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Old 01-26-2017, 12:21 PM
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jfoglia jfoglia is offline
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Default Sibling Trouble

So I had a 5 year old boy start at my daycare 4 months ago and he catches the prek bus at my house to attend school in the afternoons. Was a good kid, was socializing well, following my rules, etc...his younger brother, age 3 started attending about a month ago when I had a spot available. Since then it's been really difficult! When big brother goes to school things are fine. The 3 year old is a sweetheart, has fun, listens, etc.... But when they are together it's awful! Constant disruptions, bad words, jumping on furniture, you name it! They are perfect when separate but almost unmanageable when together. They struggle at home with this behavior as well. They also interact with the others much less when together. They refuse to be separated and throw fits if I try. Mom and dad are great. Working with me, follow thru on threats, etc...any one else has experience with this? It's really interfering with the dynamics of my group. Thanks for any help!
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Old 01-26-2017, 01:06 PM
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knoxmomof2 knoxmomof2 is offline
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Ugh! I've had a short brush with this (thankfully big brother moved on to Preschool full time).

To clarify, they are together in the AM... Does the bigger one come back for any period after preschool?
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Old 01-26-2017, 01:24 PM
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Yes, together from 730-1130 and then from 330-5. Once next fall comes big brother will be FT in school so this should get better. I just don't know if I can do 7 more months of this! Especially with the summer! Being outside more will help. We've been stuck inside with all the snow and ice. Nice family tho so I hate to give up on them.
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Old 01-27-2017, 03:07 AM
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No doubt about it, siblings are tough! Only suggestion I have is separate them, any way you can. Find a way and it'll help save your sanity.
I have 2 SA girls, ages 7 1/2 and 9. Most of the time I wish I could 'send them to their rooms' like parents do. They will come to blows if I let them try to figure things out themselves. All I can do is intervene and separate before that point comes. I offer them all kinds of age appropriate choices but there is always 1 of them that complains it's boring, etc. They'd be fine if allowed their iphones all day.
I know for these 2 dcgs(and other SAs who complain of boredom, I have made a jar of sticks, with numbers on them. If they're fighting or complaining, they pick a stick and have to do the activity that I've written on a corresponding sheet of paper, they're not allowed to protest, OR they can try to get along or find something to do on their own.
Maybe something similar?
For awhile I set up blanketed areas with different activities, if dcks were being difficult. I would say 'ok. you go here, and you go there, etc., till the timer dings' then we all go onto the next blanket of activities. It usually helped us get through a difficult hour or so.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:46 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jfoglia View Post
So I had a 5 year old boy start at my daycare 4 months ago and he catches the prek bus at my house to attend school in the afternoons. Was a good kid, was socializing well, following my rules, etc...his younger brother, age 3 started attending about a month ago when I had a spot available. Since then it's been really difficult! When big brother goes to school things are fine. The 3 year old is a sweetheart, has fun, listens, etc.... But when they are together it's awful! Constant disruptions, bad words, jumping on furniture, you name it! They are perfect when separate but almost unmanageable when together. They struggle at home with this behavior as well. They also interact with the others much less when together. They refuse to be separated and throw fits if I try. Mom and dad are great. Working with me, follow thru on threats, etc...any one else has experience with this? It's really interfering with the dynamics of my group. Thanks for any help!
Stop letting them dictate whether they get to play together or not. If they can't play nice then they get separated.

Having a fit due to being separated seems the lesser of two evils since playing together is rough and rowdy.

I'd start implementing some consequences for rough play and sticking to them. If they play rough in the morning then no playing together in the afternoon etc...

Start encouraging relationships and "friendships" with other kids in your care so these siblings aren't automatically drawn to each other. Also start planning activities that are age appropriate so the younger one is engaged in developmentally appropriate for him and the same for the older sibling.

I understand not wanting to lose the income but it sounds to me like you are risking your sanity (and possibly your livelihood) instead.
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Old 01-27-2017, 10:32 AM
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Thank you for the tips! I like the sticks in a jar.... Will try that one for sure. I'm not worried in the least about the income...I have 8 people waiting to come here so it would be easy to replace them. I just want to give this more time and try a few new strategies before it comes to that.
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Old 01-31-2017, 05:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Stop letting them dictate whether they get to play together or not. If they can't play nice then they get separated.

Having a fit due to being separated seems the lesser of two evils since playing together is rough and rowdy.

I'd start implementing some consequences for rough play and sticking to them. If they play rough in the morning then no playing together in the afternoon etc...

Start encouraging relationships and "friendships" with other kids in your care so these siblings aren't automatically drawn to each other. Also start planning activities that are age appropriate so the younger one is engaged in developmentally appropriate for him and the same for the older sibling.

I understand not wanting to lose the income but it sounds to me like you are risking your sanity (and possibly your livelihood) instead.

I buddy my kids up for centers in the morning. I would tell both brothers who they were buddied with and they play with THAT child- NOT brother. It works well.

Siblings! I have a sa dck I adore. Younger sibling started and is having a really tough transition.

Older dcg I had was ridiculous, younger brother was an absolute doll, etc.

Twins- polar opposites, wish I could keep one forever- the other one....
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