I recently came home from work to find that my wife had packed up her belongings and taking my children an hour and a half away and moved into one of her father's condos. I'm asking for 50/50 custody. Is it unreasonable for me to think that the kids will be fine in daycare for a week with me and in daycare for a week in a different school near her home? I want to see them as much as possible but at the same time I don't want it to be confusing for them. Would any of you be able to tell me how the multiple day cares worked out for you and your little ones? Do you think my children will be ok with this arrangement? My son is almost 2.5 years and my daughter will be 1 next week. Thanks for the input. I know this is an old thread but I can't start a new one yet and this one is directly related to my question. Thanks.

Reply

I forgot to mention that I would be placing them in KinderCare which is the same daycare they are in near her home now so that they will be following the same curriculum and have the same rules and expectations since it is a franchise. I've already spoken with the director and she feels like it won't be a problem.

Reply

It honestly depends on many variables. Expect it to be bumpy at first until it becomes their 'new normal'. They are going through a major life change.

I had a child (at age 3) do this due to a custody situation. She did not do well at all. We saw lots of regression and acting out. She was a timid, sensitive child and the instability of the situation was too much for her. What worked best for her was M-F with one parent, weekends with the other.

Franchise centers aren't all the same- it depends greatly on the staff in their rooms as to how they are run.

Good luck!

Reply

It may be the same curriculum but different people and kids every other week. At those ages, they need to feel security and bonding with their caregivers. Kids can be resilient so they could be just fine. I wonder if a lawyer would have any advice, such as preventing her from moving so far away? I know it's only 1 1/2 hours but....
Good luck to you and your family. Your little ones are adorable!

Reply

Thanks for the responses. I can't do anything about how far she moved because she is still in the state. She says she's going to move back to this area but I don't really buy it. I was thinking about asking her if we could put them in a daycare halfway between us but that would be a lot of driving and I doubt she'd consent.

Reply

What if they came to you Thursday night and returned to their mother Sunday night. You could use a nanny or friend or relative on Fridays. It might be less traumatic than two separate child care centers. Less expensive than paying full time at two centers for two children too.

Reply