I have 2 kids in care that are always coming in stained clothing which is ok for daycare play, painting and all normally but the clothing is unwashed and has an odor. They too have an odor. Hair isn't clean as it should be either. Last Monday I was excited to see a new pair of socks on each of them even though one childs didn't fit at all. Tuesday same socks but now dirty, Wednesday same socks VERY dirty, Thursday the socks are very stinky and literally stuck to the foot when one child tried to pull them off. I don't think the socks have even been removed all week! To make matters worse come Friday the socks that didn't fit (The ankle section was over the heel, the heel was in the arch)were starting to pull apart because the heel was stretching it out so much (ankle section was a loose knit to begin with. I feel I need to say something. I know the family doesnt have much but come on you can still REMOVE the socks and wash them! The outfits were changed a couple times but I don't think they were washed either. It's ok to be poor but there's no reason for a child to not be clean. My question is what do you say or do if anything? Is this a type of neglect that you would report?

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I dont think that there is a law against dirty clothing or dirty kids. However, it does raise a red flag that they are not getting proper hygiene at home. Unless you really see some kind of abuse, losing weight, bruises, I am not sure there is much you can do.

I would maybe go to the goodwill and buy some back up clothing. Put them in it while they are there. If you have time wash the ones that they are wearing and then put them back in them before they go home. Honestly I dont think that the parents will change even if you do say something... This is just from my experience.

I had one famliy that had money, but were just flat out lazy. the mom was a slob. always came with greasy hair, her kids came stinky dirty and also stunk.... I did mention something to them about the smell of cigs on the kids clothing, but she did not say anythign or do anythign about it....

One of the hardest things that I have had to deal with is accepting that not all parents are always going to do what is right for their child and once that child walks out my front door, there is NOTHING that I can do about it....

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Do you have any resources in your area that you can direct them to for assistance? Is there somewhere they can go to good clothing donations or atleast cheap clothing? You could direct them there.
You could also buy a couple of back up outfits for your house and change them when they arrive and when they go home. It would create extra laundry for you, but may make it worth it for your home and health of the other kids in care.

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I think if I were in that situation I would buy some clothes from Goodwill and change them into those outfits when they arrive. Then 10 minutes before pickup time, change them back into their own clothes. Just as previous posters have said. I know I wouldn't want icky dirty clothes and socks all over my carpets and furniture.

If you normally give out gifts for holidays and birthdays; I would give them a cheap new outfit the next time one of those occasions rolls around.

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This is so sad. I have never had this happen at my daycare, but can imagine I would wash the kids and the cloths just bc I couldnt be around kids or clothing that was THAT dirty!

Are the parents also dirty (ie same clothing for days...no shower?) or just the kids?


Have you talked to the parents? Do you think risk of termination would make them step up? You really don't want to become their maid....if you do wash the kids...you run the risk if them stopping all together bc they know you will do it. Tough call.

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I would likely pick up some comfy, cheap clothing for them to wear at my house and launder their clothing for them. I couldn't in good conscience send them home in filthy clothes.

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The parents are kinda dirty as in they don't seem to wash their hair or brush their teeth and they do have an odor as well, but they have on better clothing than the children. The Mother even commented at one point that she had $40 and decided to spend it on herself that day getting some shorts and tank tops because someone would eventually pass some clothing down to her kids. She is fully aware of all the places for assistance but she has "used them all up" as she states. I hand out a full sheet of places with numbers and what they can provide. None were new to her.

I have already bought them 3 outfits for here from Goodwill. I wrote my daycare on them as well so she can't just run off with them should the kids need to wear them home. It's a sad situation and I am doing well handling it here in MY home but wanted to know if it was something that should be reported as a form of neglect. They are fed, I assume as they aren't too thin. They do seem to be developmentally delayed I guess you could say. They can't talk well at all and don't know a single color or shape etc. They are 2 and almost 4. The girl comes with hair in knots not even brushed. I brush it and put it in a pony tail or a clip. The Mom seems upset and gets smart saying "she wont keep it in, she doesn't like it" BUT when I ask the lil girl if she likes it she says yes with a big smile. She has never pulled the clips or scrunchies out here. I have done her hair about 12 times now and never see the clips and such again so I just keep buying them and redoing her hair. I think the DCM is just lazy and doesnt WANT to brush her hair. It makes the lil girl happy and I can literally see her perk up more like she is proud. She will pat her hair to feel it and jump up and down, look in the mirror and laugh. Who wouldn't want to take 5 minutes out of the day to give a child that kind of joy?

BTW I am a registed member I just get worried about people finding out who I am or even worse the clients making the connection so when it's something this bad, incognito I go.

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I was in your current situation about a year ago. I had a 2yo dcg who I had had for about 6 months. The wouldn't describe the mother as neglectful, she was just very, very lazy. The little girl would come unbathed, dressed in clothing that had food stuck to it, dirty socks, greasy hair, sometimes without shoes or a jacket in the wintertime. I got tired of the looks the other parents would give this small two year old when she'd come in looking dirty.

She was my second earliest arrival and I only had an infant at that time so while the baby slept, I'd quickly shower the 2yo, dress her in my extra outfits that smelled wonderfully like fresh laundry, put on a complete fresh outfit (including socks) and I combed and styled her hair like every little girl needs. I'd throw her clothing in with my morning wash of bibs, sheets, towels and such and it became a ritual. During my last diaper change of the day, I'd change the girl back into her clothes and I sent her on her way. The mother never said anything about the magically clean and fresh smelling clothes, and neither did I. One day the little girl went up to mom when pick-up time came and said "Look! (points to shirt that was dirty this morning) Clean!". Her face couldn't have gotten any redder.

That was the last time I washed clothes for that little girl. She came in clean clothing from then on and nobody ever mentioned anything again. I would personally wash the clothes and let your little one use your extras you have on hand. I did what I felt I had to do for the little girl and I wanted her to be clean while in my care. It took barely any more effort and I think I did this little girl a big favor. She was always very appreciative.

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to unregistered...... (sorry forgot to click the box..lol)


i must be really emo today... this made me cry... you are so sweet............Nothing better than seeing the smile on a childs face and knowing that you put it there..............

bless her little heart...

I say just keep with what you are doing, you sound like an amazing provider and these kids are so lucky to have you. So lucky that they get to learn what being clean is. Who knows, they just might become clean freaks after leaving your DC if they are there long enough. As for the mom...........blah thats all I can say. lol

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I am the OP I wanted to update with a question as well.

I tried to inquire about the DCM having a washer and dryer. I asked "I was just wondering do you have a working washer and dryer at home?" She quickly snapped "of course I do why?" eeek I came up with "Oh because mine was giving me problems and I wondered how much it cost to use the laundromat" To which she replies a calm "oh" WHEW! I am not good at lying but that was perfect. I HATE lying/liars so now I have guilt lol.

So now I know she does have a working washer and dryer and just chooses not to wash the kids clothing! (hers are much cleaner) I got fed up today with seeing the coats so filthy and soiled so bad they stink. They have worn them for 2 months and only gotten worse! The one is pastel colors and I thought there's not much I can do with it but I will throw them in the washer with my T-shirts, at least they will smell better. I got the coats out of the washer and OMG the difference!!! Especially the pastel one! It looks new! I put them in the dryer and when they were done I held them up to show the kids that I was giving them back. The dcg ran up and hugged it saying "keen". She kept sniffing it! I didn't think there would be THAT much difference in them! To see that baby girl so happy over a "keen" coat just made me sad and happy at the same time!

So now what do I do when DCM comes? I am worried she is going to take offense or something. They were so soiled I thought for sure they would be stained but I guess my stain remover worked a miracle! So I hope if she has a comment that she just keeps it to herself because I really REALLY can NOT take anymore comments from her about the nice things I do for her kids. I don't want to tell another lie so I hope she doesn't ask why I washed them. I will have to say because they were filthy and children deserve to have clean clothes!

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I have washed coats before and told them I threw them in with mine because the rest of my laundry was done.

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what I usually do in that situation is tell the mom that little Suzy got really messy painting today or outside in the dirt and I washed her jacket , the parents don't et offended and everyones happy,

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