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  #1  
Old 09-20-2011, 02:57 PM
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Default Serious Situation, Not Really Sure What To Do...

I have a group of sibling that have been enrolled for about a month now. Their good kids, get along great together...Well anyway, I was playing a game with one of the girls today and she had a bruise above her eye and I asked her what happened. I thought she was gonna say that she fell but she told me that her mom hit her in her eye. Of course I was alarmed by this. I am not sure if I am supposed to report this being the first time I have seen any bruises on any of the girls or if I should just make note of this and put it in a file. I know that just because it only happened once it is still a serious issue even though I have on seen one bruise this is why it is bothering me so much...

Help please!
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Old 09-20-2011, 03:02 PM
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Talk to the mom. Only you can decide if it is a situation of abuse or not. If you suspect abuse after talking with mom you are required by law to report. Either way, I would photgraph and document the situation, discussion with mom and any follow up.

FWIW~ I accidentally elbowed my DS when he was 2.5 yrs old. He was constantly following me around like super close. He got a HUGE black eye out of it. Whenever someone asked what happened, he would point at me and say "Mommy did it." It was true though, I did.
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Old 09-20-2011, 03:03 PM
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How old is the girl? Can you ask another sibling what happened? It's entirely possible that it was a totally innocent accident (girl standing too close behind mom, mom didn't know it and elbowed her). There was one time my DD got a bad cut on her forehead and was telling everyone that "Daddy pushed me into the wall!" which was, on the surface, true...but DH was standing up from the computer and DD came running up, DH tripped over her and she fell against the corner of the wall. I saw the whole thing, total accident, but sounded terrible the way DD said it.
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Old 09-20-2011, 03:13 PM
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I know accidents happen I have a small child too so I totally understand that. You all are right, I should just ask the parent what happened and go from there. I am so concerned because I know we are mandated reporters but I don't want to wrongfully report someone.
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Old 09-20-2011, 03:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by learn-n-grow View Post
she told me that her mom hit her in her eye.
I think out of curiosity I would have followed up with a "With what?" You need more details. Also, was Mom joking around?

It could be serious but it very well could have been an accident.

Kid runs up behind Mom as she's mopping and bonk - in the eye with the handle. Many scenarios.

Keep us posted.
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Old 09-20-2011, 03:33 PM
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by the way she will be 4 yrs old next week. Also, would it be considered snooping by asking her questions about what happened?
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Old 09-20-2011, 03:47 PM
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I don't think it would be snooping, but make sure you ask non-leading questions. Like when she said her mom hit her, I would have asked "how did that happen?" hoping the child would go into detail what specifically happened.
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Old 09-20-2011, 04:51 PM
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I agree with the others, ask the child for more details and then mention it to the mom at pick up. I wouldn't report anything unless mom's story doesn't sound right. If the siblings you watch are older I would just casually ask how little sis got the bruise on her head and see what they say.

I'll admit I've knocked down a little one a time or two usually when I don't realize they are right behind me and I turn quick. Normally they just end up on their bottom but I could see it resulting in a bruise or something too.
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Old 09-20-2011, 04:59 PM
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I recently posted a few pages straight from a class I took about when and how to report child abuse.

Other posters are correct. Always talk to the parent and just be simple about it.
I noticed Susie has a little black eye what happened?
Then decide If their story sounds realistic. Do document it and do jeep it on file along with what the mother says happened. If you don't believe the moms story stay with your gut and only you can do what is right.

I once had a DCB have a tv fall on his face. He tried to climb on the shelf it was on and it was bot secure so it fell on him. He looked horrible and had a huge black eye and bandaid on his forehead. But this was the only time anything like that had ever happened. No other weird bruises or strach so I just took a pic and stated what happened and left it in his file.
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Old 09-20-2011, 06:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
I recently posted a few pages straight from a class I took about when and how to report child abuse.

Other posters are correct. Always talk to the parent and just be simple about it.
I noticed Susie has a little black eye what happened?
Then decide If their story sounds realistic. Do document it and do jeep it on file along with what the mother says happened. If you don't believe the moms story stay with your gut and only you can do what is right.

I once had a DCB have a tv fall on his face. He tried to climb on the shelf it was on and it was bot secure so it fell on him. He looked horrible and had a huge black eye and bandaid on his forehead. But this was the only time anything like that had ever happened. No other weird bruises or strach so I just took a pic and stated what happened and left it in his file.
I would like to read the pages that you posted. Where can I find them?
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Old 09-20-2011, 07:16 PM
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this happened to me and a dcm, you know how kids love to follow you around, well our kids loved to follow us around when we vacuum, so as we swing our arm back, boom right into their eyes, giving the kids a black eye. Its one of those things.
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Old 09-21-2011, 04:37 AM
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I would ask mom and keep an eye on her for more bruises just in case.

When my dd was 3 my ex accidently clipped the chest clip on her carseat and caught her skin with it. She had a huge blood blister and part of it broke the ski. The blood blister was there f-o-r-e-v-e-r and any time she was asked what happened she said, "Daddy pinched me until I was bleeding"
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Old 09-21-2011, 04:50 AM
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If I was to question my parents every time their child came in with a
bruise or scrape, I am sure they would get tired of it. Kids get hurt, they get bruises, they do stupid things, they lie. Thankfully 99% of the time not on my watch. I deal with young kids that lie every day, it is just a part of growing up I guess. Usually they are little white lies like she did it not me, still lies. I don't think I would say anything, but keep a watch on them.

A few years ago, I had a 3 1/2 yr old tell me that her daddy was up in a tree and fell out of it and broke his leg, and that he was using crutches. When the mom came to pick up, I asked her how her husband was, and she had no idea what I was talking about, I told her the girl's story, and it was all a lie.
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Old 09-21-2011, 10:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by learn-n-grow View Post
I would like to read the pages that you posted. Where can I find them?
They can be found in this thread: http://daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34302
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Old 09-21-2011, 01:48 PM
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I would casually ask, just to know. If you notice something when they come in, i was always taught to say something so the parents know you see it and it didnt happen at your home incase they try to be shifty! just a little, oh, honey, what happened?
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