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Old 09-17-2010, 11:07 AM
DancingQueen DancingQueen is offline
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Default Do You Raise Your Voice?

I am a mother of 4 kids (4-16) I've been known to raise my voice with my own children (oh - I'd say a couple of times ).
But during daycare hours I normally don't raise my voice. But I'm having issues with the 3 that I have right now. They just don't listen, no matter how many times they are asked not to do something.
I have my "DANGER" voice that I use when someone is about to do something very dangerous - that is when I normally raise my voice. If someone is about to touch something hot or touch an outlet (even though they all have protectors in them). But I find that the crew I have now just keeps on doing what they were doing when I speak to them UNTIL I call their name in my danger voice.
I dont' like it. I don't like raising my voice to them at all. It makes me feel like I don't have patience with them or something - but that isn't the case at all.

I dont' do this all the time - but if I'm changing a diaper and can't walk away from the changing table and I see someone hurting someone else.. I start off saying "G.. please don't do that - that is not nice" No response. "G... " NOTHING - they just keep right on doing it. Finally (since, again - I can't leave the changing table) I shout "G!" and he looks at me - I now have his attention and I calmly tell him to stop and he does.

Am I alone? I can't even begin to express how much I HATE raising my voice to other people's children.
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Old 09-17-2010, 11:18 AM
laundryduchess@yahoo.com laundryduchess@yahoo.com is offline
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I yell FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! I NEED EYES ON ME. then when they all are looking I be sure to tell the behaving ones that I love their behavior,.. and the non behaving ones,.. I need you to come here. Then remind them how to behave.I have 3 boys within 3 months each other AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They have been together here since each was 6 weeks old. So they are essentially brothers.
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Old 09-17-2010, 11:18 AM
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marniewon marniewon is offline
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You are not the only one. My kids here do not listen to my normal voice either. I have a "stern" voice that I use - it's not loud at all, just stern. I find myself using that a lot more lately. I do use the louder danger voice too - in the same type of situation that you said. I hate it too, and especially now that it's summer and windows are open, I'm always afraid someone's going to be walking by and hear me and think I'm a monster! Although, the lady next door has a dc also, and I've heard her use the various voices also, so I don't feel too bad.
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Old 09-17-2010, 11:48 AM
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tenderhearts tenderhearts is offline
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Haha I do what laundryduchess does, OR if talking louder doesn't work I'll clap loudly and it startles them and then they all look at me and know I mean business then I'll say eyes on me and listen up...But thank goodness my "new" group is soooooo much better than the last few kids I had. It's been such a relief.
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Old 09-17-2010, 12:13 PM
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DanceMom DanceMom is offline
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I have definately had to use a yelling voice or I clap very loudly. Ive thought about buying a whistle !
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Old 09-17-2010, 12:35 PM
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AmandasFCC AmandasFCC is offline
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Yeah I had one 4yo who stirred the pot like no one's business and before I termed him I found myself yelling way more often than I like. It happens, don't beat yourself over it.

I do make sure I sit them down, tell them why I yelled and explain that even though I didn't like that behaviour, I still like them.
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Old 09-17-2010, 01:35 PM
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kidkair kidkair is offline
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If they are fighting or getting out of control while I'm changing a diaper I raise my voice and tell everyone to sit down. It's rare that I have to do that since they usually respond to a "knock it off" or "settle down". But if they do it in the morning than the rest of the day everyone is sitting down before I go to change a diaper and staying there until I'm done washing my hands. They learn their lesson pretty quick. Sometimes when they are acting out and I feel like raising my voice at one of them then instead I grab that kid in and set them on my lap facing outward. I talk to the kid and explain that their behavior was unacceptable and they will be sitting in my lap for a minute. It's not a time out but it's a way for everyone to settle down quickly and calmly and all learn that the behavior was wrong.
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Old 09-17-2010, 04:57 PM
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I have a large group and sometimes they all behave like little angels, but it usually takes one to grab a toy from another or to start pushing or hitting and then it works like a virus until all of them are running & screaming and totally oblivious to my voice (which I also try not to raise too loud). I think my voice becomes like the adult waaaaa waaa voice in all those old Charlie Brown cartoons. The kids just tune me out. I find that turning off the lights using my wall switch will make them all stop instantly. Then once I get their attention, I can speak to them in a civilized manner. I try not to use it too much, because I'm afraid it might lose its magical quality if I do it all the time.
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