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  #1  
Old 03-27-2018, 11:52 AM
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Muffin Muffin is offline
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Unhappy A manipulative child!

Hello everyone, I am new to this forum but a seasoned childcare provider. I love children and for the most part I am a very gentle and patient soul. However, for the first time in my career, I find myself discouraged. What do you do when one sibling is a joy and the other is a nightmare?

I have taken on a new child (age 6) for the Easter break and she will also come to me all Summer. Actually she is the older sibling of a very sweet 2 year old boy I watch full time. The girl is very bossy and does not listen. She unbuckles herself and other children in the van. She wakes the sleeping babies. She goes through my things without permission. She lies about the other children to get them in trouble. She's also incredibly manipulative and threatens to get me fired. She claims she has gotten other "sitters" fired before when they made her mad/not done what she wants. She demands constant attention and hollers over everyone to make herself heard. The other children do not like to play with her.

As of now I am dreading the Summer because of this situation. If I tell the parents the girl is not a good fit, I will likely lose her brother as well and i do not want that to happen. Thanks for reading. Any advice would be warmly welcomed.
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Old 03-27-2018, 12:02 PM
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Josiegirl Josiegirl is offline
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Oh my, I had an extremely challenging 6 yo and she wasn't even this bad. Can you find another dck to replace the 2 yo in case you were to lose him too? Have you had this 6 yo before? She's worse than a manipulator, she's one who could get you into some serious trouble with lies and stories. I wouldn't even question telling the parents she is not a good fit and let the chips fall.

Oh and welcome to the forum!!
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Old 03-27-2018, 12:20 PM
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Thinking today should be her last day. Huge liability. Be awesome if you could record her outbursts and saying she gets sitters fired.
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Old 03-27-2018, 12:22 PM
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I wouldn’t even care about losing the brother at this point. A 6 year old that flat out says they have gotten other sitters “fired” before is not something I would be entertaining for any amount of time. No telling what a child like this could make up and you could be facing not just losing the brother but potentially other children/your career based on the severity on what the child lies about. Nope that kid would be gone today.
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Old 03-27-2018, 12:26 PM
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Holy cow! I am blown away. This child has some deep issues. You know, I am all for not wanting to lose another child, but you can't let this go. This could cause you litigation if she is a self-admitted liar. I honestly think that when mom or dad pick up and the 6 yr old is there, I would bring it to their attention with her standing right there. Tell them, quite frankly, that concerns you alot, so you wanted to bring it right out in the open. Call little Susie's bluff and watch her fall on her face. She needs to be put in check.
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Old 03-27-2018, 01:16 PM
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I agree with other posters, I would be done with this kid, even if it means losing her sibling. Sounds like a huge liability to you and a danger to the other children (unbuckling them?!?! What the what?!?!?!)

The only diplomatic approach I can think of is to say your program is not best suited for a school age child for the summer. Let the parents know this Easter week was a good trial run, but the age group is not one you can work with.

Maybe that way they won't pull the younger sibling. But honestly, I would just look to replace him as well, this family sounds like a mess!!
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Old 03-27-2018, 01:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Muffin View Post
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum but a seasoned childcare provider. I love children and for the most part I am a very gentle and patient soul. However, for the first time in my career, I find myself discouraged. What do you do when one sibling is a joy and the other is a nightmare?

I have taken on a new child (age 6) for the Easter break and she will also come to me all Summer. Actually she is the older sibling of a very sweet 2 year old boy I watch full time. The girl is very bossy and does not listen. She unbuckles herself and other children in the van. She wakes the sleeping babies. She goes through my things without permission. She lies about the other children to get them in trouble. She's also incredibly manipulative and threatens to get me fired.She claims she has gotten other "sitters" fired before when they made her mad/not done what she wants. She demands constant attention and hollers over everyone to make herself heard. The other children do not like to play with her.

As of now I am dreading the Summer because of this situation. If I tell the parents the girl is not a good fit, I will likely lose her brother as well and i do not want that to happen. Thanks for reading. Any advice would be warmly welcomed.

Anyone one of those sentences would be her last day with me. My advise it she needs to be gone now. If it costs you the brother oh well. It's not worth the headache or the risk.
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Old 03-27-2018, 02:24 PM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Muffin View Post
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum but a seasoned childcare provider. I love children and for the most part I am a very gentle and patient soul. However, for the first time in my career, I find myself discouraged. What do you do when one sibling is a joy and the other is a nightmare?

I have taken on a new child (age 6) for the Easter break and she will also come to me all Summer. Actually she is the older sibling of a very sweet 2 year old boy I watch full time. The girl is very bossy and does not listen. She unbuckles herself and other children in the van. She wakes the sleeping babies. She goes through my things without permission. She lies about the other children to get them in trouble. She's also incredibly manipulative and threatens to get me fired. She claims she has gotten other "sitters" fired before when they made her mad/not done what she wants. She demands constant attention and hollers over everyone to make herself heard. The other children do not like to play with her.

As of now I am dreading the Summer because of this situation. If I tell the parents the girl is not a good fit, I will likely lose her brother as well and i do not want that to happen. Thanks for reading. Any advice would be warmly welcomed.
The answer is super simple.

Which is more valuable to you?

Your sanity or the income from this child/family?
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Old 03-27-2018, 03:15 PM
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That is not behavior I would tolerate for another minute. On top of the blatant disrespect, she is putting other people’s children in danger!

I had a very overbearing pre-k girl years ago. She was determined to carry the toddlers around. No matter how firm I was, and no matter what the consequences were, she just would NOT stop picking them up. I ended up terming her over it. It wasn’t worth the risk of her falling with one, or onto one. Her mom was very understanding....I felt bad for her. She cried when I told her, but I had to do it.
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Old 03-28-2018, 10:58 AM
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Lots of things at stake here if you keep this child:
1) liability of an unbuckled child in a moving vehicle
2) possible accusations against you that could ruin your career and reputation forever.
3) your sanity and a nice environment for the other kids in hour care.

At the very minimum I would be calling a meeting with the parents and discuss this issue. Then I would be marking my calendar for their end date if things did not improve. Otherwise I would terminate immediately. In my opinion I would never tolerate a child threatening me.
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