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Old 04-05-2017, 10:34 AM
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Default Which Family To Choose?

I think I know the answer, but I needed some feedback before proceeding.

At the start of the year, one of my kiddos went part time because mom was on an extended maternity leave. I did share that I couldn't hold spaces, and if I filled them I wouldn't have a full time to space to offer him in the fall when she returns to work (and he must have a FT spot in order for it to work for the family). Mom understood.

I JUST offered additional days to current families (after checking with her one more time), and they eagerly accepted them. I shared this with mom, and she is now wishing to have those days back. Essentially, this means he can't return in the fall, and she's realizing other full-time options aren't as great as she hoped. I do have other families that wish to take the remainder of his days for the fall.

So, either way I'm full for the fall, but I feel kind of terrible with whatever decision I make.

I REALLY like the little guy and he's a great fit for the group. It is a small group, so group dynamics do matter.

I also REALLY don't want to ask other families to give up those days they just accepted (even though I think they would be empathetic and this is a very close and friendly group. They did know she was having a hard time making a decision about her work status and the future). I especially don't want to ask, because we've already done some schedule flip flopping to adjust for this family, and there is chance they could change their mind again. I made the mistake of not collecting a deposit with my first families, so there is no financial incentive to tell me of plan changes in advance.

I think the answer is that I'm running a business and my personal feelings about this kid don't particularly matter in this situation, but I felt compelled to ask. I've only been open about a year and a half, so this is the first turnover I've had. NOT FUN.
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Old 04-05-2017, 10:46 AM
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You want consistency and stability. Whichever way gives you the best of that is the best business decision. Sounds to me like you're making the right choice.
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Old 04-05-2017, 10:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike View Post
You want consistency and stability. Whichever way gives you the best of that is the best business decision. Sounds to me like you're making the right choice.
You're totally right. Thank you!
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Old 04-05-2017, 10:56 AM
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You did your due diligence. You told mom if she gave up her days, you wouldn't be able to accommodate FT care. I would ask if she would be willing to go on a waiting list for a FT space for fall.

This Mom did what she thought was best for HER. She didn't seem to care about the impact it had on you financially. Now, it's your turn to do the same.
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Old 04-05-2017, 11:14 AM
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Fact: The slot was not important enough to her to pay for it.

That has not changed.

That should not cause you guilt or a false sense of loyalty. You deserved better treatment from her. Remember that.
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Old 04-05-2017, 11:16 AM
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I 100% agree with Mike.

From your post it appears you feel some sort of obligation or guilt about making the best decision for your business which you actually already made when DCM declined the extra days and you offered those days to others.... DCM did not feel obligation or guilt when she reduced to part time. If her ds's childcare was a need (for her to be able to work) she should have protected that...

This behavior on the parents part actually surprises me when I read it on here because my own dd's preschool parents would not even dare ask they would know the "center" would not hold or have spots after their maternity leave so parents would not even dare ask.... maybe because we are home based providers, parents expect us to be "emotional" and "sensitive" to their pregnancy, their budget, etc. and put our own business aside for their life.

You are doing the right thing....
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Old 04-05-2017, 11:18 AM
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Sounds like maternity leave mom thought that you needed her more than she needed you. She called your bluff. I am betting that she didn't think you'd be able to fill those empty spaces and would be glad to have her back in the fall at full rate.

I'd tell her that as you had already warned, the space is no longer available and that she may keep the space she now has or leave and can go on your wait list if she wishes to return when you DO have space. I'd not put multiple other clients out by asking them to give up space for someone like this mom.
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Old 04-05-2017, 11:38 AM
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This is so, so helpful and exactly why I needed to ask.

You're all very right, and I have felt guilt about this situation. I'm learning so much from you all.
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Old 04-05-2017, 11:48 AM
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Try not to fill guilty! It's your business and you've handled the situation perfectly. It's the family who should feel guilty for not respecting you and your business! 😃

Also, I wouldn't go back on my word to the other families! It's not professional.
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Old 04-05-2017, 12:10 PM
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Quote:
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Also, I wouldn't go back on my word to the other families! It's not professional.
Yep.
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Old 04-05-2017, 12:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
Fact: The slot was not important enough to her to pay for it.

That has not changed.

That should not cause you guilt or a false sense of loyalty. You deserved better treatment from her. Remember that.
I agree.

I said, "Oh brother!" when you mentioned she now wants the spots back after you filled them (even though you asked her if she wanted them before filling them). I think you made a great choice.
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Old 04-05-2017, 12:29 PM
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If you would choose to take him back, what stops mom from changing her mind again? She can flip flop as quick as she did when you told her you filled his spot. And the other families may find other care, because they will feel like you chose this family over them and then you could end up with no one.
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Old 04-05-2017, 01:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by racemom View Post
If you would choose to take him back, what stops mom from changing her mind again? She can flip flop as quick as she did when you told her you filled his spot. And the other families may find other care, because they will feel like you chose this family over them and then you could end up with no one.
And I'd say there is a very, very strong possibility this could happen!
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Old 04-05-2017, 01:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist View Post
I agree.

I said, "Oh brother!" when you mentioned she now wants the spots back after you filled them (even though you asked her if she wanted them before filling them). I think you made a great choice.
This is a great point that I didn't even consider!
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Old 04-05-2017, 01:22 PM
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Another parent that thinks their daycare provider does nothing but wait on their decisions....

I say, DCM already gave you an answer.
She opted NOT to take the space.

Now they are full and she wants it?
I would simply tell her the option is no longer available as she DID have first dibs but passed.

HER choice = HER loss.

You said "I JUST offered additional days to current families and they eagerly accepted them."

My answer is to take/keep those families that are SHOWING you they appreciate you/your program/services.
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Old 04-06-2017, 03:08 AM
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Listen to the wise people of the forum and let go of the guilt. I think offering to put her on the wait list is a great idea too.
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