My pickup area is very open. The parents come in the back door and the coats and shoes are right there. One step past that, the living room/dining room/kitchen are all one open room and the playroom is just past that. I have one particular boy that when mom comes, he just sprints and runs into the playroom and starts playing or goes into the living room where my computer is and thinks he can start touching that. I have told him no in front of mom and you don't touch that all day I don't know why you're doing it now routine and mom just stands there and says Johnny, Johnny don't you want to go home Johnny, come on come on come on ugh!! I have said, come on Johnny moms had a long day, she would like to go home etc. I can't gate it off there is no way to do that. What do you suggest? He's 18 months old. thanks!

Reply

I have the same setup as you, parents can see right into the dining area and the playroom right passed that - likewise, kiddos can see the parents come in. I also have the same child as you, lol. Almost all my kiddos will run to the door, say hello to their parent and run back to the playroom and continue playing, completely ignoring their parents requests to come get ready. I don't help kids get ready for home time, but I will warn the child once that it's time to go (which some of them listen to) and if not, I physically pick the child up or take them by the hand and walk them to the entrance and wait there until the parent starts putting on their shoes/jacket, etc. If a parent doesn't keep the child in control at that point (letting the kid run back in with shoes on, etc) than the parent and I have a talk about getting the child under control and teaching the child that when it's time to go it's time to go - no games!
Good luck!

Reply

So what exactly do you say to the parent. This woman I've had issues with since day one (September) and I'm slowly working things out one by one. It drives me crazy.

Reply

Does mom come at the same time every day? Have child ready to go and meet mom at the door with kid ready....then shove them both out if mom comes at random times, have her text you when she is on the way and get him ready. Have her pickup kiddo and carry him out and not give him the chance to run in your open space.

Reply

I am much like MissMuffets and don't beat around th ebush with parents when I need to say something.

I would say, "Joan, pick up time has become a little bit chaotic with Johnny wanting to run wild as soon as you get here. Although his actions are common for his age, I really need you to take control and get him back on track with getting his coat and shoes on. I won't allow him to run amok and touch things he knows are off limits. Once, I hand him off to you, he needs to stay right here with you. Thank you for understanding and heoing me fix this issue."

I also do NOT get kids ready but more so because of my set up, but maybe offer her to text/call you when she is on her way to pick up and you can get Johnny's coat and shoes on him and then just hand him over when she arrives so she can leave immediately.

Reply

Blackcat said pretty much what I would say! Haha!
I still wouldn't offer to get the child ready, simply because I'm way too busy at the end of the day - but if you are available for such a thing that might help if the current situation doesn't imrove in the next few pick ups after having a chat with mom.

Reply

I have the same open concept. I have the same issues.

Annoys me to no end. I have tried being blunt- it is like it goes in one ear and out the other. I am close to the road, a busy road, so having the child ready and handing them out the door wouldn't work, and that is not my style anyhow. I have parents that want to know about the child's day. All I do is keep working on it. This is one of the parts of the day that I dread the most.

I wish I had a separate mud room with a door into my home, because I would open the door and send the child out.

I also have the parent that lets the child do stuff I wouldn't let them do. I do say something, but it seems like she doesn't hear or care that is bothers me, because it doesn't bother her. Some parents are of the mind set that the child can do anything he/she wants to do. The child is clearly in control because it does a flip in personality when Mom comes in.

I struggle with this one, but am better about it then I used to be and am still working to be even better at this

I think part of me has to accept that the parents do things different with the child then I do. That is why they act up when the parents come into the picture. It would be no different if I were to go into their homes. I know this because I hear it all the time from the parents. Grammy came over and you would have thought that little John John morfed into someone elses kid. LOL

Reply

I didn't really answer the question...

My advice is to be even more blunt about the issue then you have been.

Like I said I struggle with this too. I have one parent that likes to talk at pick up, not thinking that I am ready to be done my job just as she is- prob not caring because she still has to drive home. Not caring is not the word I want, more like not thinking about it as I am.

I am blunt with her and then it is good for a couple of weeks and then back to the same old. I am just as guilty about it as she is, because I enjoy chatting with her too sometimes.

Try just being direct. It is ok to do this even if we feel a bit uncomfortable.

Best-

Reply

besides doing what others have suggest and being blunt, is there any way possible that you can block off the pick up area to the rest of the house?

I just recently bough a gate that blocks off the main entrance into my first daycare room and the kids can go no where but OUT...........

Reply

Thanks everyone. No, there really is no way to block it off because 1 or 2 steps into the back door is the whole living area and there are no doors to even put a gate up. Ticks me off because I think it just shows a huge disrespect when she stands there while the kid is running from the living room to the playroom back and forth. Touching my computer, playing with a foot and a half tall snowman that is sitting on the entertainment center right next to my 55" tv. Trust me, I put a stop to both of those things and yet she said nothing. Well I'm in the right mood for it tonight. Gonna flat out grab him myself and say, you know what Johnny, I'm tired and I'm sure your mom is tired too, let's get going now and I will put his shoes and coat on if she can't handle it. Let her stand there with her finger in her ear. The more I think about it, the more ticked I get. My son was in daycare for 3 years and he NEVER behaved like that.

Reply

I have the same problem with one family. I have a straight thru house ( one room leads straight to the next from front door to back door). I converted the large LR into our playroom, DR is now our family area (separated by furniture from the playroom) and then XL kitchen. This way they get the bigger room AND the front door is RIGHT THERE.
I have a chatty mom of 2. EVERY DAY when she comes, the 4yo feels he can just GO... Running from playroom to kitchen and back, grabbing dog toys out of basket in LR, touching anything I have out on tables in our LR.. NO OTHER CHILDREN HAVE DONE THIS! Once I lay it out for them, they got it and that was that.. Not this one! His sister is worse, but she is a stubborn 18mo, so I can give her a bit of slack.. Plus, she also mostly has been mimicking his behavior! He doesn't do this AT ALL during the day either.
Everyday at pick up, his mom repeats, put your coat on, put that toy down and lets get going, stop and get done, put youre shoes back on...He starts to do what she says but she gets distracted with lil sis and he runs around again. I've talked to him, taken over for mom to help her out a bit, reminded him of the rules, even giving him the deadly stare.. And it may work for THAT moment, but next day, same thing!
I've given up trying to work this out... It doesn't help that mom is chatty, so even having them ready wont work bc she won't go until we talk about how they did that day.. And no, daily report sheets do NOTHING! Shes a chatter.. I just say to myself, "it's a good, paying client with sweet kids and its not FOREVER"!!!! Lol. I've had kids that have made me want to give up on this profession, so I can just deal...lol

Reply

Have his coat on and meet her with boy in tow. Pass him off as you would an infant. Then start holding his hand while walking to the door. Don't let him more than 2 feet away. He tries to bolt, snatch him up and pass him out the door until he learns.

Reply

you need to just say something directly to her. This is bothering me and I want to be able to work it out, but at pick up time I need you to take your little one and leave. I love talking with you but, it interrupts everything else I am trying to get done and at this time. If you want to have in dept conversations call me at such and such time and we can talk then or schedule a time to talk. I like to make pick ups and drop offs to be less then five minutes, and as quick and easy as possible. Another idea is to create a waiting area space, using a bench, gates- even if they just say stop here, or table. I feel your pain- have the same issues, open area and chatty parents. Sometimes I am to blame.....ooops. Good luck and let us know how you make out-

Reply

Hi,

I am a new member and this is my first post, but I have had experiences like this in the past and wanted to share them with you. How you respond to the parent is really important as to how you and they will act in the future. You are setting limits that you hopefully will not have to address again. If you want to do the direct way then I have literally picked up the child and handed them to their mom so that they will not run around. If she puts them down and the child starts touching the computer then I would say to the child that is not okay to do and why don't they stand by their mom or the mom can hold the child. I would also follow up with why it is not okay to be in that part of the house and why it is not okay to touch the computer. You should not have to gate off an area if you have not done so before and this is your home and it should be as you want it.

You can also email the parent and let her know that you are aware that the child is so excited to see their mom, but for safety concerns she needs to hold him in her arms or hold his hand. Again, be specific and make the concern about safety and security of the home and child.

The hard thing is that some parents will react with no problem and then you get the parents that react like you just cut off their arm. You have to remember that is your home and your personal belongings and you have every right to not want people to bother them. So you can deal with the mom directly or deal with her via email. Both ways are fine and sometimes I don't feel or want to deal with parents directly and email works well and the plus side is that you have it in writing.

Take care and just remember that when you first set down the rules it does get easier to enforce them.

Reply

I swear tho, I think sometimes parents get bugged when I tell little Billy or Suzie to come out of the living room or kitchen, That it is my families space and he and his friends have the biggest room in the house to play in.
I think they feel that since I open my home up to kids that they should be free to go where they please, even if its just on the first floor. I dont get why I have to tell someones child everyday since they started over a year ago that its NOT OK to touch my desk in the kitchen, or touch my TV in the living room. He will just RUN into the living room and grab my daughters ipod to hand to her (FOR NO REASON) or pick up my remote to turn he tv on... or even go into my purse if my cell rings so he can bring it to me!)
They feel since the kids have free reign in THEIR house,then it works here too bc my house is generally kid friendly. I shouldnt have to explain that I dont want kids in diapers on my couch, or not be able to put up ANY christmas decorations bc ONE kid cant follow the rules.
arg!!!!!!

Reply

Update, the boy has been much better. I stand about 2 feet from mom when she walks in the door and he started to run a couple of times and I have reached out and got ahold of him and said, nope, time to go, Sheri is very tired today. Seems like that is really being effective. He's not running so much lately.

Reply

That is good to hear! Is mom at all stepping up and trying to atleast be responsible for her child?

A lot of times things do get solved when the provider steps up and gets strict about things but that makes me kind of sad sometimes too as some of the issues we have as providers have MUCH more to do with the parent not doing their job....kwim?

I am glad to hear though that he isn't tearing up your house anymore!

Reply

I still don't trust him to not run, so that's why I stand right there and NO mom is still clueless. She doesn't say anything when he starts to run and says nothing when I get ahold of him. Of course this is the same one that started in September and continues to try to just walk in the house, which I don't allow. I always have my door locked for security reasons and I have told her that. She continues to turn the door handle though. She actually did find it unlocked last week when another parent was here. The parent and his child were standing right inside the door and it was her lucky day. She tried the magic door and it was unlocked, so in she walked, without even a knock. Well she about hit the poor little boy in the head with the doorknob she came in so fast. I started yelling, whoa whoa whoa and said, just a minute, Dolan is right in front of the door. I was not happy about it. If he was standing another inch to one side she would have hurt him. UGH!

Reply

When it is Spring, Summer and Fall(nice weather out) I meet parents outside. Once they come, I say bye, and walk away. Then I try and have child ready at the door for them, shoes on, coats on, etc....

Reply