So yesterday I posted about the family that called me at 4:15pm, one hour before my closing time because they were going to be late due to car problems. I close at 5:15pm and am not flexiable on that at all!

Anyways this morning the family comes to drop off and informs me that they won't be picking up until 5:15pm today when their normal pick up time on fridays is 3:30pm. Uh NO! I close at 4:30pm on fridays. So dad chirps in and says he will come pick the kids up at 4:00pm instead of mom coming at 5:15pm. Ok good so all is fine for a couple seconds.

Then mom proceeds to say that next thursday and friday she will be picking the kids up at 1:30pm. OMG!!! My nap time runs from 12:30pm until 2:30pm and I do not allow drop offs or pick ups during this time! PERIOD! This is very CLEARLY written in my contract. I was too frustrated at that point to say any more and I had another family waiting to come in so I just said ok and off they went. But there is no way I am allowing this. What do I do? I was thinking about sending this family an email and highlighting the part of the contract that says no pick ups and drop offs between 12:30pm - 2:30pm. I hate confrontation and I don't want this family to think I'm picking on them. That's one of the big reason why I didn't say anything more this morning.

UGH sooooo VERY frustrated right now!!!!!

Reply

I wouldn't worry about it, they are leaving early! So you don't have to worry about late pick ups.

Reply

Unfortunately, having it written in your contract is only 10% of it. The other 90% is enforcing it and you have to have the backbone to do it.

I know that isn't the answer you are looking for but they are doing it becuase you are allowing them to do it. You need to speak up and simply tell them it isn't working for you and that your times for closing and pick up need to be x and x. (whatever is in your contract)

If they aren't able to do it then I would term them and let them find care that works for them so that you can fill your spaces with families that work for you.

Hang in there...the good news is that the more you use your backbone, the easier it becomes.

Reply

What was their reasoning for all the "out of schedule" changes?

I usually just move nap time pick-ups to the living room and let them watch a video if they don't have time to sleep.

They stay on their mats wherever I put them so it has not been an issue. I can also see both rooms from my kitchen, so it does not create a hardship for me.

Granted it is a RARE occurrence and ONLY permitted with advance notice since I have to childproof the living room for a bit per CCR&R guidelines.

Reply

I'd tell DCM the day that she plans on picking up at 130pm that she can come before 1230pm or after 230pm, that you don't allow departures during nap. Now if its for a doctors appointment, I'd just lay the child down away from the other children.

If he/she is late today for pick up, I'd charge accordingly...

Reply

For the nap pick-up I would definetely enforce it especially since they were late in picking up once AND you already allowed them to pick-up 30 minutes later today. I would say something like:

"I was thinking about how you told me yesterday that you will be picking up at 1:30 on Thursday and Friday next week and I realized that that's right in the middle of nap and so that won't work so you can either pick up before 12:30pm or after 2:30pm. Just let me know which it will be so that I can have the kids ready" . Say it with an upbeat and cheerful smile.

If she says that it won't work for her for whatever reason just say something like
"You know I really don't allow pick-up or drop-offs during nap-time. It completely throws off the rest of the day. I don't especially mind that you are picking up 30 minutes later today this once even though my family and I had plans today ... I mean I'll be 30 minutes behind myself because of it but my family understands ... but I really can't bend on the nap time pick-up. Let me know if picking up before or after nap works for you"

Just make sure that you mention that you already allowed a later pick-up so that she is aware that it is in fact a favor and not something that she should just expect. Maybe it will give her pause the next time and actually ask you if it's ok first and not just assume that she can pick-up later whenever she wants or whenever she wants. Can I ask if she pays extra if she's late?

Reply

I don't understand what the problem is? I get that naptime pick up can be disruptive, but it really sounds like you just do not want to accomodate this family in any way. It seems really petty and it seems it is a reaction to yesterdays unexpected turn of events for the parents.

Frankly, I don't see how you (or any provider) can even enforce no naptime pick up....parents can have access to their children ANY time they are in care. So, they could technically not even tell you in advance that they are picking up early and just show up unnanounced. If you want to enforce it, it seems you would have to terminate. If I was the parent I would really take issue with you telling me I cannot pick my kid up at that time.

Personally, I'd smile and say "okay, I'll see you then. PLease be sure to arrive right at 1:30 as I will have him up from nap and ready to go for you"

Pick and choose your battles....this really shouldn't be one of them.

Reply

I agree with Crystal. But I wouldn't wake up the child until the mother got there. Have Mom stand and the door and just quietly pick up the child and carry him/her out to Mom.

Reply

I have even put the kids down for a nap next to the front door. But, I do NOT wake kids up until the parent is there. I have NEVER, EVER had a parent who said they were coming early actually come early. Ever. A parent's idea of early is maaaybe five minutes before they normally come. Even if they specifically say "1:22" they will show up at 4:00.

It ruins nap time, because you have to watch the door all nap time. You can't relax, go to the bathroom, read a magazine... nothing, you just have to watch the door.

Reply

I wish I was this lucky. My daycare is an open concept so nap pick-ups don't work here because I have no way to seperate the awake kid. We have to clean up all of the toys in the living room before naptime before I can put out the nap mats because the living room functions as our playroom and then doubles as our nap room. Our front door leads right into the living room so I have to put up my "kids are sleeping" sign every day so that the delivery guys neighbors etc don't knock or ,god forbid, they ring my doorbell .

Reply

It is not always about messing up breaktime. For me it is because I offer a "Clean for Going Home" service. I NEED advance notice to fulfill my promise.

For my families the kids are dressed in clean "Nice" clothes/shoes, fresh diaper, lotioned, hair brushed/styled (with sweet smelling Johnsons detangler), nails clipped and hands/teeth/face squeaky clean.

If all I had to do was carry a half asleep, bed headed, crusty eyed, drool covered kid in paint stained play clothes to the door it would be a breeze...

My parents LOVE this service, they know they can count on me and never be embarrassed to take them out in public after pick-up. Few of them go straight home after pick-ups, here.

Reply

I agree with Crystal on this one. I seldom have more than a couple of nappers at one time... 4-10 year olds- have "quiet time" and read or watch a movie, so this has never been an issue for me.

I've always been flexible with parents picking up early and consider it a blessing when a child is picked up early on a Friday---especially when they would normally be here till 6 pm when I close!

Reply

Your like me....I MUST clean the kids up after naptime.

I'm not saying the parent SHOULD pick up unnanounced during naptime....I'm saying that they COULD. This family gave a week's notice. I see no reason to NOT accomodate them.

Reply

In 14 years, I have NEVER had that happen. My families are VERY respectful of my time and my policies. They would never jeapordize losing services by disrespecting me in that way. They are also very respectful of sleeping children

It doesn't ruin naptime here. I don't sit and watch the door. I go about my usual routine and the parents quietly walk in and collect their child.

Reply

I agree... A 20-30 minute notice is all I really need.

It would be frustrating if it happened 3 times a week, though...

Especially with sorting through all this new curriculum and project stuff....the prep-time gets overwhelming some days.

Reply

Here's what the problem is. The average 'normal' person works a 40-hour work week. I and almost all other providers’ work a 50-hour work week plus approximately 5 hours more off the clock doing pre work for the daycare. When I am supposed to be closed at 5:15pm I am suppose to be closed. PERIOD! The only exception I would make to accommodate parents for a later pick up time is if they called me right before they were suppose to pick up to tell me they were going to be late due to car trouble, traffic or terrible weather. That I will accommodate within reason. But when a parent calls me an hour before pick up to tell me they are going to be late, to me that is not acceptable. They have a whole hour to figure out how to get their children. It is NOT my responsibility to watch their child later than my daycare hours. I also normally need to be running out the door right behind my last pick up as well as I have many things that I am trying to keep up with right now (daycare errands, home renovation errands, a garden at the farm to tend to, etc.) I close at 4:30pm on Fridays because I have no demand to be open later than that. I look forward to every Friday as I get off a full 45 minutes earlier than every other day of the week. I would NEVER stay open an extra 45 minutes for any family and especially not on a Friday as I always have plans that begin when my last child is picked up at 4:30pm. As far as the pick up during naptime, I just don’t allowed it! That is the only break I get in my 10 hour day and any time in the past that a parent has done a middle of naptime pick up it has disrupted all my other daycare children and then I end up with a house full of upset children and NO BREAK in a 10 hour day! That just doesn’t work for me! This family knows that I have this policy in my contract. As far as I’m concerned I am not picking on this family, it is them that obviously have not read my contract and are trying to push me around.

Reply

So true! Under normal circumstances, the kids are always changed, cleaned up and ready for pick up at their designated time.
However, if the parent needs to pick up early and I'm accommodating them for that day, they are never surprised when their child is half a sleep and may need a diaper change!
If I'm being flexible, then they need to be too!

Reply

Just read my regs and it says "The provider must allow custodial parents or legal guardians of child care children access to the home during the hours their child(ren) are in care."

So for our state I'm thinking we aren't allowed to have in our contracts the no pick up time during naptime. Sounds like a big no, no!

Does anyone else have that in their regs and is that how you read it? Never really thought about it because I have parents that are done with work at 1:00 and figure its a bonus to me to be done earlier. When I had children in childcare I would have never picked a childcare that wouldn't allow me to pick up my child when I was done with work or needing to possibly leave for the afternoon, etc.

Reply

I agree early pick ups are bothersome at times especially the pick ups during nap. I had a DCD that would come without notice and knock and knock LOUDLY like he is the police or something. I have been in the restroom, doing dishes, etc so I am not always right by the door. By the time I got to the door the kids would be awake. The sleeping area is in the living room close to the door. I had asked many times not to knock so loudly as it wakes the kids and I pointed out the contract states I prefer no pick ups or drop offs during nap time but that if it was a must then to please call my cell as that would not wake the kids. Last week DCD comes and rings the doorbell 3 times in a row as I race to teh door! I opened the door and he proudly said as he held his suspenders "I didn't knock so I didnt wake the kids" I wanted to say "wow Ernest thanks for your support" Instead I chose to say "Well the doorbell is actually louder than knocking thats why I ask u to call my cell" Oh he says... Yesterday he called the HOUSE at 1:30 to ask what they owed this week!

Reply

I agree with you on picking up LATE......if it is happening regularly, then you put a stop to it. If it is occasional, I would accomodate, but that's just me. What I don't get is the EARLY pick up being an issue. They gave you a WHOLE WEEK notification about naptime pick up. It is absurd to say a parent absolutley cannot pick their child up early.

I cannot stand it when providers INSIST that they MUST have naptime as their break. ANYTHING can happen that disrupts naptime. Personally, during naptime, I'm still on the clock. I regularly have kids wake up early, or a kid who just cannot get to sleep, etc.

If the kids go down at 12:30 for nap, and parents pick up at 1:30 you STILL have a whole hour for your "break time" I don't know any employees who get more than an hour. I just don't get what the big deal is, I guess

Reply

Wow! It would be awesome to get off at 5:15 pm Mon-Thurs and 4:30 pm on Friday's! In 25 years, the earliest I've closed is 5:30 pm and that was a necessity when my kids were little and had evening activities to get to.

Unfortunately I have several parents that need me to stay open till 6 pm, so I've accommodated them and changed my hours. Since no one needs me open till 7:30 am, it's not too bad...I'm open from 7 am- 6 pm---so that makes it an 11 hr day for me!

I do have the occasional call informing me that they are stuck in traffic and will enforce a late fee, if it becomes a pattern! I will be understanding, but not taken advantage of.

The great thing about this business is that, we as providers can pick and choose what we want to accommodate and how we wish to run our business. My hours have changed over the years depending on my own families needs, but early pick ups have always been okay by me! It has never been an inconvenience or disruptive in any way...so it's all about what works for you!

Reply

Sure, but when said early pick-up wakes all other kids in care it makes it difficult to get any "break". We certainly realize that anything can disrupt naptime but trying to keep those disruption to a minimum is definitely the provider's choice. If you can do something to make it easier, why wouldn't you?

Reply

I agree. But this is not an all the time thing. The parents gave her a whole week's notice that they need to pick up early. And, I don't see why an early pick up has to result in waking all of the other children........remind the parent that they need to come in quietly and leave quietly because kids will be sleeping. I have done this a multitude of timesandd it has never resulted in all of the kids waking up....and I have 14 kids.

Let me say it this way. Refusing to EVER accomodate ANY schedule change requests WILL result in parents finding other care that better meets their needs. I say the occasional accomodation is an act of goodwill for your families and they will appreciate it and respect your policies more than if you refuse to ever accomdate a special "need".

Again, I say pick and choose your battles. If you don't mind losing kids then go for it, battle the occasional late pick up or early pick up.

Reply

I didn't say the parents could not pick up early by alls means they are welcome to. Just before 12:30pm or after 2:30pm.

Reply

I think we're forgetting that we all do what's best for us individually. Some aren't bothered by the nap-time pick-ups and some are. I for one am bothered by it and yes I live in CA and yes our regulations say that they must have access to their children at anytime and yes my clients understand that I don't like it (as in really, really really don't like it) but if they REALLY have to pick-up early during nap it's not like I'm going to deny them their child.

I will however remind them again that nap pick-ups are disruptful and lead to cranky children which makes my day difficult and stressful and I ask them again to schedule future pick-ups during non-naptime hours. I used to allow naptime pick-ups but it just does not work for me and is my "particular peeve".

This is the battle I choose to fight. The battles that I have chosen not to fight are the ones about how the children are not dressed suitably or do not have appropriate shoes (like supplying plastic play-shoes instead of real shoes), or how they tell me last minute that they want to come the next day from 6am-4pm instead of 8-6pm, or how they text me at 6am (their drop-off time) to tell me that they forgot to tell me that they're going to be late and will come at 8am when I've already been up since 5am, or when they want to switch a day of the week, or when they arrive late and don't tell me, or when they take a bit to leave and stay for a bit to gab, or when they bring food (i just take it and put it away), or when they don't control their children at pick-up (I do it) etc.

I'm actually pretty easy going and accomodating and because of that my families accomodate for me by not picking up or dropping off during nap. It goes both ways you know? It's a give and take. If they're not flexible with me then I'm not so flexible with them ... for example, if they need me to stay open later for them.

Reply

I encourage my parents to not pick up during my naptimes. But in the 21 years I have done daycare I of course have had kids picked up during naptime. I do not like it; but gotta do what you gotta do. I feel my parents are respectful of my rules and they try very hard to be super quiet when they come to pick up at that time.
I will not keep kids later then the agreed upon time unless it is agreed upon way before hand or bad weather or something beyond their control.
Each provider has to decide what is best for them.

Reply

I'm a stickler for rules...but I agree with you on this one. On the ODD occasion, a parent has needed to pick up at nap time.

I have it in my contract and handbook that I PREFER they not pick up between 1-3 as that is our nap time. However...I do not expect a parent who is lucky enough to get off work at 1:05 PM and wants to go home and spend time with their little one....to have to sit and twiddle their thumbs until 3PM. I have no right to tell them what they can and can't do on THEIR time off.

So it is also in my handbook that if that happens and they feel they MUST pick up early, they are to call me and let me know they are five minutes away so I can have the child ready to go. I watch through the window and have the child ready at the door.

It's only happened a few times.

I like my quiet time during nap time too....but as a parent, I would be upset to be told I wasn't allowed to have access my own child! That's actually against regs here.

That's why I have it in my handbook that parents need to be thoughtful and quiet when picking up early and must call me and not just show up. That I CAN insist on.

Reply

Exactly

For me, even if I only do it one day and they give me advance notice they're really only giving me advance notice that for that one afternoon I will probably have cranky DC kids. For me it's not just about my break, how I won't get have lunch, lunch etc. It's all about the fussy littles that I'll have to deal with for the next 5 hours.

My parents sign in and out everyday so they have to walk in and a doorstep pick-up won't work for me. One day I will have a larger house that's one story with a seperate nap-room and naptime pick-ups won't be an issue for me anymore

Reply

honestly, it sounds like you are getting a little burned out. I understand wanting people to follow the rules but I kind of agree with Crystal's original post. It doesn't sound like these parents asked for time changes before yesterday, correct? Ok, yesterday they had car problems, with an hours notice you had two options - get the exact time they'd be picking up and tell them you could accomodate them this once with a late fee of $____ *or* tell them you were sorry, you could NOT accomodate them and to please make sure SOMEONE was there to pick their children up at 5:15pm.

Today they came in and said they need to pick up at 5:15 - your options are to say yes, I can accomodate for $____ fee *or* no, you are contracted till 3pm, I can accomodate till my closing time of 4:30pm for $____ fee.

For next week, they asked for a pick up time of 1:30. your options are to tell them "I'm sorry, as per our contract pick ups need to be before 12:30 or after 2:30 - which will be better for you?" *or* to tell them "I'm sure you know per our contract I discourage nap time pick ups (I really don't think you can forbid it - you are talking about access to someone elses child here) but because of your appt. (or whatever their reasoning) I will accomodate it this one time.

Personally here, my playroom is right by my front door but my kids will sleep right through a parent picking up IF the parent can be quiet. I will have parent text me when they are on their way, I will get child up, take potty, clean him up and get his stuff packed up and be standing at the door when parent pulls up. I'll even walk him to the car and bring the sign out sheet with me. Its really not an issue unless the parent thinks they can come in and chat for 15 minutes.

It really sounds like you are either fed up with the job or this family - and either of those are fine - you are in charge and you can either say yes or no to anything they ask you for. Its all a matter of how much you are willing to accomodate parents and that depends on your previous dealings with them I'm sure.

Reply

I really discourage parents from picking up during naptime and if a parent needs to pick up during naptime for an appointment or something else like that, then I can accommodate that request. I know that parents are always allowed to have access to their child at anytime but that doesn't mean that the parents are always allowed access to my house at any time they want to have it. They have access to THEIR CHILD. That means that if the parent needs to pick up during naptime, they will not ring my doorbell, knock on my door or even come inside my house. I will bring their child out to them. They still have access to their child and I don't have to worry about the parent or the child being disruptive and waking everyone else up. It's a win/win situation.

I won't enroll a child at my daycare that has a pick up time or a drop off time that interferes with naptime. That's just my approach

Reply

I accommodate pick up requests at any time, too- personally I am uncomfortable denying a parent access to their child at any time the child is in my care. I would not take my children somewhere if there were certain times I was not allowed access to them. Even at school a parent can pick a child up at any time, I feel that is a parent's right. Just my opinion- you gotta do what works for you. If it is important to you, I like the pp's suggestion of giving them the choice of time. I would do it verbally though as opposed to email, more personal. I do email parents about certain things but anything potentially 'confrontational' I do verbally as to show I am available to discuss and email feels kinda like a cop out in some instances, to me.

Reply

^ What she said!

Reply

I WISH naptime was a break. Yes, its nice to have a break from having to talk non-stop, but my naptime is filled with cleaning, phone call-making, planning, project prep, snack prep, computer work, CDA homework, oodles of paperwork...you name it.

I have parents who pick up regularly during nap. They'll usually find me with a broom/mop in hand, scrubbing the toilet, or cross-legged on the floor surrounded by books and papers. I just put down whatever I'm doing, wake the kid up and potty them, and send them on their merry way.

Reply

I can see both sides of this issue. I try to be as flexible as I can for my dc parents. I'll stay open if a parent needs me to and I have no other plans. I do understand the OP's decision not to stay open late for her dc parents, though. Sounds like she has a lot going on and staying open late is very inconvenient for her. I understand her point that the night the parent's car broke down, he had an hour to make alternative arrangements to have the child picked up on time. He probably just assumed she'd keep the child late and didn't give any thought to what he could do to have the child picked up on time until he was forced to think about it.

Although I would never deny a parent the ability to pick up their child during nap time, I have to admit I don't like it and can understand why a provider would have something in her contract asking parents not to pick up during that time. Just because nap time pick-ups haven't been an issue for some, doesn't mean it hasn't been an issue for others.

There have been times when I've told the parent ahead of time that they have to be quick and quiet when she/he comes into my house for pick up only to have one come in and without thinking yell, "Wow! Why is it so quiet in here?!"....or "Are the kids still asleep?!" (Not anymore!) I've had some who forget and ring the door bell or bang the door into the wall on the way in or use the bathroom near the dc room and flush the fairly loud toilet, etc. If it's not the parent making noise, it's the kid who is woken from a deep sleep who starts to cry loudly or fusses while the parent stands there making small talk with me despite my efforts to guide him/her to the door. In the meantime, the other kids wake up and won't go back to sleep.

A week's notification is all well and good but it doesn't necessarily keep these kinds of things from happening. My concern isn't the shortened "break" time for me as much as the shortened nap time for the other kids. When they are woken up early, I'm left to deal with 5 tired and very cranky kids who didn't get the sleep they needed. I'm also left to deal with their parents who are unhappy with me because their kid didn't get a full nap.

We're all individuals and we all set our policies according to what works best for us. We also seem to experience varying degrees of respect from our dc parents. If there is something in the OP's contract that states no pick up during nap time and the parent signed it, at the very least, the OP has the right to at least remind the parents of their agreement and ask if it would be possible to p/u before or after nap time. It may be the parents have forgotten what they originally agreed to and could make arrangements for a better p/u time if politely reminded of the policy.

Reply

What e.j. said..............
We're all individuals and we all set our policies according to what works best for us. We also seem to experience varying degrees of respect from our dc parents. If there is something in the OP's contract that states no pick up during nap time and the parent signed it, at the very least, the OP has the right to at least remind the parents of their agreement and ask if it would be possible to p/u before or after nap time. It may be the parents have forgotten what they originally agreed to and could make arrangements for a better p/u time if politely reminded of the policy.

Reply

POLITELY!! so many of these posts sound as if the providers are not polite w/ families but just jump right into terming as soon as a parent does anything at all to annoy the provider. I love the posts in which providers and families give and take -and despise the ones w/ providers being all strict w/ contracts and terming as soon as a parent doesn't follow the rules to the letter. And never mind the kids getting dumped. I don't get it - how can anyone do this and not love the kids and welcome them into their family and want to give them continuity and stability? Yes being paid is important but some of the issues that providers on here are so quick to term about just seem so petty and so forgetful of the welfare of the kids. Makes me sad.

Reply

....and that's the beauty of being self employed & running your business the way you see fit! It's up to each individual to decide what they want in their contract and how it will be enforced. It's critical to find a good fit with both provider & parent/child, because everyone is so different!

I feel for the OP, because I soooo hate conflict, but standing firm and communicating what your expectations are is the only way parents will truly understand what you want and be able to abide by it.

Reply