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Old 01-12-2011, 04:53 AM
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Default How Do You Manage

A crying whiny 3yr old. I'm seriosly at my wits end. She is so emotional. She has been crying since she walked in this morning. Over a poptart! Came in with it wrapped. I put on counter and said She can have when its breakfast time. We have eaten now and she lost her food because se wouldn't stop crying at the table. I'm so tempted to let This family go. I just do not feel like I can cater to her anymore. She is so spoiled And given eveverything by her parents. She has been here since September but her behaviour has gotten worse. The parents are no help. Does anyone have a similar problem? Any advice? Please do not bash me or critisize me. I'm looking for support. Thanks
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Old 01-12-2011, 05:27 AM
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I've got her male counterpart here this morning. His problem? Mom didn't bring his poptarts. Of course, with this kid, if it's not one thing, it's another. And of course, the parents are always "Oh honey, it's all right, don't cry" blah, blah, blah. Good grief. I don't ever remember my children behaving this way. I would be so embarrassed.

Sorry I don't have anything in the way of advice - just support .
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Old 01-12-2011, 05:45 AM
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I have a family just like that with two girls only one comes full time the other one comes on days off but the parents jump through the hoop for these two and I don't. I am not going to watch the older one this summer and I hope maybe if I do that the other one will go to a preschool in the fall and I will be done with the family I don't want to let them go til I find someone else to replace them and I have an opening for an infant in May so I'm hoping that I fill that spot and then don't lose income
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Old 01-12-2011, 05:49 AM
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When I have cryers(sp??), I simply tell them that they are welcome to go sit at the kitchen table till they are ready to particpate in the day like everyone else. I have kids like this off and on through the years and I think the main thing is that when they cry and whine to their parents they get what they are wanting. When they cry and whine at daycare, they sit at the kitchen table. Funny thing is, my neice is one of the worst right now, so when she starts, to the table she goes. Usually they soon figure out that it won't work here and move on. Though I have had one girl who never got it. They moved on as I told them I didn't feel I was a good fit for her, which I did truly believe, it wasn't just the whining crying. Long story short, stick her by herself and let her cry if she wants.
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Old 01-12-2011, 06:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoDaycareMom View Post
When I have cryers(sp??), I simply tell them that they are welcome to go sit at the kitchen table till they are ready to particpate in the day like everyone else. I have kids like this off and on through the years and I think the main thing is that when they cry and whine to their parents they get what they are wanting. When they cry and whine at daycare, they sit at the kitchen table. Funny thing is, my neice is one of the worst right now, so when she starts, to the table she goes. Usually they soon figure out that it won't work here and move on. Though I have had one girl who never got it. They moved on as I told them I didn't feel I was a good fit for her, which I did truly believe, it wasn't just the whining crying. Long story short, stick her by herself and let her cry if she wants.
I use the corner, they can sit there as long as they want. Just don't give in, they will get it, trust me. I did have a 3 yr old that just cried and cried, and I had him for a month. Nothing worked, he wanted his brother all day (even thou he was in school) so I did let him go so fast foward to a couple of weeks ago---I saw this kids (3 yrs later) and it turns out he has "some issues" I should have know something was up just by the way he acted. I wonder if mom ever finished her schooling.
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Old 01-12-2011, 06:36 AM
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I use my kitchen also for cryers. As long as you can tolerate the crying and not breakdown, it usually works. So far it has for me. After the child sees your not gonna cater to her every whim and give her the way she wants, it's worth it to listen to the crying it out a few days.
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Old 01-12-2011, 06:49 AM
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Originally Posted by alyssyn View Post
I use my kitchen also for cryers. As long as you can tolerate the crying and not breakdown, it usually works. So far it has for me. After the child sees your not gonna cater to her every whim and give her the way she wants, it's worth it to listen to the crying it out a few days.
I say, do you need the crying chair? Then if they don't stop they sit til they do. It's the tattle chair, crying chair, ugly attitude chair. Etc.
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Old 01-12-2011, 07:19 AM
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I do the crying door. Works perfectly, even with my 2 2 year olds. Before I did the crying door, I would have them throw their fit on the time out rug or tell them they must be tired since they are crying so much. The threat of having to lay on their nap mat works wonders also. Stay strong and she'll get the point that you won't put up with fits/tantrums.
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Old 01-12-2011, 07:55 AM
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I also have a similar child (the 3.5 yr old who was put back into van after mom let her out so she could re-buckle her own seatbelt). Her parents are very unsupportive because I think they honestly think it is easier to give in than to put their foot down and parent, so I have been working on changing the little girls behavior. We have discussions about how she behaves when her parents are here to drop off or pick up and how the other 3.5 yr olds don't do that. I ask her if she feels like a big girl when she behaves like she does....then we talk about how she could behave differently. I also try to remind her right before and right after pick up and drop off that she needs to be a big girl. If she complies she is rewarded and if she doesn't comply, she is punished. (She gets to sit in what others are calling the crying chair/room/area etc) I feel she is big enough to remember our discussions about how to properly behave like a big girl. I feel it helps to talk with her about it because then she has some sense of control over the issue if I leave it up to her. I think she responds well if it is HER responsibility, regardless of how her parents treat her...SHE is still responsibille for how she acts. I find it much easier to change a child's behavior than a parents.
Maybe sit down with her and have her come up with solutions and consequences to how she acts. If she has some ownership in it and some control over the consequence she may be more apt to respond better and behave better....after all that is what she is used to is doing; things her way so give her the choices that work for you and let her decide. Good luck, it is definately a loooong road but I am seeing some progress with my "princess" after only a few days so hang in there.....

Oh, and when I say reward I don't mean a treat I mean praise in over load for being a big girl....builds her ego
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Old 01-12-2011, 08:02 AM
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Oh man I feel your pain...

when DCK do this, I usualy ask whats wrong, allow them to express their feelings....Its usually nonsense, but sometimes they are sad for other reasons. I try to validate their feelings.....BUT if its at the point where you are, I just ignor it. I will tell them, Im really sorry you are up set, and its ok to be upset or mad or ___________________. However, if you would like to whine, scream, cry or anything like that, then you will have to sit in the front room until you are ready to join our happy group.
If they keep on with their actions, I will tell them and so will the other DCKS " Can you please stop_________you are really hurting my ears....After this they get ignored...
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Old 01-12-2011, 04:59 PM
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Default I can relate...

I have not one, but two girls like that! I think that it has a lot to do with what they can get away with their parents and what they think they can get away with with everyone else. One of my girls is much worse than the other girl, but they are both little drama queens. I just simply ignore the morning drop-off hysterics that one of my girls is pulling on a daily basis because I know that once her mom walks out the door, then she'll immediately stop. I just tell her to go and cry in the hallway if she feels like she needs to and when she's done, she can come back and join us for breakfast. She pretty much saves the drama for her momma (and her dad) because she knows me well enough to know that it won't accomplish anything good with me.

My other girl who is a drama queen is really coddled by her dad in particular and as a result, pretty much nothing that she could ever do will even get her a TO from her parents. Watching the mom try to make 1-2-3 magic work is hard to watch because dad is totally torpedo-ing her efforts.
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