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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Older Sibling Vent....
youretooloud 03:48 PM 03-30-2011
Most of my daycare parents teach at the same school. So, they all get here at the same time.

The seven year old sister of one of my kids always wants to come inside and play. That'd be fine, but I've put everything away, and I don't want her going through everything.

Today it was about 95 degrees outside, so I won't let them keep the doors open. She immediately throws the back door open, runs outside, leaving it standing open. So, I go over and close it. MOm says "Sister is out there!" I said "I know, but she can open it again when she comes back in". She comes in, throws the door open, leaves it open, and I said "close that please". She says "OK", but doesn't close it. So, I walk across the house to close it AGAIN. This time, I locked it. She decides, she can't have that happen, so she goes out and leaves the door open.

So, I got rude and said "Sister, you need to come back in, since you can't close the door, and now you have to stay inside". She freaking bursts into tears, runs to her mom and says "I wanted to use the water table!!!!"

I have the little sibling dressed and ready to go every day. Why must they come in and let the seven year old ransack the house???

Then, to make things worse, the seven year old is very overweight. So, Mom keeps telling me how it's so hard on her in school, and she's very sad because the kids don't want to be her friend. Which I bet is partially true... but, maybe it's because she's slightly annoying too. It might not be her body that kids are judging.. it might be the fact that she can burst into tears at every little criticism. So, I feel bad harping on her like that, but most seven year olds can close a door. Without being told or shown three times in ten minutes. Right?
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Unregistered 04:12 PM 03-30-2011
you need to take control of pickup time. I have a sibling policy that states kids are not allowed to play with anything in the daycare room and are preferred to stay out, period. Can you not have the younger sib ready to go at the door and not even let older sibling in?
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Blackcat31 10:09 AM 03-31-2011
I have a couple of families who have older children that either no longer attend or have never attended. I had a similar problem with these kids and some of the behaviors they bring in with them. (I even have a closed off entry way that parents stay in). After awhile, I couldn't stand it anymore and just outright told all the parents that I would appreciate if they did not allow the older sibs to come in.

I also do not allow them to play outside at my house either because if they get hurt or injured I am NOT going to be held responsible for it...ALL sibs stay in the car and wait for the parent.

I have also had to talk with a couple families who make drop off and pick up a family affair. I am pretty sure that mom, dad, grandma, Aunt Debbie and big brother all do not need to come in when dropping off one kid.....
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jessrlee 10:14 AM 03-31-2011
I know that 95 is pretty warm. But can you have everyone ready to go and playing in the yard? That way 7yo won't have access to the house?
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youretooloud 10:18 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by jessrlee:
I know that 95 is pretty warm. But can you have everyone ready to go and playing in the yard? That way 7yo won't have access to the house?

I'd love to, but she'd have to come through the house to get to the yard. We don't have front yards out here.

I just need to get a backbone I think.

The other problem is, since four parents get here at the same time (even though they work together) they sit and chat forever, which gives the sibling time to tear up the house. The kids who have been here all day don't do this because they've been here, and they want to go home.
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jessrlee 10:21 AM 03-31-2011
Ahhhh, I've gotcha' now. Go round up hubs and demand a side gate tomorrow!

I would chat with the parents and let them know that pick ups are becoming to long. Scoot those little ones out as soon as you see the parents walk up the drive!
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nannyde 10:27 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
I'd love to, but she'd have to come through the house to get to the yard. We don't have front yards out here.

I just need to get a backbone I think.

The other problem is, since four parents get here at the same time (even though they work together) they sit and chat forever, which gives the sibling time to tear up the house. The kids who have been here all day don't do this because they've been here, and they want to go home.
See this is a deal where the parents want a free place to go to see their kids play with each other. There's no place on the planet better than someone else's house filled with toys and stuff to do. They get to hang out... stall time for when they have their kid on their clock AND get to visit with bff's while you host the whole thing.

NO

Tell them that they need to move it on over to the Mickey D's play area or they can take turns hosting it at their house.

You do NOT have to host free play groups for your clients.
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laundrymom 10:31 AM 03-31-2011
I would come up with a policy today....

Due to current transition issues,Effective Immediately I will begin charging additional fees for child care provided after you arrive to pick up your child Fee is as follows- $3.00 per minute calculated from 5 minutes after your arrival until you leave my property. Fee is charged per child whether or not child is enrolled. Also please insist anyone arriving with you stays in entry without disturbing children or environment. I hope you understand both my commitment to the children in care, and the importance of my personal down time has prompted this change. Please keep pickup time brief to reduce your additional fees. Fees are due prior to next day of care.
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nannyde 10:17 AM 03-31-2011
In my State she would count in my numbers and put me over capacity. Just tell the Mom that legally you can't have her playing onsite. You don't have the insurance to cover kids who don't attend the day care... or something like that.

I would also not like the germ thing... with her in school she can bring germs into the day care that the littles aren't used to.

Why can't you tell the Mom you don't want her playing in your home? She's obviously has a high liklihood of being exposed to rules she doesn't want. Why allow her to be unhappy in your house?
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daycare 10:42 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
In my State she would count in my numbers and put me over capacity. Just tell the Mom that legally you can't have her playing onsite. You don't have the insurance to cover kids who don't attend the day care... or something like that.

I would also not like the germ thing... with her in school she can bring germs into the day care that the littles aren't used to.

Why can't you tell the Mom you don't want her playing in your home? She's obviously has a high liklihood of being exposed to rules she doesn't want. Why allow her to be unhappy in your house?
this sounds like something that I would like to add to my PHB. I also have these issues as well, but then i also have some parents who have little babies that cant be left in the car, so how would I address this in my PHB to be fair to all.
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Tags:overly sensitive, sensitive, sibling - older, siblings, vent
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