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Old 09-29-2015, 08:07 AM
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Default I need advice!

So i have been running a daycare for just over a year, and i do love it. It is an amazing job to have and the kids are amazing, at times. They all have their moments thats for sure! I have one little boy who I've had since i first opened up last september. He has always been very happy , loves other kids and talkative. His mom is a school teacher and both his parents are very loving and always work with me if theres problem. They are great parents. But as i said, school teacher. So he stays at home while she doesn't teach during the summer. its only 2 months. When he came back at the beginning of the school year he was very very happy for a couple weeks. Just recently he started going to nursery school one a week for a half day and comes to my daycare afterwards.

Since he's started going he is crying as soon as he walks in the door that he doesn't want his mom to go to work. I know he's probably just having separation anxiety but it is tough sometimes. He cries all day, is being aggressive but doesn't hurt anyone. and very grumpy. and as soon as his mom comes to pick him up he hides and puts up a fight to go home. This is frustrating as he had previously cried ALL day that he wants to go home and be with his mom.
Ive tried focusing on him more when he shows up, dirstacting him.. but "he just wants to do things with his mommy"

Does anyone have a similar problem? if so, how did you manage it? Im sure it will stope eventually but it makes me sad! He just turnt 3, and is a very very smart child.
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Old 09-29-2015, 08:36 AM
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I'm sorry. Mom has to work. Go play.
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Old 09-29-2015, 08:39 AM
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I find that this has made him cry more.. I have said this to him every day for the last week.. he knows but it turns into more tears.. but thanks!
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Old 09-29-2015, 08:42 AM
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That would be my automatic response. He's wanting a reaction from you. Do t give it. Give it when he's behaving appropriately. Or have him figure out a waiting spot. He can sit and wait for mom or he can play but he can't cry because it isn't nice to your friends.
Good luck.
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Old 09-29-2015, 08:58 AM
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I agree, don't give him the attention when he's crying.
Certainly give him the space to cry if he feels he needs to though. Within reason of course.

I have a very sensitive 3 year old dcg who, about 2-3 times a week needs her cry time in the morning.
When she does it (after mom or dad shut the door), I ask her to take a deep breath. If it continues, I tell her she can go to the bedroom (attached to our playroom) and cry in the bottom bunk. When she's ready to join her friends and stop crying, she can come out.

The door is never closed, but she has the space she needs to cry without disturbing the others.
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Old 09-29-2015, 10:36 AM
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This is what I do:

Are you feeling sad because mommy is at work?
Do you miss mommy?
I know that must be hard and it is ok to feel sad about that. Would you like a hug?

Then carry on with your day. Sometimes kids just need their feelings validated. He is sad and it's ok to cry. I know it's a PITA but this will pass eventually. My DCB just went through this phase too and it was tough. Group care for little ones is just not really "normal" as kids crave being with their parents. Now with the new preschool it is adding a bit more stress. The only thing you can do is be there for him BUT you also have to go about your day and care for others.
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Old 09-29-2015, 11:13 AM
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I give a little time for a hug and comfort. After that, if they still want to cry, I provide a crying spot. Mine is a chair separate from the play, but close enough that the child can see the fun they are missing.

If the child wants to cry, they can hang out in the crying spot. If they want to play, all they have to do is stop crying and they can come hang out with us. I usually make sure we start doing something really fun that will entice the child to join us. And, I keep reminding the child that they can come play whenever they are done with the crying spot.

The last child that I had like this was 2 when he started with me. At first he chose to cry alot. (Previous DC termed for crying) Within a week he was coming in ready to play. He is 4 now and he is one of my happiest munchkins!
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Old 09-29-2015, 11:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KSDC View Post
I give a little time for a hug and comfort. After that, if they still want to cry, I provide a crying spot. Mine is a chair separate from the play, but close enough that the child can see the fun they are missing.

If the child wants to cry, they can hang out in the crying spot. If they want to play, all they have to do is stop crying and they can come hang out with us. I usually make sure we start doing something really fun that will entice the child to join us. And, I keep reminding the child that they can come play whenever they are done with the crying spot.

The last child that I had like this was 2 when he started with me. At first he chose to cry alot. (Previous DC termed for crying) Within a week he was coming in ready to play. He is 4 now and he is one of my happiest munchkins!


That said, if the above didn't work, I would be conferencing with the parents and letting them know it can't continue. I agree that some kids may need reassurance. But all day crying in addition to aggression is too much on the provider and all the other kids.
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Old 09-30-2015, 05:58 AM
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Thank you all. I am going to give the no attention thing a shot.. Me and the mom are in communication everyday, i think that this will be my next suggestion as she is feeling bad and fed up with the crying.. It may create a few tougher mornings but id take a couple bad ones and then good over all bad! I may try to make a cry spot should not giving him the attention makes things worse. He does want to be alone but when left alone cries more. but i will try. I had been thinking this previously but wanted to see if there were better ideas! Thanks guys!
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