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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Is This Normal for Her Age?
gumdrops 06:18 AM 01-20-2021
I have a mean 15mo. She is constantly hitting kids (and me) for no reason, sits on them, etc. She pulls her sisters hair all the time. If she gets mad, she'll yank a toy out of the bin and it will smack whoever is sitting behind her. If she is told no, she will scream and throw a fit.

She's getting to the age that I need to start getting rid of her morning nap, but I seriously cannot image not having that down time.

I need to tell DCM, but this DCM does not handle constructive criticism well. Her kids are perfect! DCG is the youngest and her siblings are slightly older, so I think at home her hitting etc. is overlooked as cute. Just want to make sure this behavior is not "normal" for her age. I don't recall having these kind of issues with any other kids.

This is how the family operates: A few weeks ago, big sis 4, was mad at drop off and was screaming at DCM and kicked and hit her. DCM said "I know you're upset, I'm sorry, we'll remember your cup tomorrow."
Gemma 06:56 AM 01-20-2021
Hitting is not acceptable at any age, and must be corrected.

If that was me, I would discuss the issue with mom and explain how I would handle it on my end, I would without a doubt terminate, if mom doesn't show to be in alignment with me
Snowmom 07:20 AM 01-20-2021

She hit her mom and that was acceptable?

I think I'd be having a conversation with mom. I expect all the families I accept into my program to be role models for ALL the other children here. Hitting is never acceptable. No matter what the age. Mom needs to be told that and agree to it or she wouldn't have care.
I don't get this age of "I want them to like me, so I never say NO."

As far as the other little: if you keep them, I would keep her separate until she learns to play nice. Here, that means a play yard separates her play area and only soft toys.
The screaming- well, most kids outgrow that. BUT if mom is enabling it, then it won't change. So, that's a matter of how much are you willing to put up with?
InTheNest 11:53 AM 01-20-2021
As others have said, no, her hitting is not normal.

What to do? When the kids are in my area, and they do something not acceptable, I call them out, just like any other time they do something not acceptable. She kicked her mom? "DCG, kicking is not OK. If you are angry, say 'I am angry" but we never hit someone when we feel angry". Mom will either get the hint or be upset that you corrected her child in front of her. If it's the latter, they need to be gone.

You might have a parent that needs modelling. You might have a kid that gets overstimulated. Whatever it is, your consistency when handling the situation every time will sink in.

Myself, I'd try again with mom and keep correcting the behavior. If it doesn't change after a period of time that you feel comfortable with, terminate. You will find someone to fill that spot. Someone who doesn't make you dread opening the door in the morning.
Jo123ABC 12:43 PM 01-21-2021
Nope! It's okay to say "NO". I teach all of my kids that right away. They are even allowed to say "no" to the babies. They don't have to take getting hit or having their hair pulled. I would separate with large penned off area and slowly allow the child to play with the group. The second the child hits/hurts somebody or has noticable intentions of doing so...back to their own play area. They'd get it eventually or I'd term.
Tags:15 month old, 4 year old, hitting in daycare, permissive parenting, sibling interaction, violence in child care
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