School age and Stealing

[melskids]

i have a zero tolerance for children stealing from my house. its just one of those things i cant tolerate. its happened before, quite a few years back, and i now have a policy in my handbook that says the child will be terminated immediately if they steal from my home. now i'm not talking a 2 or 3 year old who puts something in their pocket and tries to leave with it. i'm talking about a 7.5 year old who should know better. do you think this is too harsh of a policy? i caught a child today trying to take legos from BOTH of my childrens rooms. he is 7 and 1/2. he should know better right? i decided to finish the summer w/ this child, for the moms sake, (she'll NEVER find care now for 3 weeks until school starts) but told her he will not be welcomed back after that. and he is no longer allowed out of my sight as i dont trust him anymore. he is also the one SA causing all of the trouble and grief this summer anyway, so i was looking for a good excuse to teminate. when i talked to mom tonight, she just stood there with this blank look on her face, like she always does. no response, nothing. am i wrong? bllowing this out of proportion? has anyone had to deal with this before?

[Vesta]

I personally think it's kind of harsh.
I would give them another chance before kicking them to the proverbial curb.
That chance would also depend on the parents response to the situation.
We had one attempt to steal some micro machines from us one summer.
He was 10 and one of the other boys ratted him out.
We told his mom and everyday at pickup we would have him turn out his pockets to make sure he wasn't trying to walk out with something.
His mom was pretty ticked at him about it.
The only other problem I have is girls trying to walk out with envelopes of beads because they want to make something at home with them. I explain that they are to use at my home, and that if they want some for at home they need to ask their parents to buy them some.
Scratch that, someone stuck a bunch of blank paper in their backpack once, parents returned it the next day with a new pack of paper.

It sounds like this kid is just icing the cake for you though. I wouldn't want him back next year.

[Childminder]

I wouldn't give him the three weeks. You're nicer than me. Especially since he's been nothing but grief for you all along. If you had terminated him maybe mom would have been bothered enough to show him that he can't be causing trouble all the time. This way he just got away with something once again. JMO

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I would have to say it depends on the childs behavior...if he's always doing things that are bad and gets under your skin, it wouldn't be harsh... and it seems like he's given you grief and the mom doesn't seem to care....I had terminated my 4 year old daycare boy a couple months ago, not entirely on the boys behavior, but the mom seemed like she didn't care anytime I mentioned he misbahaved a lot.

If it was a mellow child that randomly did this, no I wouldn't terminate...I would bring it up to the mom and have a talk with the child about how bad stealing is. When you get a kid that is always bad and destructive and seems like the mom doesn't care, it turns your whole response around.

[Lilbutterflie]

I think it depends on how the parents handled the situation... if the child goes on serious probation at home or had to do enough chores to buy you a whole set of legos; then I would give it the "3 strikes and you're out" deal. But it does sound like this is sort of the last straw for this boy, and I would say you have every right to terminate.

[QualiTcare]

i think you should be honest about the real reason you're terminating......

because the stolen legos don't seem to be it. he SHOULD know better, but kids are kids and sometimes they do things like that.

my daughter has stolen before - from stores! the first time it was chapstick which i made her return (she was 5) and the second time it was a candy bar from a gas station - still age 5.

this kid has EVERYTHING - she doesn't need to steal, but apparently i said "no" and she reeeally wanted those things. some kids steal because they really want something and they know their parents can't get it for them.

when i was working at a center, i had a kid try to steal a nintendo DS. he should've known better....but ALL the kids had one, and he didn't. his parents couldn't afford one.

it's a hard thing to address - especially with the parents. but yeah - i think you should tell her ALL the reasons you're terminating because that seems petty to me since he IS 7. she will tell people that was the reason and they will think you overreacted because they won't hear all the other stuff (misbehavior, etc).

[melskids]

you guys are right. i've since calmed down, but this is the icing on the cake sort of thing. this child has done nothing but give me grief this entire summer. he bickers with everyone, he has ZERO patience with the younger toddlers and yells at them all the time, has a terrible potty mouth, burps and farts at the table (not worth term. over, but he's been here for 2 years, and knows i dont accept that behavior as approp.), makes a big deal about private parts, especially on dolls in front of the little kids, just cant follow rules, yells during nap time, jumps on the furniture like a wild monkey, etc, etc,. ive talked to the mom over and over again, and i get no response to anything. without sounding horrible, i have to say, i think she's a few crayons short of a full box, KWIM? communication is nonexistent. i dont know if she doesnt understand what i'm saying, or if she has some sort of anxiety speaking to other people or what. so im going to let him finish the summer out, but will be explaining (once again) all the reasons why i will be terminating come september.

BTW, the reason i have the stealing policy in the first place is a few years back i had a 12 yr old repeatedly stealing from me (money, toys, etc) and the parents were doing nothing about it. he definetly knew better, IMO.

anyhoo, thanks for all of your feedback!