Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Tips for Provider Burn Out
Blackcat31 12:46 PM 11-06-2013
It was suggested that we "sticky" this great information for those that need it to find it easily and it is VERY useful and really important information.
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I do have a lot of great info on Provider Burnout to share, though.... Know you are not alone.
PROVIDER BURNOUT
In a study conducted at the University of Maryland, by Susan Walker, PhD, in-home family daycare providers were proven to be particularly prone to personal stress. The factors that they stated contributed to this were: long hours (average of 60 hours a week), low pay (an average of $15,000 a year), and the low value of their job to the public despite the huge need for care. All of these factors deem daycare providers at high risk for burnout.
There are three stages of burnout:
1. Stress Arousal Stage Persistent irritability and anxiety
Bruxism and/or Insomnia
Occasional forgetfulness and/or inability to concentrate
2. Stress Resistance Stage Absenteeism or tardiness for work
Tired and fatigued for no reason
Procrastination and indecision
Social withdrawal with cynicism
Resentful, indifferent, defiant
Increased use of coffee, alcohol, tobacco, etc.
3. Severe Exhaustion Stage Chronic sadness or depression
Chronic mental and physical fatigue
Chronic stress related illnesses (headache, stomach ache, bowel problems, etc.)
So how do you know if you or a loved one is suffering from burnout?
Here are the early warning signs.
Chronic fatigue - exhaustion, tiredness, a sense of being physically run down
Anger at those making demands
Self-criticism for putting up with the demands
Cynicism, negativity, and irritability
A sense of being besieged
Exploding easily at seemingly inconsequential things
Frequent headaches and gastrointestinal disturbance
Weight loss or gain
Sleeplessness and depression
Shortness of breath
Suspiciousness
Feelings of helplessness
Increased degree of risk taking
Isolation, withdrawal, self-destructive thoughts
What do you do if you are suffering from burnout?
Take a break!!! Get a massage, meditate, hide, stare at a wall...get away!
Ask for love ones to lighten the load and help with your responsibilities.
Simplify your life. What can you take out?
Relax and nurture yourself.
Seek professional help if it gets severe.
Reduce your stress!!!
STRESS
Know thy enemy...
Studies has proven that in-home daycare providers are more prone to stress than the average bear.
Yet there are little or no resources to daycare providers for reducing and managing stress.
Why is this? We can only suppose that everyone is too stressed out to do anything about it!
In a study of providers in Maryland:
37% of providers rated themselves as experiencing very high
or somewhat high levels of stress in the past month
54.5% had effects on health behaviors
51.7% enjoy their job less than typical population
35% report feeling bad physically
33.6% experienced strong moods
WHAT IS STRESS?
Stress is the excitement, feeling of anxiety and/or physical tension that occurs when
demands placed on an individual exceed his or her ability to cope.
We need stress in many ways. It helps us to survive, it is our fight or flight response.
It helps us to cross the street, move out of the way when something is thrown at us, be frightened
when somebody yells “boo”. We want to stay out of the way of danger so our body physically
responds to surprises so we don’t kill ourselves and we fear things.
Stress response: When challenged, the body undergoes a progressive series of responses that are first triggered by an external stimulus termed the stressor. The more prolonged and accelerating reactions produce an intense and severe disruption called strain. All of this moves the body away from homeostasis, the maintenance of equilibrium of the internal body functions in response to external changes.
WHAT CAUSES STRESS?
Psychological causes
Life changes--events, circumstances or perceptions
Overload--too much to do, not enough time to do it
Insufficient resources--not enough money or time
Frustration--lack of happiness or fulfillment
Trauma or loss--death of a close friend or relative
External causes
Occupation
Environmental strain (noise, temperature, etc.)
Substance abuse (alcohol/drugs)
Nutritional excesses (caffeine, sugar)
Nutritional deficiencies (vitamins or nutrients)
Personality causes
Self-perception
Anxious reactivity, hypervigilance, worry
Need for control,
Time urgency
Anger or hostility
Major sources of stress in daycare include:
conflicts with parents
role conflict
not being able to balance work and family
fairness in housework
feeling overloaded
not having enough time for family activities
not enough time with family
not enough money
conflict with their own family
not having enough children in their daycare
Other things that effect our stress:
Poor resource management: Time and money are precious and limited resources. Wasting either of these creates serious tension and stress. Unwillingness to delegate or let go of control also increases stress.
Personal relationships: Romance and love are exciting eustress experiences while conflict, jealousy and resentment are common distresses when a relationship breaks down.
Self-perception: Low self-esteem and self-confidence together with the absence of feeling connected or empowered, can all precipitate stress reactions. Taken to excess (self-confidence) these can lead to egoism and cockiness which will cause different stress reactions.
Beliefs and attitudes: Family scripts like "A penny saved is a penny earned," "A job worth doing is worth doing well" can cause undue stress and force the person to live up to an unrealistic image.
WHAT ARE POSSIBLE EFFECTS OF STRESS ON THE BODY?
muscle tightness and tension
decreased immunity, increased sickness
aches/pains in back and neck
fatigue and lack of energy
headaches, migraines
digestive problems
depression and/or anxiety
decreased ability of movement
accelerated aging
These can lead to: high blood pressure; restricted movement;
ulcers; heart attack; cancer; stroke; etc.
WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT OUR STRESS?
Simplify your life
Avoid over-commitment and over-responsibility
Learn how to say "NO".
Delegate your duties, have others help you.
Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep
Relax and breathe
Take some time for you everyday
REDUCING STRESS
"It's not what happens to you in life that matters,
it's how you react to what happens to you that counts."
4 areas that you can reduce stress in your daycare business:
1. Daycare environment-
How is your daycare set up? Is it cluttered? Are toys and activities easily accessible? Is it bright and cheery or dark and dreary? What colors are the basic colors of the room? Does the area provide space to relax or is it constantly high energy? Did you know that you can use color and scents to induce different moods and tones in your house?
2. Business Practices-
Do your parents drive you crazy? Do they know what is expected of them? Do you have policies in place? Do you act like a professional? Did you know that you can train your parents how to treat you and your business? How do you find the balance between giving the parents what they want and keeping your sanity? Do you run your daycare like a business or like a babysitting service? Do you have preschool programs? What can you do to enhance your services to the family that you can have fun with?
3. Children-
Do the children know what is expected of them? Are you consistent with discipline or is it something you have to continue to revisit? Do children have a balance of relaxing and stimulating activities? Is there enough transition time between activities? Is there enough variety of toys and activities for each child's interests? Do you have engaging activities such as music, exercise or stretching, yoga, dancing, that keeps the children interested and allow them to use fine and gross motor control?
4. Your self-
Do you take enough time for you? (HA!--we all say) Do you think you DESERVE time for yourself? Do you know how to nurture your body, mind, and spirit? Do you exercise some everyday besides lifting kids on and off the diaper changing table? Do you have a hobby that you have been dying to take up? Is your attitude positive? Can you learn how to make some time for yourself everyday? Are you too serious or do you laugh things off easily? Do you over-commit yourself? Do you ask others for help? Do you take time off?
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I do have a lot of great info on Provider Burnout to share, though.... Know you are not alone.
PROVIDER BURNOUT
In a study conducted at the University of Maryland, by Susan Walker, PhD, in-home family daycare providers were proven to be particularly prone to personal stress. The factors that they stated contributed to this were: long hours (average of 60 hours a week), low pay (an average of $15,000 a year), and the low value of their job to the public despite the huge need for care. All of these factors deem daycare providers at high risk for burnout.
There are three stages of burnout:
1. Stress Arousal Stage Persistent irritability and anxiety
Bruxism and/or Insomnia
Occasional forgetfulness and/or inability to concentrate
2. Stress Resistance Stage Absenteeism or tardiness for work
Tired and fatigued for no reason
Procrastination and indecision
Social withdrawal with cynicism
Resentful, indifferent, defiant
Increased use of coffee, alcohol, tobacco, etc.
3. Severe Exhaustion Stage Chronic sadness or depression
Chronic mental and physical fatigue
Chronic stress related illnesses (headache, stomach ache, bowel problems, etc.)
So how do you know if you or a loved one is suffering from burnout?
Here are the early warning signs.
Chronic fatigue - exhaustion, tiredness, a sense of being physically run down
Anger at those making demands
Self-criticism for putting up with the demands
Cynicism, negativity, and irritability
A sense of being besieged
Exploding easily at seemingly inconsequential things
Frequent headaches and gastrointestinal disturbance
Weight loss or gain
Sleeplessness and depression
Shortness of breath
Suspiciousness
Feelings of helplessness
Increased degree of risk taking
Isolation, withdrawal, self-destructive thoughts
What do you do if you are suffering from burnout?
Take a break!!! Get a massage, meditate, hide, stare at a wall...get away!
Ask for love ones to lighten the load and help with your responsibilities.
Simplify your life. What can you take out?
Relax and nurture yourself.
Seek professional help if it gets severe.
Reduce your stress!!!
STRESS
Know thy enemy...
Studies has proven that in-home daycare providers are more prone to stress than the average bear.
Yet there are little or no resources to daycare providers for reducing and managing stress.
Why is this? We can only suppose that everyone is too stressed out to do anything about it!
In a study of providers in Maryland:
37% of providers rated themselves as experiencing very high
or somewhat high levels of stress in the past month
54.5% had effects on health behaviors
51.7% enjoy their job less than typical population
35% report feeling bad physically
33.6% experienced strong moods
WHAT IS STRESS?
Stress is the excitement, feeling of anxiety and/or physical tension that occurs when
demands placed on an individual exceed his or her ability to cope.
We need stress in many ways. It helps us to survive, it is our fight or flight response.
It helps us to cross the street, move out of the way when something is thrown at us, be frightened
when somebody yells “boo”. We want to stay out of the way of danger so our body physically
responds to surprises so we don’t kill ourselves and we fear things.
Stress response: When challenged, the body undergoes a progressive series of responses that are first triggered by an external stimulus termed the stressor. The more prolonged and accelerating reactions produce an intense and severe disruption called strain. All of this moves the body away from homeostasis, the maintenance of equilibrium of the internal body functions in response to external changes.
WHAT CAUSES STRESS?
Psychological causes
Life changes--events, circumstances or perceptions
Overload--too much to do, not enough time to do it
Insufficient resources--not enough money or time
Frustration--lack of happiness or fulfillment
Trauma or loss--death of a close friend or relative
External causes
Occupation
Environmental strain (noise, temperature, etc.)
Substance abuse (alcohol/drugs)
Nutritional excesses (caffeine, sugar)
Nutritional deficiencies (vitamins or nutrients)
Personality causes
Self-perception
Anxious reactivity, hypervigilance, worry
Need for control,
Time urgency
Anger or hostility
Major sources of stress in daycare include:
conflicts with parents
role conflict
not being able to balance work and family
fairness in housework
feeling overloaded
not having enough time for family activities
not enough time with family
not enough money
conflict with their own family
not having enough children in their daycare
Other things that effect our stress:
Poor resource management: Time and money are precious and limited resources. Wasting either of these creates serious tension and stress. Unwillingness to delegate or let go of control also increases stress.
Personal relationships: Romance and love are exciting eustress experiences while conflict, jealousy and resentment are common distresses when a relationship breaks down.
Self-perception: Low self-esteem and self-confidence together with the absence of feeling connected or empowered, can all precipitate stress reactions. Taken to excess (self-confidence) these can lead to egoism and cockiness which will cause different stress reactions.
Beliefs and attitudes: Family scripts like "A penny saved is a penny earned," "A job worth doing is worth doing well" can cause undue stress and force the person to live up to an unrealistic image.
WHAT ARE POSSIBLE EFFECTS OF STRESS ON THE BODY?
muscle tightness and tension
decreased immunity, increased sickness
aches/pains in back and neck
fatigue and lack of energy
headaches, migraines
digestive problems
depression and/or anxiety
decreased ability of movement
accelerated aging
These can lead to: high blood pressure; restricted movement;
ulcers; heart attack; cancer; stroke; etc.
WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT OUR STRESS?
Simplify your life
Avoid over-commitment and over-responsibility
Learn how to say "NO".
Delegate your duties, have others help you.
Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep
Relax and breathe
Take some time for you everyday
REDUCING STRESS
"It's not what happens to you in life that matters,
it's how you react to what happens to you that counts."
4 areas that you can reduce stress in your daycare business:
1. Daycare environment-
How is your daycare set up? Is it cluttered? Are toys and activities easily accessible? Is it bright and cheery or dark and dreary? What colors are the basic colors of the room? Does the area provide space to relax or is it constantly high energy? Did you know that you can use color and scents to induce different moods and tones in your house?
2. Business Practices-
Do your parents drive you crazy? Do they know what is expected of them? Do you have policies in place? Do you act like a professional? Did you know that you can train your parents how to treat you and your business? How do you find the balance between giving the parents what they want and keeping your sanity? Do you run your daycare like a business or like a babysitting service? Do you have preschool programs? What can you do to enhance your services to the family that you can have fun with?
3. Children-
Do the children know what is expected of them? Are you consistent with discipline or is it something you have to continue to revisit? Do children have a balance of relaxing and stimulating activities? Is there enough transition time between activities? Is there enough variety of toys and activities for each child's interests? Do you have engaging activities such as music, exercise or stretching, yoga, dancing, that keeps the children interested and allow them to use fine and gross motor control?
4. Your self-
Do you take enough time for you? (HA!--we all say) Do you think you DESERVE time for yourself? Do you know how to nurture your body, mind, and spirit? Do you exercise some everyday besides lifting kids on and off the diaper changing table? Do you have a hobby that you have been dying to take up? Is your attitude positive? Can you learn how to make some time for yourself everyday? Are you too serious or do you laugh things off easily? Do you over-commit yourself? Do you ask others for help? Do you take time off?
MamaBearCanada 02:30 PM 11-06-2013
canadiancare 11:19 AM 11-14-2013
Thanks for this. I have the worst bunch of kids I have had in all my 21 years of daycare. I am finding very little joy in what I am doing and I am counting down the days until 2 of them graduate out in September.
I am not sure it is indeed burnout but I dread Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.
I am not sure it is indeed burnout but I dread Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.
My3cents 11:40 AM 11-15-2013
try changing things up-
move stuff around
do the everyday everyday a little different one day
try stepping outside of the box
focus on one kid at a time and the issues that child is having
breathe deep air breaths
take care of you
talk with parents, sometimes just telling them that little guy had a ruff day and would not leave his friends alone can help. Ask the parent to talk with the child. Don't make this an everyday thing, no parent wants to hear that their child had a bad day everyday. If they are having a bad day everyday maybe your program is not the best fit for the kiddo and that is ok.
be serious when necessary but don't be over serious all day every day. Let little things slide, pick and choose your battles.
Preplan
Get the kids outside if you can
let the weekends or off time be yours, and your families.
Remember why you loved your job in the first place.
Do online and face to face research on how to better your program and better deal with the issues you are having.
Know your not alone-
best
move stuff around
do the everyday everyday a little different one day
try stepping outside of the box
focus on one kid at a time and the issues that child is having
breathe deep air breaths
take care of you
talk with parents, sometimes just telling them that little guy had a ruff day and would not leave his friends alone can help. Ask the parent to talk with the child. Don't make this an everyday thing, no parent wants to hear that their child had a bad day everyday. If they are having a bad day everyday maybe your program is not the best fit for the kiddo and that is ok.
be serious when necessary but don't be over serious all day every day. Let little things slide, pick and choose your battles.
Preplan
Get the kids outside if you can
let the weekends or off time be yours, and your families.
Remember why you loved your job in the first place.
Do online and face to face research on how to better your program and better deal with the issues you are having.
Know your not alone-
best
renlenfel 01:03 PM 11-17-2013
Great post! Since I am still new to this business and not feeling burn out in the least...yet....I'm aware that this could happen at some point. It's good to know the signs and ways of preventing or curing burn out if should occur. I'm learning so much from this forum, I really appreciate this post. Sometimes it just helps to know I'm not alone during the day as I feed, change diapers, feed, change diaper, change diaper, feed......
Unregistered 07:19 PM 11-24-2013
I was happy to see the information shared on burn-out. Sometimes we a daycare providers do not want to address this subject. I believe that if others know that they are not the only ones feeling a certain way, they will be able to discuss and share what the are feeling and not feel alone. It is always nice to have suggestions or tips on anythings you are going through. Thank you for the info.
renodeb 10:36 AM 12-04-2013
You are most certainly not alone. I think one reason providers get burned out is that they dont take enough time off. Either because there clients complain or they feel they dont need the time off. I feel that it is essential in this field to take atleast 2 weeks vacation off per year and some others days off through out the year. I take all the school holidays off and two weeks a year of vacation. I really look forward to my weekends to thats my recharge time!
My3cents 10:13 AM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by renodeb:
You are most certainly not alone. I think one reason providers get burned out is that they dont take enough time off. Either because there clients complain or they feel they dont need the time off. I feel that it is essential in this field to take atleast 2 weeks vacation off per year and some others days off through out the year. I take all the school holidays off and two weeks a year of vacation. I really look forward to my weekends to thats my recharge time!
I completely agree with this! Highly recommend. I also know it is hard for many of us to do this. We feel like we will loose clients for not being there. Wrong. Parents respect this even if it is an inconvenience to them. It makes us better providers~ Taking care of our own needs doesn't make us less valuable or less dependable. Key point is to give your parents plenty of time to plan ahead.You are most certainly not alone. I think one reason providers get burned out is that they dont take enough time off. Either because there clients complain or they feel they dont need the time off. I feel that it is essential in this field to take atleast 2 weeks vacation off per year and some others days off through out the year. I take all the school holidays off and two weeks a year of vacation. I really look forward to my weekends to thats my recharge time!
Having this forum to bounce off of is a big deal for me. This is something I do for myself to avoid that burn out feeling. I usually come on here after lunch clean up at quiet time. It gives me a sense of connect to others, and many that I consider friends even if I will never meet you face to face-
Best-
busybodies14 08:23 AM 12-17-2013
Its so nice to hear everyone's in the same boat. I do have to say right now I'm writing my days off for the upcoming year and it makes me nervous cause parents do complain 
I feel bad even though we all need and deserve our days off.
I feel bad even though we all need and deserve our days off.
drseuss 09:27 AM 02-25-2014
I am a long-time childcare provider who found this forum through an internet search. I am burning out, and was in need of some advice and companionship in the midst of it.
I have spent many years as a state-licensed ccp, and my body and mind are telling me it is time for a change. I have been having panic attacks in the mornings, usually about the time I am blow-drying my hair, so about 20 minutes before my first arrivals. I am constantly nursing a headache from clenching my teeth, feeling totally exhausted, barely able to participate in my marriage. It is all too much. Unfortunately, over the past year, we have invested quite heavily in my program.
I am very good at what I do, my program is highly recommended in our town. The problem is now the guilt that I am carrying around for feeling like I am burning out. We as providers are charged with the most important job of nurturing and loving our little ones. I am perfectly able to do that, but knowing that I am fizzling out leaves me with a guilt that I cannot seem to reconcile.
Anybody else going through something similar? Thanks so much.
I have spent many years as a state-licensed ccp, and my body and mind are telling me it is time for a change. I have been having panic attacks in the mornings, usually about the time I am blow-drying my hair, so about 20 minutes before my first arrivals. I am constantly nursing a headache from clenching my teeth, feeling totally exhausted, barely able to participate in my marriage. It is all too much. Unfortunately, over the past year, we have invested quite heavily in my program.
I am very good at what I do, my program is highly recommended in our town. The problem is now the guilt that I am carrying around for feeling like I am burning out. We as providers are charged with the most important job of nurturing and loving our little ones. I am perfectly able to do that, but knowing that I am fizzling out leaves me with a guilt that I cannot seem to reconcile.
Anybody else going through something similar? Thanks so much.
Cowabunga childcare 02:07 PM 06-29-2015
This forum is super helpful for that burn out feeling. I really like knowing there are other providers out there that are at home- alone- do adult interactions all day. And it's true about parents respecting you more when you take the day off.
renodeb 10:38 AM 11-07-2016
I will say it again, I think one of the main reasons providers suffer burn out is that they don't take enough vacation/days off. I take the school holidays off, and 3 weeks a years of vacation. I have seen posts on dc message boards from providers that pride themselves on taking no days off because there clients complain or they feel for whatever reason that they cant.
Another tip is to know your limitations, dont take on to much. Another way to feel burn out is to take kids even though they may not be the right fit because you are worried about making ends meet (I totally get that). One child can really color they mood of the whole group.
I also think a lot of providers are bothered by the isolation this job can create. Get away from your house, make sure you have some adult interaction every day of some sort!
Deb
Another tip is to know your limitations, dont take on to much. Another way to feel burn out is to take kids even though they may not be the right fit because you are worried about making ends meet (I totally get that). One child can really color they mood of the whole group.
I also think a lot of providers are bothered by the isolation this job can create. Get away from your house, make sure you have some adult interaction every day of some sort!
Deb
cassiesue 08:39 PM 11-29-2016
Love this thread and am ordering the book!
I know I do tend to take on too much. Then I end up chastising myself after the fact. I tend to over-empathize with my clients, both my dcps and my legal clients.
I am beyond grateful I found this forum as it helps!!!
And have pledged to begin next year with the motto: wwbc31do?
I am making baby steps. I am in the process of revamping my contract and creating a separate handbook just for policies. I have even managed to sleep train both my infant dcbabies so that I can lay them down for a nap at the same time, whereas before I alternated their naps.
I also just doubled my legal rate and am thinking of increasing it another $50. Sounds extreme, but I had not raised my rates since 1993! Long overdue!
I also have decided to save my sanity and hire a second person in afternoons to supervise outside play, lol, so my assistant has an assistant! I am soooooo not an outdoors person, but I still average at least an hour in the evenings outside so I can interact with my 5-year-old!
I wish I liked the taste of wine as I heard that it is quite relaxing...
Thanks to the owner of the site and all that contribute!!!
I know I do tend to take on too much. Then I end up chastising myself after the fact. I tend to over-empathize with my clients, both my dcps and my legal clients.
I am beyond grateful I found this forum as it helps!!!
And have pledged to begin next year with the motto: wwbc31do?
I am making baby steps. I am in the process of revamping my contract and creating a separate handbook just for policies. I have even managed to sleep train both my infant dcbabies so that I can lay them down for a nap at the same time, whereas before I alternated their naps.
I also just doubled my legal rate and am thinking of increasing it another $50. Sounds extreme, but I had not raised my rates since 1993! Long overdue!
I also have decided to save my sanity and hire a second person in afternoons to supervise outside play, lol, so my assistant has an assistant! I am soooooo not an outdoors person, but I still average at least an hour in the evenings outside so I can interact with my 5-year-old!
I wish I liked the taste of wine as I heard that it is quite relaxing...
Thanks to the owner of the site and all that contribute!!!
Elizabeth80 01:51 PM 01-06-2017
I recommend meditation and yoga
steffidsouza46 10:12 AM 06-05-2017
Traditional theories teach us that burnout is caused by working too many hours or enduring too much stress, but that's a gross oversimplification of the matter.
Cat Herder 04:46 AM 03-04-2019
Originally Posted by steffidsouza46:
Traditional theories teach us that burnout is caused by working too many hours or enduring too much stress, but that's a gross oversimplification of the matter.
Sure, but it's a start. Traditional theories teach us that burnout is caused by working too many hours or enduring too much stress, but that's a gross oversimplification of the matter.
Knowing you're not alone and having access to others going through similar things is a pretty big relief for those so isolated.
amazingchristianacademy 01:07 PM 08-02-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
It was suggested that we "sticky" this great information for those that need it to find it easily and it is VERY useful and really important information.
It was suggested that we "sticky" this great information for those that need it to find it easily and it is VERY useful and really important information.
Unregistered 06:46 PM 02-13-2020
What do you do with an assistant that likes to run the show overrule my policies and constantly complains about everything. She’s stressing me out and I feel aggravated! Please help!
Cat Herder 03:45 AM 02-14-2020
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What do you do with an assistant that likes to run the show overrule my policies and constantly complains about everything. She’s stressing me out and I feel aggravated! Please help!
Replace her. What do you do with an assistant that likes to run the show overrule my policies and constantly complains about everything. She’s stressing me out and I feel aggravated! Please help!
CeriBear 11:52 AM 06-07-2020
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What do you do with an assistant that likes to run the show overrule my policies and constantly complains about everything. She’s stressing me out and I feel aggravated! Please help!
I’d suggest talking with her and maybe sharing some duties with her. Talk with her and explain that though you are the lead you would like her input. Maybe let her plan a few activities or do chores that you really don’t like. I’ve had bossy and negative assistants before and it is frustrating.What do you do with an assistant that likes to run the show overrule my policies and constantly complains about everything. She’s stressing me out and I feel aggravated! Please help!