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  #1  
Old 10-26-2010, 08:44 AM
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Default Daycare Mom Breastfeeding At Your Daycare Home?

Have any of you had a mom bf at your daycare home? I have a mom that wanted to nurse her kid here. I have limited space and she wanted to go in my bedroom. I let her (repeatedly). My husband was ticked off that I let her do it. Our house is small and really has no private space other than the bathroom. She is expecting child number two. I don't want this to come up again but know it will. What are your experiences?
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Old 10-26-2010, 08:50 AM
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I don't know what others do and don't have that problem myself. But when my kids were in a home daycare I always nursed my baby at daycare. At drop off and pick up. She refused bottles all day and needed to be fed. But she had a space where I could do it. It wasn't private, but segregated from the other kids. Also, everyone in her care had been there a long time. We were like a very large family and not one of the parents minded if I was breastfeeding in the same room as long as I was discreet. But given that you don't have the room and your bedroom is the only place, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with that either. There are certain places that need to be private/off limits. Is there any other place for her?
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Old 10-26-2010, 08:51 AM
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Wow! How old is this child she is bf? If she is expecting #2 than I would think the older one would use a sippy or a bottle. I would possibly explain that it is difficult to do what she is asking and she should try to bring frozen or pumped breast milk for you to serve/feed the child. Where do you live? Can't she just hang outside on the porch or in her car?!?!? I am TOTALLY kidding about that! Wish I had some useful advice. It sounds like a tough call either way. I've had bf babies, but mom's always pumped and brought frozen or ready to eat milk for the babies. Good luck!
As far as using your bedroom, I would just say it is a habit you would rather not get into and leave it at that. You shouldn't have to explain not wanting to loan out your personal space.
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Old 10-26-2010, 08:55 AM
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i have had bf babies and several moms feed here. normally at pickups when they all seem to want to 'hang out ' ...can be irritating but being an extended breastfeeding mother at one time, i understand. theres no where for the moms to go here but in the living room/daycare area. moms just drape with a blanket.
i have no issues w/it really ...but i wouldn't ever let a parent in my bedroom. maybe tell her she needs to drape w/a blanket or just wait
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:02 AM
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I have had several mothers who breastfed their babies, but they did it at home before leaving in the am. I have never had anyone ask if they could stay here and do it. I probably would have to say no, I have children that need to use that bathroom, if she did it in there, I am not willing to give her my bedroom, for her nursing, and I am sure not going to have her do it on my couch, right by the front door, so everyone coming in could see her. I am sorry, but I would have to tell them no. If another mother knew you were allowing her to do this, she might ask you as well. Then she is having another baby, so she will be doing the same thing at that time. THis might be a great idea, tell her after the first of the yr. you cannot allow anyone to nurse here at daycare any longer. Tell her she needs to nurse at home, before arriving for the day. Tell her you really do not have the room, for her, and you need to use the bathroom, etc....
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:12 AM
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Wow I see no problem with it at all, I could see not wanting her in your room, I have let a couple mothers go and rock in my room, I have a very large room, and everyone goes in there, so its no problem for me, i tell my parents of babies, that they are more than welsome to come during lunch if they are able to nurse their babies, nursing is a very close thing that only she can do, and if she can get in a nurse, so she doesn't have to pump I understand, and at the end of the day she might be so engorged and in pain, and in need of the relief, If I were a breastfeeding mother with a baby in daycare although I wouldnt make it a point to nurse at daycare, it would always be at home, but if I really needed to because I was in pain or the baby was very hungry when I got there, I would expect it to be a BF friendly environment, and I think if I was told that I couldnt because they were grossed out or something by it, I would look elsewhere for care.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:33 AM
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Id have her sit right on the couch in the living room if she wanted to do it there, or offer up a confy chair outside on a nice summer day . Or anywhere really,.. but,.. Im open about it and pro public nursing, (covered, Im not talking about letting things all hang out, lol) Ive nursed mine in the playroom in a room full of kids and noone usually knew,...
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:34 AM
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Being an extended nursing mama myself (3 yo still nurses and I'm also expecting number 2 now ), I'm a bit torn on this one. How old is the kid in question?

If you're not a nursing mama yourself I guess I can see where this would look very strange to you and/or your DH and make you uncomfortable, especially if you don't have many spaces for the mom to do it in. We have a rocking chair in my DD's room and my bfing mamas have always been free to go in there and nurse their babes in the afternoon before they leave or nurse them in the rocker in the playroom. They never have, though. If the babe still nurses frequently throughout the day and night, then by the time mom gets off work she's probably pretty sore and really wanting and NEEDING to have some nursing before heading home.

At the same time, if you don't really have anywhere for her to do it, I can see asking her not to. That probably wouldn't offend me much if someone had asked me to do that.

And like laundryduchess, I'm very pro nursing, nursing in public, and I will most definitely be nursing my new peanut out in the open all the time. But lots of other parents are not that comfortable.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:48 AM
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I would explain to her that you cant keep lending out your bedroom and you understand decent private space is limited. Maybe this sounds nuts but I would offer put a small rocking chair (that could easily be moved when not in use) maybe in a hallway. It wouldnt take much to hang a curtain rod and curtain so she can pull it closed. People would know if the curtain is closed she's using the space. At the very least she knows you are trying to meet and respect her needs. If she doesnt like it.... oh well you tried.
Being an extended bf mom myself (dd hated bottles) I would use the space and be happy that you were providing me a private spot regardless if it was just a closed off hallway.
Good luck!
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Old 10-26-2010, 10:27 AM
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I was a BF mom with all 3 of my boys & with my youngest I nursed him 15 months so I can understand her desire to do so. However, as a in-home provider to me it would be a hassle b/c now I have to entertain her older child while mom is in the house. I would not like that. Does the mom live far from your home? Is she nursing for a long timeframe? If it was just a short timeframe it would be okay but I could easily see it getting dragged out to the point that the mom could be in your home 15-20 min & then have to get her child out too. I would not like it! I also don't have a large home so she would have to nurse in our living room (prime play are for the kids). If it was short & she did not waste time it might be okay. No way would I let her nurse in my bedroom.
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Old 10-26-2010, 10:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by janarae View Post
I was a BF mom with all 3 of my boys & with my youngest I nursed him 15 months so I can understand her desire to do so. However, as a in-home provider to me it would be a hassle b/c now I have to entertain her older child while mom is in the house. I would not like that. Does the mom live far from your home? Is she nursing for a long timeframe? If it was just a short timeframe it would be okay but I could easily see it getting dragged out to the point that the mom could be in your home 15-20 min & then have to get her child out too. I would not like it! I also don't have a large home so she would have to nurse in our living room (prime play are for the kids). If it was short & she did not waste time it might be okay. No way would I let her nurse in my bedroom.
I agree, and what if you had 3 or 4 moms wanting to breastfeed at the same time? It could happen- it would be a total disruption for yourself and other daycare children at daycare!!
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Old 10-26-2010, 10:43 AM
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The one mom I have that bf will once in a while bf the baby when she picks the kids up if the 3yo isn't ready to go. She just nurses discreetly while the kids play. I have no problem with it. I nursed all my kids in front of the daycare kids for 1-2 years each.

Now if she wanted to come in the middle of the day and nurse I wouldn't have liked that. I have never had anyone ask yet luckily. Not that I would mind the nursing part, just the interruption in the day would be too much for me to deal with.
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Old 10-26-2010, 10:48 AM
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I am sure not going to have her do it on my couch, right by the front door, so everyone coming in could see her.
Would it be OK if she wanted to feed her a bottle right there on your couch where everyone coming in could see her?


I would NOT let her have my bedroom. But I'd absolutely let her nurse. I've bf. I've had a bf baby that refused a bottle and would wait all day to be nursed. I would "top her off" as I dropped off and never had anyone give me any issue and when I picked up occasionally I'd feed her before I left - but knowing that dc providers want to move on with their evening schedule I sometimes did it in the car in her driveway or rushed home since I didn't live far.
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Old 10-26-2010, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Iowa daycare View Post
I have had several mothers who breastfed their babies, but they did it at home before leaving in the am. I have never had anyone ask if they could stay here and do it. I probably would have to say no, I have children that need to use that bathroom, if she did it in there, I am not willing to give her my bedroom, for her nursing, and I am sure not going to have her do it on my couch, right by the front door, so everyone coming in could see her. I am sorry, but I would have to tell them no. If another mother knew you were allowing her to do this, she might ask you as well. Then she is having another baby, so she will be doing the same thing at that time. THis might be a great idea, tell her after the first of the yr. you cannot allow anyone to nurse here at daycare any longer. Tell her she needs to nurse at home, before arriving for the day. Tell her you really do not have the room, for her, and you need to use the bathroom, etc....
I totally agree. There is no reason why the baby can't be fed at home before they leave. If there is a problem with baby not taking bottles well, maybe she should switch totally to bottles. It totally amazes me the expectations of some parents. I did have a mom once call and say she forgot her pump at work and of coarse I let her come in and sit....but it wasn't very often that it happened.
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  #15  
Old 10-26-2010, 10:57 AM
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I'm definitely pro-nursing here! The one mom that I have had nurse her baby here, does it in the kitchen at the kitchen table without a blanket. Thing is, she has to recognize the fact that my husband or sons could walk in at any time, and she's okay with that. They all know to avert their eyes, whether there's a blanket covering the baby or not. I have taught my kids to be extremely modest, but at the same time, a mama HAS to feed her baby, and they get that it's a natural function that doesn't necessarily demand privacy (unlike "other" natural functions ).

I don't have the space for an extra room or private area just for nursing either. If it were me nursing, I'd just sit down on the playroom floor, and if other moms are willing to do that, more power to them!

I'd say that if this mom wants to bf her new baby at daycare, she should also be okay with doing it around others. You could keep a blanket handy in case she's forgotten hers, but I don't think you should be giving up your bedroom for her. With this being the second child, she'll need to be able to bf and watch her older one at the same time anyway, especially if they're out in public. And it'll be a great education for the other dc littles too! If anywhere should be bf-friendly, it should be a place that takes care of babies, imho.
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:08 AM
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Would it be OK if she wanted to feed her a bottle right there on your couch where everyone coming in could see her?


I would NOT let her have my bedroom. But I'd absolutely let her nurse. I've bf. I've had a bf baby that refused a bottle and would wait all day to be nursed. I would "top her off" as I dropped off and never had anyone give me any issue and when I picked up occasionally I'd feed her before I left - but knowing that dc providers want to move on with their evening schedule I sometimes did it in the car in her driveway or rushed home since I didn't live far.
I have fathers coming in and mothers who would be very offended. ALso have Grandparents once in a while drop off and pick up, who would be very offended by this!!
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:09 AM
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I'd like to add that if I had a parent that was uncomfortable with walking in and seeing that or didn't want their children to see it - I'd likely consider it to be a bad match. And yes it is THAT big of a deal breaker for me.

When my dd was 3 months old I was doing daycare and during interviews I made it clear that was exclusively bfeeding and that her children would be "exposed" to "it" <roll eyes>
And my parents were fine with it. And if they weren't - they didn't have to sign up.

i see it like I see my wood stove. I had a parent that didn't like it. Didn't like the smell. and brought it up several times as though I was going to suddenly change the way that I heat my home. I clearly told him. The wood stove is part of the house - if the house doesn't work for you then this might not be a good match for us"
Breastfeeding is a natural part of life and I expect it will be taking place in and around my home for years to come and if you don't like it this house is not a good match for you.
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:20 AM
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i've had a mom occasionally bf, she just sat on the couch, For the most part, if womeone walks in they really have to look hard to see if someone is bf-ing-usually everything's all covered up-no flaunting of anything private! It still boggles my mind that some think of breastfeeding as something to be offended about, it's the way moms are made to feed their babies!
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:23 AM
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I would personally have to tell them to get over it. If they are so closeminded and judgmental,.. they dont deserve me. I truly think the words would be,.. well Im sorry you feel that way but Mrs nurser is welcome to do so in my home, Is welcome to do so in my yard, and if anyone has an issue with it they can find care elsewhere. Shes not stripping on a pole, she is giving her child food that was intended for a human baby. She is naturally feeding her child. Thats what breasts were intended to do. She isnt exposing herself to the world in an exposition of flesh,... she is feeding her child in a way nature intended. Covered modestly,.. in good taste. Do you really have a problem with that? then the stare.... that quiet uncomfortable stare.

personally when I was nursing my 12 yr old, we had a friend who would get up and leave the room when I nursed in my own home. He couldnt believe I did that "right out in the open" In the same room as prople. I flat told him,... the only time you have a problem with breasts is when they are doing what nature intended? Get over yourself. He suggested I go to a bathroom,... I refused, saying that when he ate on the pot I would consider it and until then he could either lose his closemindedness or get the bleep out of my home. He refused to allow his wife to nurse saying it was disgusting and unnatural. (we are no longer friends) lol. Gee,.. dont really miss him. lol



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I have fathers coming in and mothers who would be very offended. ALso have Grandparents once in a while drop off and pick up, who would be very offended by this!!
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:24 AM
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I didnt mean nursing my 12 yr old,..like I did it when she was 12. lol. this was 12 yrs ago. lol
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:27 AM
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I'd like to add that if I had a parent that was uncomfortable with walking in and seeing that or didn't want their children to see it - I'd likely consider it to be a bad match. And yes it is THAT big of a deal breaker for me.

.
100% agree!! sad to think ANYone would be 'offended' by a breastfeeding mother
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com View Post
I would personally have to tell them to get over it. If they are so closeminded and judgmental,.. they dont deserve me. I truly think the words would be,.. well Im sorry you feel that way but Mrs nurser is welcome to do so in my home, Is welcome to do so in my yard, and if anyone has an issue with it they can find care elsewhere. Shes not stripping on a pole, she is giving her child food that was intended for a human baby. She is naturally feeding her child. Thats what breasts were intended to do. She isnt exposing herself to the world in an exposition of flesh,... she is feeding her child in a way nature intended. Covered modestly,.. in good taste. Do you really have a problem with that? then the stare.... that quiet uncomfortable stare.

personally when I was nursing my 12 yr old, we had a friend who would get up and leave the room when I nursed in my own home. He couldnt believe I did that "right out in the open" In the same room as prople. I flat told him,... the only time you have a problem with breasts is when they are doing what nature intended? Get over yourself. He suggested I go to a bathroom,... I refused, saying that when he ate on the pot I would consider it and until then he could either lose his closemindedness or get the bleep out of my home. He refused to allow his wife to nurse saying it was disgusting and unnatural. (we are no longer friends) lol. Gee,.. dont really miss him. lol
You weren't really breastfeeding a 12 yr. old were you? LOL!!!
I think even if the Mom was on the couch covered they would stillhave a problem with it. I have had friends, relatives, etc. come over and breastfeed here covered, and I do not have a problem with it at all. But as far as daycare, I think they would.
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:28 AM
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I didnt mean nursing my 12 yr old,..like I did it when she was 12. lol. this was 12 yrs ago. lol
LOL!! I didn't think you meant that. You do hear of 3 yr. olds being still breastfed though!
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:30 AM
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lol,.. thats too funny,.. Ill have to tell her I made that mistake,..lol. she will be like" really mom,.. eww. no thanks Ill just get it from the fridge ok? " then roll her eyes and walk off knowing that her Mom is a dork. lollolol
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:31 AM
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actually there are laws,.... to protect a nursing moms rights,..
http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=14389
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:35 AM
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yup
lots of laws.
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:40 AM
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LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! as i read '12 yr old' i thought to myself...wow, and i thought i bf'd for a long time LMAO....I bf'd till my son was 3 months before 4yrs old...tho it was only at night...we also still co-sleep and he's 6 now....but i was and still am totally PRO-attachment parenting!! ie:bf'ing, extending bf'ing, co sleeping, cloth diapering .... so long as a parent is modest and not exposing herself whats the big deal?? esp when the child was a preemie and born at 32wks and NEEDED the breast milk, as in my case
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Old 10-26-2010, 12:00 PM
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To me though it is not a matter of letting the mom BF, it's that it is taking up my time. I only care for 1-2 families at a time so if it was pick-up time & I was "done for the day" I would still have this mom here nursing. That is the issue for me. When my day is over I want it to be over. I am very pro-BF but not if it means a parent is going to be in my home an extra 1/2 hr when my work day is over.
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Old 10-26-2010, 12:05 PM
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Wow, some of you are brave. I had breastfeeding both of my daughters when they were babies. I must to be in private like going to the restroom or nursing room to feeding my daughters. One time, I just joined group of moms with babies at the mall. One of woman just sat there next to me and decided to feeding him in public. Once I saw her then I was not very comfortable like this. I was embarrassed to see there were so many people looked at her. I also think it was disgusting. Later on, she noticed that I refused to look at her and she said to me, "it seems you are not comfortable and I think there is nothing wrong with it." I told her, "Good for you but not for me, I wouldn't do that in public since I like to be in private and I do not want anyone see my breasts which is disgusting." She tried to push me to tell me there is nothing wrong with it since it is nature and I dont care what she said but it is my decision.

If daycare mom wants to feeding her baby in my home then I will ask her to be in private in my bedroom or my daughters' room which is fine with me.
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Old 10-26-2010, 01:42 PM
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Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com View Post
I didnt mean nursing my 12 yr old,..like I did it when she was 12. lol. this was 12 yrs ago. lol
wow, couse at first I was like wow! I would have to leave the room for that one too
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Old 10-26-2010, 01:54 PM
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personally when I was nursing my 12 yr old, we had a friend who would get up and leave the room when I nursed in my own home. He couldnt believe I did
LMAO....hahaha I love this. Too funny!
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Old 10-26-2010, 02:21 PM
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Id have her sit right on the couch in the living room if she wanted to do it there, or offer up a confy chair outside on a nice summer day . Or anywhere really,.. but,.. Im open about it and pro public nursing, (covered, Im not talking about letting things all hang out, lol) Ive nursed mine in the playroom in a room full of kids and noone usually knew,...
Yes, this exactly. I really don't understand what the big deal is???
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Old 10-26-2010, 02:51 PM
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Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com View Post
Id have her sit right on the couch in the living room if she wanted to do it there, or offer up a confy chair outside on a nice summer day . Or anywhere really,.. but,.. Im open about it and pro public nursing, (covered, Im not talking about letting things all hang out, lol) Ive nursed mine in the playroom in a room full of kids and noone usually knew,...
AMEN! i can't believe this is even an issue still. i was watching something on TV the other day where a woman was asked to leave a coffee shop in NY for breastfeeding. i always threw a blanket over the baby and nobody would even know - or if they did, they didn't seem to care bc they couldn't see anything.

now, if the kid is 3 years old - it might be a little hard to hide that. i think if you're old enough to go to the fridge and open a gallon of milk to pour your own bottle, it might be a little too old to be bf'ing in public.
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  #34  
Old 10-26-2010, 02:54 PM
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Originally Posted by safechner View Post
Wow, some of you are brave. I had breastfeeding both of my daughters when they were babies. I must to be in private like going to the restroom or nursing room to feeding my daughters. One time, I just joined group of moms with babies at the mall. One of woman just sat there next to me and decided to feeding him in public. Once I saw her then I was not very comfortable like this. I was embarrassed to see there were so many people looked at her. I also think it was disgusting. Later on, she noticed that I refused to look at her and she said to me, "it seems you are not comfortable and I think there is nothing wrong with it." I told her, "Good for you but not for me, I wouldn't do that in public since I like to be in private and I do not want anyone see my breasts which is disgusting." She tried to push me to tell me there is nothing wrong with it since it is nature and I dont care what she said but it is my decision.

If daycare mom wants to feeding her baby in my home then I will ask her to be in private in my bedroom or my daughters' room which is fine with me.
you can breastfeed without exposing your breasts. i guess there are people who don't try to hide it, and that i don't understand.
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  #35  
Old 10-26-2010, 03:24 PM
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I have fathers coming in and mothers who would be very offended. ALso have Grandparents once in a while drop off and pick up, who would be very offended by this!!
Why would fathers be offended? I thought they all loved "the girls"?!? Totally kidding, but men are such babies!
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  #36  
Old 10-26-2010, 03:38 PM
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I don't allow parents to care for their children under my roof. I don't allow bottle or breast feeding here done by parents. My staff assistant and I do all the care of all the kids all of the time they are in my home.
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Old 10-26-2010, 03:51 PM
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I provide care for teachers children and am located close the the schools where most of them teach. Over the years I have had a few mothers that would come over every day during their lunch period to breastfeed. They would cover themselves in a blankent and sit on the counch while the other children and I were in the play room or kitchen.
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  #38  
Old 10-26-2010, 09:04 PM
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To me though it is not a matter of letting the mom BF, it's that it is taking up my time. I only care for 1-2 families at a time so if it was pick-up time & I was "done for the day" I would still have this mom here nursing. That is the issue for me. When my day is over I want it to be over. I am very pro-BF but not if it means a parent is going to be in my home an extra 1/2 hr when my work day is over.

I am totally with janarae on this one. I am pro-bf'ing and moms are welcome to bf their children at my house as long as it is within their contracted times. I bf'd my own 2 kids and feedings can take anywhere from 15-30 minutes (or more). I would NOT want a mom arriving 30 mins before dropoff or staying 30 mins after pickup time to nurse. No way no how. When my kids were in daycare I would pick them up and nurse them in the car before heading home - even in winter.

I am fortunate enough to have a separate area for nursing if a mom needed to do so, but if I did not, I would NOT let a parent nurse in my bedroom or any of my family's private space for that matter. If you don't already have a rocking chair I wouldn't purchase one. I would offer up a space on the couch and she can cover with a blanket. You could give her a regular chair and face it toward a corner. If the mom needs complete privacy to nurse then she will have to go to her car.
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  #39  
Old 10-27-2010, 05:26 AM
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Misol - I agree completely!!
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  #40  
Old 10-27-2010, 05:46 AM
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I am totally with janarae on this one. I am pro-bf'ing and moms are welcome to bf their children at my house as long as it is within their contracted times. I bf'd my own 2 kids and feedings can take anywhere from 15-30 minutes (or more). I would NOT want a mom arriving 30 mins before dropoff or staying 30 mins after pickup time to nurse. No way no how. When my kids were in daycare I would pick them up and nurse them in the car before heading home - even in winter.

I am fortunate enough to have a separate area for nursing if a mom needed to do so, but if I did not, I would NOT let a parent nurse in my bedroom or any of my family's private space for that matter. If you don't already have a rocking chair I wouldn't purchase one. I would offer up a space on the couch and she can cover with a blanket. You could give her a regular chair and face it toward a corner. If the mom needs complete privacy to nurse then she will have to go to her car.
i agree except i'd be a little weirded out to have to face a corner to bf! lol.
i used to do it in public - i remember one time doing it at wal mart on a bench (with a blanket draped so even if anyone did know, they couldn't see). i'd usually go to a restroom to get adjusted and then go from there. if i was at home and had company - or if my husband had friends over, i'd just walk into the other room and stand there with a blanket draped. i didn't care that they knew what i was doing, but you can still be discreet without "hiding." his friends would talk to me or he would say something as simple as "is she STILL eating?" i don't think anyone with half a brain is uncomfortable with BFing these days. if they are, maybe their mother didn't breastfeed!
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  #41  
Old 10-27-2010, 06:13 AM
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you can breastfeed without exposing your breasts. i guess there are people who don't try to hide it, and that i don't understand.
Tell me about it, one of my DCM's is like this. I also don't have a problem with DCM's BF in my home at pick-up as long as they are within their contracted hours. I am ont of those that doesn't mind BF in public as long as I have a blankie or cover over me, I mean I don't want to totally expose myself out in public KWIM? But DCM comes in, pulls the boobie out and nurses right on the couch. I've handed her receiving blankets and such because in my home you just never know when someone will come home and I live with my fiance and 2 of his brothers and they've walked in and there she was, BF with all her glory hanging out. After I started handing her the receiving blanket she got the picture, once she said it was too hot to cover him and I suggested that she BF him in her truck, it has tinted windows.
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  #42  
Old 10-27-2010, 06:42 AM
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Here is a question for everyone- Do large facilities/preschools allow breast feeding mothers at all hrs. of the day breastfeeding their children? I am just curious!! I think it would be interesting to find out if they allow this all day.
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  #43  
Old 10-27-2010, 11:50 AM
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Originally Posted by QualiTcare View Post
you can breastfeed without exposing your breasts. i guess there are people who don't try to hide it, and that i don't understand.
Still, I wouldn't do it in the public at all. I used receiving blanket over or over with my shirt all the time when I was in private in the restroom or nursing room in the mall or any stores. My husband always wait for me when I was done nursing to my daughters with no problems.
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  #44  
Old 10-27-2010, 11:59 AM
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Do large facilities/preschools allow breast feeding mothers at all hrs. of the day breastfeeding their children
I used KinderCare and they were fine with it and they are a large chain and at one point I used La Petite (another chain) and they too were fine with it.
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  #45  
Old 10-27-2010, 02:30 PM
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i agree except i'd be a little weirded out to have to face a corner to bf! lol.
i used to do it in public - i remember one time doing it at wal mart on a bench (with a blanket draped so even if anyone did know, they couldn't see). i'd usually go to a restroom to get adjusted and then go from there. if i was at home and had company - or if my husband had friends over, i'd just walk into the other room and stand there with a blanket draped. i didn't care that they knew what i was doing, but you can still be discreet without "hiding." his friends would talk to me or he would say something as simple as "is she STILL eating?" i don't think anyone with half a brain is uncomfortable with BFing these days. if they are, maybe their mother didn't breastfeed!
Oh, facing the corner is totally optional for the mom. I was offering that as an alternative in case the mom felt the sofa wasn't private enough. I also did it in public with a draped blanket but I never went to a restroom. I just think public restrooms are unsanitary and since I wouldn't eat in one, I don't want my babies to eat in one either

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Originally Posted by Iowa daycare View Post
Here is a question for everyone- Do large facilities/preschools allow breast feeding mothers at all hrs. of the day breastfeeding their children? I am just curious!! I think it would be interesting to find out if they allow this all day.
The daycare center that I took my children to was right across the street from where I worked at the time. I made sure to ask about nursing my baby on the premises before I signed the contract and they said no problem. They even put a rocking chair in a closet for me so that I could have some privacy.

Regardless of a center's true feelings about bf'ing, I think that most would allow it out of fear of legal action if they said no. They may try to discourage it but I doubt they would come right out and say no or have a written policy prohibiting it.
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  #46  
Old 10-27-2010, 02:49 PM
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Oh, facing the corner is totally optional for the mom. I was offering that as an alternative in case the mom felt the sofa wasn't private enough. I also did it in public with a draped blanket but I never went to a restroom. I just think public restrooms are unsanitary and since I wouldn't eat in one, I don't want my babies to eat in one either



The daycare center that I took my children to was right across the street from where I worked at the time. I made sure to ask about nursing my baby on the premises before I signed the contract and they said no problem. They even put a rocking chair in a closet for me so that I could have some privacy.

Regardless of a center's true feelings about bf'ing, I think that most would allow it out of fear of legal action if they said no. They may try to discourage it but I doubt they would come right out and say no or have a written policy prohibiting it.
This is true!!
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  #47  
Old 10-28-2010, 07:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Iowa daycare View Post
Here is a question for everyone- Do large facilities/preschools allow breast feeding mothers at all hrs. of the day breastfeeding their children? I am just curious!! I think it would be interesting to find out if they allow this all day.
Yes, they do. Some even provide a separate room.
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  #48  
Old 12-14-2012, 09:03 PM
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I nursed my son (coveted by my shirt jacket and facing mote away from the kids) in a day care center . A parent complained so the two directors/owners told me I was not allowed to nurse him in front of anyone (had to go in a empty day care room or their bathroom , or my older son (he went their for after school) would be kicked out because the other parents concern was more important . I was so upset that I didn't think anyone would care to help me. I was angry and after that week ended, I ended up removing my son from that daycare. I should have called the local news. Because when i tried telling them about my legal rights they told me they didn't care and that was when they threatened to terminate care with my son to please the other parent.
I am very pro breast feeding now and pro public breast feeding cover or NO cover. If any parent had an issue with me nursing my own child or with another parent nursing their child in my home, They would be shown the door and care would be ended immediately . I'm sending out handbooks tonight (email) and I think it will be a good idea to mention this upfront so potential new clients are aware on my stance with this . That if they have a problem with nursing a child , they are not a good fit here.
One of my clients just the other day came to pick up dcg . Normally her dad picks her up. So seeing mom she started grabbing at her shirt and wanting to nurse . She told her no and "because they were in public" I said she was more than welcome to sit on the couch and nurse her before they left, but she declined. I can see her not wanting to because she just wanted to hurry home after a long day of work. But don't call my house "in public" as if nursing "in public" is a bad thing.
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  #49  
Old 12-14-2012, 09:55 PM
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I also nursed my son a couple of times at my providers house, right on her couch. I was completely covered up & this was only when he didn't eat well before we left but, seemed to want to eat then!
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Old 12-14-2012, 10:21 PM
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I have a separate room with an improvised couch/mattress for one of my mothers to use everyday to bf behind closed door at pick up time.
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  #51  
Old 12-14-2012, 11:41 PM
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Breastfeeding is best for babies, it is in my policies that I am happy to work with you...in California mothers may legally breastfeed anywhere, idk about your state laws but that is something to consider.
BUT I wouldn't offer my bedroom - the sofa is fine, use a blanket if shy but I don't require it. Children aren't bothered although a few may be curious at first...people love to watch puppies & kittens nurse, so why should babies be a problem??
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  #52  
Old 12-15-2012, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by momma2girls View Post
I have fathers coming in and mothers who would be very offended. ALso have Grandparents once in a while drop off and pick up, who would be very offended by this!!
Then you have some very closed minded families. Breasts are for food, not to be lusted after. People who view breastfeeding in a sexual light are the ones with a problem, not the nursing mom.
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  #53  
Old 12-15-2012, 09:21 AM
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I'd like to add that if I had a parent that was uncomfortable with walking in and seeing that or didn't want their children to see it - I'd likely consider it to be a bad match. And yes it is THAT big of a deal breaker for me.

When my dd was 3 months old I was doing daycare and during interviews I made it clear that was exclusively bfeeding and that her children would be "exposed" to "it" <roll eyes>
And my parents were fine with it. And if they weren't - they didn't have to sign up.

i see it like I see my wood stove. I had a parent that didn't like it. Didn't like the smell. and brought it up several times as though I was going to suddenly change the way that I heat my home. I clearly told him. The wood stove is part of the house - if the house doesn't work for you then this might not be a good match for us"
Breastfeeding is a natural part of life and I expect it will be taking place in and around my home for years to come and if you don't like it this house is not a good match for you.
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  #54  
Old 12-15-2012, 09:23 AM
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I would personally have to tell them to get over it. If they are so closeminded and judgmental,.. they dont deserve me. I truly think the words would be,.. well Im sorry you feel that way but Mrs nurser is welcome to do so in my home, Is welcome to do so in my yard, and if anyone has an issue with it they can find care elsewhere. Shes not stripping on a pole, she is giving her child food that was intended for a human baby. She is naturally feeding her child. Thats what breasts were intended to do. She isnt exposing herself to the world in an exposition of flesh,... she is feeding her child in a way nature intended. Covered modestly,.. in good taste. Do you really have a problem with that? then the stare.... that quiet uncomfortable stare.

personally when I was nursing my 12 yr old, we had a friend who would get up and leave the room when I nursed in my own home. He couldnt believe I did that "right out in the open" In the same room as prople. I flat told him,... the only time you have a problem with breasts is when they are doing what nature intended? Get over yourself. He suggested I go to a bathroom,... I refused, saying that when he ate on the pot I would consider it and until then he could either lose his closemindedness or get the bleep out of my home. He refused to allow his wife to nurse saying it was disgusting and unnatural. (we are no longer friends) lol. Gee,.. dont really miss him. lol
You also rock! I only watch a max of two kids but breastfeeding is ALWAYS welcome here! I had one mom who used to pump in my living room every day before she left. I nursed my twins until 37 months.
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  #55  
Old 12-15-2012, 09:25 AM
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I know this is an old thread but it seems like most people missed the original point....it isnt a debate about whether BFing is good or bad, or should be done in public or private....the original point was the OP asking if she should continue offering up her OWN bedroom for a breastfeeding mom. I dont think that is at all necessary nor would I recommend it. Providers that use their entire home, every bedroom and every bathroom, for daycare use generally burn out faster than those that maintain their boundaries and privacy. I would recommend that a provider NOT offer up their own bedroom for a nursing mom.

For me, all the families that I work with are within 10 minutes of my home. While I am pro BFing, there is no reason why they cannot nurse before they get here or nurse when they get home. Having a person sitting in your home or playroom can turn into a stressful situation, especially if they want to nurse outside of your business hours. I personally dont allow moms to come on their lunch breaks. That doesnt work for me at all and the disruption for my setup gets old fast.
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  #56  
Old 12-15-2012, 09:27 AM
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I tend to agree with most of you on most issues but there have been a lot of really offensive things said here. Do you really think babies are supposed to eat formula? What to other mammals do? They nurse! Women's bodies are designed for breastfeeding. There is no reason to cover because breasts are not sexual when feeding a baby! I'd you want me to cover while nursing, you dang well better cover while bottle feeding!
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  #57  
Old 12-15-2012, 10:18 AM
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I would never let parents in my personal rooms like our bed rooms. She can either drape a blanket over herself and sit in the day care room like everyone else or do it in the car or go home. I close and nobody is welcome for any reason to stay and 'hang out' for any reason during my family time.
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Old 12-15-2012, 03:13 PM
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I would never let parents in my personal rooms like our bed rooms. She can either drape a blanket over herself and sit in the day care room like everyone else or do it in the car or go home. I close and nobody is welcome for any reason to stay and 'hang out' for any reason during my family time.
But by making her cover, you are sexualizing her breasts. Would you make your husband or sun cover with a shirt at all times?
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Old 12-15-2012, 03:48 PM
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If the mom feels she needs a private place to BF then she should do it in the privacy of her own home. I would allow a mom to sit on my sofa or at the kitchen table if she needed to nurse, but I don't allow people in my bedrooms. You have to draw the line somewhere! I understand why your DH was annoyed.. My DH doesn't even like it when I need to put a crib in our room, even for a short time! I already have people in my playroom (formerly my large living room) walking thru my sitting room (formerly my small dining room), my kitchen AND my bathroom... You have to draw the line.
Just offer her the sofa, and if she needs privacy, offer her a blanket. Closed minded people GENERALLY don't LIKE it, but they don't kick up a huge fuss.. Not enough to pull their kids.
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Old 12-15-2012, 06:53 PM
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But by making her cover, you are sexualizing her breasts. Would you make your husband or sun cover with a shirt at all times?
When day care is open yes. And if asking someone to respect modesty in my home is sexualizeing breasts then so be it. I don't need to do anything it has already been done. My house my rules, don't like it go home.
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Old 12-16-2012, 08:04 AM
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But by making her cover, you are sexualizing her breasts. Would you make your husband or sun cover with a shirt at all times?
I serve families with many different cultural beliefs. Covering in my home would be a MUST. I don't care what others believe or don't believe.


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When day care is open yes. And if asking someone to respect modesty in my home is sexualizeing breasts then so be it. I don't need to do anything it has already been done. My house my rules, don't like it go home.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:23 AM
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I had posted to this old thread,becuase it was a new topic for me,and interesting to see what others thought. Since posting that, I wanted to share what it says in my handbook now:

"Here, we do not discriminate against the breastfeeding child. This means breast milk is welcome, and any mother desiring to openly nurse her child in my home is welcome. This includes myself, who will nurse my youngest as long as he desires. If any one has a problem with this, my home is not the right place for you. "

I used the word "we" because my husband & kids feel the same as I do.
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Old 12-16-2012, 12:09 PM
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I have had many moms that breastfed, but they all (but 1) brought the breastmilk in bags for me to bottle feed. One mom wanted to bf feed her almost 2 year old daughter. The first time was at pickup and I guess it caught me by surprise, so I allowed her to use my bedroom. It took a 1/2 hr and by the time she was done it was 6:00. I close at 5:30. The second time she came in and the dcg walked up to her and started whining and the mom said, oh I know what you want and she asked again if she could bf. It was 5:25. I told her sorry no, it's almost 5:30 and she actually had just had a snack with a sippy cup. Again she was almost 2 and they lived 10 minutes away. Had nothing to do with me believing or not in bfing.
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:44 PM
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I have had many moms that breastfed, but they all (but 1) brought the breastmilk in bags for me to bottle feed. One mom wanted to bf feed her almost 2 year old daughter. The first time was at pickup and I guess it caught me by surprise, so I allowed her to use my bedroom. It took a 1/2 hr and by the time she was done it was 6:00. I close at 5:30. The second time she came in and the dcg walked up to her and started whining and the mom said, oh I know what you want and she asked again if she could bf. It was 5:25. I told her sorry no, it's almost 5:30 and she actually had just had a snack with a sippy cup. Again she was almost 2 and they lived 10 minutes away. Had nothing to do with me believing or not in bfing.


Amen! If my day is done get outa my house! I want my family time. Every minute of it. I bf my son I couldn't my daughter because of medications I had to take, I fully support it, even extended bfing, wish I could have my lil girl. But this is a business and when I'm closed I'm closed, this ain't Walmart!
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Old 12-17-2012, 04:00 AM
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I have no issues with a BF'ing mom who wants to pop in to nurse - during my business hours. However I agree with the posters who have said, closing time is closing time. Also, mom would be shown the glider that is kept in the corner of my class room just for that purpose. It's private enough and away from the "family" areas of my home. It's where I nursed my own kids during my working hours

I know this thread is very old (and no idea why so many old threads get bumped here?) but one of the things I do when parents show up right at my closing time is to have kids in their coats, shoes on and the child is pretty much handed out the door with a "have a great night!" I do this because I can't think of any business where I can show up right at closing and expect to be let in. If my local grocery store closes at 9:00, they won't even let me in if I were to show up right at 9:00. I send home a daily note letting the parents know everything about their child's day, so no need for long conversations at pick up when the kids start going off the wall.
Far from feeling as if I am pushing their kid out the door(althought quite honestly after working 10+ hour days I don't care much if they think that I am!), most parents express gratitiude that I make it easy. Just a thought.
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Old 12-17-2012, 06:40 AM
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But by making her cover, you are sexualizing her breasts. Would you make your husband or sun cover with a shirt at all times?
yes my husband wears a shirt at all times in front of the daycare kids and families....even in front of his own daughters.

If a mom could discreetly nurse in front of the kids, I have no problem with that. but if she could not, I would require a cover. Its not about what I think....its about what the other families are comfortable with. I am not in business to educate on BFing dos and donts....I am here to provide daycare and if that means accommodating someone else that is more modest or private, then that is fine (as in accommodating a family that would prefer to not walk in on a nursing mom or have their kids get a front row seat to it). no one is saying she shouldnt feed her baby, just that there may be some guidelines to it such as covering, feeding in a certain area or within certain times.
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:05 AM
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The only problem I have ever had is the bfing dcm who comes at closing time and then wants to feed her child.
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:50 AM
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The only problem I have ever had is the bfing dcm who comes at closing time and then wants to feed her child.
How did you solve the problem?
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Old 12-17-2012, 12:12 PM
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I have no issues with a BF'ing mom who wants to pop in to nurse - during my business hours. However I agree with the posters who have said, closing time is closing time. Also, mom would be shown the glider that is kept in the corner of my class room just for that purpose. It's private enough and away from the "family" areas of my home. It's where I nursed my own kids during my working hours

I know this thread is very old (and no idea why so many old threads get bumped here?) but one of the things I do when parents show up right at my closing time is to have kids in their coats, shoes on and the child is pretty much handed out the door with a "have a great night!" I do this because I can't think of any business where I can show up right at closing and expect to be let in. If my local grocery store closes at 9:00, they won't even let me in if I were to show up right at 9:00. I send home a daily note letting the parents know everything about their child's day, so no need for long conversations at pick up when the kids start going off the wall.
Far from feeling as if I am pushing their kid out the door(althought quite honestly after working 10+ hour days I don't care much if they think that I am!), most parents express gratitiude that I make it easy. Just a thought.
I think this would get the point across nicely! If I have plans I have kids ready to go and have met them in the front yard before! Lol
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Old 12-17-2012, 12:26 PM
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But by making her cover, you are sexualizing her breasts. Would you make your husband or sun cover with a shirt at all times?
Yes, I do ask for my husband and son to wear a shirt while they are up running around the house. They also have to wear shorts and not walk around in just their underwear.

1. I don't allow my daughters to run around shirtless/only wearing bras/etc.
2. I think it would be rude/disrespectful to let them even think of doing this when I would have parents here.
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Old 12-17-2012, 05:43 PM
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Yes, I do ask for my husband and son to wear a shirt while they are up running around the house. They also have to wear shorts and not walk around in just their underwear.

1. I don't allow my daughters to run around shirtless/only wearing bras/etc.
2. I think it would be rude/disrespectful to let them even think of doing this when I would have parents here.
Do they swim in a tshirt? If not, you are still saying that women's breasts are a sexual object and not men's. it is really amazing to see how many day cares I would NOT send my children to based on these responses. I don't think people need to stay after hours but breasts are meant for food, not s*x. It is only within the last hundred years or so that our society has twisted and warped this view.
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Old 12-17-2012, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Twinvillageiowa;29828[LIST
[/list]3]Do they swim in a tshirt? If not, you are still saying that women's breasts are a sexual object and not men's. it is really amazing to see how many day cares I would NOT send my children to based on these responses. I don't think people need to stay after hours but breasts are meant for food, not s*x. It is only within the last hundred years or so that our society has twisted and warped this view.
They are meant for both. And therein lies the conundrum.
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Old 12-17-2012, 08:19 PM
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grrrrrr!!!!! hate when I am in the middle of reading and realize a thread is over 2 years old!!! why do we bump these things???
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Old 12-17-2012, 10:20 PM
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OK I KNOW I am going to get blasted for this however before responding take a deep breath and understand this is just my opinion..........

I have 2 kids and didn't bf it just wasn't for me. I am all for the rights of woman to bf but I personally would feel uncomfortable for a Mother to be sitting in my home doing this. I don't want someone wandering into one of my personal rooms doing this so really their only option is on the couch in the middle of the playroom. Now that being said I have been put in this situation a few times with a prior Mom. She NEVER wanted to cover herself cause she liked making eye contact with her baby while this was going on. Which TOTALLY made me feel uncomfortable cause I felt like I needed to hold a conversation with this mother who's boob was just hanging out. Now obviously the other kids noticed and wanted to watch so not only and I freaking out and trying to keep myself composed but I am also trying to pry kids away from her and once a 2-3yr is focused it's impossible to get them to focus on something else! The 2nd time she did this in my home I had another Mother (who bf'ed) show up to pick up her child and was furious! Not that the mother was bf'ing but that she was doing it exposed to the kids, she didn't say anything at the time, her expression was worth enough. It was a disaster and all the med's in the world couldn't control my anxiety! After talking with the angry Mother later that night I decided to talk to the other parents that didn't know yet and they too were not happy. I too was not comfortable with the situation. Everyone said to have her cover-up, so the next day when I had a conversation with the bf'ing Mom she was furious that I told her she needed to cover up.............she told me about all the laws that protect her rights etc........... But the bottom line is this is MY house and in my personal house I am the law! I ended up letter her go cause in the end she refused to cover up, I couldn't pry the booby watchers away and I had 5 other families that were ready to walk!
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Old 12-18-2012, 12:51 AM
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Do they swim in a tshirt? If not, you are still saying that women's breasts are a sexual object and not men's. it is really amazing to see how many day cares I would NOT send my children to based on these responses. I don't think people need to stay after hours but breasts are meant for food, not s*x. It is only within the last hundred years or so that our society has twisted and warped this view.
So very nice you think that but our society and many others do not. If bfmeans you need to flash your private body parts (it is illegal to go topless if you're a female in the USA) then that's your problem. As I'm certain we'd probably decline to work with you I'm sure you could understand how much we could care less lol if you'd want a slot in one of our programs.
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Old 12-18-2012, 12:58 AM
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OK I KNOW I am going to get blasted for this however before responding take a deep breath and understand this is just my opinion..........

I have 2 kids and didn't bf it just wasn't for me. I am all for the rights of woman to bf but I personally would feel uncomfortable for a Mother to be sitting in my home doing this. I don't want someone wandering into one of my personal rooms doing this so really their only option is on the couch in the middle of the playroom. Now that being said I have been put in this situation a few times with a prior Mom. She NEVER wanted to cover herself cause she liked making eye contact with her baby while this was going on. Which TOTALLY made me feel uncomfortable cause I felt like I needed to hold a conversation with this mother who's boob was just hanging out. Now obviously the other kids noticed and wanted to watch so not only and I freaking out and trying to keep myself composed but I am also trying to pry kids away from her and once a 2-3yr is focused it's impossible to get them to focus on something else! The 2nd time she did this in my home I had another Mother (who bf'ed) show up to pick up her child and was furious! Not that the mother was bf'ing but that she was doing it exposed to the kids, she didn't say anything at the time, her expression was worth enough. It was a disaster and all the med's in the world couldn't control my anxiety! After talking with the angry Mother later that night I decided to talk to the other parents that didn't know yet and they too were not happy. I too was not comfortable with the situation. Everyone said to have her cover-up, so the next day when I had a conversation with the bf'ing Mom she was furious that I told her she needed to cover up.............she told me about all the laws that protect her rights etc........... But the bottom line is this is MY house and in my personal house I am the law! I ended up letter her go cause in the end she refused to cover up, I couldn't pry the booby watchers away and I had 5 other families that were ready to walk!
You did the right thing. It's a novel idea that our bodies aren't 'sexual' why not show your vagina? It's for peeing or birthing babies after all right? And your butt? Is it not for bowel movements and sitting on? Get real people! Their are private areas, including boobs on a female, that should remain covered and seen only by her husband and kids. I would prefer my son see his first live boob as an adult. Not some chick flashing him in my house, or the mall. Cover yourself and find some other issue to fulfill your need for attention and drama.
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Old 12-18-2012, 04:17 AM
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Do they swim in a tshirt? If not, you are still saying that women's breasts are a sexual object and not men's. it is really amazing to see how many day cares I would NOT send my children to based on these responses. I don't think people need to stay after hours but breasts are meant for food, not s*x. It is only within the last hundred years or so that our society has twisted and warped this view.
I just wanted to point out that yes, my husband does wear a shirt for swimming. As do most men/boys I know. Not because of their breasts, but because we take skin cancer prevention very seriously in our area.
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Old 12-18-2012, 05:06 AM
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You did the right thing. It's a novel idea that our bodies aren't 'sexual' why not show your vagina? It's for peeing or birthing babies after all right? And your butt? Is it not for bowel movements and sitting on? Get real people! Their are private areas, including boobs on a female, that should remain covered and seen only by her husband and kids. I would prefer my son see his first live boob as an adult. Not some chick flashing him in my house, or the mall. Cover yourself and find some other issue to fulfill your need for attention and drama.
Unless you know someone who eats sh*t, this is a poor analogy. I am all for covering up when in someone's private home, if that makes the home owner more comfortable, but that mother nursing in the mall? She's not flashing you, she is feeding her baby. And if you don't want your son to see that then keep him inside rather than infringe on that mothers right to feed her baby and the baby's right to be fed.

Its a self indulgent society indeed when someone's trivial sensibilities are put before feeding a baby. My babies didn't like to eat covered up...I don't like to eat with a blanket on my head either because food is a social function for humans too.

I love that people think a woman who nurses without a blanket over her baby's head is doing so for attention and drama. I'm sorry but those are your own insecurities coming out, not drama-seeking by the nursing mama. IME, women who nurse with a blanket draw more attention than women who nurse without a bulky cover. I'm sure all those nursing mamas are hoping for a big dramatic scene! Give me a break. This is nonsense.
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Old 12-18-2012, 08:52 AM
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The lives of nearly 900 babies would be saved each year, along with billions of dollars, if 90% of U.S. mothers breast-fed their babies for the first six months of life, a cost analysis says.
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationwo...,2405524.story

This study came out 2 years ago - I remebered it because my son was still nursing at the time. The societal stigma is one of the biggest reason women do not breastfeed & feel uncomfortable about it. My child would never nurse with a blanket over his head when he was little - also we are told to keep blankets away from small babies faces but we are supposed to cover their heads when they eat? And should women be forced to stay inside until the child is weaned? As for pumping, I dont know how anyone does it, it's awful.
I understand that many people do feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding, but I also feel it is extremely selfish & childish to let one's own feelings of discomfort stand in the way of an infant's well being...
Seeing someone breastfeeding wont hurt children - maybe if they are exposed at a young age they wont have such a big issue about it as so many people seem to Maybe someday feeding a child the way nature intended instead of some processed crap will no longer be looked down on
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Old 12-18-2012, 09:09 AM
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I have only ever had one mom who came around lunch time to bf. She just sat in the family room in one of the recliners. I just went on with the day. I would never let them go into my bedroom. I would say that if she wants to do it she needs to sit somewhere else (not in your bedroom). As long as the baby takes a bottle for me I dont really mind they come to bf as long as it doesnt run into nap time!
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Old 12-18-2012, 10:26 AM
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I've offered my guest room to a nursing mom who had a very colicky baby who would start screaming as soon as she saw mom at pick up time. When I was nursing, my daughter wanted to eat NOW, and would be miserable and create a huge amount of stress until we could get set up to nurse. I figured, it mom could sit down and nurse for a few minutes, then we could have a normal conversation afterwards about how her baby's day had gone.

That being said, as the mother of an older child, I'd rather pack them up and nurse at home. Older babies and toddlers who aren't relying on breastmilk for nutrition, more for comfort, could probably wait until they get home. I'd still offer a space to nurse for a mom who wanted to though. If you're not comfortable offering up your room and the mom wants privacy, she could go in the kitchen while you're with the kids in another part of the house? Doesn't matter to me if she wants to sit and nurse while we chat, I just know some nursing moms want the private spaces.
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Old 12-18-2012, 12:17 PM
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OK I KNOW I am going to get blasted for this however before responding take a deep breath and understand this is just my opinion..........

I have 2 kids and didn't bf it just wasn't for me. I am all for the rights of woman to bf but I personally would feel uncomfortable for a Mother to be sitting in my home doing this. I don't want someone wandering into one of my personal rooms doing this so really their only option is on the couch in the middle of the playroom. Now that being said I have been put in this situation a few times with a prior Mom. She NEVER wanted to cover herself cause she liked making eye contact with her baby while this was going on. Which TOTALLY made me feel uncomfortable cause I felt like I needed to hold a conversation with this mother who's boob was just hanging out. Now obviously the other kids noticed and wanted to watch so not only and I freaking out and trying to keep myself composed but I am also trying to pry kids away from her and once a 2-3yr is focused it's impossible to get them to focus on something else! The 2nd time she did this in my home I had another Mother (who bf'ed) show up to pick up her child and was furious! Not that the mother was bf'ing but that she was doing it exposed to the kids, she didn't say anything at the time, her expression was worth enough. It was a disaster and all the med's in the world couldn't control my anxiety! After talking with the angry Mother later that night I decided to talk to the other parents that didn't know yet and they too were not happy. I too was not comfortable with the situation. Everyone said to have her cover-up, so the next day when I had a conversation with the bf'ing Mom she was furious that I told her she needed to cover up.............she told me about all the laws that protect her rights etc........... But the bottom line is this is MY house and in my personal house I am the law! I ended up letter her go cause in the end she refused to cover up, I couldn't pry the booby watchers away and I had 5 other families that were ready to walk!
I understand your situation, that must have been really hard. The thing that parents have to remember is that a good number of us here are legally unlicensed daycares, meaning this is a private residence and we are not required by law to follow breastfeeding legislation like an actually public place or business would have to. Anyone that is a licensed daycare, should double check with their licensing office to see what they are required by law to provide but again, the rules are different or non existent because a daycare is in a home. Everyone should double check but if there is no regulation you have to follow then it is well within your right to say, "hey this situation does not work for my daycare setup". That doesnt mean you are anti BFing. you didnt ask her to not BF. You asked her to cover and feed discreetly.
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Old 12-18-2012, 12:22 PM
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Originally Posted by snips&snails View Post
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationwo...,2405524.story

This study came out 2 years ago - I remebered it because my son was still nursing at the time. The societal stigma is one of the biggest reason women do not breastfeed & feel uncomfortable about it. My child would never nurse with a blanket over his head when he was little - also we are told to keep blankets away from small babies faces but we are supposed to cover their heads when they eat? And should women be forced to stay inside until the child is weaned? As for pumping, I dont know how anyone does it, it's awful.
I understand that many people do feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding, but I also feel it is extremely selfish & childish to let one's own feelings of discomfort stand in the way of an infant's well being...
Seeing someone breastfeeding wont hurt children - maybe if they are exposed at a young age they wont have such a big issue about it as so many people seem to Maybe someday feeding a child the way nature intended instead of some processed crap will no longer be looked down on
There are plenty of nursing cover options that do not require placing a blanket over your babies face....just a thought.....
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Old 12-18-2012, 04:04 PM
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I understand that many people do feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding, but I also feel it is extremely selfish & childish to let one's own feelings of discomfort stand in the way of an infant's well being...
Seeing someone breastfeeding wont hurt children - maybe if they are exposed at a young age they wont have such a big issue about it as so many people seem to Maybe someday feeding a child the way nature intended instead of some processed crap will no longer be looked down on
I have a good story for you.

My son is 12.5 and in 7th grade. He was adopted at birth and has been raised in a home child care. He has no knowledge of breast feeding. He doesn't know anything about moms producing milk. In the last five years nearly all of the infants I care for are breast milk babies. He's not a part of my business and has never been in his whole life so he doesn't know anything at all about any of the babies milk, food, formula... nothing.

He has also never seen a womans breast in person. He knows nothing of it. He hasn't gotten to the age where he has interest in girls. We've never discussed breast feeding. We are modest at home. I'm a single mom to a preteen boy so we are fully dressed around the house.

This Thanksgiving I went to my cousins house. She just lost her husband in March to a horrible accident. Thanksgiving was the first major holiday since his passing so we decided between the two families to spend time together. My son and I got up at the crack on Thursday and flew from Des Moines to Denver.

Joining us at our Thanksgiving meal was my cousins deceased husbands X Step Father and his daughter. She brought her two year old and one year old.

We sat down to eat just a few hours after we had been there. The extended relatives joined us about an hour before the meal. The little kids free ranged the house until it was time to sit down.

My son was directly across a three foot span table from the Mom of the one year old. As soon as she had her plate loaded she brought the one year old up to the table and pulled her shirt up to feed him. Her breast was in FULL view of my son. The baby wasn't having it so he latched and unlatched multiple times. Each time he bucked away from her her breast was fully exposed.

We have never met this woman. She was a complete stranger to me and my son. It's obvious he's a preteen or teen as he is 5 foot 7 already.

She wasn't feeding a hungry baby. She was putting him at the breast so she could manage him with one hand while she fed herself off of her plate with the other. It was easier for HER to have him at her breast then to have him up and free ranging the house. He just wanted to run the house so the feeding didn't even happen.

What she did accomplish was blindsiding me and my son and not even giving a heads up that she was going to feed at the Thanksgiving table. She didn't care. She didn't ask. We would have been more than happy to step away and have our meal in another room or not even eat at all. She didn't give us a chance to decide.

My son had no idea what was even happening. As I said before, he knows nothing of breast feeding. All it was to him was a complete stranger exposing fully and completely her entire breast. He was very uncomfortable and looked to me for what to even do.

I was shell shocked. We ate a bit more off of our plates and then both of us just got up and went in to do dishes. For the rest of their visit whenever she brought the kid into her lap my son left the room.

To this day I haven't discussed breast feeding with him. This mom forced us into that situation but I refuse to allow her to force me into having this conversation with him. I will do that when I'm ready and when I feel he is ready. He wasn't ready then and he's not now.

What I DID discuss with him is that some people have belief systems they feel that everyone else SHOULD have and they don't give a flip what others think. They don't care. They do what is best for them with NO regard to the feelings of others. They blindside you and force you into their mindset at a time when you are vulnerable and unsuspecting.

We talked about that a lot and continue to to this day.

I didn't discuss it with my cousin. In the scheme of life... her life as it is now... it wasn't worth a mention. But... I will remember this for the rest of my life. I will remember the day when a full grown adult woman exposed herself to my son under the guise of what her RIGHTS are. I'll remember her disregard. I'll remember my immediate thought that ALL she had to do was just tell us she was going to expose herself and we would have accomodated our own sense of modesty and made our own choice. She could have had everything her way without having to involve my son.

In the end... that what it was about. This woman having HER way and interjecting HER rights above my kids right to have a Thanksgiving meal with his family without seeing her breasts.

Her behavior was selfish. She should have thought about my kid. She should have understood he is nearly a teenager and a male child and that there was a high liklihood he has never seen a womans breast in full view very close up. She should have offered us an opportunity to placate HER rights by opting out.

I'm over the breast feeding moms rights. I hate the "in your face" Time magazine cover approach. That's what I had for my Thanksgiving dinner under someone else's roof. I promise you that wouldn't happen under mine.
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Old 12-18-2012, 05:11 PM
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If the baby needed to eat so be it. If the mother was to put a receiving blanket over her or something I wouldn't care one bit if it was in the same room as the day home. If other parents were offended by another parent nurturing their child at my home, they are more than welcome to find another place that won't support that parent.
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Old 12-18-2012, 07:18 PM
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I have a good story for you.

My son is 12.5 and in 7th grade. He was adopted at birth and has been raised in a home child care. He has no knowledge of breast feeding. He doesn't know anything about moms producing milk. In the last five years nearly all of the infants I care for are breast milk babies. He's not a part of my business and has never been in his whole life so he doesn't know anything at all about any of the babies milk, food, formula... nothing.

He has also never seen a womans breast in person. He knows nothing of it. He hasn't gotten to the age where he has interest in girls. We've never discussed breast feeding. We are modest at home. I'm a single mom to a preteen boy so we are fully dressed around the house.

This Thanksgiving I went to my cousins house. She just lost her husband in March to a horrible accident. Thanksgiving was the first major holiday since his passing so we decided between the two families to spend time together. My son and I got up at the crack on Thursday and flew from Des Moines to Denver.

Joining us at our Thanksgiving meal was my cousins deceased husbands X Step Father and his daughter. She brought her two year old and one year old.

We sat down to eat just a few hours after we had been there. The extended relatives joined us about an hour before the meal. The little kids free ranged the house until it was time to sit down.

My son was directly across a three foot span table from the Mom of the one year old. As soon as she had her plate loaded she brought the one year old up to the table and pulled her shirt up to feed him. Her breast was in FULL view of my son. The baby wasn't having it so he latched and unlatched multiple times. Each time he bucked away from her her breast was fully exposed.

We have never met this woman. She was a complete stranger to me and my son. It's obvious he's a preteen or teen as he is 5 foot 7 already.

She wasn't feeding a hungry baby. She was putting him at the breast so she could manage him with one hand while she fed herself off of her plate with the other. It was easier for HER to have him at her breast then to have him up and free ranging the house. He just wanted to run the house so the feeding didn't even happen.

What she did accomplish was blindsiding me and my son and not even giving a heads up that she was going to feed at the Thanksgiving table. She didn't care. She didn't ask. We would have been more than happy to step away and have our meal in another room or not even eat at all. She didn't give us a chance to decide.

My son had no idea what was even happening. As I said before, he knows nothing of breast feeding. All it was to him was a complete stranger exposing fully and completely her entire breast. He was very uncomfortable and looked to me for what to even do.

I was shell shocked. We ate a bit more off of our plates and then both of us just got up and went in to do dishes. For the rest of their visit whenever she brought the kid into her lap my son left the room.

To this day I haven't discussed breast feeding with him. This mom forced us into that situation but I refuse to allow her to force me into having this conversation with him. I will do that when I'm ready and when I feel he is ready. He wasn't ready then and he's not now.

What I DID discuss with him is that some people have belief systems they feel that everyone else SHOULD have and they don't give a flip what others think. They don't care. They do what is best for them with NO regard to the feelings of others. They blindside you and force you into their mindset at a time when you are vulnerable and unsuspecting.

We talked about that a lot and continue to to this day.

I didn't discuss it with my cousin. In the scheme of life... her life as it is now... it wasn't worth a mention. But... I will remember this for the rest of my life. I will remember the day when a full grown adult woman exposed herself to my son under the guise of what her RIGHTS are. I'll remember her disregard. I'll remember my immediate thought that ALL she had to do was just tell us she was going to expose herself and we would have accomodated our own sense of modesty and made our own choice. She could have had everything her way without having to involve my son.

In the end... that what it was about. This woman having HER way and interjecting HER rights above my kids right to have a Thanksgiving meal with his family without seeing her breasts.

Her behavior was selfish. She should have thought about my kid. She should have understood he is nearly a teenager and a male child and that there was a high liklihood he has never seen a womans breast in full view very close up. She should have offered us an opportunity to placate HER rights by opting out.

I'm over the breast feeding moms rights. I hate the "in your face" Time magazine cover approach. That's what I had for my Thanksgiving dinner under someone else's roof. I promise you that wouldn't happen under mine.
Thank you for sharing. It is important to note that many of the providers here take school age children....up 10 or even 12 year olds.
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Old 12-21-2012, 02:40 PM
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I have a good story for you.

My son is 12.5 and in 7th grade. He was adopted at birth and has been raised in a home child care. He has no knowledge of breast feeding. He doesn't know anything about moms producing milk. In the last five years nearly all of the infants I care for are breast milk babies. He's not a part of my business and has never been in his whole life so he doesn't know anything at all about any of the babies milk, food, formula... nothing.

He has also never seen a womans breast in person. He knows nothing of it. He hasn't gotten to the age where he has interest in girls. We've never discussed breast feeding. We are modest at home. I'm a single mom to a preteen boy so we are fully dressed around the house.

This Thanksgiving I went to my cousins house. She just lost her husband in March to a horrible accident. Thanksgiving was the first major holiday since his passing so we decided between the two families to spend time together. My son and I got up at the crack on Thursday and flew from Des Moines to Denver.

Joining us at our Thanksgiving meal was my cousins deceased husbands X Step Father and his daughter. She brought her two year old and one year old.

We sat down to eat just a few hours after we had been there. The extended relatives joined us about an hour before the meal. The little kids free ranged the house until it was time to sit down.

My son was directly across a three foot span table from the Mom of the one year old. As soon as she had her plate loaded she brought the one year old up to the table and pulled her shirt up to feed him. Her breast was in FULL view of my son. The baby wasn't having it so he latched and unlatched multiple times. Each time he bucked away from her her breast was fully exposed.

We have never met this woman. She was a complete stranger to me and my son. It's obvious he's a preteen or teen as he is 5 foot 7 already.

She wasn't feeding a hungry baby. She was putting him at the breast so she could manage him with one hand while she fed herself off of her plate with the other. It was easier for HER to have him at her breast then to have him up and free ranging the house. He just wanted to run the house so the feeding didn't even happen.

What she did accomplish was blindsiding me and my son and not even giving a heads up that she was going to feed at the Thanksgiving table. She didn't care. She didn't ask. We would have been more than happy to step away and have our meal in another room or not even eat at all. She didn't give us a chance to decide.

My son had no idea what was even happening. As I said before, he knows nothing of breast feeding. All it was to him was a complete stranger exposing fully and completely her entire breast. He was very uncomfortable and looked to me for what to even do.

I was shell shocked. We ate a bit more off of our plates and then both of us just got up and went in to do dishes. For the rest of their visit whenever she brought the kid into her lap my son left the room.

To this day I haven't discussed breast feeding with him. This mom forced us into that situation but I refuse to allow her to force me into having this conversation with him. I will do that when I'm ready and when I feel he is ready. He wasn't ready then and he's not now.

What I DID discuss with him is that some people have belief systems they feel that everyone else SHOULD have and they don't give a flip what others think. They don't care. They do what is best for them with NO regard to the feelings of others. They blindside you and force you into their mindset at a time when you are vulnerable and unsuspecting.

We talked about that a lot and continue to to this day.

I didn't discuss it with my cousin. In the scheme of life... her life as it is now... it wasn't worth a mention. But... I will remember this for the rest of my life. I will remember the day when a full grown adult woman exposed herself to my son under the guise of what her RIGHTS are. I'll remember her disregard. I'll remember my immediate thought that ALL she had to do was just tell us she was going to expose herself and we would have accomodated our own sense of modesty and made our own choice. She could have had everything her way without having to involve my son.

In the end... that what it was about. This woman having HER way and interjecting HER rights above my kids right to have a Thanksgiving meal with his family without seeing her breasts.

Her behavior was selfish. She should have thought about my kid. She should have understood he is nearly a teenager and a male child and that there was a high liklihood he has never seen a womans breast in full view very close up. She should have offered us an opportunity to placate HER rights by opting out.

I'm over the breast feeding moms rights. I hate the "in your face" Time magazine cover approach. That's what I had for my Thanksgiving dinner under someone else's roof. I promise you that wouldn't happen under mine.
I am sorry, but this story is just rediculous. I pity your son because he doesn't understand what breasts are for. Did you hide his face and bottle under a blanket when ou fed him? No? Then you are discriminating against breastfeeding women and making them out to be doing something wrong. Are you also going to avoid discussions about sex, birth control, drugs and alcohol? This would have been the perfect time to talk about how and why people feed their babies in particular manners and to encourage him to support breastfeeding. And why the heck should she have asked if it was ok to nurse or alerted you to it? Did you ask if you could eat from your plate of food?
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Old 12-21-2012, 02:41 PM
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There are plenty of nursing cover options that do not require placing a blanket over your babies face....just a thought.....
Do you cover up a bottle fed baby's face?
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Old 12-22-2012, 04:25 PM
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I am sorry, but this story is just rediculous. I pity your son because he doesn't understand what breasts are for. Did you hide his face and bottle under a blanket when ou fed him? No? Then you are discriminating against breastfeeding women and making them out to be doing something wrong. Are you also going to avoid discussions about sex, birth control, drugs and alcohol? This would have been the perfect time to talk about how and why people feed their babies in particular manners and to encourage him to support breastfeeding. And why the heck should she have asked if it was ok to nurse or alerted you to it? Did you ask if you could eat from your plate of food?
lol - at 12 years old if you think he doesn't know anything because you haven't "had this discussion" I think you have your head in the sand - unless he is homeschooled and no tv/internet AND highly isolated .
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Old 12-22-2012, 05:02 PM
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lol - at 12 years old if you think he doesn't know anything because you haven't "had this discussion" I think you have your head in the sand - unless he is homeschooled and no tv/internet AND highly isolated .
See the thing is this breast feeding mom didn't know that. She couldn't have known whether or not my son has tv, internet, or is isolated. She didn't know if his Mama has her head in the sand. She didn't know if he had "had this discussion". She was a total stranger to us.

She was okay with exposing her breast to my twelve year old son not knowing a single thing about HIS life.... where HE was developmentally. She did what was best for HER and what SHE thought was right. She didn't consider the obvious that you picked up on in one post on the internet or a day care forum.
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Old 12-22-2012, 05:03 PM
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Do you cover up a bottle fed baby's face?
No I don't.
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Old 12-22-2012, 06:17 PM
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Do you cover up a bottle fed baby's face?
No I dont.

But I still stand by my statement that it is okay for a particular provider to set some boundaries about breastfeeding in their home. What works for my home and what I allow may be different than someone else's daycare and that is okay. I dont personally believe that bottle feeding and breast feeding are the exact same thing or affect others the same way. That is what I believe. While I do feel that this thread is an important discussion, I also feel that we providers need to support one other and refrain from bulling others online to feel the exact same way as that is not cool. I am not saying necessarily that Twin is bullying, but I am feeling that this is yet another thread where a few strong minded people take over the thread and cannot agree to disagree.
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Old 12-22-2012, 07:00 PM
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I am sorry, but this story is just rediculous. I pity your son because he doesn't understand what breasts are for. Did you hide his face and bottle under a blanket when ou fed him? No? Then you are discriminating against breastfeeding women and making them out to be doing something wrong. Are you also going to avoid discussions about sex, birth control, drugs and alcohol? This would have been the perfect time to talk about how and why people feed their babies in particular manners and to encourage him to support breastfeeding. And why the heck should she have asked if it was ok to nurse or alerted you to it? Did you ask if you could eat from your plate of food?
Well we agree that it was just rediculous. I thank you for having pity on my son because he doesn't understand what breasts are for. It shows you have a bit more feeling towards him than she did. I would have been very grateful for her to show the pity a total stranger on the internet shows when she was with my total stranger twelve year old son in real life.

Are you also going to avoid discussions about sex, birth control, drugs and alcohol?

No I won't avoid these discussions but I will get into these discussions when I feel he is ready. I'm his mother and I know him really well. I know the right time to have serious talks about life, death, education, community, personal rights, freedom etc. I feel very comfortable with how I have managed it so far. When something is relevant to his life or our life then we discuss it with age appropriate consideration and with full understanding that he is being raised to be an upstanding, caring, compasionate, and balanced adult.

This would have been the perfect time to talk about how and why people feed their babies in particular manners and to encourage him to support breastfeeding.

Naw. Breastfeeding isn't an issue I would want to educate him on unless he showed an interest in it. It's not an issue that is relevant in any aspect of his life. It doesn't matter if he grows to support it, not support it, or has indiference to it all together. There are many causes in life that he may decide are valuable to his own life but the chances of this one being one of them is highly unlikely. Possibly when he's a full grown adult and has his own children he may show an interest in the issue. Who knows. As a pre-teen it isn't important to his life. He's interested in legos, battery operated cars, minecraft, and sleepovers with his friends on his Christmas break. Right now he's fashioned a grappling hook from his playmobil set and is going around the house picking up stuff like my tv remote and my can of pop.

What WAS important to discuss was how some people will blindside him, take advantage of their position, and will pursue their own agenda despite how it makes him feel and without consideration of what he needs or wants. Discussing how THAT feels is relevant to his life.

And why the heck should she have asked if it was ok to nurse or alerted you to it

I didn't suggest she should have asked if it was ok to nurse. What I said was that she should have forewarned me that she was about to pull her shirt up and expose her entire breast three feet away from my twelve year old son a couple of minutes into eating Thanksgiving dinner. She should have given us the option to opt out BEFORE she lifted her shirt. She should have taken into consideration that there was a twelve year old boy sitting three feet from her who might be uncomfortable seeing a forty year old womans breast close up and in full view.

I don't care why she was going to lift her shirt and expose her breast. It wouldn't have mattered to me or my son that she was going to "feed" her child or she wanted some fresh air. Her reason for doing it didn't affect my child. Exposing her naked breast to him did.

She didn't have her "rights" threatened. She got to do exactly what she wanted to do exactly when she wanted to. Nothing was said to her. Nothing happened. She could have had whatever real estate in the house she wanted.. the Thanksgiving table.. the dining room...... the living room... whatever she wanted. A few words in advance would have solved the entire thing. A quick "I'm going to breast feed my son" would have completely solved the entire thing. Seven words said in three seconds and I would have had the chance to make my own mind up of whether to stay or go.

If I would have even THOUGHT that an adult woman at the table was going to lift up her shirt and expose her breast three feet from my kid I wouldn't have even attended the dinner. I would have flown into town in the evening and started our visit when she was done exercising her rights.

What she did was so inapropriate and selfish. Her toddlers rights and her rights don't supercede my rights or my kids rights. It was indecent, rude, and selfish. A few words to communicate her intent and a little consideration would have met everyones needs so the holiday meal could be enjoyed by everyone and her rights remain intact.

There's going to come a day and it will be soon enough that the in your face public breast feeding cause is going to backfire. The shock value of exposing the breast to the public while feeding is going to wear off. When it does it's going to be an open invitation to have the public PARTICIPATE by not allowing a moments peace during the public feedings. It will start with the teenagers and work it's way up to young adults and eventually by adults who have nefarious interests. Breast feeding in public without cover is going to be an open invitation to the public to come see about little johnny while his mama is feeding. The issue won't be "public awareness" for too much longer. Nearly everyone over the age of twelve has a cell phone camera, the internet, and an opinion.

They will "see" your fully exposed breast and "raise" you a good.... long look..... real..... close..... up...... in your personal eighteen inches of space. They will bombard you with questions and give their opinion while your baby is feeding. They will video tape you and put you up on youtube and facebook. They will use the zoom on the camera when they tape. They will come up with their own captions and comentary and do their own editing. They will use your baby's image however they want whenever they want. The possibilities are endless. If you are going to go public know the public is going to go public too. They will be able to exercise their rights when you are exercising yours. Be careful what you wish for for you shall surely get it.
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Old 12-22-2012, 09:12 PM
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While I do feel that this thread is an important discussion, I also feel that we providers need to support one other and refrain from bulling others online to feel the exact same way as that is not cool. I am not saying necessarily that Twin is bullying, but I am feeling that this is yet another thread where a few strong minded people take over the thread and cannot agree to disagree.
I agree. And to me, it is bullying. Many threads lately have gone down this same road, and honestly, its off-putting. This is a board where people supported each other, although not necessarily agreeing on everything. But to go into every other thread and see people (many who are new members) berating and dressing down other members because they feel differently about something....really sucks.
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Old 12-22-2012, 11:34 PM
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They will "see" your fully exposed breast and "raise" you a good.... long look..... real..... close..... up...... in your personal eighteen inches of space. They will bombard you with questions and give their opinion while your baby is feeding. They will video tape you and put you up on youtube and facebook. They will use the zoom on the camera when they tape. They will come up with their own captions and comentary and do their own editing. They will use your baby's image however they want whenever they want. The possibilities are endless. If you are going to go public know the public is going to go public too. They will be able to exercise their rights when you are exercising yours. Be careful what you wish for for you shall surely get it.
I disagree - public breastfeeding is much more accepted in many countries & does not face these issues.

I will say that I would never have nursed my child in that situation with a child of that age next to me, as the teen years are a touchy age developmentally, I imagine it would be very uncomfortable for a child of that age. I can understand that in a mixed, up close & personal group of strangers/semi strangers that it could have been handled more diplomatically Of course if I sensed people were uncomfortable I probably would have launched into an informational chat too lol.
However I do think that it was a GREAT opportunity to discuss non-sexual uses of private parts of the body - a calm brief discussion can be very beneficial in such situations in removing the awkwardness. Our society soves breasts & sexuality in our children's faces non-stop - we can't always choose the event but we can seize those teachable moments!Also I feel it is not unreasonable that a male might hold an opinion about how his children are nourished - I hope we all encourage our boys to be involved fathers
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Old 12-23-2012, 01:00 AM
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Ok, here's my two cents. (or three or four)
First of all, I think we cal ALL agree that breasfeeding = good. We, as adults, understand what is going on when we see a baby nursing. HOWEVER, a lot of children don't understand what's happening when they see that and in my opinion, it is not appropriate to openly nurse your baby(as in not covered) in a room of children that are not yours while the parents are not there to have a chance to remove the child from the situation(should they wish to do so) or even explain to them what is going on (if that's what they wanted).

Second, I personally would be very incomfortable with a mom going into my bedroom to breastfeed. My bedroom is my personal space. I would let her nurse in the playroom as long as she was covered if there were other kids around.

Third, I exclusively breast fed both my kids until they were 6 months old and there were VERY FEW times I found the NEED arise to nurse in public. But, when I did, I covered up. One time I did have to breast feed my son at the home daycare he went to. I can't remember the exact circumstances of the situation but I would feed hom every morning before we left the house except that morning, for some reason, I couldn't or he wouldn't or something. So when I got to his daycare (at 6:30 am- no other kids besides the providers) I asked her if it was ok if I fed him. She said yes, went to kitchen to make breakfast. I was in the room by myself (except for my son) and I STILL covered up out of courtesy to her kids just in case they walked in the room. Even in my own home, if I had visitors over, I would go to my bedroom to nurse/pump. Why? That leads me to my #4....

My husband, my kids, and I are the only ones who need to see these things. I'm sorry but no matter how much you say "They are made to feed babies. That's what they're there for" Yes, that's right, but they're there for other reasons, too

I know I went into a rant and I apologize for that. My point is, I think breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful thing and I believe in a mother's right to breastfeed in public but I also believe in a parent's right to choose when, how or if they expose their children to such a thing.

Also, as for covering a baby while bottle feeding. I get where you're coming from but, of course no one covers a baby while bottle feeding. Because unlike breasts, bottles only serve ONE purpose and are not viewed in any way, shape, or form as sexual.

Agree to disagree
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:05 PM
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Default Breastfeeding in Public

I stumbled upon this thread, which I know is old, but I also want to add my two cents I'm actually nursing my DD as I type, and I have gotten comfortable nursing in public as needed. It's the best thing, since I don't have to worry about trying to warm a bottle or so forth when out.
Nursing is natural and beautiful for family bonding. However, I also think it is a respect thing. If a person is discreet then they should be able to breastfeed anywhere. But it is just a matter of respect to try to find the most private place (NOT a bathroom or any other unsanitary place!!!) A breast can be for nutrition, can be sexual, but it is most definitely PRIVATE. I do not see a breast as "sexual," if I saw one flashed while someone was nursing I would be uncomfortable b/c that is a private body part. Just my opinion!

Last edited by Michael; 02-14-2013 at 01:39 PM.
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Old 04-22-2013, 06:41 PM
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I, too, know that this is a very old thread, but it was recently linked.
I am extremely pro-breastfeeding. My nearly three year old still BFs to sleep for nap and bed, and usually first thing and the morning. If she injures herself, then she drinks more milk.
So far all of my dck's have been from breastfeeding mothers. I make it clear that I will be breastfeeding my daughter in front of their children. I've donated my milk to a couple different friends over the year.
Regarding putting up a video of me breastfeeding.. BTDT. It was called the evening news when my husband and I opened our own shop back when my daughter was first born. I've breastfed pretty much any place I've been. Restaurants, church service, funerals, weddings, wal-mart, the mall, the zoo, the park, MLB games, ... I think you get the picture. IfI've been there with my children, I've breastfed there.
I do not feed for shock value, despite what some think. I feed because it is what my child needs right then.
Some of the attitudes are ridiculous and I am left just shaking my head. Oh well.. can't please everyone.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:58 PM
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I'm very supportive of BFing mamas too and would definitely find a private place for someone to BF if they wanted to.

But it's YOUR business and YOUR house so you get to decide what you're comfortable with. That's the beauty of family child care!
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