Biting policy

[Msdunny]

Would you guys mind sharing your biting policy with me? I haven't had this problem before, but my 3 yo dcg just bit a chunk of my other 3 yo dcg shoulder. I haven't had this happen before - no biters here. But this 3 yo has been getting a bit more aggressive over the last couple of weeks, and I want to get on top of this now.

I will be sharing with both moms what happened today, and have taken a picture of the bite marks.

[TwinKristi]

Is this biting 3yo a good talker? What caused the incident to begin with? What other increasingly aggressive behaviors have they had?

My personal biting experience was with my own DS at about 18mos. It was mainly 1 child but at times 2, I really had to do my best to shadow him and keep him with me at all times and be firm with NO biting! And had him sit in time out. Eliminate the times when he could bite. He hasn't bit in a LONG time now and uses his words more.
Some providers just don't want the liability/risk and have a 3 strikes rule. Some have a zero tolerance rule. I couldn't term my own baby and couldn't shut down shop and we got it under control. I was fortunate to have understanding DCPs and it wasn't really an issue.

[Msdunny]

She is an excellent talker - the youngest of 4 siblings, but her mom even calls her a bully. I've not had this problem here before because all the others will do what she tells them to. The girl that was bit is essentially the same age and won't back down. One day this week the 'bitee' knocked down some blocks they were both building with and I caught the 'biter' just before she tackled her to the floor (aggravated expression and then launched at her, putting her arms around her neck). I called her name and she immediately stopped.

In this instance, they both wanted to sit on a bean bag chair. There is plenty of room for both, but the 'biter' didn't want her there. She has had no problems in the past letting me know what is bothering her.

My issue within is this - the dcg that was bit has only been here for a month. I will explain to her parents what happened, but I want a plan in place to deal with this. The biter's mom is very likely to make light of this, and I want to be pro-active rather than re-active, kwim?

[TwinKristi]

Absolutely!! I felt awful when my DS bit and surely didn't make light of it. He never broke skin but got close. I understand your worry about the new family and wanting to have a plan in place. If she's a bully in general she may need a harsh punishment to get this point across. Also be up front with the victim's family that you haven't had to deal with this before and want to ensure their child's safety and well-being but will devise a strategy to deal with this!
Good luck! At 3.5 I think that's old enough to know better and probably a firm discussion will help everyone. As the "youngest" sibling she probably gets a lot of excuses for her behavior at home. My youngest before the baby wasn't a biter but he definitely has a very spoiled personality!

[Msdunny]

Originally Posted by TwinKristi

Absolutely!! I felt awful when my DS bit and surely didn't make light of it. He never broke skin but got close. I understand your worry about the new family and wanting to have a plan in place. If she's a bully in general she may need a harsh punishment to get this point across. Also be up front with the victim's family that you haven't had to deal with this before and want to ensure their child's safety and well-being but will devise a strategy to deal with this!
Good luck! At 3.5 I think that's old enough to know better and probably a firm discussion will help everyone. As the "youngest" sibling she probably gets a lot of excuses for her behavior at home. My youngest before the baby wasn't a biter but he definitely has a very spoiled personality!

That's my thinking...3 (almost 4) is a bit old to be biting simply out of frustration. I completely understand it in non-verbal littles, but this is a new one for me!