Now I do not have a specific ******** opinion on this I was just wondering how other daycare or childcare owners feel when a parent drops off early or picks up DCK late in order to get things donem I have a few feelings on it. I understand a parents needs a break and that sometimes its difficult to get things done with a kid around. However to be honest I don't think its all that difficult. I have a parents who is constantly doing this to her 3 1/2 year old. Now while I don't mind because its in contracted hours the boy has a really hard time with it because he knows mommy isn't going to work sooooooo he has a melt down that he normally doesn't have because he feels as if mommy doesn't want to be around him. I just feel bad for the little boy and I also understand kids (degree in child psychology and working with kids for a very long time) I was just wondering what other providers felt on this matter?

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I shortened my hours, so now everybody picks up by a reasonable time, and now I can get things done.

I used to work 12 hours a day, and 90% of the parents would go home after work, start dinner, take a shower, then come get the kids at 6:30..or a few minutes later. Then, some would go to the gym and then come get the kids. So, I could never go do anything.

If they are within my hours, I don't care WHAT they do or where they are.

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I think it depends on how long the child is in daycare. When I was subbing in the schools, I would sometimes have a half day and I would be done around nap time. I didn't want to do that to my kids or the daycare provider, so I would get some stuff done and come get them at my scheduled pick up time (as it would be if I were working a full day). This wasn't an every day thing for me and I DID do errands with my children.

Now, as a daycare provider, if it were an every day thing, and the child were already at daycare for a LONG time, I'd be a little annoyed with parents.

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I really don't care what they do, as long as they pick up on time. I have asked that the parents not tell the kids they aren't going to work, though.

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I decided to turn a blind eye to it. It's none of my business.

I do have opinions about it but I keep it to myself and keep it on a business level.

Furthermore, I don't do contracted hours. Parents are free to use the entire 12 hours. Most don't, but some have.

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Yea honestly it doesn't bother me very much at all (unless she picks up suppper late) other than the fact that it's becoming a habit with her. It's how badly I feel for the boy. He throws a fit like throwing himself around no one can comfort him until she leaves and I try not to get too close to him to console him because he starts hitting and kicking and I'm pregnant so I don't want him kicking or hitting me. However once she's gone he lets me hold him and he calms down and she wears a uniform to work so when she's not wearing it he knows when she's not going. It's just breaks my heart.

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If it is a regular scheduled day for their child I really don't care. The only thing I do care about is if you aren't at work, I better be able to reach you via cellphone in case there is an emergency! So please let me know if you aren't going to work.

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I normally don't care what they do either as long as they pick up and drop off at their contracted times and pay me on time. If they contract 8 hours a day and only work for 6 hours, I still don't care.

I do disagree though that the little boy you care for is actually feeling like his mom doesn't want to spend time with him. He may be sad because he isn't with her but it isn't because he can decipher between her needing to be at work and just having free time she isn't using to be with him. I don't think kids are able to think like that at that age. He may feel that way because of how others have influenced him to feel, but he wouldn't have had the skills to think "Oh, mommy doesn't want to spend time with me" on his own.

He is exhibiting those reactions/feeling based on outside influences. (FWIW~I have studied child psych too and have a degree in ECE).

Mom needs to spend some quality time with this child. She needs to stop "lying" to him about her going to work (wearing her uniform on off days) and not going to work. She needs to step up and give her child what he needs. Time with her. She also needs to be a parent and simply say "Billy, you are going to daycare today and I will pick you up later." Period. No discussion about where she is going and why Those conversations are what is influencing her child to "feel" like he does. He is feeling like work is the "enemy" because SHE is influencing him to feel that way by the lying!

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No dropping off early and no picking up late unless the parent gets prior approval. Even then, the rate increases dramatically.

I don't care if they take a 1/2 day off work early, go tanning, grocery shopping, have lunch with a friend, etc. They better be here at their scheduled departure time.

I do contracted hours. Most parents don't like the idea of paying more money so they'll get grandma or auntie or a school ager to watch their kid if it means less or no money.

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I am open for 10 hours a day. I feel what they do in thier own time is none of my business.

Where I live, The DCK's houses encircle a large field so we can all see each others backyards.

So yesterday I could see one of the DCD hanging up his Christmas Lights

If you have a half day, why not!!! It's a pain in the butt when the kids are nagging at you, while your hanging off the roof!

Im still getting paid and the kids all get picked up on time.

I find that there are just somethings that can get done faster without my children trailing behind me.

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Ok so if that is not the case then please explain to me why in the world he only acts this way when she drops him off on days she doesn't work? when no one and nothing influences his actions. I do believe children are smarter than we give them credit for.

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I completely agree with you. Sometimes it is easier, however should parents make it a habit? Like 2 or 3 times a week?

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oh ok for some reason I did not see the last paragraph lol sorry silly me!

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Because for some reason or action the mom does, he is led to believe that he should only accept being left at daycare when mom works. She has done or said something that leads him to believe this.

If she hasn't then why is she lying about going to work and actually wearing her uniform on "off" days just to fool him?!! That in itself is strange. I have never had a parent go that far to appease a child who simply wants to be with mom.

...YES!!! Kids are a lot smarter than we think they are. I absolutely 100% agree. I just don't think they process things as adults do and parents often attach adult reactions/feelings to children's behaviors. Children are smart but they are also simplistic and not as complex and complicated as their older counterparts. KWIM?

For example, I had a 16 month old who HATED going down for nap time. He fought it tooth and nail. Mom ran herself ragged trying to figure out his issue and why he was so against sleeping. She read books, she changed schedules, food, drinks and routines. She bought a white noise machine, a night light and even did a reward chart. She consulted her pediatrician and even thought about seeing a counselor so everyone in her house (and daycare) could finally rest without her DS screaming his head off.

Know what the problem was? The PNP. He simply wanted to sleep on a mat like the rest of the kids. He is and has been my star napper ever since we figured it out. He now sleeps in a toddler bed at home and goes willingly to bed every single night.

I have several other examples of children thinking in simplistic values versus how adults perceive problems and issues but that was one I could think of right off the top of my head.

I am not saying that this boy doesn't feel bad that mom isn't with him. I am just saying he feels badly on her "off" days because SHE influences him too. She might even encourage it because that way she is placated by her child wanting her but her not wanting him. It's kind of like the mom that drops her child off and says goodbye until the child gets upset and then they leave feeling good that the child misses them....

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yes lol read my above comment I for some reason did not see the last paragraph hahaha. So yes agree with you.

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No problem. You probably didn't see it because I edited and added it so it was probably not there the first time.

Poor little boy though.....

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Probably. Yes it breaks my heart, but after she leaves he's usually ok the rest of the day.

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In my opinion i feel like its because the parent cannot handle the child. When my first was in daycare i never left him at daycare if i wasnt working. In my experience i have a family that does this everyday, i think its cause they cant stand there 5 kids, or cant handle being a parent. My opinion if you dont like to be around your child there is something wrong with you. I hate this i feel like your child is only a kid for so long and i would assume people would want to spend time with there kids, but thats wrong to think people should want to be around there kids. Alot of my parents leave there child all day even when they are not busy.. I also think alot of parents feel like if they are paying for daycare then there child should get to be there all day... Thats why i put a 9 hr clause in my contract to prevent parents from leaving them all day, its bad enough we see there child more than them but the fact that they leave them when they need to go to grocery store, shopping, run errands, etc...

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On a professional level this is how I feel.

On a personal level, I never felt right leaving my children in daycare unless I was working.

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VERY TRUE. Maybe I am just a kid person but I just love being around kids. I can't imagine leaving my child (when he gets here in a few months) somewhere else all day long. I can see maybe once in a blue moon with some parents. I have a parent who will ask me on her way from work if it's ok if she stops and gets gas, or stops at the pharmacy before pickup. OF COURSE it's ok, I don't mind at all! but when someone makes a habit of it it's hard not to develop opinions if you know what I mean.

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If a parent wants they're child here and it's contracted hours---work or not--I'm ok with it for the most part. If they feel they HAVE to have they're child here because they are paying for the time---that makes me sad.

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i agree!!! congradulations, im pregnant as well but not due for another 5 mos...

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THANKS! congratulations to you too! I am due with my first in 3 monthes I am so excited!

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Saying that there is something wrong with a parent who doesn't spend enough time with their child is not very tolerant or accepting of different family cultures and beliefs. Not every parent feels that they need to spend every waking second with their child. It doesn't make them a bad parent or have something wrong with them. Many cultures and families place value on different things in regard to how to parent. Some use AP aproaches, others are helicopter parents, others are involved and living vicariously through their children while others are super uninvolved. No ONE way is the right way. It is the more what you do with the time, not how much you have.

I have a dcm who spends ALOT of time with her child. They aren't actually interacting a whole bunch, they are both just in the same room/house together when mom isn't working. The child is NEVER here unless the mom is working. I have another dcm who brings her child to me for 9.5 hours per day, 5 days a week. The mom only works 7 hours a day and for 4 days a week. HOWEVER, this mom does spend quality time with her child. When she is with him, they snuggle, read books, go to museums, spend time outdoors, see plays and movies together and spend time at a story time hour at the library.

I think it has nothing to do with the quantity of time a parent spends with their child but more to do with quality of time. I would much rather see a parent give 3 hours of quality time then 3 days of co-existing without any real substance involved in the interactions. KWIM?

Putting a clause in your contract stating how many hours a child can be at care does nothing to guarantee that the parent is spending the time with their child. Who knows, the parent can easily pick up the child after the 9 hour limit and drop them off at a babysitters, another daycare or worse, park them in front of the TV and still spend zero time with them. Atleast at daycare, they were with an adult who actually interacts with them.

You canNOT force a parent to spend time with their child. You can put all the time limits in your policies you want but it is not proactive. Educating the parent about the importance of quality time would be more beneficial

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