Daycare.com Forum Daycare Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-20-2016, 03:22 PM
Thriftylady's Avatar
Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,887
Default These Poor Girls

Two of my DCG's are siblings a year and some months apart in age (6 and 7). Mom and dad are divorced, mom has a fiancee, dad has a girlfriend or wife whichever. I have never met dad, just mom. Back at Christmas time, the girls came over and told me that at their dad's at Christmas, dad got mad at them and threw away their gifts, told them he didn't love them anymore and never wanted to see them again. The girls (especially the younger one) were devestated for the time they didn't see dad. A couple of months ago, mom called dad begging him to take the girls because the younger one was having crying bouts at home and school. I of course didn't really agree with her decision considering how he had acted towards them, but not my kids.

Well mom texted me a bit ago, letting me know that dad had been arrested for running a meth lab. Not sure why she texted me, other than to vent and probably being upset the girls had been around it and were supposed to go this weekend. In fact, right now they are singing "we are going to daddies house".

Mom is going to have to deal with this over the weekend and I will probably have some fall out next week, as school finishes Wednesday. I feel so bad for these girls. Mom's fiancee won't ever watch them for some reason, their dad is a piece of work apparently. It feels like all they have is mom and I, and that isn't enough!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-20-2016, 03:37 PM
grandmom's Avatar
grandmom grandmom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 765
Default

Sad
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-20-2016, 04:05 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

Those poor kids! What a horrible father!

Most of my kids only have their mother and me. A couple of my kids have no clue who their father is. The ones that do see their fathers only see them once every few months or so when the father 'feels like' seeing the child. Only two of my kids have parents that are living together! Of those, the father recently moved out for a month or so and recently moved back in.

The children will be confused and devastated for a while, but they will adjust (well, they should adjust). As time goes on, they will get used to not seeing him as much. And, as sad as it is to say, considering his situation and drug habit, it will be, of course, better/healthier for the children not to be involved with him or his lifestyle. I hope the kids weren't in the house while they were cooking meth! I'm glad their house didn't blow up with the kids in there; many meth houses literally explode as if a bomb went off inside the house. As sad as it is, I'm glad the father will be going to jail, not only to get the drug maker/dealer off of the streets, but also to keep the children safe from being around him and his friends that live that lifestyle. It's sad and actually just horrible that the children have to go through this, but if that's the life that their father chooses for himself, it's much better that the children are no where near him.

It's terribly upsetting that those children will miss out on having the experience of a loving, involved, father and won't be able to have a steady, healthy relationship with him. I will never understand parents who don't do their best to be proper parents for their children.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-21-2016, 09:32 AM
EntropyControlSpecialist's Avatar
EntropyControlSpecialist EntropyControlSpecialist is offline
Embracing the chaos.
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: A toasty environment!
Posts: 7,430
Default

That's incredibly sad. I'll be praying for those children.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-21-2016, 04:40 PM
Silly Songs's Avatar
Silly Songs Silly Songs is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 705
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
Those poor kids! What a horrible father!

Most of my kids only have their mother and me. A couple of my kids have no clue who their father is. The ones that do see their fathers only see them once every few months or so when the father 'feels like' seeing the child. Only two of my kids have parents that are living together! Of those, the father recently moved out for a month or so and recently moved back in.

The children will be confused and devastated for a while, but they will adjust (well, they should adjust). As time goes on, they will get used to not seeing him as much. And, as sad as it is to say, considering his situation and drug habit, it will be, of course, better/healthier for the children not to be involved with him or his lifestyle. I hope the kids weren't in the house while they were cooking meth! I'm glad their house didn't blow up with the kids in there; many meth houses literally explode as if a bomb went off inside the house. As sad as it is, I'm glad the father will be going to jail, not only to get the drug maker/dealer off of the streets, but also to keep the children safe from being around him and his friends that live that lifestyle. It's sad and actually just horrible that the children have to go through this, but if that's the life that their father chooses for himself, it's much better that the children are no where near him.

It's terribly upsetting that those children will miss out on having the experience of a loving, involved, father and won't be able to have a steady, healthy relationship with him. I will never understand parents who don't do their best to be proper parents for their children.
Exactly why/ how are these woman getting pregnant with these men who don't want children in their lives ? I guess some people look at it differently, but so many without a dad is so devastating. Woman need to make better choices when meeting guys and having relations. Where is the education for that ?
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-21-2016, 06:46 PM
Thriftylady's Avatar
Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,887
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silly Songs View Post
Exactly why/ how are these woman getting pregnant with these men who don't want children in their lives ? I guess some people look at it differently, but so many without a dad is so devastating. Woman need to make better choices when meeting guys and having relations. Where is the education for that ?
Well I know she was married to him. Got a divorce after he got abusive. That is about all I know as she hasn't shared much more than that.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-21-2016, 06:57 PM
Annalee's Avatar
Annalee Annalee is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,758
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silly Songs View Post
Exactly why/ how are these woman getting pregnant with these men who don't want children in their lives ? I guess some people look at it differently, but so many without a dad is so devastating. Woman need to make better choices when meeting guys and having relations. Where is the education for that ?
I have a cousin who had a child every time she and her ex got back together.....I fault her for that....she could have solved that issue....she now has four children and is doing her best to raise them alone! Her ex was found on the street dead this past year due to a drug overdose....she had been divorced from him for several years. There are other acquaintances I see who have so many children and are raising them alone.....contraceptives are free.....use them....parents should not bring these children into the world to deal with their bad choices.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-21-2016, 10:58 PM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 8,970
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annalee View Post
I have a cousin who had a child every time she and her ex got back together.....I fault her for that....she could have solved that issue....she now has four children and is doing her best to raise them alone! Her ex was found on the street dead this past year due to a drug overdose....she had been divorced from him for several years. There are other acquaintances I see who have so many children and are raising them alone.....contraceptives are free.....use them....parents should not bring these children into the world to deal with their bad choices.
It is really hard to get abortions in the USA from what I have been reading so that might factor into this. We always blame the women but the man is just as responsible.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-22-2016, 07:20 AM
Annalee's Avatar
Annalee Annalee is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,758
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
It is really hard to get abortions in the USA from what I have been reading so that might factor into this. We always blame the women but the man is just as responsible.
I am not talking about abortion, I am talking about using contraceptives which are free at the health dept.....
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-22-2016, 08:44 PM
Mom2Two's Avatar
Mom2Two Mom2Two is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 1,851
Default

I would say that if dad didn't want to spend time with his kids, mom should just go with that. And I wouldn't ever leave kids with a fiance who wasn't interested in them. It's so sad that their dad doesn't care about his kids, but he's a slave to drugs and that's all there is to him right now. I guess if you like the kids and are that calm, stable presence then you are a blessing to them.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 05-23-2016, 06:00 AM
Thriftylady's Avatar
Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,887
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Two View Post
I would say that if dad didn't want to spend time with his kids, mom should just go with that. And I wouldn't ever leave kids with a fiance who wasn't interested in them. It's so sad that their dad doesn't care about his kids, but he's a slave to drugs and that's all there is to him right now. I guess if you like the kids and are that calm, stable presence then you are a blessing to them.
I guess I would just have a fiancee that wasn't interested in my kids. I don't understand that part of this equation.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-23-2016, 03:10 PM
Mom2Two's Avatar
Mom2Two Mom2Two is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 1,851
Default

It's dad's fiance, right, not moms? It seems like there's a lot of abuse towards kids by a parents' new significant other.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 05-23-2016, 03:43 PM
Hunni Bee's Avatar
Hunni Bee Hunni Bee is offline
False Sense Of Authority
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Over the Rainbow...
Posts: 2,320
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Two View Post
It's dad's fiance, right, not moms? It seems like there's a lot of abuse towards kids by a parents' new significant other.
In an earlier post it said that the mom's fiance never wanted to watch the girls. It mentioned that dad had a wife or girlfriend but it didn't say anything about it.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 05-23-2016, 03:49 PM
Thriftylady's Avatar
Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,887
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee View Post
In an earlier post it said that the mom's fiance never wanted to watch the girls. It mentioned that dad had a wife or girlfriend but it didn't say anything about it.
Yeah, mom's fiancee doesn't seem to want anything to do with the girls. I am not sure why. All I can say is that I personally wouldn't want anything to do with a man that didn't love and adore my children.

Dad's girlfriend was arrested for manufacturing of meth, dad was arrested I guess for impeding the investigation. But they were both living in the same house so.....
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 05-23-2016, 07:00 PM
sahm1225's Avatar
sahm1225 sahm1225 is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Midwest - where winter never ends!
Posts: 2,022
Default

We're the girls okay when they realized daddy wasn't picking them up? Those poor girls
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 05-23-2016, 07:06 PM
Thriftylady's Avatar
Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,887
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sahm1225 View Post
We're the girls okay when they realized daddy wasn't picking them up? Those poor girls
The girls haven't said anything to me yet. So I haven't opened that can of worms. I do know he has been in jail in the recent past, because the girls told me that at one time. So it won't be new news to them. But they do love him, he is their father after all. I am sure I will be dealing with it, but I am not going to be the one to bring it up. If anything, I will try to keep their minds on other things.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 05-25-2016, 08:45 AM
sleepinghart's Avatar
sleepinghart sleepinghart is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 343
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silly Songs View Post
Exactly why/ how are these woman getting pregnant with these men who don't want children in their lives ? I guess some people look at it differently, but so many without a dad is so devastating. Woman need to make better choices when meeting guys and having relations. Where is the education for that ?
~I agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annalee View Post
I am not talking about abortion, I am talking about using contraceptives which are free at the health dept.....
~I so agree.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
divorced parents, sad situation, siblings

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:09 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming