Escalating Aggression

[Chilly]

I'm new here and have a question/situation for all those providers out there.

My 3 year old daughter is enrolled in a corporate owned daycare center that is well respected and has all its state certifications. She has been there since she was 10 weeks old and we've always loved the director, the facility and the staff and the majority of the parents. One of the children in my daughter's class started exhibiting agressive behaviors last year. He would kick/hit/push/scream and use "bad" words ("stupid", "poopy head", etc). I was told repeatedly that my daughter was one of the few kids that would play with him and because she was so calm, that she had a good effect on him. Fast Forward to a year later, for the last 2 months, my daughter (very verbal) has come home and told us that the little boy has pushed/kicked/hit/held her. If her teachers saw it, they said she would just take it and not fight back. She just cried and screamed.

However, things have now escalated with her. Within the last 3 weeks, whenever she is approached by this little boy - whether he is being agressive or just sitting down next to her, she bites him. She has broken skin and left marks! She never had a biting problem before and it is only with this little boy. His agression has also escalated towards her - he has now drawn blood twice and she comes almost daily with scratches. Other parents have called me because their children have come home telling stories of what happened between the two. I don't often get reports from daycare or they just say "something happened" between them, the teachers didn't see it, it happened so quickly, etc. and ask me to sign a blank form. Last week when I went to pick her up, I was talking to her on her level about a picture she drew and he came over and smacked her across her face for no reason. Luckily, one of the 3 teachers that were there asked me if he hit her and I had to explain to them what happened since they were all talking together and didn't see it. My daughter just wimpered when he did it. The little boy laughed. He was then put in time out and then started crying.

When we've talked to our daughter about the incidents, she tells me that its on the playground, she tells him "No!" and "Leave me alone!" when he comes near here. She says she bites him so she can go in time out and he can't bother her there. She's also said that he is "Scary".

I've spoken with the teachers weekly and have spoken to the director twice. I now have a conference with them all tomorrow. Right now their shadowing both children as much as possible - but with 20 3 year olds in one place and 2 teachers, I feel like the teachers are stretched too thin. Any pointers, suggestions or tips for the conference? Also any suggestions on tools that I can help my daughter navigate this issue with?