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Wildchild 08:59 PM 11-15-2017
I have a 4 year old who I have had in my care for over a year now. He recently started hurting my animals. The abuse seems very intentional and I have had many conversations with his parents about it. I am extremely concerned because he shows no remorse about hurting the animals. He thinks time outs are funny and I am at a loss of what to do at this point. I care for this kid and his family, but I'm about to kick him out. Anyone have a similar situation or advice?
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Josiegirl 02:06 AM 11-16-2017
Is there any way you can keep the animals away from him? Aside from that, I think I'd have to let him go. I do not tolerate hurting of animals, at all. Not knowing what kind of animals you have, you're also running the risk of him getting hurt back. Then you could be in a world of trouble.

Do you think he'd respond to some lessons on how to treat animals, how to take care of them, help feeding/grooming/cleaning them? I know I have my dcks help brush my dogs, or feed them biscuits, get them to do tricks(the dogs, not the kids ), show them how much the dogs love them and depend on us to take good care of them.

I used to have a bunny in my dc many years ago; most of the dcks loved it. Would feed him clover and carrots, watch him hop around the backyard or the house. But I remember 1 dcb who used to find things to poke at him. Never ever could bond with that child
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Cat Herder 05:39 AM 11-16-2017
Keep him away from your pets.

Document.

Refer for assessment.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4212826/
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Ladybugs 06:09 AM 11-16-2017
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Keep him away from your pets.

Document.

Refer for assessment.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4212826/
Totally agree. Hurting animals when hes old enough to know better is a massive red flag. He might need serious psychological help.

Id also term him for it; a child who hurts animals can be unpredictable. Id hate for him to go on to hurting other children. You MUST keep him from the animals; it is your duty to protect those animals.

This is a tough situation and Im sorry youre experiencing this.
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Wildchild 07:38 AM 11-16-2017
Thanks for the support and advice. This kid has been with me for awhile and has been around my animals a very long time with no issues. It's just started since he has returned from a 3 month vacation. BTW, I have 3 dogs, 12 chickens and a cat and all the other kids are wonderful with them.
I plan on terming him today when the parents come to pick him up. It will be a very sad day for everyone, but I can't risk it and I am not able to help this child the way he needs to be helped. Yuck
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daycarediva 09:37 AM 11-16-2017
Originally Posted by Wildchild:
Thanks for the support and advice. This kid has been with me for awhile and has been around my animals a very long time with no issues. It's just started since he has returned from a 3 month vacation. BTW, I have 3 dogs, 12 chickens and a cat and all the other kids are wonderful with them.
I plan on terming him today when the parents come to pick him up. It will be a very sad day for everyone, but I can't risk it and I am not able to help this child the way he needs to be helped. Yuck
No way would I allow a child to hurt my pets. I agree with letting him go, especially if you don't separate pets/children anyway. Why punish your pets/other kids in care for the actions of one child. I also could NOT trust him after knowing he was intentionally cruel.
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HappyEverAfter 09:59 PM 11-16-2017
I saw a documentary once that said most serial killers started out by hurting animals as children. After animals came hurting other small children. Send this kid for a psychiatric evaluation and get him out of your home ASAP.
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Wildchild 08:49 PM 11-26-2017
Update:
I have removed the child from my daycare, and the parents were totally shocked. Even after multiple discussions about his behavior! LOTS of tears and denial. I told them he is welcome to return, but only with a child psychologist shadowing him! I don't think they will go for it as they really don't believe their child did the things he did here. Apparently, according the them, this behavior only happens here...Whatever. They have often referred to their parenting technique as "hands off" so that may have something to do with it. Poor little guy, I will worry about him for a very long time!
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CeriBear 04:35 AM 11-27-2017
I think you made the right decision to term this child. Animal abuse is not to be tolerated.
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Blackcat31 06:28 AM 11-27-2017
Originally Posted by Wildchild:
Update:
I have removed the child from my daycare, and the parents were totally shocked. Even after multiple discussions about his behavior! LOTS of tears and denial. I told them he is welcome to return, but only with a child psychologist shadowing him! I don't think they will go for it as they really don't believe their child did the things he did here. Apparently, according the them, this behavior only happens here...Whatever. They have often referred to their parenting technique as "hands off" so that may have something to do with it. Poor little guy, I will worry about him for a very long time!
For future reference, any time you have a behavior that warrants speaking with the parents and the behavior is serious (such as this) I would document it.

Have the parents sign off and date that you had the discussion so that you have proof if you should ever need it.

Documenting these types of things will go a long way in protecting you when good families turn bad.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this situation at all. You made the right decision in terminating his care.
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daycarediva 03:21 AM 11-28-2017
They were shocked because they did not expect you to actually DO anything about it.

Was he around animals at home? I have a dcg/under 2 who pulls my dogs/cats tails like a leash. I mentioned it to parents after trying (unsuccessfully) to get her to stop. Parents say "Oh yeah she does that to Oscar all the time at home" (Her dog) and I stood there shocked! Anyway, after mentioning how potentially dangerous that is to DCG (do that to a strange dog and she could be bit) and how much it must HURT their (small, under 5 lbs) dog, they stepped up. Now she's wonderful when around any animals.
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Tags:abusing animals, child abuse recognition, violence in child care
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