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  #1  
Old 10-10-2013, 09:29 AM
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WImom WImom is offline
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Default Help With A 26 Month Old (My Vent And Advice Needed Please)

I have a 26m old DCB who is constantly wrecking my things. Ripping books (board books - trying to peel them apart), every single ride on car has the stickers peeled off, my wood kitchen has some of the decorations peeled off. He picks up the plastic table chairs and throws them, he tips over the baby doll crib, plastic kids table, etc.

My posters, circle time items, anything basically on my walls is getting worn on all the sides, corners because he can't leave them alone. Attempting to peel puzzle pictures off.

I have had all of these things in my room for years and no problems. This kid is here for a month and it's all getting broken.

I tried the Superyard so I could get things done with other kids, make lunch, he's okay for about 30 seconds and then he starts throwing things out of it and moving the thing all over the place, banging it on the wall.

Also, when I try to talk to him he WILL NOT look at me. He will just start repeating what every item is near. (Ie: I was telling him - We use nice hands with the books, books are for looking at - he is looking else where and saying Backpack over and over since we were by his backpack.) I feel like nothing I say is working.

EVERYTHING goes in the mouth - yesterday we were doing do a dots and I was right next to him, turned my back for a minute to help another child and turn around and he's got 1/2 the thing in his mouth sucking on the paint part!! I feel like he was getting better with mouthing and now it's soo bad again! I did tell him he had to be done painting because it was in his mouth. I say toys are for playing, not for eating atleast 100 times a day and he fills out "yucky bucket" up daily.

For the past four days when he is hurting friends or my things - I bring him to the table with a few little people (He can't break those) and tell him he can't play with my toys (or friends) if he is not being nice with them.

I have a feeling if I went to his house all of his toys, books, etc are probably trashed!!
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Old 10-10-2013, 09:38 AM
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craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
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Oh wow I totally feel for you!

Is there any way to give him an activity where it's ok to peel things apart... since he apparently loves it so much. Here I have floor to ceiling windows with reposition able window clings. I know that won't work for everyone, but they may also work on other surfaces?

Other providers have way more experience than I do, but I like to have something the kids can do where it's all right for them to be a little destructive, KWIM? One of my dck's likes to cut up our coloring books... so now we have a scrap paper bin and she can cut that stuff up whenever she pleases (as long as she cleans it up).

I hope you get some ideas!

Last edited by craftymissbeth; 10-10-2013 at 09:39 AM. Reason: Spelling
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Old 10-10-2013, 09:56 AM
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I don't know, for me I would place him in a playpen and give him toys to play with when you are busy. Once you throw them out, oh well too bad. I would also not use nice words when things are being damaged. I would use my very stern voice and tell hime "no". If you use too many words the meaning will get lost, so I use short words with them. Does he do these things at home too.
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Old 10-10-2013, 10:13 AM
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I was trying to not continue writing a book so I didn't include everything I do...lol. I do use a stern "no" and remove him from playing with that item/toy. I'm thinking he would climb out of a playpen? I don't have one - I'd have to buy one - I only do 2y+ so I've never needed it before. Maybe I'll check CL for a used one or are those like cribs where you always buy new? I don't' replace anything he throws out which is why he usually has nothing and then starts the banging and moving.
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Old 10-10-2013, 10:18 AM
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I have a DCG just like this! She is also into the hitting mode where she will hit the other kids and think it is funny. I have repeatedly told her it is not nice to hit others, but it doesn't seem to get through to her. Time outs do not work with her either. I have talked with her parents about this and she will hit her brother at home also, but they don't do much at home to get her to stop it, from what I gather. So it is a on going battle with her.
Sorry that your things are getting ruined by this child. My books also are getting ripped up and I refuse to buy anymore books until the kids can play with them nicely, which might be awhile. When they don't play nice with the toys, won't share etc. I will take the toys out of the room and put them in another room until they can play with them nice and sometimes they have almost no toys left to play with.
Same with when we do crafts, if they start throwing things on the floor, like crayons,paper etc, then we will stop and then they can not finish until they can behave. I think my kids are just in the testing mode right now and want to see how far they can take things before I say something, which is typical at this age. It takes a lot of patience to do what we do and I admire everyone of you that does daycare, we have a huge job to do and a lot of responsibility on our hands.
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Old 10-10-2013, 10:50 AM
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sometimes I have to use the word 'stop", that seems to work. i think he's a bit old to behave like this. do you think something else may be wrong.
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Old 10-10-2013, 10:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by care giver View Post
I have a DCG just like this! She is also into the hitting mode where she will hit the other kids and think it is funny. I have repeatedly told her it is not nice to hit others, but it doesn't seem to get through to her. Time outs do not work with her either. I have talked with her parents about this and she will hit her brother at home also, but they don't do much at home to get her to stop it, from what I gather. So it is a on going battle with her.
Sorry that your things are getting ruined by this child. My books also are getting ripped up and I refuse to buy anymore books until the kids can play with them nicely, which might be awhile. When they don't play nice with the toys, won't share etc. I will take the toys out of the room and put them in another room until they can play with them nice and sometimes they have almost no toys left to play with.
Same with when we do crafts, if they start throwing things on the floor, like crayons,paper etc, then we will stop and then they can not finish until they can behave. I think my kids are just in the testing mode right now and want to see how far they can take things before I say something, which is typical at this age. It takes a lot of patience to do what we do and I admire everyone of you that does daycare, we have a huge job to do and a lot of responsibility on our hands.


I like what you wrote-

I would give the child toys he can't ruin and let him play with other things that might be an issue when I could be all eyes on him. I would bolt down the play yard so he couldn't move it, and when he does tell him no, for times that he just needs a break from everyone.

I feel like the word NO is heavy these days for me. and so I like what you wrote, they are testing and learning and its normal behaviors but behaviors that we just want to quickly move out of as fast as possible. It does take a lot of patience with these littles~ There is so much repeat, rinse and repeat and then one day it just clicks- I find when it clicks with a child the neatest thing to experience, of course when we catch it, or stop to realize hey we made it through that phase. I think often we don't realize because one phase closes and another one opens and or another child goes through something.
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Old 10-10-2013, 11:17 AM
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Have you talked to his parents about it? Are they seeing this at home? Could it be a sensory issue? If so, you might be able to find some great solutions like weighted vests, sensory toys, etc -there's tons of info on this stuff. Just a thought.
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Old 10-10-2013, 02:56 PM
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holy cow. there is no way i would put up with this. if I could not get a child to show some progress in a month, I would absolutely let them go. sounds like he is really destructive and probably, someone is going to get hurt. you said he is picking up furniture and throwing it? are you sure you really want to keep working with this child?

I had one child that was really getting destructive and luckily, the mom decided to stay at home right before I was going to term. I stopped by their house a few months after that as the mom and I remained friends....this child's room was completely destroyed, there was broken things everywhere and blood on the walls! I was so shocked. This is a nice, middle class family and you would never think that they would allow so much trash and destruction in the house. I was speechless. I know this child eventually started preschool but they held her back one year for kindergarten. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she gets flagged special needs at some point.
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Old 10-10-2013, 03:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsmichelle View Post
Have you talked to his parents about it? Are they seeing this at home? Could it be a sensory issue? If so, you might be able to find some great solutions like weighted vests, sensory toys, etc -there's tons of info on this stuff. Just a thought.
My thought too- also the no eye contact and repeating one word over and over makes me wonder if there is more going on... What do the parents see at home? Do you feel like he is being defiant or just really doesn't get it?
I would be ok buying a porta crib used...
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Old 10-10-2013, 03:57 PM
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Honestly, I didn't want to jump the gun, but with the behaviors you described, I truly feel like there is something more going on. Something that traditional redirection and distraction may not work for. I also don't think negative reinforcement would be good. I don't want to throw out the big A word, but I would highly suggest talking to his parents and seeing if this is going on at home. I seriously couldn't believe this is only at daycare and I know I'm not a professional but my first thought would be some type of SPD or ASD. I love the suggestion to give him healthy ways he can enact these behaviors in the meantime, things he can peel and take apart and whatnot.
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