How do ya'll set your "reset buttons?"

I have been feeling very negative lately, about almost everything. I'm sooooooo sick and tired of watching other kids, on top of my own 3 very young kids. I feel angry and depressed, and overworked, and underappreciated. I see no end in sight, and I wont be getting any help from anyone to fix any of the issues I am having.

There has to be a way that I can give myself an attitude adjustment that I will believe I can accomplish.

What do you do for a pick me up? (Forget hanging out with friends- most of mine are pregnant SAHMs- they don't understand being stuck at home with a bunch of daycare kids and your own, and they are all wrapped up in the mommy-war battles of 'my kid is better than yours.') I need to make a change. But how? Where do I start?

HELP! I need to get out of this downward attitude and negative feeling spiral!

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Is there a particular dck giving you a hard time? I find that when I start disliking my job usually this is the case for me.

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What did you do before you had kids?

Movies, read, work out, art, write poems?

Make that happen. Make a promise to yourself to take an evening or a Saturday morning or a Sunday afternoon each week to do something for you. Go sit in a Starbucks or library or a park. Go for a hike.

DH can handle the kids. The house may not be as clean, the kids may eat cheetos, but it'll be ok.

If he doesn't already, make sure your DH gets to do the same.

I don't know if you get out together, but please try to do that, too. Make a night a month where you get a sitter.

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Before I begin, big hug!

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. We ALL get that way girl. I blame the weather. Lack of sunshiny vitamin D=sad days for me.

Changing your whole life at once is a stress all in it's own, but just changing one thing at a time can make a huge impact!

I'd start with a crazy new haircut. Take the day off some Friday, ditch the kids with grandparents or friends, and go get a new look. Cut, color, highlights, everything. Check Groupon! It's so refreshing to see a different person in the mirror that you tend to see every part of your life in a different light! Some will say it's a little superficial, but I promise it's a great place to start! Not to mention all the compliments you'll receive will really boost your self esteem. You deserve it!

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I hear you. I can completely relate.
CraftyMom made a point, that I myself have had to adjust to make things brighter here. I may not have as much $ until I get replacements, but I'm weeding out the problems right now, and I feel so much better, and hopeful about my child care's future.
Also, like others have said, make time for some YOU time!

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I definitely think that the weather is playing a big part, as well as hormone fluctuations. It's been cold, snowy, or rainy since last October. We had a 2 day reprieve this last weekend, but its supposed to snow tomorrow I was a very outdoorsy person. and being cooped up in the house with too many kids to leave for the past 7 months is about to have me knocking on the door of the insane asylum. Starting in May, I will have my Fridays completely off, which I think will help a lot, but I will still have my 3 kids 5 and under, so it isn't like its a big break.

I mostly need to figure out how to break the cycle of negativity in my own mind. I used to be so healthy and happy. I would walk in the sun and smile, with my wheatgrass shots and an apple, and have the most positive outlook on life. Who knows- maybe it is the lack of sunshine, but I have to figure out how to pull myself out of this bad place.

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Go get a Vitamin D supplement! It can't hurt, and may help, right?

Can you go out for a brisk walk in the a.m. before the kiddos arrive? Even 15-20 minutes alone, breathing fresh air, might help. We're starting to get daylight at 6 am now here.

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Here...this should cheer you up. This is what we woke up to this morning...after being in the low to mid 60's last week.

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In a word: VACATION. It doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate, it needs to be a break! Even if you feel that you can't close daycare, do it on a weekend. If you can't leave home, then book a day of relaxation for yourself...sitting in the corner of the library reading for hours, get a 2 hour massage then do some window shopping. Hike a nature trail, take a long bike ride, even go sit in a good friend's backyard drinking dacquiris!

I love my job, but I get to feeling the same way sometimes. Even an afternoon running errands alone can be a mini-vacation for me! Try something new or do something you love-it can help. If you're able to get away for an overnight trip all alone, all the better!

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I am starting to feel similar.

I think my issue in large part due to the weather! It was pretty nice last week and of course today it's snowing. I hired my assistant to come spent most of the day (9a-3p) with my kiddos tomorrow - it just so happens I only have 3 in attendance tomorrow so it works out well. I have no idea what I'll be doing but I'll be doing it FAR AWAY from the house!

Try to carve out some "you" time. I completely understand how difficult that is - as I have 4 kiddos of my own plus the daycare. Fortunately 2 of mine are in school, now, so it's a little easier with only 2 that are not in school.

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Totally agree with all the PPs. You need "me" time. I'm just coming out of a similar slump. It's rough. I think it's something most providers experience.

I have two young kids myself, so weekends aren't exactly a break. I sometimes just have to declare "enough" and leave the kids with DH. Even if it's just to run to target alone, or go for a walk in ACTUAL silence.

The weather always makes a huge difference for me, so vitamin D couldn't hurt!

Taking impromptu road trips on weekends (just driving to a new place a couple of hours away) really helps us break up the monotony as well.

Also, I think it was Cat Herder who suggested this book, but reading this book has been helpful:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/192961...&robot_redir=1

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I can relate completely. Although I am new to operating a dc, I am not new to teaching and having five grandkids of my own who I see a lot on my down time. I think the biggest difference in running the dc is that you can't escape!! There is rarely a minute of the very loooooong day when you aren't talking to someone or they are just yapping constantly all day. One of mine all during nap as well. And some days I am ok w that and love it! Then others not so much add in the stress of getting ready for my yearly re licensing visit and one who wants to wake everyone at nap and I just want to escape. You have my sympathy and admiration for recognizing that you feel that way. I am going to get a haircut and take some vit D.

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For a child care supervisor class I recently took (final was last week), it was an actual homework assignment every week that we had to write and do a "Self Balancing Act"; where we had to try to do something we consider relaxing and just for us to avoid burn out. It can be something as small as just taking a 15 minute walk to something big like taking a trip.

Somethings I did for this assignment:
Walk
Listen to music
Watch tv or a movie
Read a book or magazine
(Attempting to) Give blood/volunteer
Playing bingo
Going on a trip for spring break
Playing computer games

Some things other people in class have mentioned:
Going on a date with spouse/significant other
Going to see a friend
Going to the gym
Going for a jog/bike ride/ swim/ drive
Going to a movie or play
Going to the park
writing
Going shopping
Going out for lunch/dinner
Taking a long nap
Taking a long bath/shower
Book club
Bible study
Social outtings
Mani/pedi
Facial
Massage

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How about all of us take a vacation without our spouses and own kids... Who's in????

Mememememdmememeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... I already bought my ticket going anywhere lol...

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.........
That's great!!! TY, made my day!!!

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How about a cruise? Went on my first one last December and no one from land can even contact you unless it is an emergency!

Laurel

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Let's go!!!

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Besides the excellent suggestions above consider mixing up your day or simplfying your day.

The last two days I have just not felt like doing our normal things like taking trips almost daily to the park. I didn't even feel like going outside. Soooo, we didn't. Now some of this might get me flamed but who cares. This is just an occasional thing and it helps me get my mojo back.

I keep the same lunch/nap schedule, etc. but other than that we just go with the flow. Yesterday I left the t.v. on all morning in the playroom (flames yet?). Actually they barely watched it but would catch some on the fly while playing. So when something caught their interest it was some mini 'quiet time' for me. We didn't go out at all.

Today so far we were ready to resume our regular schedule but I just followed their lead. After they had their shoes on to go out in the yard, they started (I only have 2 today) doing other things. So instead of saying "Let's go out" I started playing Candy Crush Saga (flame thrower anyone?). These two are two and three year olds and they play with me. On level 16 we can almost always win and they can touch it at random. If you make the wrong move, you don't lose any turns in this game. Then we got bored with that (and the tablet needed to be recharged) so I took them into the spare bedroom so I could change out books. I keep them and various other things we aren't using in there. A new room with the sunshine coming through the window was very relaxing. I organized all the books while they dumped out a rubbermaid box of infant toys which they are way too old for. They had a good time sorting through them. They also got out the doll things which I keep in there and we found some real Pampers left from another baby and we put them on the dolls, etc. Just a new room, new things to do mixed up our day.

No telling what we will do tomorrow. It has been really fun for them and a break for me. Plus we found a lot of things that we could bring out to the playroom. Since that room is basically storage, I found things in the wrong bin that I forgot I had. Found treasure!

Laurel

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Cruise ships running aground.....

Rampant norovirus......

Crazy tales of food related illnesses from the buffets....

People falling overboard/disappearing......


No. No thank you to a cruise.

A road trip though would fun! Or just a convention somewhere.

Anything, anywhere that does not involve periodic diaper checks, continuous positive reinforcement and snot wiping sounds great to me!!!

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My friend cruises regularly. She's never had a problem on Royal Carribean. I wouldn't go on Carnival though. We took Royal Carribean. People don't 'fall' overboard most probably. They get stinking drunk and sit on the rails!! They must be dumber than doormats. We loved every minute of our cruise. Before we went on ours a lot of people told me about them as I wanted info. I didn't hear one bad thing. Of course, I did that when I went to Las Vegas too and everyone loves that place. I must be weird cause I have no desire to go back there again.

Speaking of conventions, one time I did hear of a daycare provider one on a cruise ship. I don't think I'd want to think about daycare while on vacation though. Huh?

Laurel

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This is the only cruise "ship" I plan on ever taking.

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Music. Listen to something you absolutely love. This snaps me out of short term grumpiness. Music has a wonderful healing capacity.

Hobby. Find something you love to do and set aside an evening to do it. Even if you have to put your own kids to bed first and stay up a little later. It free the mind to concentrate on a task.

OK this one will sound dumb, but really works for me. Clean and organize some small area in your home. Your desk, you're spice rack, your junk drawer. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment I get from cleaning or organizing

Exercise. Good for mind and body, 'nuff said.

Me personally.....well......I have a very fast motorcycle. This really blows the cobwebs out for me. Terrible advice, I know, but my Ninja is my baby.

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It sounds like caregiver never get turned off. You need to have things to look forward too. For me its the weekends with my family. We are active. We do things. A night out with a friend. The gym. Hobbies that you like. I think for many becoming a Mom means that you sink yourself into the ship of kids and leave nothing left for yourself. Wrong answer. Its good for our children to see us happy and living our lives. Yes when the child is sick and needs mom we should be there but not every single moment of life does it make you a better Mom to be always in Mom mode- Its not good for you and it is not good for your children. Taking care of other peoples children is taxing and then you pile that onto your own kiddo's. You have the possibility for a down hill spiral if you don't have some breathing time, self time, friends, time, hubby or partner time.

Hormones can be horrible- best advise on this is exercise and good diet and sleep

learn to let small stuff go.......tomorrow is another day. Do the important stuff but the little stuff unless its urgent to be done it can wait

get outside, fresh air does wonders

move something around, clean something out, get a fresh look on your surroundings.

Hang on and ride it out, it will get better. Do what you can do to make it better. You get one chance at life, why not make it the most it can be........way too much negativity in this world that I don't need to add to it. I try to remember this when needed and I am down in the dumps. I think of others that have it worse.

best-

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you have your own cruise ship

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We've had days like this, too - so if you get flamed, I'll go down burnin' with ya.

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First, hugs.

I know exactly how you feel, as I'm just now starting to come out of a slump myself. And having to take care of 3 little ones after the dck's go home....how well I understand.

In addition to what was mentioned above, I plan little excursions. I get online, look at Travelocity and other sites like that. I plan an alone getaway for the day or the weekend. And then....I don't take them. For some reason, just planning them out and "running away" in my imagination is enough to get me through.
But I agree about taking a Saturday or Sunday to yourself once in a while. Let Dad take care of the kiddos for the day, complete with way-too-much TV time and McD's happy meals.

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If anyone loves a good series... I recommend the life after war series by Angela white... Volumes 1-3 are free on amazon kindle... And currently I'm on the last (6). Warning though, each book is like 600-800 digital pages.. But worth every one...

She is a FASCINATING writer... You can find info about it here...and her blog...

http://authorangelawhite.blogspot.com

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Haha, thanks!

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It`s not easy task when you have your own children 24 hours a day. But, my best advice is to stay away from negativity. Make drop offs and pick ups quick with your clients, writing your schedule and a quick note of the day activities will be one way of not to have them even to walk inside your house during pick up or drop offs. Remember parents can drain us with their problems. There`s no reason to let kids make you stressed, they need attention, but you also need time for yourself. Let them play on their own every 45 minutes for about 30 to 40 minutes while you make yourself comfortable on the couch with a fun, relaxing book which has nothing to do with children in it, like I do,I like flowers/plants/psychology, I read it all while I look over them playing with each other. Don`t answer phone calls, even from parents, setup a texting messages with parents if they need to reach you, that way it does not disturb the children, and the day will be much calmer. Also, as soon as you get up from bed say, " Beautiful Day, I Love My Job!".
Try it...I`m so calm since I adopted this technics from a friend.

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To help with the negative thinking I highly recommend the book The Four Agreements. Time for yourself away from your kids is very important as well! I only have one kid so I can't imagine having 3 young ones. Hang in there, this like all things shall pass!

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