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Old 12-29-2010, 06:50 PM
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Default New 13 Month Old Boy - Cries Constantly!!

I have a new little boy that started in my care yesterday. I know he's new but he cries every single time I leave the room. Even for a second. Even if I just turn around and dont leave the room but he thinks Im going to leave, he starts crying. I went upstairs and left my husband downstairs with him for a minute and he screamed his head off! He is used to my husband about as much as he is used to me. He screams when a stranger comes into the house. He just basically cries all day, but MOSTLY when I leave him or he thinks Im leaving him. If im in the kitchen and he cant see me, he cries. If Im out of his sight but he can hear me, he screams because he can hear me but cant figure out where I am.

What can I do to relieve the headache I get from this? There are just times when I cant sit in the room with him all day long. I have to make meals and go pee and stuff! I know he is new and I expect some of this but this is more than Ive ever had to deal with with a child this age. Normally they get over it within a short amount of time. Not this little boy.
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Old 12-29-2010, 07:36 PM
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My new 14 mo dcg is like this. She's settling down after only 2 weeks in care, so my best advice is: do what you have to! Let him know that when you disappear you WILL come back (by demonstrating it over and over). When he's crying 'cause you left, give a quick hug and cuddle, tell him that it's okay, you'll always come back, and then go on about your business (even if he's still crying).

FWIW, my dcg started settling down within three or four days of being with me.
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Old 12-29-2010, 07:40 PM
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Thats kinda what I thought to. That it would stop after a bit. I do know that this little boy has been in 3 daycare homes since June. I think he's having a trust issue and a stranger issue. I did tell the parents that he cries when I leave the room, etc and that it would probably stop after a few days. I just hope he does now! LOL!! I'll have to come back and update here.
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Old 12-30-2010, 05:27 AM
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I have a dcb who is exactly like that and is now 14 months as well, but he started when he was 12 months and he STILL cries every time I"m out of sight, or need to go to the bathroom or change another dck's diaper etc...And his cry is SOOO irritating! I'm hoping it will eventually get better but so far it hasn't.
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:46 AM
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the screamer I termed 3 weeks ago was like this....behaved like everyday was the first day at daycare. The funny thing was I had him from November through June of last school year and he was just fine. He came back after summer break at 15 months old a completely different kid. i told my husband that I though he was held all summer break or something. Zero self soothing skills! I have lots of babies of my own and dck and my screamer was by far the worst experience ever! Most kids this age take a full week of care to settle in and the usually Monday mornings can be a bit rough for a little while. Chances are this new lil guy of yours will be just fine! Good Luck!
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Old 12-30-2010, 08:30 AM
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My 14 month crier is currently in the kitchen with everyone else NOT eating snack. She's choosing not to eat because she can't see me. I'm tired of having to be within sight of her while she's eating (she's not even happy when I freaking turn my BACK), so I'm sitting where I can see everyone but her and waiting for her to settle down and be happy without me. She'd been good until I posted last night that she'd settled down!
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Old 12-30-2010, 10:23 AM
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This seperation anxiety could last a few weeks, and it could last alot longer than this!! I finally had to terminate one after one month of this!! It's not fair to the other children in daycare, the baby, and myself!! Good thing we all have patience!!!
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Old 12-30-2010, 10:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25 View Post
My 14 month crier is currently in the kitchen with everyone else NOT eating snack. She's choosing not to eat because she can't see me. I'm tired of having to be within sight of her while she's eating (she's not even happy when I freaking turn my BACK), so I'm sitting where I can see everyone but her and waiting for her to settle down and be happy without me. She'd been good until I posted last night that she'd settled down!
Thats whats happening here. I turn my back and Im still in sight and he starts screaming. Dont even get me started at what happens when I even head toward the front door!! (Not that Im leaving, just walking in that general direction!)

What I did notice today though was that he did MUCH better in his playpen! He wasnt unhappy at all and I think he enjoyed kinda watching how things were going along without actually being involved in it. After about 20 minutes of watching, he wanted out. I let him out and he played with some of the toys. After about 15 minutes he wanted back in his playpen.

We'll see how that works for awhile. I did have to take some Bayer yesterday because the crying was driving me crazy. LOL. So far today, not as bad.
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Old 12-30-2010, 01:08 PM
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Not fun!! I had a dcb who started here at 13 mos and he did it for a little over 8 weeks. His mom once said something about how well he did transitioning to daycare and I wanted to punch her in the face. I said "honestly (moms name), that was 8 weeks of pure h*ll". She just looked at me shocked. She brought him to my house, he didnt know how to nap, had never been in a pack-n-play. He literally screamed for 2 hours straight during naptime. It was horrible. And it was the same thing. He followed me around and if I took even 1 step away from him he would cry. It was nerve wracking. Now he does great, but it literally drained me trying to cope with the whining and crying. Good luck.
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Old 12-30-2010, 01:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by broncomom1973 View Post
Not fun!! I had a dcb who started here at 13 mos and he did it for a little over 8 weeks. His mom once said something about how well he did transitioning to daycare and I wanted to punch her in the face. I said "honestly (moms name), that was 8 weeks of pure h*ll". She just looked at me shocked. She brought him to my house, he didnt know how to nap, had never been in a pack-n-play. He literally screamed for 2 hours straight during naptime. It was horrible. And it was the same thing. He followed me around and if I took even 1 step away from him he would cry. It was nerve wracking. Now he does great, but it literally drained me trying to cope with the whining and crying. Good luck.
So if you had to do it again with a similar kid ...would you? I know when I first started I was much more willing to stick it out but after 17 years I don't have as much patience as I used too...crying/screaming gets to me much more now!!
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Old 12-30-2010, 01:21 PM
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NO! He was one of the 1st kids at my daycare and I went out of my way to make sure that he transitioned into my daycare. After having other kiddos, now I know how easy it CAN be. If I had someone start and they did that for very long, I would get rid of them. It really isnt worth the stress.
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Old 12-30-2010, 01:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by broncomom1973 View Post
NO! He was one of the 1st kids at my daycare and I went out of my way to make sure that he transitioned into my daycare. After having other kiddos, now I know how easy it CAN be. If I had someone start and they did that for very long, I would get rid of them. It really isnt worth the stress.
I totally agree, you live and learn!
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