Crying Child

I just started watching a little girl who is 8.5months. If i put her down all she does is cry, and I mean cry. She has been with me for over 2 weeks. I can see that she gets adult play all day, but I'm busy with the other kids so I can't just carry her all day and I can't play with her all day either. I can be in the same room and she cries. How can I fix this.

[Cat Herder]

I wish there was an easy button for you...but only time and consistency will fix this.

Create a safe area for her where older kids cannot target her and give her lots of Gravity Therapy (with many wonderful toys, of course).

[cheerfuldom]

yup, nothing but time on this one. no holding unless absolutely necessary and try your best to not pick her up until she calms. Its hard, especially at this age and could take a couple months. its up to you if you have that kind of patience or not. I cannot do criers, done it before and no amount is worth the chaos one child can cause. I just term and find another kid that does fit in if the trial period gives no progress. also make sure she is having enough sleep (I think all of my criers were kids that had very poor sleep habits) and also a good diet and plenty of time outdoors.

I was just coming on here to post the same about the same age child. Mine's a part-timer so that's even harder, plus mom's attachment parenting, which from what I'm discovering doesn't mix with the daycare scene. I'm not sure what to do with him. I get him going pretty good and then we have a long wknd and it's all screwed up the next week.

[JennyBear]

I recently went through this with 2 daycare kids. One was 12 months and the other was 10.5 months. Sounds like they did the same thing your daycare kid is doing. I couldn't put these kids down for 2 seconds without them crying, and even following me around. It was so annoying and put a damper on everyone's day. The only advice I have for you is to provide an area for the little one to play in (maybe a playpen?) or let them be on the floor with the other children. Let the child cry and do not pick up unless you have to for. It will drive you nuts, but hang in there. When it came time for me to do a craft or circle time with the other children, I would just put the criers upstairs in their playpen for a quiet time so that I could speak to the other children and be heard. Sometimes the little ones would fall asleep or just calm down. Once I went to get them and brought them down the crying would begin again (if it had stopped) but then I just carried on my day and never picked up. It will stop soon!
Within a couple of weeks this behavior has stopped and everything got easier. Both kids are still here and are doing very well. They go about their day and don't care what I'm doing or who I'm with.
I know it seems like it will never end but hang in there.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I was just coming on here to post the same about the same age child. Mine's a part-timer so that's even harder, plus mom's attachment parenting, which from what I'm discovering doesn't mix with the daycare scene. I'm not sure what to do with him. I get him going pretty good and then we have a long wknd and it's all screwed up the next week.

Ugh.... I feel for you. IMHO, Parents who choose AP then put their child in daycare full-time is like people claiming to be Vegans who only eat Steak at lunch. I am sure they think that by doing part-time they are doing him a favor, but it really makes it that much harder to establish a routine.

As a Mother I know it is part of a parents job to prepare their child for the life they (THE CHILD) is going to lead.... not the life they (THE PARENT) wishes they could give them.

[caligirl]

Originally Posted by Unregistered regular

I just started watching a little girl who is 8.5months. If i put her down all she does is cry, and I mean cry. She has been with me for over 2 weeks. I can see that she gets adult play all day, but I'm busy with the other kids so I can't just carry her all day and I can't play with her all day either. I can be in the same room and she cries. How can I fix this.

Like the others said. Only time will fix this. And don't pick her up every time she cries. One of mine just got out of that stage. It took her about 2 months.

[cheerfuldom]

the combo of part timer AND AP parenting is hell for a daycare provider. This is by far the most challenging situations I have ever had to deal with. In some ways it is worse then just letting a kid run wild with no rules. I am not knocking AP, all I am saying is that everything you are taught with that style is polar opposite of what daycare is.

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

the combo of part timer AND AP parenting is hell for a daycare provider. This is by far the most challenging situations I have ever had to deal with.

I had this lady call me one time with THIS scenario:

Infant
AP
State paid
Part time
Rotating days
Breast fed
cloth diaper
transport by bus
daily 2 hour visits at naptime

She calls me and tells me the above and that with her split shifts she wanted to come to my house (during nap... she worked at a child care downtown and that she would never put her kid there).

She wanted .. for the twenty dollars a day... to come every day during nap time for TWO hours and breast feed and "hang out".

She couldn't get anyone to even interview her.

I told her straight that it would be nearly impossible for her to find someone to do all of the above. The two hour visit every day was enough to put me off her list but all the rest of it for next to no money... NO WAY

She didn't get it at all. She gave me the "my child" and she should be able to get to know anyone who takes care of her kid... she should be able to hang out every day to do that...

Didn't understand the managing breast milk babies was any different than formula... that cloth wasn't harder than paper diapers... and that breast fed baby in cloth was even harder... that rotating shifts for part time was only going to work if you got full pay (which the state doesn't do)... and that the AP wouldn't work in group care.

I tried to explain that she really couldn't present a provider with more things against her if she tried. I'm not even clever enough to make up a worse case scenario for really low pay.

If she wanted a slot she needed to do full time.. no daily visits... not expect the a.p. and that she would be LUCKY to find someone to do breast milk and cloth diapers. I don't know of any provider that does both here. I would be happy to do the cloth BUT I would charge a daily fee for it on top of the tuition that would be more than the cost of diapers.

I've often wondered about how it turned out for her. She didn't have a clue about why she couldn't even get anyone to interview her.

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

the combo of part timer AND AP parenting is hell for a daycare provider. This is by far the most challenging situations I have ever had to deal with. In some ways it is worse then just letting a kid run wild with no rules. I am not knocking AP, all I am saying is that everything you are taught with that style is polar opposite of what daycare is.

Challenging is an understatement....especially when mom is so completely convinced that baby should never have to cry. Well, baby cries at daycare more than enough to make up for the not crying at home. I've tried explaining it to her, but it's like talking into a pillow...she doesn't hear a word I say, just is sad that baby cries so much. I finally quit telling her how much, exactly, baby does cry.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by nannyde

I had this lady call me one time with THIS scenario:

Infant
AP
State paid
Part time
Rotating days
Breast fed
cloth diaper
transport by bus
daily 2 hour visits at naptime

She calls me and tells me the above and that with her split shifts she wanted to come to my house (during nap... she worked at a child care downtown and that she would never put her kid there).

OH, MAN...... Would I have loved to have seen the look on your face. I'd be looking for the hidden camera if I got that call.... Did she even READ your website?? Nan got punked.....

[cheerfuldom]

oh man, thats pretty crazy interview nanny. basically all the most challenging parts for baby care rolled into one clueless mom. yikes!

[dave4him]

that is hard... so very hard,,, but consitency is very important

[misspollywog]

Originally Posted by nannyde

I've often wondered about how it turned out for her. She didn't have a clue about why she couldn't even get anyone to interview her.

I would almost want to interview her just to be the one to clue the poor woman in!!