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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do You Become Friends?
BentleysBands 03:57 AM 10-08-2010
with your daycare parents? Or is it strictly business ?

I have become friends with several of my dcp's , one is my BFF now after 4yrs ...i try not to do this but im so friendly and love hanging out with them on weekends,etc.

I do keep a line there and try NOT to cross. But have in the past and got burnt.

So, if your friends with dcp's how do you balance business and friendship?
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kidkair 04:16 AM 10-08-2010
I have become friends with a couple families. We do game night every so often with them. I also care for my sister's kids. I keep the balance by making sure I don't over work myself. When I'm with the other parents it's often at their house and after their child goes to bed. If their kid is up I remind myself that I'm off duty and will interact only when necessary keeping most of my focus on the parents and adult conversations. When I'm at my sister's I do the same though she usually starts crossing the line more. If I'm asked to many questions about work I'll just say my answer and then "But that's work and I'm here for fun so lets talk about something else".
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 04:26 AM 10-08-2010
I become friendly and chat with them and text one of them, sometimes about daycare stuff (good of coarse, lol), sometimes about general things. But I haven't hung out with them. I would say good acquaintances.
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tmcp2001 04:54 AM 10-08-2010
Nope! Was burned badly once and won't do that again! I found that even if you become friends with someone, it doesn't mean that they respect you or what you do for a living. And it hurts that much more when someone you thought was a friend could behave like that.

It's too bad too - I love all of my families and could see myself becoming friends with 2 of the moms but I'm not going there again.
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gbcc 05:23 AM 10-08-2010
I try extremely hard not to. I have not had good experiences with this. I have one parent now that I am seeing how it goes because she has told me she really needs friends and will call to say hi. I am careful but I invited her out to an event in November. Wish me luck!

I have found though that usually there are favors involved somewhere down the line.
Can I go shopping after work? Are you available Saturday? I have to pay my mortgage, do you mind...?
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boysx5 06:09 AM 10-08-2010
no I try not to I think if you keep it business like they are less likely to take advantage of you
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Blackcat31 06:18 AM 10-08-2010
It is definitely hard to keep business and friendship separate. I personally believe they shouldn't mix. But for some it is difficult not to let that happen. I do become friendly with my daycare parents because, after all you are spending a lot of time with their child, but I am always very clear about the fact that they are my clients first and friends second. I know as well as anyone else that when push comes to shove I am going to do what is right by my family (financially etc) first over whatever friendships that have blossomed because of childcare.
I have heard many stories about families who become friends. Sometimes it works great and other times the childcare provider gets burned because you thought more of your friendship than the parent did. It is like any other business deal where they warn you about going in to business with family or friends. If it works...great! If it doesn't...it will probably be you, not the DC family that gets the short end of the stick.
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tenderhearts 06:30 AM 10-08-2010
I have never become friends outside of daycare with clients I didn't know. But I have had acquaintances come to my daycare and became friends with them outside. I guess it depends but I wouldn't have a problem with it just alot of my families are quite a bit younger than we are so hanging out with them on the weekend probablly would be weird. I have great relationships with them and alot of us talk alot.
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PAMommy1228 10:02 AM 10-08-2010
I am friends with a couple of my dck parents mainly because my oldest daughter is. I don't mind it, but with one of them it makes it difficult because the mom owes me money, but I don't want to make it awkward for the kids if I have to kick her out.
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MommyMuffin 10:23 AM 10-08-2010
It is hard for me to keep my mouth shut. If I feel comfortable around the parent it is hard for me to be all buisness, I really try though. I could see myself being good friends with the parents but I dont think I would ever hang out with them after hours, I am a professional from 6:00 am to 6:00 pm and after that I want to be able to let loose and just be mom/wife. I may have a glass of wine in comfy clothes and sit on my front step. Not that it is bad but I only want parents to see me in the best light!
I have friends of my husband signed up and it is difficult for me to enforce my rules with them. For that reason I would prefer not to be friends.
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SandeeAR 11:01 AM 10-08-2010
I was friends with all three of my families before I started keeping kids. One of them ask me to keep their kids, that's how I got started. I still did contracts with all of them, just to make sure to keep the friendship.
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 11:07 AM 10-08-2010
I have a couple families that we became friends with,.. but mostly just aquantences (sp?)
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misol 12:21 PM 10-08-2010
I'm with MommyMuffin. I try to be friendly and small talk with all of my parents but have never hung out with a parent outside of daycare. In the past I have invited dc kids to an after hours function but it was really for the kids' benefit, not the parents. I purposely try to keep my business and personal life separate. It makes it awkward to enforce the rules when you get too chummy.
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QualiTcare 10:15 PM 10-08-2010
i was friends with a parent before i started keeping her son and it didn't go well. she felt more comfortable questioning my rules and of course we had been friends for so long i'd basically be arguing with her where it wouldn't go that far with anyone else.

for example, her schedule changed one week so i didn't have to keep her son one day when i was supposed to. she didn't understand why i couldn't keep him an extra day the following week for the same pay. it was agreed upon that it was based upon X number of hours PER WEEK and whether they were used or not - i got paid X amount each week. i asked her if she'd work 60 hours at her job with no overtime pay if she only worked 35 the week before. the discussions would just go too far because she was so comfortable with me AND i think she thought i should make exceptions because of it. overall, i don't think it's a good idea to become friends with parents.
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