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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Something Fishy, or Normal?
KDC 07:31 AM 08-22-2013
Hi All,
So I have a family that interviewed with me from the neighborhood. They have a 14 month old and a 5 yr. old. When she came to interview the 14 month old I knew was coming from a nanny situation where the Mom worked from home and she was referring to my house as 'daycare boot camp'. I realize this was the sign to run, against my better judgement I accepted them. Apparently, he was babied at home and during the interview he ran around taking toys from all the kids and I quickly noted that instead of redirecting HER child, she would redirect my DCKs. I quickly jumped in to redirect HER child and explained it would take some time for DCB to get the rules and fall into our routine. She also has a 5 yr. old that she wanted to use me for days off school. And because our school district starts earlier than hers, she wanted big brother to come with little brother for the first couple of days to 'ease' the transition to daycare. Mind you the 5 yr. old was NOT part of the interview. My fault.
This is where it blew up. The 5 yr. old could NOT be left unattended at ALL. I have a baby swing for the infant and he would NOT stop touching it. He wanted to play with all the switches and gadgets. I asked him repeatedly to not touch it, gave a time out, I would physically barricade him with my body, while telling him no in a stern voice and he was struggling to physically go around me to touch it. At this point I'm thinking WTH? He also randomly jumps up and down and flaps his hands. He would ask the strangest questions. For instance, "why are those circle things in where the plugs go?" Me... "to protect little ones from getting hurt, those outlets are very dangerous". DCK "what would happen if I put my finger in it", Me..."You would get hurt and have to go to the hospital, so it's not a good choice" DCK. "Could it kill me?" Me, "We don't want to find out" DCK - "How do you know?" Me, "I'm smart, do not touch them"... I had to watch him like a hawk as he frequently studied the outlets. He mentioned going to "summer school" on the bus. I'm left wondering if he has some processing or learning disabilities and it was kept from me during the interview? I just was not prepared for it. He took toys away from kids, dumped buckets of toys, when he went to the bathroom he couldn't be trusted as I could hear him 'playing' with everything (toilet paper holder), water. Btw, the 2 days are up, and I will NOT be taking this 5 yr. old anymore, ever. But, I would mention my issues to the Mom and she would reply with, "wow, rough day". Or "I'm not surprised, he's not a great listener, just give time outs"?
Now the 14 month DCB... He was trying to get into a car (cozy coupe) that was already in use by a another DCK and a struggle broke out, DCK in coupe was saying no, when the new DCB started the biting process (mind you I'm a mere 1/2 step away and prying the little guys mouth away from DCK. Big bro says "yea, he bites ALL THE TIME" ??? Ok, this was not mentioned in the interview and I get why, who wants to admit their kid is a little vampire during a daycare interview, but I'm seriously considering terming.
My issue, she seems to have a presence on the neighborhood social media, and I would not like her to bad mouth me, I have a great reputation and don't want to lose that. But, 1. I do not know if I can work with her as a parent and 2. Deal with the vampire tendencies of the 14 month old, 3. Deal with the MAJOR separation anxiety of the 14 month old. 4. She's not going to like it when I say the 5 yr. old can NOT come back. Ever.
I was honest with this mom, so I'm thinking she already knows these issues exist and it shouldn't come as a surprise. Term?
So I have a family that interviewed with me from the neighborhood. They have a 14 month old and a 5 yr. old. When she came to interview the 14 month old I knew was coming from a nanny situation where the Mom worked from home and she was referring to my house as 'daycare boot camp'. I realize this was the sign to run, against my better judgement I accepted them. Apparently, he was babied at home and during the interview he ran around taking toys from all the kids and I quickly noted that instead of redirecting HER child, she would redirect my DCKs. I quickly jumped in to redirect HER child and explained it would take some time for DCB to get the rules and fall into our routine. She also has a 5 yr. old that she wanted to use me for days off school. And because our school district starts earlier than hers, she wanted big brother to come with little brother for the first couple of days to 'ease' the transition to daycare. Mind you the 5 yr. old was NOT part of the interview. My fault.
This is where it blew up. The 5 yr. old could NOT be left unattended at ALL. I have a baby swing for the infant and he would NOT stop touching it. He wanted to play with all the switches and gadgets. I asked him repeatedly to not touch it, gave a time out, I would physically barricade him with my body, while telling him no in a stern voice and he was struggling to physically go around me to touch it. At this point I'm thinking WTH? He also randomly jumps up and down and flaps his hands. He would ask the strangest questions. For instance, "why are those circle things in where the plugs go?" Me... "to protect little ones from getting hurt, those outlets are very dangerous". DCK "what would happen if I put my finger in it", Me..."You would get hurt and have to go to the hospital, so it's not a good choice" DCK. "Could it kill me?" Me, "We don't want to find out" DCK - "How do you know?" Me, "I'm smart, do not touch them"... I had to watch him like a hawk as he frequently studied the outlets. He mentioned going to "summer school" on the bus. I'm left wondering if he has some processing or learning disabilities and it was kept from me during the interview? I just was not prepared for it. He took toys away from kids, dumped buckets of toys, when he went to the bathroom he couldn't be trusted as I could hear him 'playing' with everything (toilet paper holder), water. Btw, the 2 days are up, and I will NOT be taking this 5 yr. old anymore, ever. But, I would mention my issues to the Mom and she would reply with, "wow, rough day". Or "I'm not surprised, he's not a great listener, just give time outs"?
Now the 14 month DCB... He was trying to get into a car (cozy coupe) that was already in use by a another DCK and a struggle broke out, DCK in coupe was saying no, when the new DCB started the biting process (mind you I'm a mere 1/2 step away and prying the little guys mouth away from DCK. Big bro says "yea, he bites ALL THE TIME" ??? Ok, this was not mentioned in the interview and I get why, who wants to admit their kid is a little vampire during a daycare interview, but I'm seriously considering terming.
My issue, she seems to have a presence on the neighborhood social media, and I would not like her to bad mouth me, I have a great reputation and don't want to lose that. But, 1. I do not know if I can work with her as a parent and 2. Deal with the vampire tendencies of the 14 month old, 3. Deal with the MAJOR separation anxiety of the 14 month old. 4. She's not going to like it when I say the 5 yr. old can NOT come back. Ever.
I was honest with this mom, so I'm thinking she already knows these issues exist and it shouldn't come as a surprise. Term?
DaisyMamma 07:54 AM 08-22-2013
That really sucks. I accepted a neighbor once. Never will do it again.
you could tell dcm that you decided not to take SA and see what happens. The 14mo might adjust.
Or you can tell her how it is and term and hope for the best.
you could tell dcm that you decided not to take SA and see what happens. The 14mo might adjust.
Or you can tell her how it is and term and hope for the best.
NeedaVaca 08:01 AM 08-22-2013
Do you have a 2 week trial period? You can see how the couple of weeks go and then if there are no changes you can tell mom you don't think it's a good fit. You could also tell the mom you noticed the biting and you have to keep the entire group safe. Maybe a 3 strikes you're out policy? I don't watch neighbors, family or friends-too many issues can come up!
Laurel 08:21 AM 08-22-2013
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
That really sucks. I accepted a neighbor once. Never will do it again.
you could tell dcm that you decided not to take SA and see what happens. The 14mo might adjust.
Or you can tell her how it is and term and hope for the best.
That really sucks. I accepted a neighbor once. Never will do it again.
you could tell dcm that you decided not to take SA and see what happens. The 14mo might adjust.
Or you can tell her how it is and term and hope for the best.
I wouldn't worry about her bad mouthing you either because most likely the other neighbors know the problems with her children.
I also never take neighbors. My rule is if I can see their house or even the next street over then it is a no. I have taken ones in my subdivision but not my immediate street and the one behind it.
Laurel
Blackcat31 08:35 AM 08-22-2013
Honestly? Term. You do NOT need to be "forced" in to caring for children that behave that badly because of what "gossip" the mother may spread to others.
NEVER ever worry about what others say about you. ONLY worry about what you DO. Your actions will always speak LOUDER than words.
When others spread rumors, lies and gossip about you, they are saying far more about themselves than the message they are conveying about you.
NEVER ever worry about what others say about you. ONLY worry about what you DO. Your actions will always speak LOUDER than words.
When others spread rumors, lies and gossip about you, they are saying far more about themselves than the message they are conveying about you.
MamaBear 08:43 AM 08-22-2013
TERM 
MyAngels 08:58 AM 08-22-2013
What BC said. Plus 
at "vampire tendencies."
at "vampire tendencies."
KDC 09:22 AM 08-22-2013
Our subdivision really big and is relatively new... some of the houses are still being built in phase 4 (we bought in phase 2 about 9 years ago). She is not really a 'next door or really close neighbor' other than she's from the neighborhood, but our subdivision has it's own facebook page. I've received some great feedback and clients from it. I am just now getting new kids in here because the ones I started with had to go and grow up (without permission ) So now I get to start over. Lucky me. If I truly cannot care or caring for him will make my life miserable I will bite the bullet and just tell them no hard feelings, but it's not a good match.
It's been much better without the 5 yr. old. The little 'vampire' might just need some adjustment time. It's a hard transition. I do have a 2 week trial period in which either party can 'quit' if it's not working out. It might not be a good fit, but I'll work with him. He's already just in the few days he's been here settled down to play for about 10 minute increments (and then wants 'uppies'). He's signing for milk and all done, both which are new tools he's learned here. Next week I'll re-evaluate. I've had the same group for so long, it's a lot of work to get the new ones into my routine.
Thanks for your advice!!
) So now I get to start over. Lucky me. If I truly cannot care or caring for him will make my life miserable I will bite the bullet and just tell them no hard feelings, but it's not a good match.It's been much better without the 5 yr. old. The little 'vampire' might just need some adjustment time. It's a hard transition. I do have a 2 week trial period in which either party can 'quit' if it's not working out. It might not be a good fit, but I'll work with him. He's already just in the few days he's been here settled down to play for about 10 minute increments (and then wants 'uppies'). He's signing for milk and all done, both which are new tools he's learned here. Next week I'll re-evaluate. I've had the same group for so long, it's a lot of work to get the new ones into my routine.
Thanks for your advice!!
AnneCordelia 09:27 AM 08-22-2013
Truthfully, I think that if you are honest with her that you dont feel they would be a good fit due to biting and listening issues and I am not sure what she could say. "My kids didnt listen, were biting other kids, and my 5yo was physically agressive to the provider so she termed us! The nerve!" Not going to sound great from her.
coolconfidentme 09:31 AM 08-22-2013
Originally Posted by KDC:
Hi All,
So I have a family that interviewed with me from the neighborhood. They have a 14 month old and a 5 yr. old. When she came to interview the 14 month old I knew was coming from a nanny situation where the Mom worked from home and she was referring to my house as 'daycare boot camp'. I realize this was the sign to run, against my better judgement I accepted them. Apparently, he was babied at home and during the interview he ran around taking toys from all the kids and I quickly noted that instead of redirecting HER child, she would redirect my DCKs. I quickly jumped in to redirect HER child and explained it would take some time for DCB to get the rules and fall into our routine. She also has a 5 yr. old that she wanted to use me for days off school. And because our school district starts earlier than hers, she wanted big brother to come with little brother for the first couple of days to 'ease' the transition to daycare. Mind you the 5 yr. old was NOT part of the interview. My fault.
This is where it blew up. The 5 yr. old could NOT be left unattended at ALL. I have a baby swing for the infant and he would NOT stop touching it. He wanted to play with all the switches and gadgets. I asked him repeatedly to not touch it, gave a time out, I would physically barricade him with my body, while telling him no in a stern voice and he was struggling to physically go around me to touch it. At this point I'm thinking WTH? He also randomly jumps up and down and flaps his hands. He would ask the strangest questions. For instance, "why are those circle things in where the plugs go?" Me... "to protect little ones from getting hurt, those outlets are very dangerous". DCK "what would happen if I put my finger in it", Me..."You would get hurt and have to go to the hospital, so it's not a good choice" DCK. "Could it kill me?" Me, "We don't want to find out" DCK - "How do you know?" Me, "I'm smart, do not touch them"... I had to watch him like a hawk as he frequently studied the outlets. He mentioned going to "summer school" on the bus. I'm left wondering if he has some processing or learning disabilities and it was kept from me during the interview? I just was not prepared for it. He took toys away from kids, dumped buckets of toys, when he went to the bathroom he couldn't be trusted as I could hear him 'playing' with everything (toilet paper holder), water. Btw, the 2 days are up, and I will NOT be taking this 5 yr. old anymore, ever. But, I would mention my issues to the Mom and she would reply with, "wow, rough day". Or "I'm not surprised, he's not a great listener, just give time outs"?
Now the 14 month DCB... He was trying to get into a car (cozy coupe) that was already in use by a another DCK and a struggle broke out, DCK in coupe was saying no, when the new DCB started the biting process (mind you I'm a mere 1/2 step away and prying the little guys mouth away from DCK. Big bro says "yea, he bites ALL THE TIME" ??? Ok, this was not mentioned in the interview and I get why, who wants to admit their kid is a little vampire during a daycare interview, but I'm seriously considering terming.
My issue, she seems to have a presence on the neighborhood social media, and I would not like her to bad mouth me, I have a great reputation and don't want to lose that. But, 1. I do not know if I can work with her as a parent and 2. Deal with the vampire tendencies of the 14 month old, 3. Deal with the MAJOR separation anxiety of the 14 month old. 4. She's not going to like it when I say the 5 yr. old can NOT come back. Ever.
I was honest with this mom, so I'm thinking she already knows these issues exist and it shouldn't come as a surprise. Term?
You MUST be exhausted! I was exhausted from reading about them! I take back anything I said about my kids this week! lol Hi All,
So I have a family that interviewed with me from the neighborhood. They have a 14 month old and a 5 yr. old. When she came to interview the 14 month old I knew was coming from a nanny situation where the Mom worked from home and she was referring to my house as 'daycare boot camp'. I realize this was the sign to run, against my better judgement I accepted them. Apparently, he was babied at home and during the interview he ran around taking toys from all the kids and I quickly noted that instead of redirecting HER child, she would redirect my DCKs. I quickly jumped in to redirect HER child and explained it would take some time for DCB to get the rules and fall into our routine. She also has a 5 yr. old that she wanted to use me for days off school. And because our school district starts earlier than hers, she wanted big brother to come with little brother for the first couple of days to 'ease' the transition to daycare. Mind you the 5 yr. old was NOT part of the interview. My fault.
This is where it blew up. The 5 yr. old could NOT be left unattended at ALL. I have a baby swing for the infant and he would NOT stop touching it. He wanted to play with all the switches and gadgets. I asked him repeatedly to not touch it, gave a time out, I would physically barricade him with my body, while telling him no in a stern voice and he was struggling to physically go around me to touch it. At this point I'm thinking WTH? He also randomly jumps up and down and flaps his hands. He would ask the strangest questions. For instance, "why are those circle things in where the plugs go?" Me... "to protect little ones from getting hurt, those outlets are very dangerous". DCK "what would happen if I put my finger in it", Me..."You would get hurt and have to go to the hospital, so it's not a good choice" DCK. "Could it kill me?" Me, "We don't want to find out" DCK - "How do you know?" Me, "I'm smart, do not touch them"... I had to watch him like a hawk as he frequently studied the outlets. He mentioned going to "summer school" on the bus. I'm left wondering if he has some processing or learning disabilities and it was kept from me during the interview? I just was not prepared for it. He took toys away from kids, dumped buckets of toys, when he went to the bathroom he couldn't be trusted as I could hear him 'playing' with everything (toilet paper holder), water. Btw, the 2 days are up, and I will NOT be taking this 5 yr. old anymore, ever. But, I would mention my issues to the Mom and she would reply with, "wow, rough day". Or "I'm not surprised, he's not a great listener, just give time outs"?
Now the 14 month DCB... He was trying to get into a car (cozy coupe) that was already in use by a another DCK and a struggle broke out, DCK in coupe was saying no, when the new DCB started the biting process (mind you I'm a mere 1/2 step away and prying the little guys mouth away from DCK. Big bro says "yea, he bites ALL THE TIME" ??? Ok, this was not mentioned in the interview and I get why, who wants to admit their kid is a little vampire during a daycare interview, but I'm seriously considering terming.
My issue, she seems to have a presence on the neighborhood social media, and I would not like her to bad mouth me, I have a great reputation and don't want to lose that. But, 1. I do not know if I can work with her as a parent and 2. Deal with the vampire tendencies of the 14 month old, 3. Deal with the MAJOR separation anxiety of the 14 month old. 4. She's not going to like it when I say the 5 yr. old can NOT come back. Ever.
I was honest with this mom, so I'm thinking she already knows these issues exist and it shouldn't come as a surprise. Term?
Hang in there..., the weekend is close!!!
KDC 10:09 AM 08-22-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
You MUST be exhausted! I was exhausted from reading about them! I take back anything I said about my kids this week! lol
Hang in there..., the weekend is close!!!
I AM exhausted... Thanks! I just feel so much love for all the Kindi teachers out there that have 20 5 yr. olds at a time - and they're responsible for teaching them how to read!! You MUST be exhausted! I was exhausted from reading about them! I take back anything I said about my kids this week! lol
Hang in there..., the weekend is close!!!
I can't imagine how that 5 yr. old is going to do at school (he's going to be full day Kindi, today's his first day!) She's gonna need a drink and a looooooong bubble bath after work 