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  #1  
Old 05-10-2014, 11:06 AM
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Default DCP Long Term Quit One Day Notice, But For The Best I Found Out

So, our sitter gave us a one day notice.

I mean I think that's rude considering I not only paid her, but was OUT money for an "unexpected" but expected vacation. (Meaning she was only to take so many days, took extra and we all had to pay another sitter--NOT part of our contract!)

She TEXTS me the notice.

Now over the past 3 months, I have noticed she didn't seem into the kids, except just this one infant that she DOTES on.

What irks me with this sudden "I quit" is that
1. She knew I was changing my schedule to ACCOMODATE her even though I preferred a different one
2. I got the approval for that change 2 weeks ago and now can't change for 1 year
3. She started acting like a crazy person toward my kids, instead of talking to me about her desire to quit, even when I directly asked her (before I was forced to change my schedule) because I had a funny weird feeling over the past couple months
4. She made ME pay for her extra vacation days this past weekend even though our agreement is that if SHE takes time off, no pay but if I take time off, I still pay. (So I paid her, then she had taken the extra days off and didn't tell me til 1 day before she was doing this , which was 3 days after payday, I still have not received a refund and I know...she KNEW because it was a long event you needed TICKETS for and she had to have booked hotels in advance and I'm sure she booked all days)
5. She told me she'd do the summer care (on Monday she said this) for sure, told the kids she was excited for summer with them
6. Looked my daughter in the eye, told her she'd be at an event (huge important event and this particular sitter has never missed any of the other kids' first-time things like this) and cancelled 10 mins before (so I got really suspicious then because that is VERY unsual)
7. TEXTS me her breakup "I can't keep the kids anymore" text on a day she doesn't keep the kids, and Oh, BTW tomorrow is their last day.


The kicker?
She was 1. paid on time 2. my kids were helpers and she even paid them a dollar to help her each day, 3. kept her very difficult child 'in line' 4. do pretty much everything she says 5. I was generous during holiday weeks/holidays, I gave her lots and lots of time off, PAID, etc.

I was the parent most of you dream of (from reading posts) lol

I am really disappointed how she handled things. I was supposed to give her 2 weeks if I cancelled care, and she was supposed to give me one month. I got 24 hours.

Thank GOD for intuition. I had a funny feeling for a few weeks. I called our backup and told her I just had a feeling I needed summer care.That I felt something amiss with the DCP like she was getting burnt out. Which all she had to do was SAY so and we could have avoided ALL of this mess.

She told mer her doctor told her no more daycare, but then said she's keeping a couple infants, homeschooling, etc. Now, REALLY!? all of that over summer? And when the Dr. says no more, you're going to do all that?

When the other parent picked up yesterday, I said "Yeah, sad Miss _ is closing, huh? " She looked at me confused. I said "Do you need a reference?" She says "No" I said "Oh, good you found someone already?" She said "huh? NaNa is keeping her for summer and for any days Miss __ can't keep her" Oh, REALLY!

So it was just mine that were termed and she couldn't be honest with me. I hate that since they were with her almost FIVE years.

The new provider is great though and they do "like" her better than the old one (but were more "comfortable" with the old one due to length of being there).

The one thing my kids (and old dcp's husband) revealed was my kids were accused of wrecking things a lot when her own daughter did it. They weren't very happy, but never told me because they "know I have to work" and didn't want to hurt Miss __'s feelings. They also said she'd scream and yell at them (and husband) for nothing and everything a lot...wow. Like an example is when my son tried to 'rinse' his plate, she freaked. In our home, they rinse their plates, it's habit, so I guess he forgot they don't do that there and she got upset. I guess I missed the mark somewhere since they didn't want to tell me she was mistreating them. I saw some things here and there, thinking back but never anything really serious. I've told my kids no longer, to worry about hurt feelings, if something like this happens again, to tell me immediately.

I see this as an irritation but a blessing as well. Thank you for letting me vent!
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Old 05-10-2014, 11:41 AM
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NightOwl NightOwl is offline
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You poor thing. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I was the kind of thoughtless, disloyal, selfish person she is. You and your children deserve better.
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Old 05-11-2014, 12:36 PM
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Definitely sounds like it is a blessing. Especially since you now found out your kids were not really happy there. Your kids will have a better summer now and you will be more at ease somewhere else.
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Old 05-12-2014, 03:25 PM
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Heidi Heidi is offline
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You know, we tell our kids to report anything that makes them feel bad/sad/uncomfortable, and so often, they don't because they want to spare our feelings or someone else's.

Sounds like you're raising sweet kids. I hope they truly LOVE their new place!
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Old 05-13-2014, 10:26 AM
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I think I would faint if a SA dck even offered to help, let alone rinse a plate. My own kids do that as well, and I think it's awesome.

This honestly sounds like a blessing in disguise. She may be burnt out (yelling is a big indicator of that), we all get that way, but most providers recognize it, have a fall back plan (I have the kids play all day or have special days when I am D O N E with our regular schedule), and I plan a day off---weeks in advance, that I do nothing child or child care related.

Another thought- she may just be eliminating school age care and not want to tell you. SA'ers (and no napping=no break) is TOUGH on providers. Even the BEST sa child makes my day VERY VERY long. I accept one at a time, based strictly on who I enjoy the most and who my kids get along with since they are home for summer. I terminated one for this summer to replace him with a younger/better fit and better schedule.

I would do as Heidi suggested, and tell your kids to TALK TO YOU, you are there to help, support, offer advice and even though you DO have to work, you DO have time for them and will make time if need be. They sound like sweet kids.
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Old 05-17-2014, 08:00 AM
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Thanks ladies I appreciate the support.

Unfortunately, I guess the old dcp wanted to take another school ager for a friend and would have been over ratio. Sad, that she had to LIE about it. Like I wouldn't find out...It's all good.

AND:

Remember the mom I referred the new DCP to? Well...

First dcp and I are still FB friends, and she made the mistake of posting how she had taken the same DCM's sick child on Wed. OOPS. lol So much for closing!

I don't like lies. I even directly asked her and she still could not be honest. I could see if my kids were brats or were being disrespectful in some way, but I'm not one of those parents that let them get away with ANYTHING.

They are loving the new provider a LOT better! The new provider actually met the old one by accident. She said the old provider had the impression I was using her as a back up or for holidays. Um, no if you don't want my kids, you don't want my kids and I am not paying you for backup when I can pay someone who wants them! We have other backup and the kids only go to dc 2x a week anyway so chances are rare we would even need it. The new DC provider also felt a little bit uncomfortable with the forwardness of the old one. The old one was talking about all her dc kids, by name, etc...confidentiality much? She did say that the old one did not have anything bad to say about my kids and raved about them. So that's a plus. I think she got burnt out and it is easier to take her friend's one kid than my 3. I just wish she didn't lie.

But hey, whatever. It is what it is and the new place is better and they don't get yelled at there.
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Old 05-17-2014, 01:12 PM
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Josiegirl Josiegirl is offline
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Wow, what a stinking thing for her to do and yes, she should have been much more honest about everything. At least give you a proper notice! Karma, baby, Karma.
I'm glad your kids are happier where they are now!
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