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  #1  
Old 10-17-2011, 01:24 PM
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Default Does This Sound Confrontational … Letter To Bug Bite Dad

My husband says that I get emotional when I talk about this so I just wanted to make sure this letter does not sound confrontational.


Side note: Of course I get emotional this man is accusing me of not having a clean house.


Dear ****,

This letter is in response to the E-mail you sent on, October 14, 2011. I will not be able to discuss issue regarding **** with **** until and unless I have permission in writing. Please keep in mind that I will continue to put some communications in writing. Such as those that a very important or when passing a large amount of information. I would do this even if I communicated directly with you.
I understand your concern of the possibility that something at my house is cause problems with Gavin’s skin. Therefore, I have followed the advice of the environmental health department, and placed sticky traps out. They did not catch anything. This was done, with the equipment and in the manner, which the expert from the environmental health department, said would catch, flees, bed bugs, or gnats, if anywhere present.
I will continue to amongst other household cleaning vacuum the carpet in the living room and the square in the entryway every business day before any day care children arrive. I have arranged to have the carpet cleaned in the near future as this was the time of year I had planned to do this anyway. I will continue to check Gavin for marks everyday before leaving his school with him and everyday before he leave my house.
I will not be using a blanket on the floor until and unless we have concrete proof that, a blanket on the carpet will help the problem and not hinder it.
Should you have any question or concerns about this matter please, use some form of in person communication, such as, calling on the phone or talking to me in person. Please DO NOT E-mail on this matter as I am not receiving your E-mails in a timely manner and cannot and will not commit to being able to check my e-mail in a timely manner.


Thank you

Last edited by Michael; 10-17-2011 at 01:27 PM.
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  #2  
Old 10-17-2011, 01:29 PM
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Why would you prefer to not have documentation in the form of emails?

EDIT:

I also read your other post.. on your OP Dad gave written permission for you to disclose information to Girlfriend already. It was in a response to another letter you sent previously on this topic. Keep a copy of that in the childs file. I'd also recomend skipping that step in this communication to avoid making this bigger and more dramatic.
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Old 10-17-2011, 01:31 PM
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I guess where I am lost is why do you continue to write to the dad if you don't want him to write to you. CALL HIM
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Old 10-17-2011, 01:32 PM
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I know there were other threads regarding this but at first glance I wonder why everything is getting "legal"?. Do you have other children that do not have this problem in your care? If so, I would tell the father the problem does not originate from your home as an anomaly. Therefor it is his responsibility to seek professional help in dealing with his child's "condition".
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Old 10-17-2011, 02:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherder View Post
Why would you prefer to not have documentation in the form of emails?

EDIT:

I also read your other post.. on your OP Dad gave written permission for you to disclose information to Girlfriend already. It was in a response to another letter you sent previously on this topic. Keep a copy of that in the childs file. I'd also recomend skipping that step in this communication to avoid making this bigger and more dramatic.
I do not whant e-mail communication because I am not recieving the e-mails untill a day after the fact and things have changed by then.

Yes, dad gave permision in an e-mail but I think i need something that he signed because I see the bio-mother every other week and she does not want me talking to the girl friend about her son.
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Old 10-17-2011, 02:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael View Post
I know there were other threads regarding this but at first glance I wonder why everything is getting "legal"?. Do you have other children that do not have this problem in your care? If so, I would tell the father the problem does not originate from your home as an anomaly. Therefor it is his responsibility to seek professional help in dealing with his child's "condition".
This was exactly what I was thinking when I read other threads regarding this too. If others in your care or your own family are not experiencing these symptoms or problems, then it's clearly not coming from your home and must be related to this child's home instead. I would point this out to him and reassure him that you are doing everything on your end to maintain a clean and healthy environment.
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  #7  
Old 10-17-2011, 02:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael View Post
I know there were other threads regarding this but at first glance I wonder why everything is getting "legal"?. Do you have other children that do not have this problem in your care? If so, I would tell the father the problem does not originate from your home as an anomaly. Therefor it is his responsibility to seek professional help in dealing with his child's "condition".
Yep, if his child is the only one with bites, it's not from your house.

You've done more than enough. I think the email is too dramatic, too long.

Just send him a quick note:

Hey, Jim, I just wanted to let you know I checked with the health dept, and on their recomendation, set up some traps for fleas, etc. Turns out, the traps are empty.

I feel bad that Joey is getting bug bites, but apparently, it doesnt come from here. No other children here have had problems, either.

Good luck on this one! :-) Let me know if you figure it out!

***XX
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Old 10-17-2011, 02:20 PM
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Originally Posted by daycare View Post
I guess where I am lost is why do you continue to write to the dad if you don't want him to write to you. CALL HIM
I send a letter home with the girlfriend I do not see Dad. I guess I could add or have girlfriend had me a letter, the e-mails are not effective because by the time i get it things it is a day or two after the fact.
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Old 10-17-2011, 02:26 PM
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This sounds good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
Yep, if his child is the only one with bites, it's not from your house.

You've done more than enough. I think the email is too dramatic, too long.

Just send him a quick note:

Hey, Jim, I just wanted to let you know I checked with the health dept, and on their recomendation, set up some traps for fleas, etc. Turns out, the traps are empty.

I feel bad that Joey is getting bug bites, but apparently, it doesnt come from here. No other children here have had problems, either.

Good luck on this one! :-) Let me know if you figure it out!

***XX
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Old 10-17-2011, 02:35 PM
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I would send the above letter and call.

There's no reason why you should still be in the middle of this. The Childs bug bites have NOTHiNG to do with you or your DC/house.

Remove yourself from this situation.
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  #11  
Old 10-17-2011, 02:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare View Post
I will not be using a blanket on the floor until and unless we have concrete proof that, a blanket on the carpet will help the problem and not hinder it.
This sentense doesn't make to much sense. How would a blanket on the floor hinder the problem with his bug bites. I know that you said that it gets in the way, bunches up, and trips up kids. Be honest with him on why you won't put a blanket down. I don't know if the boy is mobile or not but put him on a recieving blanket. They are little enough for just the child. If he is moble and walk or crawls off---oh well. You put him on.

Just tell him as others stated that that the problem is not at your house.
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Old 10-17-2011, 02:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
Yep, if his child is the only one with bites, it's not from your house.

You've done more than enough. I think the email is too dramatic, too long.

Just send him a quick note:

Hey, Jim, I just wanted to let you know I checked with the health dept, and on their recomendation, set up some traps for fleas, etc. Turns out, the traps are empty.

I feel bad that Joey is getting bug bites, but apparently, it doesnt come from here. No other children here have had problems, either.

Good luck on this one! :-) Let me know if you figure it out!

***XX

Perfect response!!!!
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  #13  
Old 10-17-2011, 03:03 PM
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So as suggested by daycare, I called Dad just know and spoke with him he was surprised that the traps did not catch anything and then quickly said that he was not trying to say that they came from my house. (It sure felt like it to me)
Over all the conversation went well. I was able to suggest that perhaps he (Dad) could suggest that mom ensure that her house does not have flees. As both times was a Monday after a Mom weekend and she has several fur animals.
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Old 10-17-2011, 03:18 PM
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Girl you sound just like me. I try so hard to make everyone happy and I hate Confortation. But as time goes on I realize I just want the fastest solution that will be best for everyone and for me to sleep at night.

Glad you got that dad off your back.
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Old 10-17-2011, 04:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
I guess where I am lost is why do you continue to write to the dad if you don't want him to write to you. CALL HIM
So that she has everything documented... If she calls him, it is "he said, she said". I would document as much as possible if I were in a conflict with a parent.
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Old 10-17-2011, 04:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
Girl you sound just like me. I try so hard to make everyone happy and I hate Confortation. But as time goes on I realize I just want the fastest solution that will be best for everyone and for me to sleep at night.

Glad you got that dad off your back.
Me too.

Made some minnor changes to the letter and I am still going to send it home tommorow girlfriend called she is pickig DCB up today because she got off work early, While on phone with Dad he said that might happen. On a happy note it is nice to see that this child has parents and parental figures in his life that whant to spend time with him.
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Old 10-17-2011, 05:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
I would send the above letter and call.

There's no reason why you should still be in the middle of this. The Childs bug bites have NOTHiNG to do with you or your DC/house.

Remove yourself from this situation.
I am thinking the same thing.
I wouldnt let this continue. My question is whats next?
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  #18  
Old 10-17-2011, 08:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
Yep, if his child is the only one with bites, it's not from your house.

You've done more than enough. I think the email is too dramatic, too long.

Just send him a quick note:

Hey, Jim, I just wanted to let you know I checked with the health dept, and on their recomendation, set up some traps for fleas, etc. Turns out, the traps are empty.

I feel bad that Joey is getting bug bites, but apparently, it doesnt come from here. No other children here have had problems, either.

Good luck on this one! :-) Let me know if you figure it out!

***XX
Completely agree!! Make it light and not "angry" sounding. You only have to deny responsibility, state what you've done to prevent it, and put it back on him. Don't put emotion into it, even if it isn't specifically stated emotion. Your msg comes off a tad angry to me. No offense -- I'm sure you're mad, and I would be too -- but "never let 'em see you sweat"!

EDIT: Just read that you did speak to him. Hope it all works out.
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Old 10-17-2011, 11:02 PM
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As a side note - now that it seems you have everything worked out, I would recommend signing up with a different email provider so that you can get your emails in a timely manner. There is nothing better than having everything in writing when it comes to any sort of conflict in daycare, so getting your email working should be a top priority as that is how most of the world communicates now (rather than actually writing out a letter). Good luck!
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Old 10-18-2011, 07:58 AM
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I would just talk with both parents. If girlfriend is on Dad's pick up list, I would tell the Mom that you have permission to talk with her as she is involved in care. Make sure Dad has given you this permission.

Your festering the flea fire with drama. Keep it simple. They are not from here, I have checked and no one else has them. When he keeps talking about it, don't feel as if you need to respond.

I believe they are coming from the car! Don't be surprised if you suddenly have a flea problem start up. UGH!

Best way to address problems is face to face and simple. Good Luck
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  #21  
Old 10-18-2011, 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Mandy_Jane View Post
As a side note - now that it seems you have everything worked out, I would recommend signing up with a different email provider so that you can get your emails in a timely manner. There is nothing better than having everything in writing when it comes to any sort of conflict in daycare, so getting your email working should be a top priority as that is how most of the world communicates now (rather than actually writing out a letter). Good luck!
I do not think the problem is my e-mail coming in a timely manner it is that dad sends them at 2:00 and then I often do not check e-mail again untill the next day.
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