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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need Input for School Paper! Leaving Your Problems At Home.....
daycare 11:15 AM 10-20-2016
Hello everyone.
I'm writing a paper for school about shared emotions and need to reach out to others.
I'm hoping I can get some input on how others deal with this situation.

Most employers ask employees to leave their personal life and problems at home. But how does a provider do this when they work from their home?

Think about how our daily lives impact us and when and how do you manage keeping business only during business hours and not let personal lives get in the way.
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sharlan 03:11 PM 10-20-2016
It's not always possible, but I try to leave my issues at the top of the staircase

I am learning to draw the line between my personal family and daycare . I've always treated daycare as an extension of my family so it's hard. I'm trying to work on the motto "don't ask, don't tell".
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daycare 03:17 PM 10-20-2016
Originally Posted by sharlan:
It's not always possible, but I try to leave my issues at the top of the staircase

I am learning to draw the line between my personal family and daycare . I've always treated daycare as an extension of my family so it's hard. I'm trying to work on the motto "don't ask, don't tell".
AWESOME! I love it.

here are mine: everything ends at my bedroom doorway and always before 7:30am when I open.

I use the phrase: fake it until you make it to get me through my day.....
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Blackcat31 07:00 AM 10-21-2016
Everything for me is black and white.

I keep things in nice tidy little "boxes".

I keep my work life VERY separate from my personal life.

I also have very specific and rigid lines between what my responsibilities are and what my client's responsibilities are in relation to my job as well.

The separation of these things keep me sane, organized, (mostly) stress-free and useful.
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midaycare 07:17 AM 10-21-2016
Depends on the dcf. Some I keep at arms length, and others become friends over time.

For example, I've become quite close to an awesome single dcm whose husband left and hasn't seen the dcb since he was one (he's almost 2). Hubby has become somewhat of a male figure in dcb's life on weekends. We often invite them to do family things with us (works great because dcm also has a dd close to ds's age). Dcm is just an amazing person and we've grown to love her family alot. So in this instance, dcm knows all about us.

Most of my dcf's I keep "in the dark" about everything related to me. It's quite simple, I just don't share anything personal.
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Gemma 10:07 AM 10-21-2016
I wish the parents left "their own" personal life at home
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daycare 10:15 AM 10-21-2016
Originally Posted by Gemma:
I wish the parents left "their own" personal life at home
lol.....you and me both!!
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Ariana 10:45 AM 10-21-2016
First and foremost the clients are not my friends. I don't mind a little small talk but it ends there. I no longer tolerate long chats or gossip. I also have better boundaries for myself and I do what I want when the kid is with me and understand that the parent does what they want when the kid is with them. The only concern for me is the behavior here and whether or not I can handle it. Having a basic understanding that I cannot control everything has helped me a lot!

I had one situation that really bothered me and stressed me out a lot. One thing I learned from that situation is that it is not my job to "save" kids. I can only express concern to parents and hope they get help. If they don't then it is in my best interest to consider a term since I cannot control that situation. I have had to do that twice for developmental delays that the parents were not willing to acknowledge.

Since I started thinking in this way I leave my job at the end of the day and rarely think about it.
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Indoorvoice 12:43 PM 10-21-2016
For me, I see my personal life as being a big part of my work life. My own kids are also dcks so everything that affects me affects them and consequently my daycare. I counteract this by striving to keep both parts of my life as positive as possible. This wasn't always the case! I started by letting all my family friends know that I do in fact work even though I'm home. This means NO drop in visits, no asking favors to watch kids, and no thinking I can drop everything to help. This helped tremendously. I also do not share my personal life or participate in gossip any longer with dcf. I have one family who has crossed over into the "friend zone" but we have a pretty clear line between business and fun. They are extremely respectful of me and not crossing boundaries. Also, I'm extremely strict now about families. The minute I start thinking about or stressing about a family during my off hours,they are gone. This has helped so much keep "work at work" and "home at home". I could have never changed my ways without the support here and being able to chat with my "coworkers" on this board. Last year was the worst of my life dealing with miserable families and in turn making me miserable. I am so unbelievably happy with my job and my family since making these changes.
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Pestle 02:45 PM 10-21-2016
I worked in the service industry for years, then in an office providing designs for clients, then in another office doing account management for trucking customers. What I learned? It's not about me. If I bring my emotions into it, I judge poorly. I perform best when I step outside of myself.

This also keeps my feelings from getting hurt, since I realize that clients are griping about my company's service, not about my own self.

I also learned time management, and how to focus on specific tasks, arranging them by priority, staying flexible when crises arise but still making sure the big picture is in view.

In the day care, I continue to step outside of myself in order to maintain appropriate boundaries, stay true to my early learning philosophy, maintain consistent discipline and avoid getting steamed up, and stay calm about getting covered in poop. (Guess how fast I can fly out of the playroom and rip my pants off? I found out today! It's still not as fast as poop soaks through denim, though.)

Although--to be fair, I'm stone cold and detached with my family, too! It's just my personality.
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Country Kids 10:42 AM 10-24-2016
I keep families so long that its hard for them not to know whats going on sometimes in our life.

My husband works with three of them, 1 is my neice, another one I have had for six years and will have two more (eight years total).

They have been through alot with us even if we don't tell them-2 high school graduations, my son being in the service, my kids growing up in front of them and countless other things.

So for my family personally, its hard for me to keep things from my parents. They will find things out eventually.
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