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  #1  
Old 05-02-2012, 06:56 AM
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Default Parents Giving Me A Hard Time About 5yr Old Napping

What do you tell parents that don't want their 5 year old napping?

I have 4 5 year olds (2 are my own) and they all still nap.

The other parents of the 5 year olds are starting to give me a hard time about having their kids nap. They think I should stop napping them so they can be ready for kinder.

On the weekends they don't nap.

I think if they are still falling asleep that their bodies still need the rest. I have always had nappers so don't know what to tell the other parents.

The other parents are friends of mine so it's hard to address this but they keep pressuring me to drop the naps (in a joking way) and I just want to put my foot down but what do I tell them?
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Old 05-02-2012, 07:09 AM
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Put your foot down. I tell parents at sign up that when they feel their child has outgrown naps...they can give me two weeks notice. Every child naps. I have school age siblings that I have had since they were toddlers (ages 7, 9, 11 and 13) who have early out day on Friday's. They get here at 1:30 PM. They grab a blanket and they happily nap until 3PM. I don't require them to nap in the summer ...UNLESS they are noisy.

If the child falls asleep easily, then he/she still needs a nap. And YOU need a break!

I am quite sure they don't want to work up to 12 hours straight without a break.
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Old 05-02-2012, 07:18 AM
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I have a rest time. EVERYONE is required to rest. They don't have to sleep but they do have to rest. It won't kill or harm any child to lay down and rest. If they are still awake after a bit, I will let them get up and do something quiet but so far, no one is still awake.

I am like Meeko and make it VERY clear to my parents that I require everyone to rest. If they are against their child resting, then I am not the program or place for them. If I had SA kids who were awake and didn't rest I may feel differently but I don't.

I think our Kindy kids still rest in school too so that wouldn't be a valid argument here.

Either way, I think that you should continue doing what you do and if the parents feel that strongly about it, then they can find alternate care arrangements that better meets their needs. Nothing wrong with that.
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Old 05-02-2012, 07:34 AM
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I would start calling it "quiet time"

The kids don't have to nap anymore (but if they fall asleep, dont wake them).

I don't purposefully keep kids up, everyone has "quiet" time of some sort. That part is not negotiable.
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Old 05-02-2012, 07:55 AM
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I have a rest time. EVERYONE is required to rest. They don't have to sleep but they do have to rest. It won't kill or harm any child to lay down and rest. If they are still awake after a bit, I will let them get up and do something quiet but so far, no one is still awake.

I am like Meeko and make it VERY clear to my parents that I require everyone to rest. If they are against their child resting, then I am not the program or place for them. If I had SA kids who were awake and didn't rest I may feel differently but I don't.

I think our Kindy kids still rest in school too so that wouldn't be a valid argument here.

Either way, I think that you should continue doing what you do and if the parents feel that strongly about it, then they can find alternate care arrangements that better meets their needs. Nothing wrong with that.

Our schedule at the door/sign on the outside states that 1:00-3:00 PM is 'rest time'. I don't call it nap time because there are those parents out there that don't want their kids 'napping'. Seems silly to me, my oldest gets home from school on Friday early and takes a nap every week, so I know most kids are tired halfway through their days. But whatever floats those parent's little boats I suppose, if they don't like rest time, they can find a program that doesn't do it. Which btw-in Utah they wont. We are required the 2 hours of rest time here, most parents just aren't aware of that.
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Old 05-02-2012, 08:17 AM
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I agree with what others have said HOWEVER,

I would find out about your kinder program. Find out if the kids will be taking naps once they start going. If they do, then your cool.

if they don't,

I would start breaking them of naps about 1 month before they are to start school.

My school district does not nap the kinders. I went down and talked to a kinder teacher and asked her what I could do to prepare them for kinder that was not about academics and she said:

self help skills, teach them to wait and take turns and ween them of naps.

I also do not offer services for children who do not nap, however, for this one month out of the year, I will have the soon to be grads of my class stay awake.
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Old 05-02-2012, 08:24 AM
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My handbook states all children need to nap until kinder. I don't take kinders or schoolage so that means everyone in my care naps. If they've outgrown nap, they've outgrown me and must give their one month notice...

Of course, suddenly it's ok if their child naps.
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Old 05-02-2012, 08:54 AM
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I would just explain its only helping not hurting and i get absolutely no break all day long and my "break" is spent doing stuff anyway.
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:18 AM
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I just added to my handbook about kindergarteners....I will discontinue their nap 2 weeks before school starts. Until then, nighty nite.
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:22 AM
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I may not be in the majority here, but I think it is worth finding a compromise of sorts. Its good to keep a quiet time, but I am a provider and a mom who happens to have 2 out of 3 of my kids sleep HORRIBLE at night if they got a nap past 2 1/2. I can't get them to sleep til at least ten because a nap energizes them so much. Yet with out a nap, they fall asleep beautifully by 8. And I NEED my evening time alone with my husband to recharge my batteries. So my kids, and a few of my older dck who's parents experience the same frustration of their kids not sleeping at night, get a rest time, a quiet time with a movie or books. Selfishly I would love to have everyone sleep, but I know I will pay for it later in the evening if they do. And so will my dcp which makes them grumpy too. So if your dcp are experiencing the same, I feel for them. Maybe they are falling asleep because they go to bed so late because they are taking naps during the day, YKWIM?
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:28 AM
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I would compromise. My kids all watch a movie or a few tv shows at nap time. About half fall asleep. The other half rests quietly.

Anyone who doesn't rest quietly, is sent to lay in the next room alone, where there's nothing else to do except nap.
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:36 AM
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OK, today is the first day I have had a parent ask me not to have their child sleep very long at naptime. I guess child didn't sleep till 10:00 last night and back up at 6:00. Child is quite a handful but today I've put them back to bed and its not first thing in the morning. Behavior is out of control.

The think is though this child is a BEAR if they don't take a nap or get their full nap out either. So either way this childs sleep will be really messed up. This child 95% of the time does fall asleep when they lay down and on an average will sleep 2+ hours each time.

I really don't want to fight this child every morning because they aren't sleeping at night but I don't want to fight them every afternoon because they are tired from not sleeping at naptime either!

Not trying to highjack but since this post was up and it came up from me wanted to see about some feed back also!
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:45 AM
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Children at five are in need of 10-12 hours per day so if the parent is putting them down at 7 or 8 and they sleep till 7 or 8 in the morning all is good.
Here is just one link that gives this information:
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children

Our state sent out a chart similar to this that I copied and gave to parents. It always seems to quiet the crowd.

It states in our regulations that a rest time is required until a child is in school full time. Sometimes if the child is not in full day kinder this continues until first grade. Even in public schools the children have to take a blanket and mat to kinder for their rest time. Check with your district and see if kinders take one.

Or like some providers have said. "If they are too old for nap they are too old for my daycare."
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:50 AM
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I think as providers we have to realize that all kids are different. Some need less sleep, some need more. I think it's wrong to suggest that parents are bad parents if they don't want their kids to take a nap during the day. It's our job (in my opinion) to work with the parents, to find out how the child is doing at home and try to make it a win win situation for everyone. I don't make major compromises, but on nap issues, maybe because I have btdt with my own kids, I do listen to the parents and find out what will work for us both. Have any of you experienced that with your own children? Them not going to bed because of taking a nap? Or am I the only one??
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Old 05-02-2012, 10:00 AM
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I don't think 4 and 5 year olds should be forced to nap. To make them lay on their cot for 2 hours is just miserable. We have our older children (4's & 5's) lay on their cots for 20 minutes. If they don't fall asleep, we give them books. When they are tired of books, they can get up and play quietly.
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Old 05-02-2012, 11:42 AM
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We have rest time from 12:00-2:00 every single day. Even the 5-year-old.
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Old 05-02-2012, 12:36 PM
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The thing is they all fall asleep within 15 minutes of getting on their cot.

I don't ever make anyone lay on their cot awake...they just all sleep.

My twins are 5 and still nap every day for 1.5hrs and are asleep by 8:30p every night.

I'm actually a little scared about kinder because mine are such good nappers and kindergarten doesn't have a naptime. I think they'll adjust fine though.

I know some of my dcps have night time problems as far as getting their kids down and I think that's part of their concern...that they nap so well here.

I'm going to just tell the parents that if they aren't falling asleep within 20 minutes that I will let them get up and do a quiet activity. But as of now they are some of the first asleep and I don't want to force them to stay awake if their body is still needing that rest.
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Old 05-02-2012, 12:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Jenniferdawn View Post
I think as providers we have to realize that all kids are different. Some need less sleep, some need more. I think it's wrong to suggest that parents are bad parents if they don't want their kids to take a nap during the day. It's our job (in my opinion) to work with the parents, to find out how the child is doing at home and try to make it a win win situation for everyone. I don't make major compromises, but on nap issues, maybe because I have btdt with my own kids, I do listen to the parents and find out what will work for us both. Have any of you experienced that with your own children? Them not going to bed because of taking a nap? Or am I the only one??
I've let kindies stay up before. I have a small house, so whatever they do has to be quiet, but I've let them get out the Barbies or other big kid toys that they can't play with when the littles are awake. I've also let them play in the backyard (with parents' permission). However, when one dcp asked me to keep her 4yo up in the months before she started kindergarten, and she started falling asleep in the middle of her toys on the COLD tile floor -- I started putting her on a cot again .

If the child can stay awake without melting down at any point during the rest of the day, AND if they can stay quiet during our 2 hr. quiet time -- they earn the privilege of not having to lay down on their cot. Otherwise, it's nap time!
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Old 05-02-2012, 12:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferdawn View Post
I may not be in the majority here, but I think it is worth finding a compromise of sorts. Its good to keep a quiet time, but I am a provider and a mom who happens to have 2 out of 3 of my kids sleep HORRIBLE at night if they got a nap past 2 1/2. I can't get them to sleep til at least ten because a nap energizes them so much. Yet with out a nap, they fall asleep beautifully by 8. And I NEED my evening time alone with my husband to recharge my batteries. So my kids, and a few of my older dck who's parents experience the same frustration of their kids not sleeping at night, get a rest time, a quiet time with a movie or books. Selfishly I would love to have everyone sleep, but I know I will pay for it later in the evening if they do. And so will my dcp which makes them grumpy too. So if your dcp are experiencing the same, I feel for them. Maybe they are falling asleep because they go to bed so late because they are taking naps during the day, YKWIM?
I completely disagree with this this line of thinking. This is a VERY common misconception. Napping during the day does NOT cause the child to not want to go to bed at night.

If a child falls asleep within 30 minutes of "resting" then their body needs sleep. If they lie awake for more than 30-60 minutes then they probably arent tired.

If you get an opportunity, please read this book "Sleepless in America" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka http://parentchildhelp.com/books.cfm?MID=126

It explains ALOT about common sleep issues and misconceptions about night time behaviors.

When kids are wound up tight and running around like a crazed lunatic at bedtime, it isn't because they napped at daycare and/or arent tired...it is because they ARE tired.

9 out of 10 times children are NOT getting enough sleep at night and parents and providers fail to see the signs. Good sound sleep (in the right amounts) is the foundation to EVERYTHING else. NannyDe is a good resource for sleep and the benefits of it as well as the affects of the lack of sleep.
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Old 05-02-2012, 01:40 PM
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Tell them they you do not MAKE anyone nap, but everyone is required to have a quiet rest period during the day. If they fall asleep during that rest period, it would be cruel to wake them up just because the parents dont want them sleeping. Give the kids a book to read while they lay down for their rest period. If they fall asleep- they obviously needed the sleep, if they don't sleep, then they still got their mandated rest period.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunflowerMama View Post
What do you tell parents that don't want their 5 year old napping?

I have 4 5 year olds (2 are my own) and they all still nap.

The other parents of the 5 year olds are starting to give me a hard time about having their kids nap. They think I should stop napping them so they can be ready for kinder.

On the weekends they don't nap.

I think if they are still falling asleep that their bodies still need the rest. I have always had nappers so don't know what to tell the other parents.

The other parents are friends of mine so it's hard to address this but they keep pressuring me to drop the naps (in a joking way) and I just want to put my foot down but what do I tell them?
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Old 05-02-2012, 02:08 PM
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This is the ongoing debate between parents and dc providers, isn't it? JMHO, but I don't think a 5 year old needs to sleep if s/he has a regular, early bedtime routine.

I have always had "Quiet Time" for the 2-5 year olds. The littles have "Nap Time" in another room Quiet Time is the only 1.5 hours long and the only time during the day that the tv is on. A 90 minute movie, volume very low so they have to be quiet to hear the dialog. The kids know that "Quiet Time" is over when the movie is over. Books and stuffies are allowed, sleeping is encouraged but not required. Quiet is.

I have four 5 year olds, all going to school in the fall and three have been here since they were infants or toddlers. All are April BD's and none of them have napped since they were around 4. The 3/4's are hit and miss, maybe two or three short naps a week; the 2's sleep hard everyday. I have 10 kids here now ~ 6 are sound asleep and 4 are watching the movie. Guess which 4? And we were at the park all morning.

I think every kid is different; some require more sleep than others. All you can do is require the time period, but you can force what the the child does during that time. If they need sleep, they will sleep. I do think as providers we need to take the parents wishes into consideration.
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Old 05-02-2012, 06:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I completely disagree with this this line of thinking. This is a VERY common misconception. Napping during the day does NOT cause the child to not want to go to bed at night.

If a child falls asleep within 30 minutes of "resting" then their body needs sleep. If they lie awake for more than 30-60 minutes then they probably arent tired.

If you get an opportunity, please read this book "Sleepless in America" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka http://parentchildhelp.com/books.cfm?MID=126

It explains ALOT about common sleep issues and misconceptions about night time behaviors.

When kids are wound up tight and running around like a crazed lunatic at bedtime, it isn't because they napped at daycare and/or arent tired...it is because they ARE tired.

9 out of 10 times children are NOT getting enough sleep at night and parents and providers fail to see the signs. Good sound sleep (in the right amounts) is the foundation to EVERYTHING else. NannyDe is a good resource for sleep and the benefits of it as well as the affects of the lack of sleep.
Blackcat, I know everything you are saying. I've read the reports. I've raised three children and have been in childcare for 14 years. I understand the whole issue of kids needing more sleep etc. All I can go on is my own experience with my kiddos. My 4 year old wakes at 7am and is in bed by 7:30pm. If she takes a nap in the afternoon, it does not make her more ready for bed in the evening. After a nap, I have tried putting her to bed at her usual 7:30pm bed time and she will lay there for 2 hours, not being able to sleep. I do NOTHING different in her routine except adding the nap. She has been that way for the last year. Just how her body works. My son wasn't this way, but she is. So I still believe, all kids are different. And we need to take that into consideration. If my daughter is getting 12 hours of sleep when she sleeps 7:30pm to 7:30am, or twelve hours when she sleeps 9 to 7 with a two hour nap, you bet I prefer for her to skip the nap and just have a rest time. All parents need some time in the evening to unwind with out their kids.

Believe me, I have had many parents who let their kids stay up late and they absolutely need a nap. I have a 5 year dcb like this. But I don't think it's right to make a blanket statement that we expect to apply to everyone. Rest times should definitely be for everyone. Naps I think we just need to be flexible one. JMHO.
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Old 05-02-2012, 08:52 PM
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I have it worded in my contract that all children are required to take a full afternoon nap/rest time. Any child that doesn't nap has outgrown my program.

I had 2 families tell me their 3 year old didn't nap.

Family 1 was told the child still needed to lay down for an hour and no, I wasn't going to give him books, toys, leave a light on, etc. I told them that the rate would go up if the child needed 1 on 1 care throughout naptime and I would give them 1 month to find a new daycare.

Family 2 asked if their 3 year old dcg had to nap. YEP! She sure does. DCM again suggested books, toys, even movies or tv!!! NOPE! Not here. I simply told her I didn't have the room to accommodate her requests and that keeping her up during nap would be an additional fee. DCM got her schedule worked out that DCG didn't nap here anymore.
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Old 05-03-2012, 07:57 AM
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every child is different, now I would tell the parents that you have rest time. If the child falls asleep well, then the child needs it. If they don't, well they need the rest. some of my kids lay down and watch tv, but thats when I have rest time too and get things done.

now, what I'm finding is that parents are forcing their kids to go to sleep anywhere between 7 and 730pm, when clearly the children are not ready. I don't understand this concept, parents spending 2 hours with them and then shoving them to bed.

yesterday, dcm complained that dcg hasn't napped for 2 weeks (she turned 3 in feb) but is becoming a bear, and having such bad meltdowns around 5pm that they don't know what to do. But they are shoving her to bed at 7 or 730pm. Well yesterday she fell asleep for an 1 hour nap and didn't go to sleep till 830pm and mom was mad because "they didn't have adult quiet time" well.

like my back up provider says, parents make liers out of us.
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Old 05-03-2012, 08:31 AM
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Blackcat, I know everything you are saying. I've read the reports. I've raised three children and have been in childcare for 14 years. I understand the whole issue of kids needing more sleep etc. All I can go on is my own experience with my kiddos. My 4 year old wakes at 7am and is in bed by 7:30pm. If she takes a nap in the afternoon, it does not make her more ready for bed in the evening. After a nap, I have tried putting her to bed at her usual 7:30pm bed time and she will lay there for 2 hours, not being able to sleep. I do NOTHING different in her routine except adding the nap. She has been that way for the last year. Just how her body works. My son wasn't this way, but she is. So I still believe, all kids are different. And we need to take that into consideration. If my daughter is getting 12 hours of sleep when she sleeps 7:30pm to 7:30am, or twelve hours when she sleeps 9 to 7 with a two hour nap, you bet I prefer for her to skip the nap and just have a rest time. All parents need some time in the evening to unwind with out their kids.

Believe me, I have had many parents who let their kids stay up late and they absolutely need a nap. I have a 5 year dcb like this. But I don't think it's right to make a blanket statement that we expect to apply to everyone. Rest times should definitely be for everyone. Naps I think we just need to be flexible one. JMHO.
Well said. And you are right, I shouldn't make blanket statements about every child needing to nap. I also agree that every child is different as I was like you and had two VERY different children of my own as far as sleep needs and issues.

I guess I was more or less commenting in the whole concept from parents of not needing to nap any more simply because their child won't go to bed at night or are crazy active in the evenings.

Also the OP in this situation said the child DID fall asleep within a few minutes of laying down and whether or not that is because she is tired and needs a nap or is tired because she went to bed late due to the nap is something worth looking into for sure but will require honesty from the parent or the cycle will neve be broken.

I guess that is why I call it "rest" time or "quiet" time. That way the negative attachments that come along with "nap time" dont happen here. It is definitely a never-ending debate/issue that goes on between parent and provider and realizing that every child IS different and has different needs is absolutely beneficial to everyone involved.
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Old 05-03-2012, 08:36 AM
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It's amazing what changing the wording does. Since I've been calling it rest time I no longer have "nap" issues with my older kids.
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Old 05-03-2012, 09:28 AM
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My son around age 4, started laying in bed kicking the wall at night for 2 hours before he would fall asleep, so I took away his nap, and for the first few days that was very hard, because he was cranky! come about 4pm, but by 8pm, he was asleep, and he now does great during the day, and falls asleep very quickly at night. I do not make kids nap past 4 yrs old, once they are 4 they can lay downstairs and watch a movie or cartoons, they must lie down for the first 30min, then they can color, do puzzles or play with books. When parents of around a 4 yr old tell me their child is taking forever to fall asleep at night, I completely agree with them that its time for their child to start skipping naps, and yes the first couple days can be hard, but then their bodies adjust, I think its more important for them to get good sleep at night at home, than it is for them to sleep here, my older ones are very good about staying quiet, and after the "school agers" that are not in school yet watch TV for an hour, I then send them outside to play for the rest of quiet time, which is allowed in my state.
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Old 12-22-2012, 10:44 AM
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Default ughhh ...me too.

I get the same thing here, but our full day Kindergarteners do have a 'quiet time' of 1 hour. I tell parents that they do not have to sleep, but they do need to rest quietly. If they fall asleep, then I think that they needed it. If they don't they are reminded to be quiet so as not to disrupt those that are sleeping. The total time is 1 to 1.5 hours in the afternoon.

It is usally the parents that are trying to have their kids go to bed by 6:30 or 7 pm that have this concern. What a joke. You get home by 5:30, feed your kid, maybe bathe them and then put them to bed? What kind of quality time is that? Some people just don't want to be bothered with their kids nowadays. Or they give them a sweet treat at dinner and then want to blame their high activity level on you giving them a one hour nap!

So frustrating!
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Old 12-22-2012, 04:10 PM
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I think as providers we have to realize that all kids are different. Some need less sleep, some need more. I think it's wrong to suggest that parents are bad parents if they don't want their kids to take a nap during the day. It's our job (in my opinion) to work with the parents, to find out how the child is doing at home and try to make it a win win situation for everyone. I don't make major compromises, but on nap issues, maybe because I have btdt with my own kids, I do listen to the parents and find out what will work for us both. Have any of you experienced that with your own children? Them not going to bed because of taking a nap? Or am I the only one??
My DS stopped napping at a lil over 1. But he slept 12 hours straight every night! I go by the child's needs and could care less what parents want. My DCG now naps if she needs it but often she doesn't need it and I let her watch cartoons instead. I still get to do paperwork and clean up. As long as she sets quietly on the sofar I keep tv on.
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Old 12-22-2012, 05:31 PM
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I put mine down with up to 4 books they choose. Most don't read them, they are tired and they sleep. I have a 3.5 year old whose parents have hinted they want her to stop nap......but if she didn't need to sleep, she wouldn't. I think they problems they are having with her at home is more along the lines of lack of discipline. Same reason she comes to school with a tutu and no socks in 32 degree weather. She rules the roost. I am not going to give up my clean up/paperwork/relax time because they have trouble getting her to go to sleep at 8:00 PM.
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Old 12-22-2012, 10:30 PM
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I put mine down with up to 4 books they choose. Most don't read them, they are tired and they sleep. I have a 3.5 year old whose parents have hinted they want her to stop nap......but if she didn't need to sleep, she wouldn't. I think they problems they are having with her at home is more along the lines of lack of discipline. Same reason she comes to school with a tutu and no socks in 32 degree weather. She rules the roost. I am not going to give up my clean up/paperwork/relax time because they have trouble getting her to go to sleep at 8:00 PM.
My dcmom told me many nights DCG stays up till 10 or later. She gets dropped off at 6:20 am! I don't need them to tell me if she slept well or not. I can figure it out real fast! Often those mornings she sleeps in the am like 7-9am or something. But then she isn't always tired at our afternoon qt. some days she is. Shoot I go thru the same fluctuating needs for sleep. It's normal. I think if kids are calm they should be allowed books, colors ect and not forced to sit in silence bored stiff.
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Last edited by MamaG; 12-22-2012 at 10:31 PM. Reason: Correct iPhone autocorrect
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Old 03-06-2014, 03:57 PM
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I know this is an old post. However, I didnít feel it necessary to start a new one for my mini vent.

Today, a parent hangs back to ask me not to put DCK down for a nap. They are not sleeping at night due to naps.

UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH!
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:01 PM
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I know this is an old post. However, I didnít feel it necessary to start a new one for my mini vent.

Today, a parent hangs back to ask me not to put DCK down for a nap. They are not sleeping at night due to naps.

UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH!
tell them they didn't nap, even when u stand their with the toothpicks in eyes to keep them open................I do what works for me and my program.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:31 PM
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I basically told her itís part of my program. I didnít feel bad or guilty. I just donít get the correlation.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:37 PM
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I basically told her itís part of my program. I didnít feel bad or guilty. I just donít get the correlation.
any time anything happens at home that is harder for the parents is DC fault.......
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:56 PM
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any time anything happens at home that is harder for the parents is DC fault.......

Youíre right! What was I thinking?!
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Old 03-06-2014, 05:17 PM
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Blackcat, I know everything you are saying. I've read the reports. I've raised three children and have been in childcare for 14 years. I understand the whole issue of kids needing more sleep etc. All I can go on is my own experience with my kiddos. My 4 year old wakes at 7am and is in bed by 7:30pm. If she takes a nap in the afternoon, it does not make her more ready for bed in the evening. After a nap, I have tried putting her to bed at her usual 7:30pm bed time and she will lay there for 2 hours, not being able to sleep. I do NOTHING different in her routine except adding the nap. She has been that way for the last year. Just how her body works. My son wasn't this way, but she is. So I still believe, all kids are different. And we need to take that into consideration. If my daughter is getting 12 hours of sleep when she sleeps 7:30pm to 7:30am, or twelve hours when she sleeps 9 to 7 with a two hour nap, you bet I prefer for her to skip the nap and just have a rest time. All parents need some time in the evening to unwind with out their kids.

Believe me, I have had many parents who let their kids stay up late and they absolutely need a nap. I have a 5 year dcb like this. But I don't think it's right to make a blanket statement that we expect to apply to everyone. Rest times should definitely be for everyone. Naps I think we just need to be flexible one. JMHO.
You're right. However, I am not going to let a child skip nap at my home because they want to put their child into bed at 7:00 or 7:30PM. I'm not bending my rules because a parent wants to spend less than 2 hours a day with their kid (with you being a provider, I know that YOU spend all day with yours-this is not directed at you). My "downtime" is after the kids go to bed (9PM), and after I get all of my household chores done. Around 11PM, I watch a show on the DVR, and then get to bed around midnight. I'd LOVE to go to bed at 9, too, but I want alone time WITH my kids.
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Old 03-06-2014, 05:54 PM
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I basically told her itís part of my program. I didnít feel bad or guilty. I just donít get the correlation.
I don't provide service to children who don't need a FULL afternoon nap.
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Old 03-06-2014, 05:58 PM
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You're right. However, I am not going to let a child skip nap at my home because they want to put their child into bed at 7:00 or 7:30PM. I'm not bending my rules because a parent wants to spend less than 2 hours a day with their kid (with you being a provider, I know that YOU spend all day with yours-this is not directed at you). My "downtime" is after the kids go to bed (9PM), and after I get all of my household chores done. Around 11PM, I watch a show on the DVR, and then get to bed around midnight. I'd LOVE to go to bed at 9, too, but I want alone time WITH my kids.
I'm SHOCKED at how early parents want their kid to go to bed. I can't tell you how many times I have heard complaints of them getting up at the crack but when I ask the parent what time the kid goes to bed it is clear that it is just a couple of hours after leaving my house.
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Old 03-06-2014, 06:41 PM
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Years ago I had a DCB who's bedtime was 7:30-7::45. He was a sun up to sun down child. We used to joke that he would put on pjs and eat dinner in the car. Then when he got home, he was hosed off in the yard, dried and sent to bed.
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Old 03-06-2014, 06:53 PM
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I'm SHOCKED at how early parents want their kid to go to bed. I can't tell you how many times I have heard complaints of them getting up at the crack but when I ask the parent what time the kid goes to bed it is clear that it is just a couple of hours after leaving my house.
I have been shocked by this also.

I recently had a family request that I stop giving their newly turned 2 year old naps. They pick her up between 5:30-6:00 and want her in bed by 7:00. They also want her to sleep until at least 9:00 the next morning, before bringing her to me at 10:00. Seriously?!

My rule is everyone naps/rests. About a month before going to kindergarten, I start shortening nap time to help them adjust to the no nap/rest time in our school district.
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Old 03-06-2014, 08:02 PM
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I have a parent who puts their kid to bed at SIX-THIRTY. The poor kid just lays there for hours staring at the ceiling.
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Old 03-06-2014, 08:07 PM
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I have a parent who puts their kid to bed at SIX-THIRTY. The poor kid just lays there for hours staring at the ceiling.
I termed a parent whose NINE MONTH OLD wouldn't nap at my home. They actually told me (as if it were the "normal" thing to do) that they took her home, fed her, and put her to bed immediately after supper. They also told me every day when they dropped off between 8:30 & 9:00 that she JUST got up. Good God, I know EXACTLY why the child had such attachment issues-she was so neglected at home!
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Old 03-06-2014, 08:39 PM
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I termed a parent whose NINE MONTH OLD wouldn't nap at my home. They actually told me (as if it were the "normal" thing to do) that they took her home, fed her, and put her to bed immediately after supper. They also told me every day when they dropped off between 8:30 & 9:00 that she JUST got up. Good God, I know EXACTLY why the child had such attachment issues-she was so neglected at home!
I think this is very common with infants in centers. The ones who are there for ten plus hours a day go home, eat, bath and bed. They sleep so poorly in the fully lit rooms with adults who HAVE to get them up and other crying babies.

The parents get used to this being normal life. The only real awake time they have is on the weekends. This causes a huge disconnect where the parent becomes very overwhelmed when they have the baby awake. Enter swings, bouncy seats, and constant holding.
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Old 03-06-2014, 09:49 PM
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Gosh all of this makes me so sad.
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Old 03-07-2014, 05:29 AM
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In the last week I had 2 parents tell me their child just doesn't need as much sleep as most kids. Just asking.....do you think this is due to other problems such as lack of bedtime routine/discipline or do you think some kids just don't need as much sleep?
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