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Old 02-02-2011, 11:32 AM
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Default Trouble With DCB

I have had this 16 mo. old dkb for 6 months or so now, who yells all the time. Its not a cry, and no words, more like a siren. he does this all the time, unless he has food, or he is in his highchair or portacrib. I cant keep him contained all day of course, and I cant feed him all day, so most of the time he is yelling.
I have tried figuring out what he wants, and its really nothing. He isnt sick, hurt, hungry, or homesick (He seems excited to get here in the mornings, and gets upset when its time to leave.)
I have tried ignoring him til he gets quiet, then rewarding him and praising him for not yelling. but as soon as I pay him any attention, even turn to look at him, he is back to yelling, before I get the chance to praise him.
I have tried putting him in his portacrib until he can be quiet, but he starts as soon as I let him back out.
Basically I have run out of Ideas. His mom doesnt seem to notice his yelling, and even picks him up and hugs and kisses him and baby talks him when he does it, then laughes and talks about how cute he is, so no help there.
My husband wants me to term him. he says he almost doesnt want to come home from work on days dkb is here because of all the noise. I still want to try to help him, I keep thinking there is something I can do to change his behavior, or maybe he'll grow out of it? At the same time, Im losing patience, and I am starting to think more about how I would give his mom her 2 weeks notice. I cant just say, your kid annoys me, for example
I would really appriciate any suggestions on how to help this dkb, and if that doesnt work, I would also like suggestions on how to work a term notice...
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Old 02-02-2011, 11:45 AM
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I know you have said you've already tried putting him in a pnp and taking him back out. I did this with my dcg and it worked. Everytime you put him in there, make him stay there a little bit longer. When you take him out, if he does it, instantly put him back there again. This method does work. But it's consistency. And sometimes it takes ALOT of work to finally get a result. Some kids may be 1 day of being put in it, others might be a few weeks. But if you try something for a few days/weeks, and then switch to somethign else, it's not consistent. Does that make sense?
I'm sorry you are still dealing with this. Advise the parents that when this behavior is happening at home, it must be dealt with, or unfortunately this child will not fit in with the rest of the daycare. It is a distraction, a disturbance, and it is creating issues beyond your control. If there is no improvement within the next 2 weeks, this is your final notice. OR something like that. Explain to mom when she laughs and hugs and giggles about the behavior she is reinforcing it. In your home it is not acceptable, and if it continues, they will need to look elsewhere.
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Old 02-02-2011, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fro View Post
His mom doesnt seem to notice his yelling, and even picks him up and hugs and kisses him and baby talks him when he does it, then laughes and talks about how cute he is, so no help there
This makes me think he has trained his mom to give him attention when he screams. the best way to break it is to give him attention only when he is quiet.

I have no idea if this would work but i think there is a good chance it may. Could you have a PNP in the middle of the playroom that you can talk to him in, since he is quiet there? When he sees you interacting with him when he is quiet there, pull him out, let him yell and don't even look at him. If he doens't stop, put him back in the PNP until he is quiet then give him attention again?
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Old 02-02-2011, 11:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fro View Post
I have had this 16 mo. old dkb for 6 months or so now, who yells all the time. Its not a cry, and no words, more like a siren. he does this all the time, unless he has food, or he is in his highchair or portacrib. I cant keep him contained all day of course, and I cant feed him all day, so most of the time he is yelling.
I have tried figuring out what he wants, and its really nothing. He isnt sick, hurt, hungry, or homesick (He seems excited to get here in the mornings, and gets upset when its time to leave.)
I have tried ignoring him til he gets quiet, then rewarding him and praising him for not yelling. but as soon as I pay him any attention, even turn to look at him, he is back to yelling, before I get the chance to praise him.
I have tried putting him in his portacrib until he can be quiet, but he starts as soon as I let him back out.
Basically I have run out of Ideas. His mom doesnt seem to notice his yelling, and even picks him up and hugs and kisses him and baby talks him when he does it, then laughes and talks about how cute he is, so no help there.
My husband wants me to term him. he says he almost doesnt want to come home from work on days dkb is here because of all the noise. I still want to try to help him, I keep thinking there is something I can do to change his behavior, or maybe he'll grow out of it? At the same time, Im losing patience, and I am starting to think more about how I would give his mom her 2 weeks notice. I cant just say, your kid annoys me, for example
I would really appriciate any suggestions on how to help this dkb, and if that doesnt work, I would also like suggestions on how to work a term notice...
how many days of the week does he attend?
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Old 02-02-2011, 12:37 PM
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The fact that the mother thinks it is cute/funny raises red flags for me and over time I have learned that if parents won't work with me, I need to terminate--easier said then done though, I know...each situation is different. I had a family in my dc and the younger son was the WORST behaved child I have ever come into contact with. I know his parents and they do not discipline their kids at all and suck up to them for EVERYTHING! I tried with them for a year and finally gave up and terminated. I was so so so much happier once they were gone!
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Old 02-02-2011, 01:10 PM
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Thx for the replies
He is here 4 days a week, all day.
I guess what I will probably do is talk to his mom today and tell her that his behavior is really disrupting the other kids routines, and that we need to figure something out. If that doesnt work, then I will have to give her notice. I am half afraid she will get upset at the suggestion that her kid isnt perfect though, but I guess the worst that can happen is she will leave.
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Old 02-02-2011, 01:57 PM
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Parents are always sensitive when it comes to their children. They know that their child is not perfect and they don't want to have to be told this. You just have to remember that this is a place of business and so
Sometimes have to detach your emotions when making decisions. I know it's hard I a softy too. I am very attached to my DCK and sometimes let my emotions make the decisions for me, which always turns out bad.
I think you have been given some good advice and now need to make a plan of action and let your business side make the decisions.
I hope it goes well!!!
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Old 02-02-2011, 02:58 PM
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Have you tried to teach him baby sign language? If he can't speak any words or no verbal. I would recommend to teach him sign language so he will calm down to tell you what he wants. To me, I think it is most silly thing to terminate him because of loud noise. If you can't stand to hear him to yell to get your attention. Why don't you use big metal bowl to close his face when he yelled and it will go back to him to hurt his ears. It will help him to realize how loud he is. If he is deaf, oh well.
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Old 02-02-2011, 06:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fro View Post
I have had this 16 mo. old dkb for 6 months or so now, who yells all the time. Its not a cry, and no words, more like a siren. he does this all the time, unless he has food, or he is in his highchair or portacrib. I cant keep him contained all day of course, and I cant feed him all day, so most of the time he is yelling.
I have tried figuring out what he wants, and its really nothing. He isnt sick, hurt, hungry, or homesick (He seems excited to get here in the mornings, and gets upset when its time to leave.)
I have tried ignoring him til he gets quiet, then rewarding him and praising him for not yelling. but as soon as I pay him any attention, even turn to look at him, he is back to yelling, before I get the chance to praise him.
I have tried putting him in his portacrib until he can be quiet, but he starts as soon as I let him back out.
Basically I have run out of Ideas. His mom doesnt seem to notice his yelling, and even picks him up and hugs and kisses him and baby talks him when he does it, then laughes and talks about how cute he is, so no help there.
My husband wants me to term him. he says he almost doesnt want to come home from work on days dkb is here because of all the noise. I still want to try to help him, I keep thinking there is something I can do to change his behavior, or maybe he'll grow out of it? At the same time, Im losing patience, and I am starting to think more about how I would give his mom her 2 weeks notice. I cant just say, your kid annoys me, for example
I would really appriciate any suggestions on how to help this dkb, and if that doesnt work, I would also like suggestions on how to work a term notice...
Sounds like what my son sounded like. He had colic.
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