Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>So Angry
msblake 03:01 PM 09-12-2013
I am new to this forum and just registered because I am about to blow!
I'm going to apologize ahead of time because I am fuming! DCM lost her job and brings 4 year old dcb only 2 days a week until she finds a new job. Today he was acting out all day. As soon as my DD got home he started harassing, teasing and hitting her. I sent my daughter upstairs to play so they could have time away and mom was going to be here in 15 minutes. Dcb cried because he wanted to go upstairs and I said no. Mom and 10 year old sister get here and he has a meltdown. Then my new dc dad comes to pick up the baby. Talking to him over screaming child. Then the sister goes upstairs. I told her no and she didn't listen, then the boy goes upstairs again I told him no. Mom sits there and does nothing. Talk to new parent for a few minutes when the MOM goes upstairs! I told new parent I'm sorry but I have to go deal with this. Go upstairs and they are ALL IN MY ROOM! The sister and dcb jumping on MY bed!!! The one I just purchased with muddy shoes! Mom acts like it is no big deal. I have never been so livid!
I'm going to apologize ahead of time because I am fuming! DCM lost her job and brings 4 year old dcb only 2 days a week until she finds a new job. Today he was acting out all day. As soon as my DD got home he started harassing, teasing and hitting her. I sent my daughter upstairs to play so they could have time away and mom was going to be here in 15 minutes. Dcb cried because he wanted to go upstairs and I said no. Mom and 10 year old sister get here and he has a meltdown. Then my new dc dad comes to pick up the baby. Talking to him over screaming child. Then the sister goes upstairs. I told her no and she didn't listen, then the boy goes upstairs again I told him no. Mom sits there and does nothing. Talk to new parent for a few minutes when the MOM goes upstairs! I told new parent I'm sorry but I have to go deal with this. Go upstairs and they are ALL IN MY ROOM! The sister and dcb jumping on MY bed!!! The one I just purchased with muddy shoes! Mom acts like it is no big deal. I have never been so livid!
Heidi 03:03 PM 09-12-2013
That would earn someone a fast ticket out of here!
You have every right to be pissed. Welcome to the forum!
You have every right to be pissed. Welcome to the forum!
Familycare71 03:08 PM 09-12-2013
WOW!!!! How did you respond? I think I would be having a talk with mom ASAP- unless you can term! It amazes me how little regard dcf have for our space!!
Welcome!!!
msblake 03:14 PM 09-12-2013
I told them children are not allowed in our bedroom and to go downstairs! The mom then said well of course you allow children in your room. I said my children are allowed in my room because they are MY children!! Just because I run a in home daycare does not mean that children and parents can go where ever they want! I need time to cool off then I am going to term them. I have had soooo many issues with this family over the last year but this is my last straw!
Familycare71 03:19 PM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by msblake:
I told them children are not allowed in our bedroom and to go downstairs! The mom then said well of course you allow children in your room. I said my children are allowed in my room because they are MY children!! Just because I run a in home daycare does not mean that children and parents can go where ever they want! I need time to cool off then I am going to term them. I have had soooo many issues with this family over the last year but this is my last straw!
And she will be the parent who is completely confused why they were termed! I told them children are not allowed in our bedroom and to go downstairs! The mom then said well of course you allow children in your room. I said my children are allowed in my room because they are MY children!! Just because I run a in home daycare does not mean that children and parents can go where ever they want! I need time to cool off then I am going to term them. I have had soooo many issues with this family over the last year but this is my last straw!
I am proud of you for holding your tongue!! I don't know if I could have- esp after her snarky comment back!
msblake 03:22 PM 09-12-2013
It was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do! I knew if I said anything I would loose my cool.
Michael 03:30 PM 09-12-2013
Welcome to the forum!
Leigh 03:30 PM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by msblake:
I told them children are not allowed in our bedroom and to go downstairs! The mom then said well of course you allow children in your room. I said my children are allowed in my room because they are MY children!! Just because I run a in home daycare does not mean that children and parents can go where ever they want! I need time to cool off then I am going to term them. I have had soooo many issues with this family over the last year but this is my last straw!
I would not have termed over mom and the kids being in my room (DCK's are not allowed in my room, either). I would have just freaked out on Mom about it. I would DEFINITELY term over the "back talk" from Mom about "of course you allow children in your room". I am quite certain I would have just told her to get out of my house and not come back.I told them children are not allowed in our bedroom and to go downstairs! The mom then said well of course you allow children in your room. I said my children are allowed in my room because they are MY children!! Just because I run a in home daycare does not mean that children and parents can go where ever they want! I need time to cool off then I am going to term them. I have had soooo many issues with this family over the last year but this is my last straw!
**I** am practically fuming over the TOTAL disrespect that you, a stranger, got about this situation. I can just not imagine what kind of an idiot that Mom is to fight with you over the rules of YOUR home! Best of luck to you with this situation.
msblake 03:57 PM 09-12-2013
If this had been the first issue I had with this family then I may have let it slide. But this is just the cherry on top! The past year it has been one thing after another. Earlier this week her child dumped laundry detergent all over my driveway. Not on accident completely on purpose. This was at pick up time I had said good bye and shut the door. I didn't find out about it until my husband got home (he was the last kid) mom didn't come tell me, didn't clean it up just left. So I spent a good hour cleaning it up. The child I can handle but it is just the complete disrespect of the mother, never disciplines her children. Which becomes very apparent when she and the sister are around. I'm just fed up. Last straw! Thank you for your compassion. I really need it right now! I have never felt do disrespected in my life.
sharlan 04:04 PM 09-12-2013
I have a gate across the base of the staircase.
None of my daycare parents have ever been upstairs. None of the kids have been upstairs. I would have been yelling at the mom and not very politely, either.
None of my daycare parents have ever been upstairs. None of the kids have been upstairs. I would have been yelling at the mom and not very politely, either.
msblake 04:10 PM 09-12-2013
I have a gate across the bottom of the stairs. But that didn't stop them. It's pretty easy to open for the older kids. Just keeps the babies off the stairs. I recently had to replace it because the older sister broke the last one.
e.j. 04:12 PM 09-12-2013
Wow! Talk about lack of respect for you and your home. I've never had anyone go into my bedroom and jump on my bed but I have had kids and parents try to see what my 2nd floor looks like. I now cover th e subject in all initial interviews. I explain that I deliberately choose not to license my 2nd floor because while my family is good about sharing most of our home with my dc clients, they need their own personal space, too. Since it's not a licensed area, they are not allowed up there for any reason. Since I started addressing the issue directly, I've had fewer problems.
Talk about lack of respect for you and your home. I've never had anyone go into my bedroom and jump on my bed but I have had kids and parents try to see what my 2nd floor looks like. I now cover th e subject in all initial interviews. I explain that I deliberately choose not to license my 2nd floor because while my family is good about sharing most of our home with my dc clients, they need their own personal space, too. Since it's not a licensed area, they are not allowed up there for any reason. Since I started addressing the issue directly, I've had fewer problems.
sharlan 04:49 PM 09-12-2013
Time to term and send them on their way. Let someone else deal with them.
WImom 05:00 PM 09-12-2013
WOW I don't think I would have been able to hold my tongue! Acutally after the driveway incident I think I would have termed. Doesn't surprise me that mom has no job! Good Luck with terming, it's hard no matter the reason!!
I don't think I would have been able to hold my tongue! Acutally after the driveway incident I think I would have termed. Doesn't surprise me that mom has no job! Good Luck with terming, it's hard no matter the reason!!
Unregistered 05:24 PM 09-12-2013
Non enrolled children / siblings are not allowed past the entrance here, for the same reason they they go crazy and parent don't care
msblake 06:02 PM 09-12-2013
I keep going back and forth on how I should word it/talk to her tomorrow. What are your suggestions?
Sugar Magnolia 06:23 PM 09-12-2013
"Hey Sally, about yesterday..... I need to let you know that none of my clients are allowed upstairs at any time, for any reason. This is absolutely non negotiable. I will not be able to keep you as a client if this policy is violated by yourself or your children, effective immediately."
Or "Hey Sally, about yesterday.....your intrusion into my personal living space was totally unacceptable, and I am terminating care, effective in two weeks. I cannot debate this decision with you, my decision is final. "
Don't pose any questions, two sentence statement, and turn and walk away. It's not open to debate, so don't let her try to "discuss" it with
you.
WELCOME !
Or "Hey Sally, about yesterday.....your intrusion into my personal living space was totally unacceptable, and I am terminating care, effective in two weeks. I cannot debate this decision with you, my decision is final. "
Don't pose any questions, two sentence statement, and turn and walk away. It's not open to debate, so don't let her try to "discuss" it with
you.
WELCOME !
Laurel 06:44 PM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by msblake:
I keep going back and forth on how I should word it/talk to her tomorrow. What are your suggestions?
How about: "I will no longer be watching your child because of incidents like the jumping on my bed and not cleaning up the spilled laundry detergent. These kinds of behaviors are unacceptable and I no longer want this kind of behavior at my house."I keep going back and forth on how I should word it/talk to her tomorrow. What are your suggestions?
Welcome to the forum!
Laurel
MamaBear 08:27 PM 09-12-2013
UGH! Things like this make me sooo mad! No appreciation that it is YOUR home... Grrrr... I feel your pain! 
Tay 08:54 PM 09-12-2013
Just breath, I know its hard and I would be upset too. Tomorrow go over things with mom that you tolerate and will not tolerate in your daycare. Give her a warning so she is not totally clueless as to what went wrong when you do decide enough is enough and termed them. Best of luck! <hugs>
SSWonders 10:23 PM 09-12-2013
Reminds me of the time I had a dcd come into my bedroom looking for me in the morning because I wasn't in the playroom when he arrived 5 minutes early. I told him not to come into my room again because he might see something he would wish he hadn't.
Rockgirl 05:42 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by SSWonders:
Reminds me of the time I had a dcd come into my bedroom looking for me in the morning because I wasn't in the playroom when he arrived 5 minutes early. I told him not to come into my room again because he might see something he would wish he hadn't.
Reminds me of the time I had a dcd come into my bedroom looking for me in the morning because I wasn't in the playroom when he arrived 5 minutes early. I told him not to come into my room again because he might see something he would wish he hadn't.
Omg--I can't even imagine! Some people have no concept of boundaries.
countrymom 06:16 AM 09-13-2013
I would have no problems terming that family.
Brooksie 08:39 AM 09-13-2013
I would have termed immediately and told them to get out of my house immediately and do not expect to be coming back.
Blackcat31 09:16 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
"Hey Sally, about yesterday..... I need to let you know that none of my clients are allowed upstairs at any time, for any reason. This is absolutely non negotiable. I will not be able to keep you as a client if this policy is violated by yourself or your children, effective immediately."
Or "Hey Sally, about yesterday.....your intrusion into my personal living space was totally unacceptable, and I am terminating care, effective in two weeks. I cannot debate this decision with you, my decision is final. "
Don't pose any questions, two sentence statement, and turn and walk away. It's not open to debate, so don't let her try to "discuss" it with
you.
WELCOME !
"Hey Sally, about yesterday..... I need to let you know that none of my clients are allowed upstairs at any time, for any reason. This is absolutely non negotiable. I will not be able to keep you as a client if this policy is violated by yourself or your children, effective immediately."
Or "Hey Sally, about yesterday.....your intrusion into my personal living space was totally unacceptable, and I am terminating care, effective in two weeks. I cannot debate this decision with you, my decision is final. "
Don't pose any questions, two sentence statement, and turn and walk away. It's not open to debate, so don't let her try to "discuss" it with
you.
WELCOME !
to this advice ^^^ to the bolded part.
msblake 09:28 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
to this advice ^^^
to the bolded part.
to this advice ^^^ to the bolded part.I will do it this way. I am so nervous!!! She will be coming shortly. I would like to do it over the phone but I'm afraid if I do that she will skip out on payment.
Rockgirl 09:46 AM 09-13-2013
Good luck! Please let us know how it goes.
daycarediva 09:56 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
I would have termed immediately and told them to get out of my house immediately and do not expect to be coming back.
I would have done the same. NO respect, NO services, don't let the door hit ya.... I would have termed immediately and told them to get out of my house immediately and do not expect to be coming back.
Blackcat31 10:06 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by msblake:
I will do it this way. I am so nervous!!! She will be coming shortly. I would like to do it over the phone but I'm afraid if I do that she will skip out on payment.
Do you have parents pre-pay for services or pay after services?I will do it this way. I am so nervous!!! She will be coming shortly. I would like to do it over the phone but I'm afraid if I do that she will skip out on payment.
If she does skip out on payment, there are options for pursuing it if you have a signed contract outlining situations like this.
Hang in there...you can do it! We've got your back....
Keep us posted as to how it goes.
msblake 10:14 AM 09-13-2013
All my families pre pay. But since she lost her job, her unemployment doesn't come until the end of the week. So I adjusted her pay day until she got a job. It's only for 2 days but still not going to let it go.
Josiegirl 11:35 AM 09-13-2013
OMG complete lack of respect for your rules, your home, everything. I have something written in my handbook and policies saying disrespecting my home, property, my rules, is grounds for immediate termination at my discretion. Good luck with the dcm, please let us know how it goes. Take our strength with you when you tell her.
MotherNature 11:40 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I would not have termed over mom and the kids being in my room (DCK's are not allowed in my room, either). I would have just freaked out on Mom about it. I would DEFINITELY term over the "back talk" from Mom about "of course you allow children in your room". I am quite certain I would have just told her to get out of my house and not come back.
**I** am practically fuming over the TOTAL disrespect that you, a stranger, got about this situation. I can just not imagine what kind of an idiot that Mom is to fight with you over the rules of YOUR home! Best of luck to you with this situation.
agreed. I can't believe she got sassy with you. I would have been so embarrassed..asked if I could dry clean them, etc...Welcome to the forum!I would not have termed over mom and the kids being in my room (DCK's are not allowed in my room, either). I would have just freaked out on Mom about it. I would DEFINITELY term over the "back talk" from Mom about "of course you allow children in your room". I am quite certain I would have just told her to get out of my house and not come back.
**I** am practically fuming over the TOTAL disrespect that you, a stranger, got about this situation. I can just not imagine what kind of an idiot that Mom is to fight with you over the rules of YOUR home! Best of luck to you with this situation.
EntropyControlSpecialist 02:32 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by MotherNature:
agreed. I can't believe she got sassy with you. I would have been so embarrassed..asked if I could dry clean them, etc...Welcome to the forum!
Ditto! agreed. I can't believe she got sassy with you. I would have been so embarrassed..asked if I could dry clean them, etc...Welcome to the forum!
Maria2013 04:59 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by msblake:
I am going to term them. I have had soooo many issues with this family over the last year but this is my last straw!
I am going to term them. I have had soooo many issues with this family over the last year but this is my last straw!
Starburst 05:10 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by msblake:
I am new to this forum and just registered because I am about to blow!
I'm going to apologize ahead of time because I am fuming! DCM lost her job and brings 4 year old dcb only 2 days a week until she finds a new job. Today he was acting out all day. As soon as my DD got home he started harassing, teasing and hitting her. I sent my daughter upstairs to play so they could have time away and mom was going to be here in 15 minutes. Dcb cried because he wanted to go upstairs and I said no. Mom and 10 year old sister get here and he has a meltdown. Then my new dc dad comes to pick up the baby. Talking to him over screaming child. Then the sister goes upstairs. I told her no and she didn't listen, then the boy goes upstairs again I told him no. Mom sits there and does nothing. Talk to new parent for a few minutes when the MOM goes upstairs! I told new parent I'm sorry but I have to go deal with this. Go upstairs and they are ALL IN MY ROOM! The sister and dcb jumping on MY bed!!! The one I just purchased with muddy shoes! Mom acts like it is no big deal. I have never been so livid!
That is not only irresponsible on her side, but disrespectful as well. You have every right to be upset. If you didn't term them I would definitely put them on an immediate "1 strike and you're out" probation! If the sister isn't in your program you should also tell mom that the sister is not allowed past the front door (you can also say it has to do with your insurance not covering non-enrolled children) and for now on make sure DCB is ready to leave right away.I am new to this forum and just registered because I am about to blow!
I'm going to apologize ahead of time because I am fuming! DCM lost her job and brings 4 year old dcb only 2 days a week until she finds a new job. Today he was acting out all day. As soon as my DD got home he started harassing, teasing and hitting her. I sent my daughter upstairs to play so they could have time away and mom was going to be here in 15 minutes. Dcb cried because he wanted to go upstairs and I said no. Mom and 10 year old sister get here and he has a meltdown. Then my new dc dad comes to pick up the baby. Talking to him over screaming child. Then the sister goes upstairs. I told her no and she didn't listen, then the boy goes upstairs again I told him no. Mom sits there and does nothing. Talk to new parent for a few minutes when the MOM goes upstairs! I told new parent I'm sorry but I have to go deal with this. Go upstairs and they are ALL IN MY ROOM! The sister and dcb jumping on MY bed!!! The one I just purchased with muddy shoes! Mom acts like it is no big deal. I have never been so livid!
msblake 06:00 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
That is not only irresponsible on her side, but disrespectful as well. You have every right to be upset. If you didn't term them I would definitely put them on an immediate "1 strike and you're out" probation! If the sister isn't in your program you should also tell mom that the sister is not allowed past the front door (you can also say it has to do with your insurance not covering non-enrolled children) and for now on make sure DCB is ready to leave right away.
That is not only irresponsible on her side, but disrespectful as well. You have every right to be upset. If you didn't term them I would definitely put them on an immediate "1 strike and you're out" probation! If the sister isn't in your program you should also tell mom that the sister is not allowed past the front door (you can also say it has to do with your insurance not covering non-enrolled children) and for now on make sure DCB is ready to leave right away.
I am going to terminate the family. I was going to do it today when she dropped off the payment but she never showed. I checked my mailbox and there the payment was. So I think she knows that I am going to terminate.
Familycare71 06:23 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by msblake:
I am going to terminate the family. I was going to do it today when she dropped off the payment but she never showed. I checked my mailbox and there the payment was. So I think she knows that I am going to terminate.
Now you can do it by phone and follow up with a letterI am going to terminate the family. I was going to do it today when she dropped off the payment but she never showed. I checked my mailbox and there the payment was. So I think she knows that I am going to terminate.
.
Maria2013 06:29 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Familycare71:
Now you can do it by phone and follow up with a letter.
Now you can do it by phone and follow up with a letter
.