have wanted the real thing. He did take my breastmilk in a bottle from his father though. The most important thing is that the transition is hardest on the baby. I don't care how tired that mom is--she needs to pump and feed the baby her breastmilk from a bottle, or she needs to go cold turkey and feed it formula No matter what, it's best for the baby for her to do the work. It's not your job--unless you're just a very good soul.
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Old 03-10-2011, 04:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
So, I have a 12 week old BF baby who has refused, REFUSED a bottle from me, her grandma, grandpa, and husband, despite our best efforts over the last 3 weeks. I am not going back to work for another month, but was researching "baby refusing bottle" like I do almost EVERY day trying to figure out what I can do- I am desperate.

I am ABSOLUTELY horrified at this forum, site, etc. Do you really believe that this lady hasn't tried? Any really, the only person who can make even a possibility of this claim is the original poster here who was watching the baby.

I have done everything, EVERYTHING in my power to get my child to take a bottle. She just refuses. It's real. It's out there. Many, many babies experience this refusal.
I am SO, SO, SO glad that I have a caring, compassionate daycare provider who keeps her site small so she can actually tend to children who aren't perfect upon delivery. It's a partership, I pay her great money so that we can work together on issues that arise.[/b][/b][/b]I just cannot believe the ugliness on this site. Unbelievable.
UGLINESS ON THIS SITE?????
Why would you want to bash the OP...OH that is me
First of all, you need to go back and READ all my posts on this issue!!
Would you of rather for me to let that poor little baby cry all day long?? Would you of rather for me to let that poor little baby go hungry all day long??

If a parent KNOWS they have to go back to work and is BF their baby, don't you think it would be in the baby's best interest that THE PARENTS should not only start out BF, but also bottle feed, so when the time comes for the baby to be left at daycare....THE BABY WILL BE HAPPY AND BE FED??

Sounds like to me you needed to get something off your chest...Sorry you are having a hard time getting your baby to take a bottle. I hope you are paying your WONDERFUL PROVIDER big BUCKS!! I stand by all my posts on this subject and will not and would not again take a baby that can not take a bottle, that would be child neglect and I want NO PART OF IT!!

But in your post you said you were not going back to work for another month, but then you also said "I am SO, SO, SO glad that I have a caring, compassionate daycare provider who keeps her site small so she can actually tend to children who aren't perfect upon delivery. It's a partership, I pay her great money so that we can work together on issues that arise

I would say that if your baby can not and will not take a bottle, and you leave her at daycare and she will not eat....Is that not child neglect on your part??
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Old 03-10-2011, 05:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
So, I have a 12 week old BF baby who has refused, REFUSED a bottle from me, her grandma, grandpa, and husband, despite our best efforts over the last 3 weeks. I am not going back to work for another month, but was researching "baby refusing bottle" like I do almost EVERY day trying to figure out what I can do- I am desperate.

I am ABSOLUTELY horrified at this forum, site, etc. Do you really believe that this lady hasn't tried? Any really, the only person who can make even a possibility of this claim is the original poster here who was watching the baby.

I have done everything, EVERYTHING in my power to get my child to take a bottle. She just refuses. It's real. It's out there. Many, many babies experience this refusal.

I am SO, SO, SO glad that I have a caring, compassionate daycare provider who keeps her site small so she can actually tend to children who aren't perfect upon delivery. It's a partership, I pay her great money so that we can work together on issues that arise.

I just cannot believe the ugliness on this site. Unbelievable.
Well dear, welcome to parenthood. Just when you think you've figured out all the answers, they change the questions.

Making the commitment to breast feed is just that, a commitment. You may have to ask for an extension on your work leave but things should get better in another month when you can start to introduce cereal to your baby. You're going to have to wean the baby off 1 feeding at a time and be consistant about it. You can't try it at 9:00 am one day and Noon 3 days later. Your morning and evening feedings will be the last to go and hopefully you will be able to continue those two feedings after you go back to work.

You might want to start a thread on the Parent's forum asking for weaning suggestions or search the net.

Please don't attack the forum members here for being passionate about their jobs.

Nobody said it would be easy.
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Old 03-10-2011, 07:23 AM
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Default "I just cannot believe the ugliness on this site. Unbelievable."

I agree. Its in almost every thread. It makes me sad to think that people who make a profession teaching children to be caring individuals are actually harboring such feelings. Kindness is a way of life, not something you put on for show. Babies know when you hate their parents.

I had to feed my baby a bottle before I left the hospital. Required. I pumped from week one and had a stash all along. He drank from me, sitters and family, milk, milk and formula and straight formula. The week I had to pump and dump because of meds he almost drank nothing. From anyone. Two trips to the MD didn't resolve this.

Further - do not underestimate your expertise - educate the parents because they are in unfamiliar territory. Not everyone CAN be a sahm. Its practically illegal in some states unless you have a really big bank balance. Not everyone has a large extended family. I was really lucky to work from home during the early months.

The transition to care is something that has a lot of bumps. I can't imagine the agony this child must have felt. Everyone in the group has to work together, smooth the transition and remain kind.
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Old 03-10-2011, 09:16 AM
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Just noticed this thread was over a year old and removed my post.

Last edited by SandeeAR; 03-10-2011 at 09:17 AM. Reason: old thread
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Old 03-10-2011, 06:46 PM
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I agree. Its in almost every thread. It makes me sad to think that people who make a profession teaching children to be caring individuals are actually harboring such feelings. Kindness is a way of life, not something you put on for show. Babies know when you hate their parents.

I had to feed my baby a bottle before I left the hospital. Required. I pumped from week one and had a stash all along. He drank from me, sitters and family, milk, milk and formula and straight formula. The week I had to pump and dump because of meds he almost drank nothing. From anyone. Two trips to the MD didn't resolve this.

Further - do not underestimate your expertise - educate the parents because they are in unfamiliar territory. Not everyone CAN be a sahm. Its practically illegal in some states unless you have a really big bank balance. Not everyone has a large extended family. I was really lucky to work from home during the early months.

The transition to care is something that has a lot of bumps. I can't imagine the agony this child must have felt. Everyone in the group has to work together, smooth the transition and remain kind.
I am genuinely interested in what you mean as I am confused by your post. Harboring what feelings? an example of the ugliness? I am a parent and personally feel that these providers are trying to help.
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Old 03-10-2011, 07:16 PM
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Just noticed this thread was over a year old and removed my post.
The original post is just over two months old . . . It as made relevant again yesterday by the unregistered BFing Mom that introduced the "ugliness" concept. By the way, just trying to help in case you have something to say
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Old 03-11-2011, 04:14 AM
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Not everyone CAN be a sahm. Its practically illegal in some states unless you have a really big bank balance.
Illegal? Please quote your source for that.

I wondered why Daycare providers were so busy. Who knew?

Last edited by Kaddidle Care; 03-11-2011 at 04:16 AM. Reason: Misspell - lack of java.
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Old 03-11-2011, 07:01 AM
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Thumbs down Shame!

I am extremely frustrated with the way you all are speaking about this parent as though she intentionally decided to allow her breastfed child to starve. She does the right thing by breastfeeding. If she's a first time mom she's had a child for a whole 6 weeks. She's no expert. She's doing the best she can. I wish you'd all take some parent 101 classes.
You're speaking about this parent as though she's a liar and negelctful. Shame on you!
I hope she finds someone willing to work with her.
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Old 03-11-2011, 07:17 AM
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I am extremely frustrated with the way you all are speaking about this parent as though she intentionally decided to allow her breastfed child to starve. She does the right thing by breastfeeding. If she's a first time mom she's had a child for a whole 6 weeks. She's no expert. She's doing the best she can. I wish you'd all take some parent 101 classes.
You're speaking about this parent as though she's a liar and neglectful. Shame on you!
I hope she finds someone willing to work with her.

A 6 week old baby comes to daycare at 8am and is finally picked up by dcd at 4:30 and baby still has not taken a bottle and mom is still working till 9pm and baby still did not eat for dad.

So let me see...that would be 13 hours with about 2oz of formula IF THAT. So you think that it is ok for a baby to go that long without formula??
When mom KNEW at birth she MUST return to work. She KNEW baby would HAVE to be at daycare. Then why in the world would mom go AGAINST me and not introduce a bottle to this baby??? She had over 2 weeks before she brought the infant!

Again I stand by my original posts!! I would NEVER have even considered sending my child to daycare if she could not take a bottle, I would of taken a few more weeks to get her ready. Again mom was WRONG and I felt so sorry for that little baby.

And you know what....I really hope she did find someone who could help her too. I was not going to be a part of watching a infant that could not eat while in my care!! THAT MAKES ME A GREAT PROVIDER...FOR CARING!!

Last edited by Michael; 09-03-2011 at 03:54 PM.
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Old 03-11-2011, 07:29 AM
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I am extremely frustrated with the way you all are speaking about this parent as though she intentionally decided to allow her breastfed child to starve. She does the right thing by breastfeeding. If she's a first time mom she's had a child for a whole 6 weeks. She's no expert. She's doing the best she can. I wish you'd all take some parent 101 classes.
You're speaking about this parent as though she's a liar and negelctful. Shame on you!
I hope she finds someone willing to work with her.
Then why did the mom not start her on a bottle...KNOWING she enrolled this infant and KNOWING that we spoke that she needed to start the infant on a bottle?? She had over 2 weeks to do this!!

You stated she is doing the best she can then why would she bring a 6 week old baby to daycare knowing she did not work with the baby on taking a bottle?
Again I stand by my original post!!
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Old 03-11-2011, 07:46 AM
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I have a newly enrolled first time mom who wants her child to have breast milk instead of formula. She works full time and knows her child has tobe in care with someone other than her or her DH for a minimum of 8 hours per day, 5 days a week.

Her solution? She pumps her breast milk and puts it in a bottle so that the child gets the breast milk and it's benefits but puts it in a bottle so that the child will actually get the food she needs. I personally think that was a bit clever....good job on her part...she knew her responsibilities as a parent and still maintained the benefits for the child. As provider, I applaud her efforts to make everyone happy and to make it work!!!
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I am extremely frustrated with the way you all are speaking about this parent as though she intentionally decided to allow her breastfed child to starve. She does the right thing by breastfeeding. If she's a first time mom she's had a child for a whole 6 weeks. She's no expert. She's doing the best she can. I wish you'd all take some parent 101 classes.
You're speaking about this parent as though she's a liar and negelctful. Shame on you!
I hope she finds someone willing to work with her.
Um...she did intentionally decide to allow her breastfed child to starve....so I don't understand the disconnect.

She knew when the baby was born that she had to work, she still DECIDED to exclusively breastfeed

She DECIDED not to pump

She DECIDED not to introduce a bottle

She DECIDED to go against the providers wishes of having baby bottle fed for a week prior to starting daycare

She DECIDED to take over an hour to come feed her starving child...when she was 20 minutes away

I don't know about you...but I see a pattern forming...

Just because you CAN make a baby, doesn't mean you're ready to be a parent, and obviously if you don't have enough sense to know that your kid needs to eat...then maybe that "mother" is the one who needs a parenting class, not the providers who want a baby to be able to eat when they're hungry...
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:07 AM
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I have a newly enrolled first time mom who wants her child to have breast milk instead of formula. She works full time and knows her child has tobe in care with someone other than her or her DH for a minimum of 8 hours per day, 5 days a week.

Her solution? She pumps her breast milk and puts it in a bottle so that the child gets the breast milk and it's benefits but puts it in a bottle so that the child will actually get the food she needs. I personally think that was a bit clever....good job on her part...she knew her responsibilities as a parent and still maintained the benefits for the child. As provider, I applaud her efforts to make everyone happy and to make it work!!!
There must be a movement afoot, here. Every infant I've had over the past few years has been breastfed exclusively, and their loving mothers made sure that their babies were already experienced with taking their milk from a bottle before they started care. Imagine that, a mother who does what she needs to do to make sure her helpless infant will be able to eat comfortably at daycare .

I can't even imagine (really - I literally can't) how awful the OP felt having to care for this poor child.
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:19 AM
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Im still stuck on its illegal to be a sahm maybe impossible without a large bank account in this economy but illegal I must check into this
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:19 AM
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Um...she did intentionally decide to allow her breastfed child to starve....so I don't understand the disconnect.

She knew when the baby was born that she had to work, she still DECIDED to exclusively breastfeed

She DECIDED not to pump

She DECIDED not to introduce a bottle

She DECIDED to go against the providers wishes of having baby bottle fed for a week prior to starting daycare

She DECIDED to take over an hour to come feed her starving child...when she was 20 minutes away

I don't know about you...but I see a pattern forming...

Just because you CAN make a baby, doesn't mean you're ready to be a parent, and obviously if you don't have enough sense to know that your kid needs to eat...then maybe that "mother" is the one who needs a parenting class, not the providers who want a baby to be able to eat when they're hungry...
Very well said cillybean!! I think we got some trolls on here trying to keep this thing going and think they will upset me

I don't wear my feelings on my shoulders

There are some moms that want providers to to the mothers work

Thank You for a great input!!
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:20 AM
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Im still stuck on its illegal to be a sahm maybe impossible without a large bank account in this economy but illegal I must check into this
That was a funny post Let me know too if you find that info
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:21 AM
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Im still stuck on its illegal to be a sahm maybe impossible without a large bank account in this economy but illegal I must check into this
Maybe we could use it as a marketing tool .
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:22 AM
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Maybe we could use it as a marketing tool .
Think we could make a big bank account from it
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:22 AM
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yup it's probably a troll...but still this kind of stuff makes me mad! You should have to pass a test to be a parent...because some of these so called mothers are EPIC FAILS when it comes to parenting...no lie. lol
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Old 03-12-2011, 02:34 PM
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Default Do you all really care for babies?

I was the "troll" who originally came here to state that I can't believe the ugliness on this site. And yet after my post, most of the posters here says that the mom was irresponsible for not introducing a bottle to the baby.

What you all fail to respect is MY original post, the reason I found this thread/site in the first place. I have been pumping every day since my dd was 6 weeks old. I have been attempting to feed her a bottle EVERY day since then. We have tried it when she's sleepy, when she's awake, in the morning, in the evening, with me holding her nursing style, with her propped in a boppy, with her sitting in her bouncer. Grandma has tried, Grandpa has tried. My husband has tried.

There is just a population of breastfeed babies that refuse the bottle. Do your research. It's real. I am one of those miserable moms who is desperate to try and teach my baby to take a bottle.

In addition to researching this topic, please also research the benefits of breastmilk vs. formula. Our hospital/doctors/pediatrician are all HUGE advocates of the benefits of breastmilk. There is even new research that is showing that women who breastfeed for 4+ years over the course of raising their family have a significantly lower rate of breast cancer.

All of this I say to explain to you that many educated women, like myself, ARE TRYING. DESPERATELY trying. And 'taking a few more weeks' I doubt would be productive in my case. I have tried since week 6, and she is now 13 weeks. I go back to work in 4 weeks.

So please, PLEASE explain to me what I should do to make it easier on you. Sheesh, kick a girl when she's down! What happened to 'care' in the word 'caregiver'? Don't mask that you believe you are truly caring by sending the child home. Partner with the parent. HELP them.

It's proven that many children REFUSE the bottle from the mom because they can sense that the "goods" are only a few layers of fabric away. So in all actuality, it is usually a spouse, or patient caregiver who helps these babies develop this skill.

Again, this is just sad to hear everyone of you patting each other on the back like "yeah, you tell 'em!"
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Old 03-12-2011, 08:48 PM
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I was the "troll" who originally came here to state that I can't believe the ugliness on this site. And yet after my post, most of the posters here says that the mom was irresponsible for not introducing a bottle to the baby. There is no question that the parent that the OP talked about was irresponsible.

What you all fail to respect is MY original post, the reason I found this thread/site in the first place. I have been pumping every day since my dd was 6 weeks old. I have been attempting to feed her a bottle EVERY day since then. We have tried it when she's sleepy, when she's awake, in the morning, in the evening, with me holding her nursing style, with her propped in a boppy, with her sitting in her bouncer. Grandma has tried, Grandpa has tried. My husband has tried. In your first post you stated that you'd been trying for three weeks, which means you started at 9 weeks. I'm sorry to say it, but you probably should have started with both the bottle and breast from birth if you knew you were going to be continuing to breastfeed once you returned to work. I realize that's not helpful to you now, but it is what it is.

There is just a population of breastfeed babies that refuse the bottle. Do your research. It's real. I am one of those miserable moms who is desperate to try and teach my baby to take a bottle. Perhaps you can arrange to take a bit more time before you can return to work? If not, I'm glad that you have a terrific provider all lined up.

In addition to researching this topic, please also research the benefits of breastmilk vs. formula. Our hospital/doctors/pediatrician are all HUGE advocates of the benefits of breastmilk. There is even new research that is showing that women who breastfeed for 4+ years over the course of raising their family have a significantly lower rate of breast cancer. I don't believe anyone has questioned the benefits of breastfeeding.

All of this I say to explain to you that many educated women, like myself, ARE TRYING. DESPERATELY trying. And 'taking a few more weeks' I doubt would be productive in my case. I have tried since week 6, and she is now 13 weeks. I go back to work in 4 weeks. If your baby just won't take a bottle you may have to arrange time througout the day to pick him or her up to feed them, as I'm sure you don't want your baby to go without food all day.

So please, PLEASE explain to me what I should do to make it easier on you. Sheesh, kick a girl when she's down! What happened to 'care' in the word 'caregiver'? Don't mask that you believe you are truly caring by sending the child home. Partner with the parent. HELP them.

It's proven that many children REFUSE the bottle from the mom because they can sense that the "goods" are only a few layers of fabric away. So in all actuality, it is usually a spouse, or patient caregiver who helps these babies develop this skill.

Again, this is just sad to hear everyone of you patting each other on the back like "yeah, you tell 'em!"
Hopefully you will be able to resolve this before you return to work. Good luck.
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Old 03-13-2011, 06:49 AM
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I was the "troll" who originally came here to state that I can't believe the ugliness on this site.
Please make reference to which Unregistered posts you have made. It looks to me like this thread has 2 or 3 different unregistered posters.

Better yet, register and make up a name so that at least we can figure out what posts you are talking about.

This is confusing.

BTW - MY unregistered post http://daycare.com/forum/showpost.ph...1&postcount=15
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  #61  
Old 03-13-2011, 07:28 AM
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There is just a population of breastfeed babies that refuse the bottle. Do your research. It's real. I am one of those miserable moms who is desperate to try and teach my baby to take a bottle.

All of this I say to explain to you that many educated women, like myself, ARE TRYING. DESPERATELY trying. And 'taking a few more weeks' I doubt would be productive in my case. I have tried since week 6, and she is now 13 weeks. I go back to work in 4 weeks.

So please, PLEASE explain to me what I should do to make it easier on you. Sheesh, kick a girl when she's down! What happened to 'care' in the word 'caregiver'? Don't mask that you believe you are truly caring by sending the child home. Partner with the parent. HELP them.

It's proven that many children REFUSE the bottle from the mom because they can sense that the "goods" are only a few layers of fabric away. So in all actuality, it is usually a spouse, or patient caregiver who helps these babies develop this skill.

Again, this is just sad to hear everyone of you patting each other on the back like "yeah, you tell 'em!"
I think some of it is that you came into the "Providers" section where we were supporting the OP's feelings and frustrations. This is a common problem that is dumped on us....not by Mothers like you, most often. I do not know of a provider who would not bend over backwards to help a Mom who was really trying. We can see it in your eyes.

Your situation is not as common as the Moms who just do what is easiest for them. "I am paying you so why should I have to do the work?". It is real, I have been asked that very question

I have had several children transitioning to a cup with great difficulty to find that mom has gone back to co-sleeping and "free" breast feeding because she got tired of getting up at night. SHE was the one who asked me to transition to whole milk in a cup to begin with, how fair is that?? This is not uncommon in the 11-12th month when they start getting restless. At least at my house.....

I breastfed all 3 of my own children, my last 18 enrolled newborns were breast fed. Out of those only two had "bottle problems" due to prematurity. They did not get to work on sucking/latching on early due to being on ventilators.

Once they were discharged we did work as a team...endlessly. At their homes, and mine. One required tube feedings and I worked with that as well....

You came into a "Provider" venting/supporting thread, that is all.

I do want to mention that Breatsmilk is sweeter than formula, infants are naturally drawn to sweet (aren't we all??). Our La Leche coach recommends using a bit of glucose water in the bottles at first to teach them to like it better than the breast (just like they did in the hospital until your milk came down remember? Unless you were one of the lucky ones who had milk day one?). Then have Dad give the Breastmilk in the bottle with you out of the room for a bit (alternate every feeding breast/bottle). Deliberate and consistent.

Carnation Good Start is one of the sweeter ones on the market and babies go nuts for it...IMHE If you find yourself needing to supplement your supply.

Also, make sure any pacifier use is similar to the type of bottle nipple you are using (Avent works great for first transitions, Dr. Browns works great for colic even though they do leak a bit, it's worth it)

I am sure others will give you their advice, too.. Thats just what I have found to work here and I only enroll newborns. Mostly premature ones.

I do wish you luck and want to remind you that this phase is not forever, you are not alone and it will be worth it. Ok???
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Old 03-14-2011, 06:30 AM
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So, I have a 12 week old BF baby who has refused, REFUSED a bottle from me, her grandma, grandpa, and husband, despite our best efforts over the last 3 weeks. I am not going back to work for another month, but was researching "baby refusing bottle" like I do almost EVERY day trying to figure out what I can do- I am desperate.

I am ABSOLUTELY horrified at this forum, site, etc. Do you really believe that this lady hasn't tried? Any really, the only person who can make even a possibility of this claim is the original poster here who was watching the baby.

I have done everything, EVERYTHING in my power to get my child to take a bottle. She just refuses. It's real. It's out there. Many, many babies experience this refusal.

I am SO, SO, SO glad that I have a caring, compassionate daycare provider who keeps her site small so she can actually tend to children who aren't perfect upon delivery. It's a partership, I pay her great money so that we can work together on issues that arise.

I just cannot believe the ugliness on this site. Unbelievable.

Agreed!
My favorite is "What I've done before is call Mom while the baby is screaming. They can't take the emotional pressure and it makes them feel really really guilty."
Wow, what great parent relationships you must have.
I hope that poor new mother finds someone who cares more about the family she cares for than the money.
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Old 03-14-2011, 11:19 AM
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I haven't had any exclusively BF babies in my daycare yet, but I nursed all 3 of mine. The younger two never saw a bottle and were weaned straight to cups. I absolutely LOVED nursing (in spite of several years of sleep deprivation, cracked & bleeding nipples, etc., etc.) because it allowed me to bond with my babies in a way that NO ONE else could -- not their father, not their grandparents, no one. And I think that's an awesome thing. The mother/child bond was designed to be THAT intense.

I also think it's a wonderful thing when moms like unregistered get that. Props to you for BF'ing as much as possible! But I would humbly suggest that perhaps your little one isn't taking a bottle because he or she doesn't want to be separated from you. Is there any way you could manage to stay home, maybe even just until your LO is 9 or 10 months old? I didn't work for several years when my babies were little, and yes, it's a huge sacrifice financially. We weren't able to buy a house until 8 years after our oldest was born because of it. I only ever shopped second-hand, and we never had a new vehicle until very recently. But it was TOTALLY worth it! I got to spend all of that time with each of my kids, not having to struggle with bottle feeding, seeing their firsts, and being the only one they called "Mommy".

I know there are so many things to take into consideration, but I would encourage you to seriously take a look at whether it is possible to stay home with your baby for a little bit longer.

Honestly, I wish that every mom could stay home with their kids. It would put me out of business, but then I wouldn't have to see the look of guilt on a mama's face when her baby holds out his hands to me instead of her ....
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Old 09-03-2011, 02:25 PM
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This is obviously an old post, but the wonders of the internet allow what you write online to live on. I'm also a parent searching the web to find a solution to my child not eating enough at daycare.

It makes me so thankful that I have found a daycare provider who is working with me, and promotes breastfeeding. She even told me that she prefers it, as the children are sick less often, and therefore bring less illness to her center. I know this is not the first child she has helped learn the bottle and she is so reassuring when she shows me her other kids that have had issues and have now mastered the bottle. She does it with concern and tenderness for both my son and I, as it's a big transition for everyone.

I understand that this site is for daycare providers to share ideas, concerns and frustrations, and I think it's amazing that something like this exists, but I would be very cautious about what you post in such a public forum.

If I had a child being cared for by nannyde, I would yank them out as fast as I could. From your attitude, my takeaway is two fold. First, that you have no concern over the developmental of my child, and that you are going to take no interest in helping them learn new skills and second, that you do not trust yourself in stressful situations to not snap. If you are so effected by what you saw on the news that you won't even consider taking on an infant that is transitioning to a bottle because you feel it might be too stressful for you to handle, what happens when other issues arise that make a baby difficult to soothe? What happens during teething or transition to a cup or away from a pacifier? If you can't trust yourself not to snap over one issue, why would another be any different? I am fully aware that daycare providers are not parents, but you are with our children for the majority of the day. You may witness milestones before us, you may even know some of their preferences or quirks better than us, and I hope that take interest in the development of our children as they learn to sit up, crawl, and take solids and not just hand them over at the end of the day considering it a success that their basic needs were met.

Finally, I would suggest educating yourselves about breastfeed infants. Often they reverse cycle, and do chose not to eat from the bottle and rather from the breast at night. I suspect this is what my son is doing, as he prior to daycare he would take a bottle from us (we started three weeks prior to him going in and had some troubles but at the end he would take a full feeding at night) and now he is waking to eat when he used to sleep through the night. If this is the case, it is not neglect, or starvation, if they are eliminating enough and gaining weight.

You may peg me as a troll or what not, (which I think the definition is someone who posts something to stir up trouble) but I caution you all to be careful what you post in such a public manor. God I love my daycare provider, she'll be getting sweets on Tuesday and a fact check at Christmas.
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  #65  
Old 09-03-2011, 06:41 PM
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This is obviously an old post, but the wonders of the internet allow what you write online to live on. I'm also a parent searching the web to find a solution to my child not eating enough at daycare.

It makes me so thankful that I have found a daycare provider who is working with me, and promotes breastfeeding. She even told me that she prefers it, as the children are sick less often, and therefore bring less illness to her center. I know this is not the first child she has helped learn the bottle and she is so reassuring when she shows me her other kids that have had issues and have now mastered the bottle. She does it with concern and tenderness for both my son and I, as it's a big transition for everyone.

I understand that this site is for daycare providers to share ideas, concerns and frustrations, and I think it's amazing that something like this exists, but I would be very cautious about what you post in such a public forum.

If I had a child being cared for by nannyde, I would yank them out as fast as I could. From your attitude, my takeaway is two fold. First, that you have no concern over the developmental of my child, and that you are going to take no interest in helping them learn new skills and second, that you do not trust yourself in stressful situations to not snap. If you are so effected by what you saw on the news that you won't even consider taking on an infant that is transitioning to a bottle because you feel it might be too stressful for you to handle, what happens when other issues arise that make a baby difficult to soothe? What happens during teething or transition to a cup or away from a pacifier? If you can't trust yourself not to snap over one issue, why would another be any different? I am fully aware that daycare providers are not parents, but you are with our children for the majority of the day. You may witness milestones before us, you may even know some of their preferences or quirks better than us, and I hope that take interest in the development of our children as they learn to sit up, crawl, and take solids and not just hand them over at the end of the day considering it a success that their basic needs were met.

Finally, I would suggest educating yourselves about breastfeed infants. Often they reverse cycle, and do chose not to eat from the bottle and rather from the breast at night. I suspect this is what my son is doing, as he prior to daycare he would take a bottle from us (we started three weeks prior to him going in and had some troubles but at the end he would take a full feeding at night) and now he is waking to eat when he used to sleep through the night. If this is the case, it is not neglect, or starvation, if they are eliminating enough and gaining weight.

You may peg me as a troll or what not, (which I think the definition is someone who posts something to stir up trouble) but I caution you all to be careful what you post in such a public manor. God I love my daycare provider, she'll be getting sweets on Tuesday and a fact check at Christmas.
Since this is an old thread I will just repeat what I have said in the previous posts.

When interviewing a family with a breast fed baby it is best IMHO to make SURE the baby has converted or transitioned to a nipple BEFORE they start care. I accomplish this by having the baby eat a FULL bottle in front of me during the third interview and/or right before starting care. This tells me that the baby is completely capable of eating at care.

It's very important that a baby is never put in care before they can easily eat. This means they can take a bottle in your care or.. if you offer hosting breast feeding on site.. that the mother can come immediately if the child needs to be fed.

The original post is a textbook example of a really bad scenario where a baby was knowlngly left with a provider without the ability to eat and no immediate access to the mother.
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Old 09-03-2011, 07:37 PM
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damn it... I hate when I spend 10 min. reading a post and then realize its an old thread that was bumped.

I was feeling so bad for that little baby. I am pro-breastfeeding and have had many BF babies in my daycare and all have worked out perfectly. But I think the mom in the OP was seriously lacking the knowledge on how to transition the baby. You don't just send them off to daycare at 6 weeks old with formula and bottles - 2 things you're now admitting you NEVER used before even though the provider asked you to get the baby used to them before starting. I understand some BF babies won't ever take a bottle from mom, but will eventually take it from others - but this needed to start BEFORE the baby was thrown into daycare. How ANYONE can argue that simple fact is beyond me.
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Old 09-03-2011, 07:46 PM
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damn it... I hate when I spend 10 min. reading a post and then realize its an old thread that was bumped.

I was feeling so bad for that little baby. I am pro-breastfeeding and have had many BF babies in my daycare and all have worked out perfectly. But I think the mom in the OP was seriously lacking the knowledge on how to transition the baby. You don't just send them off to daycare at 6 weeks old with formula and bottles - 2 things you're now admitting you NEVER used before even though the provider asked you to get the baby used to them before starting. I understand some BF babies won't ever take a bottle from mom, but will eventually take it from others - but this needed to start BEFORE the baby was thrown into daycare. How ANYONE can argue that simple fact is beyond me.
Well it sounds like we are to have concern over the developmental skills of the child and take an interest in helping them learn new skills

That was a good thread tho. If you read Little's posts by themselves it is a really textbook case of how a provider learns to detect whether or not a baby is nipple transitioned, the horrible experience of being around a hungry baby you can't help, how it affects the emotions of the provider, how the parents react, and how it affects the care of the other children. Terrible story but a really really good lesson for providers.

This site is a treasure trove of real life examples of some of the hardest things to manage in child care. I love that.
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:29 PM
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Just thought I'd add this for anyone needing help in this area: Lots of people are just ignorant about breast feeding. I don't mean that to be hateful, I mean they really don't know information they need to know! Like the fact that the taste is TOTALLY different and that infants actually have to learn to suck a completely different way with a bottle than they do with a breast. And going back and forth can be confusing!! My youngest had an especially hard time with it and would NEVER take anything else from me! At a little over a year, never having had formula, she stole a drink of a baby's bottle and gagged! That's how different the taste is! Lol! I used a certain bottle called "Adiri." I ordered them from amazon.com. So, any of you parents dealing with this or providers who need to help parents dealing with this, that's a good first step. The bottle is actually very similar to the breast!
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Old 09-04-2011, 07:10 AM
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Just thought I'd add this for anyone needing help in this area: Lots of people are just ignorant about breast feeding. I don't mean that to be hateful, I mean they really don't know information they need to know! Like the fact that the taste is TOTALLY different and that infants actually have to learn to suck a completely different way with a bottle than they do with a breast. And going back and forth can be confusing!! My youngest had an especially hard time with it and would NEVER take anything else from me! At a little over a year, never having had formula, she stole a drink of a baby's bottle and gagged! That's how different the taste is! Lol! I used a certain bottle called "Adiri." I ordered them from amazon.com. So, any of you parents dealing with this or providers who need to help parents dealing with this, that's a good first step. The bottle is actually very similar to the breast!
I've only had a couple of formula babies in the last five years. I think it's been maybe three or so years since I had one.

So when I do the initial interview I tell the parents that the child must be able to eat a full feeding bottle here right before starting care. If they need help with info on nipple confusion or transition to please let their Doc know so they can help hook them up with someone to help.

They just start doing pumped and bottles at home when they are first born and switch the baby back and forth. By the time they get to me they can easily do both.

If a provider WANTS to be involved in transitioning to a nipple then that's a GREAT service to offer. I don't want to offer that. I love the first couple of weeks of havning a new baby. I really cherish that time and so do the other kids. I wouldn't want to add a layer of "learning" onto what the baby already has to learn to be here.

This way there isn't any gray area of "well he did a little"... he's doing better... he did it for Daddy a week ago... It's feed in front of me so I can see how the baby takes the nipple. One feeding tells me everything I need to know. I can tell how well the child does within a few minutes by just watching the suck, swallow, grasp, head movements, breathing pattern, and fatigue. Once I see experienced nipple sucker I'm good to go.

So the provider has the choice to educate themselves on how to transition and offer the service of transition or offer the service where they just receive infants who can readily take the nipple. I offer the latter and have the baby eat in front of me right before starting. If you offer transitioning you should be prepared for a significant amount of one to one care, a high amount of parent contact, and worse case scenario... an infant who does very poorly while in your care until the skill is learned. The older the baby gets the harder the transition in most cases.
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Old 09-04-2011, 12:55 PM
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I've only had a couple of formula babies in the last five years. I think it's been maybe three or so years since I had one.

So when I do the initial interview I tell the parents that the child must be able to eat a full feeding bottle here right before starting care. If they need help with info on nipple confusion or transition to please let their Doc know so they can help hook them up with someone to help.

They just start doing pumped and bottles at home when they are first born and switch the baby back and forth. By the time they get to me they can easily do both.

If a provider WANTS to be involved in transitioning to a nipple then that's a GREAT service to offer. I don't want to offer that. I love the first couple of weeks of havning a new baby. I really cherish that time and so do the other kids. I wouldn't want to add a layer of "learning" onto what the baby already has to learn to be here.

This way there isn't any gray area of "well he did a little"... he's doing better... he did it for Daddy a week ago... It's feed in front of me so I can see how the baby takes the nipple. One feebding tells me everything I need to know. I can tell how well the child does within a few minutes by just watching the suck, swallow, grasp, head movements, breathing pattern, and fatigue. Once I see experienced nipple sucker I'm good to go.

So the provider has the choice to educate themselves on how to transition and offer the service of transition or offer the service where they just receive infants who can readily take the nipple. I offer the latter and have the baby eat in front of me right before starting. If you offer transitioning you should be prepared for a significant amount of one to one care, a high amount of parent contact, and worse case scenario... an infant who does very poorly while in your care until the skill is learned. The older the baby gets the harder the transition in most cases.
I don't think it is, in any way, a good idea to accept a chld who isn't bottle ready! However, I feel like I have a wealth of knowlede I've come across over the years and that it is my job to help educate parents. I wasn't getting in to the issue of whether or not to term the child, just throwing that out there for anyone who the information might be helpful to! I would have absolutely taken the same action as the provider did and would have imparted any BF knowledge I had to offer upon parting ways! That's just how I roll.
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Old 01-10-2013, 07:24 PM
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Why wouldn't a Mom make sure that her baby was ready to go to daycare? Eating is kind of a big deal. I'm bitter today anyway, but I just don't understand some people.

Before I had to go back to work (in a previous life), we transitioned my kids to bottles long before they went to daycare. My husband fed them since I was breastfeeding and I pumped, but still. If my babies had any issues I would have made sure they were resolved, one way or another, before they went to daycare. I don't get it.

Hugs to you. A crying newborn is not fun.
Just because the baby is not taking bottles at dc does not mean mom didn't do her job to prepare him. My infant always takes a bottle, not even picky about nipples. He however so far will not eat at dc. Not every one can be at home till they chose not to.
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